KILLER ADDICTION: When Murder Becomes A Habit

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

‘ELLEN, YOUR FIVE O’CLOCK is here,’ buzzed the intercom to the young psychiatrist fresh out of college and in her first year of practice. Ellen was keen to make a difference in people’s lives. She was highly engaged with her patients and formed a strong emotional connection with them, despite the warnings from her mentors. Ellen felt that a deep connection made her a better therapist, but those more experienced in the field (‘tired and jaded’ in young Ellen’s eyes) had learned of the dangers of getting too entwined in the lives of their patients.

Jane, a pretty, young eighteen-year-old, walked into Ellen’s office, eyes cast downwards to the floor. As soon as the young girl looked up, Ellen could tell there was something very troubling going on in her life; her eyes were red and swollen and there were fresh tears running down her cheeks. ‘How are you, Jane?’ asked Ellen, as she came around from behind her desk and put her arm around the young girl. ‘What’s going on with you at the moment?’

‘Oh, Ellen!’ she wailed, and flung her arms around Ellen’s neck. Such contact was strictly against recommended practice, but Ellen embraced her fully, comforting the sobbing girl. ‘It’s terrible at home, now that I’ve finished school. All my Mom cares about is getting drunk and her stupid new boyfriend! It’s been the same ever since my no-good father left when I was little—Mom gets boozed up with her horrible boyfriends and just wants to be with them, she doesn’t love me! But this time it’s worse, because this jerk has moved in with us and thinks he owns the place. He says if I’m not going to college, then I need to move out. And he’s a real creep—he walked in on me in the shower today and just stood there looking at me totally n***d! He didn’t even pretend to look away, he just smiled like a dirty old man. I told my mom what happened, and she didn’t believe me, said I was just being a stupid little girl. I can’t stay there tonight, I just can’t!’ Her sobbing increased in intensity almost to the point of hysteria.

‘It’s okay Jane, don’t worry, we’ll work something out. It’s not hopeless—let’s sit down now, talk it through and find a solution,’ said Ellen, directing Jane to the comfortable couch in the corner of her small office. While she had only been seeing Jane for a few weeks, Ellen knew that Jane was a troubled girl, had seen the self-harm scars on her wrists and arms and heard about her dark thoughts. But Ellen was idealistic about her profession and committed to helping her patients, however she could.

‘Can you stay with any of your friends tonight?’ asked Ellen.

‘No, I’ve tried all of them and none of them can have me over. Not after what happened last summer.’ Ellen let that comment hang in the silence, resolving to come back to it when Jane was calmer. ‘I’ve got nowhere to go; I don’t want to sleep in a bus shelter!’ cried Jane. Slowly, she looked across at Ellen and locked eyes, fixing her gaze and pouring out all her sadness and pleading in her softest, childlike voice as she asked, ‘Could I please stay with you tonight? Just for one night? I wouldn’t be any trouble, I promise.’

It tore Ellen. She had seen this coming, and all her training told her to say no. She remembered all her professors telling her not to cross the line between professional and personal. But, she thought, that was just because they don’t care and had given up after doing it for too long. Ellen was different, and Jane was different, and she needed her help. So, with a slight nod of her head, Ellen said, ‘Okay Jane, but just for one night, while you get yourself together, then you need to find somewhere else.’

‘Oh Ellen, you’re the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you!’ squealed Jane, as she leapt off the couch and hugged Ellen all over again. Ellen felt warm inside as she received the embrace from her grateful patient.

The two young women gathered their things and headed out of the office, past the middle-aged woman sitting behind the reception desk, who shot Ellen a sharp look of concern and surprise. ‘Um, Ellen dear, can I talk to you for a moment, please?’ she said.

Knowing what was coming, Ellen cut her off and said, ‘I’m sure it can wait until the morning Wendy, let’s discuss it then. See you tomorrow.’ And with that, Ellen and Jane walked together out the door of the waiting room.

They rolled through the clean suburban streets with immaculate gardens and children playing in the yards. Jane saw an idyllic lifestyle like something she had only ever seen on TV. The dream continued as they walked through the bright red front door into Ellen’s house. Jane immediately felt the warmth and comfort of a cheerful home. She gasped as she saw Ellen’s strikingly handsome husband and delightfully cute little daughter playing together in the living room with their own special private tea party.

‘Well, hello there, who do we have here, Honey?’ the man said in a smooth, friendly voice.

‘Dan, meet my friend Jane. Jane, this is Dan, and this is my darling Lucy,’ said Ellen with a flourish, the love and emotion evident in her voice.

Jane gasped again as Dan, incredibly handsome, tall, adorned with a healthy tan, sandy hair, striking blue eyes, and a warm smile, stood up and made his way over, put his arm on her shoulder, then leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek and said, ‘Welcome to our home, Jane. It’s wonderful to meet you.’

Jane’s heart soared, her stomach fluttered, and her mind went into overdrive at his caring, gentle touch. Jane had been desperately lonely growing up. This image of a beautiful and caring home life seemed like an unobtainable nirvana for her.

The night progressed calmly and delightfully through dinner, followed by Lucy’s bedtime, dinner clean-up and glasses of wine. Dan explained to Ellen his plans to take a trip to the lake and feed the ducks with Lucy the next day. Jane went off to bed in the spare room, just down the hall from Ellen and the deliciously dreamy Dan. Jane had never felt so cared-for and comforted. She spent the first few hours in her bed contemplating this turning point in her life and fantasising about her future. Reaching a decision and determining her course of action eased her troubled mind, and she finally fell into the deepest and most carefree sleep she had experienced for many years.

Domestic bliss continued in the morning as Ellen prepared herself for the day’s patients and ran out the door, while Dan got ready to take Lucy to kindergarten. Jane had a hearty breakfast of waffles and bacon and then went off to fulfil her own plans.

Jane visited a friend who was a factory worker at a medical supplies company. He had always been desperate for her attention, but Jane had shown no interest until now. She turned on the charm and he immediately agreed to help her in any way he could, hoping it would increase his chances with her. Jane convinced him to steal two portable bottles of medical gas—one of anaesthetic and another of oxygen, along with tubing and a face mask. Jane left with a promise to be in touch soon and arrange going on a date together.

Jane returned to Ellen’s house and made her way around the back. After spotting Dan upstairs, she snuck in through the back door, grabbed Dan’s car keys and quickly made her way into the garage. She unlocked the car and then returned the keys to the house. She slipped back into the garage and then climbed in the back of Dan’s SUV, well-hidden by the tinted windows and an old blanket that was laying in the back.

Jane’s nerves were on a knife-edge during the half-hour wait for Dan, but she calmed down as soon as he got in and started the engine, leaving Jane undiscovered in the back. The quick drive to Lucy’s kindergarten was uneventful and then joyful sounds emerged as Lucy jumped in the car, all bubbly and excited about her time at kindergarten.

‘Do you want to feed the ducks at the lake, Honey?’ asked Dan over his shoulder to Lucy.

‘Yay! Duckies!’ responded his daughter with an excited squeal of delight.

‘I’ll take that as a yes, shall I?’ said Dan with a smile. He drove away from the kindergarten and after a few minutes made the turn off the main road towards the lake. Jane slipped on her face mask and hooked up her supply of oxygen, then poked the bottle of anaesthetic gas out from under the blanket and opened the valve slowly, careful to control the sound of the escaping gas. Soon after, Lucy’s chattering stopped, and Jane could hear Dan yawning—she pictured his head nodding and him shaking it side to side to stay awake. He pulled into the parking area and stopped the car. Jane heard the gear selector go into park and the engine note change, but it kept running.

Jane poked her head out from under the blanket and saw that Dan had passed out before even turning the engine off. She left the valve of the anaesthetic gas bottle open and placed it on the back seat next to Lucy, then climbed over the back seat, still hooked up to her oxygen supply. She gazed longingly at Lucy, already thinking of her as her own. She took a deep breath, pulled off her face mask and then gave Lucy a tender hug and a long, delicate kiss on her soft little cheek. Then she replaced her mask and climbed through to the front passenger seat. She looked out of the car and noted the carpark was empty—the only signs of life were the ducks calmly floating on top of the lake, the surface of which was smooth as glass.

After another deep breath, Jane once again removed her face mask, then kissed Dan longingly full on the lips. She forced her tongue into his slack mouth, slipped her hands under his clothes and wondered at the feel of his firm, bare chest with a light matting of hair. Once she’d had her fill of the unconscious Dan, she withdrew her hands and lips, then put her mask back on and breathed once again. She reached down and moved Dan’s seat back as far as it would go, then sat on his lap, squeezing herself in behind the steering wheel, loving the feel of his body and the flood of warmth inside her.

Jane took one last deep breath, then removed her face mask and placed it on the seat next to her. She turned for one more fond look at Lucy and a final, lingering kiss with Dan, imagining she felt a response. Then she turned to face forward, put the car in gear and gently pushed her foot on the accelerator to get the large car moving. She turned the steering wheel to direct the car towards the lake and then breathed deeply, taking in the anaesthetic gas that had flooded the car. With the vehicle now steadily moving ahead, Jane turned slightly sideways and nestled her head on Dan’s shoulder, snuggling into his neck. She felt completely at peace, the happiest she had ever felt in her entire life, absorbing the tranquil, loving scene in the car. Finally, she had a perfect family all her own, and they would be together forever.

The big SUV effortlessly mounted the curb of the carpark, quietly rolled down the bank, then slowly slipped into the lake and submerged down into the depths.

A steady stream of air bubbles was the only trace left behind of Ellen’s loving family and the troubled teen she had brought into their lives.