Why me

Docmentry 1

Hi its currently 11/22/20 

today is Sunday 

I woke up to messages from my friends they love to joke around and tell jokes about more personal problems

Today on a group all we talked about was how everyone's saying luv but there was a moment where I told a him his profile pic looks bad...…you know its a joke so he asked my friends for embarrassing pictures of me he got on and put it as his profile pic and said ,"better?" me as a person said i wanna die they always say that can be arranged and talked and talked about how they going to kill me I said I'm crying inside and they one of them said when don't you cry inside lol....my other "friend said ad least we don't have to see your ugly face cry...…yea funny right I know its a joke but still hit hard I've been suffering about self image for a log time now something in me clicked and  broke down...…apart of me wanted to say something but I felt so useless and ugly and i just couldn't i listen to songs to keep me motivated but usually just makes me cry because I feel like music is the only kind of platform or system that kind of listens to you. 

I'm sorry if you struggle with self image and only eat like 1 meal a day i wan you to know that giving up isn't a solution i want you to know I'm here and that's it going to be okay I'm here and I'm so sorry they hurt you...but your stronger than them you going to stumble and fall but the key is to get back up because you are a bad b***h. I need you to be happy yes t may take some time be patient it isnt going t get better over night get up take those 7 week old dishs to the kitchen make your bed clean your room and brush that hair.......do your makeup and get cute clothes on not for them but for yourself..... believe in you you've got this .

i hoped you enjoyed this come back tomorrow for more remember I love you  <3