Lucy

Chapter Three - Revisited

Lucy - The Present

I couldn't breathe. I stared at my hands as the memories of that first time we fucked...no - the first time he r***d me came crashing back. I was sitting in the hotel lobby’s bathroom, kneeling on the floor and trying to steady my breathing.

I am so f*****g pathetic. Anger was knotted in my stomach but I couldn't do a thing. Underneath his gaze I was a wreck. I used to be so strong. He used to be my friend. Just a friend. And over time he became my abuser, my rapist...my love.

No no no. I yanked down the waistband of my jeans to look at the scar on my hip. The small white circle that reminded me of the evil inside of him. But it didn't. The first thought that came to mind was how his tongue felt as he licked his way over my hips, paying special attention to the scar before diving his tongue into my p***y. He used to be so so good at that. So good at holding me against the wall as he invaded every part of me with his tongue and his hands. His favourite place to f**k was always in bathrooms or hallway closets in pubs or houses.

“We might get caught” he used to whisper into my ear whilst f*****g me hard, his hand clamped over my mouth so I wouldn't make a noise.

I lay my head in my hands and sank onto my ass, my back pushed against the wall. He was still outside at the bar. Sitting with his new concubine as she fussed all over him. I wondered how he would f**k her tonight. He wanted s*x every day. It would be her or whoever else he could find. He was insatiable and beautiful. Women feel all over him. He could have anyone he wanted.

And that's why he left me. He used and abused and left me with nothing.

I slammed my fist down hard on the floor but refused to let myself cry. I had a date now. A sweet guy I met at a cafe the other day had invited me here for a drink. He worked in the hotel and got off work at 7. He asked me to meet him at the bar. It was 7:10. He was probably waiting. And Jeremy would be there too. Watching me. Trying to make me as uncomfortable as possible. I would ask my date if we could go somewhere else. That would work.

I got up and approached the mirror. I put on a new layer of plum lipstick and ran my fingers through my hair. I looked okay. I decided on tight skinny jeans tonight and a white flowing shirt. My cleavage stuck out just enough and I was proud of how good my new bra made them look. 

I am okay. I smiled at my reflection. I'm okay.

I walked out and towards the bar as confidently as I could. Chad was sitting at the bar looking cute as hell. We had mostly.spoken online but he seemed sweet and friendly. He had big blue eyes and messy blonde hair. His mouth broadened into a wide grin as he saw me and his eyes shone. f**k, he looked so happy.

“Lucy! Hey!” He jumped off his bar stool and stretched out his arms as he gathered me in for a hug and kissed me on the cheek. He was tall and strong and his clothes smelled like linen. He used a good clothes softener.

“I'm so sorry I'm late.” I said.

“No, it's okay. I'm so glad you came. You look beautiful.”

It was good hearing that from someone other than Jeremy or Adam.

Adam. I couldn't think of him now. I just wanted to enjoy this date. To enjoy this new man.

“So you want to get out of here? I know this Italian place next door. And I have a serious craving for Al Fredo past right now.” I said happily with a smile.

Chad grinned at me and held out his hand. “Whatever the lady desires.”

My heart fluttered as we sauntered out of the lobby. I did not look back but I knew he was still there, I knew he was watching. I breathed a sigh of relief as the cool night air hit me. Tonight was going to turn out perfectly after all.

And it did. Time with Chad flew by, and I enjoyed how easy it was to talk to him.

My body felt warm and soothed as I downed the last of my beer. Chad was smiling at me, his big blue eyes were so sweet and kind.

“Want another one?” He laughed

I giggled nervously. I had already had way too much to drink. But what did it matter? “Sure!” He signalled the waiter over and ordered another round. He got a vodka and coke and I held up the fresh, cool beer bottle against my cheek. A small sigh escaped my lips and I hoped he didn't notice it. I hadn't felt this content in a while.

“So have you always lived around here in good ol' Gatetown?” He asked.

Gatetown. A stupid name for a stupid, small town. I both hated and loved this town, and all the memories that came with is.

“Yeah, I moved to the west coast last year but I've been back now. There's no place like home.” I said, hoping he believed me.

He smiled sweetly. “That's very true. I love it here. Well, I've actually never been anywhere else.” He laughed sheepishly. “You know the cliche, raised on handouts, broke as hell and working in a hotel reception.” He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “Okay I don't know why I told you that on our first date.”

I knew a little bit about being broke and raised on handouts. I grew up in an orphanage. I had no parents, and no siblings. I shook the thought away. I didn't need to say any of that on a first date.

I smiled and leaned forward. I felt his eyes drop to my cleavage but he quickly glanced away and took a swig of his drink. So he was really trying to be a gentleman. I was impressed. “First date? Implying you think there will be more?”

He blushed. In the light of the small candle flickering on our table his face glowed. I wanted to touch him. I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Well, hopefully there will be more.”

He smiled widely and squeezed my hand back. It was so uniquely affectionate that I forgot where we were. I heard a door slam and noticed that the small restaurant was empty. We were the only customers left and 2 waiters were glancing at us with expectation.

“Oops, looks like we should go.” He laughed. 

I was pleasantly surprised when he paid the bill even though I offered. As we stepped outside he grabbed my hand again and I felt a flutter in my chest. 

“Would you like me to drive you home?”

I searched his face for expectation. What did he want? Did he expect s*x? Was this whole boy next door thing just a ruse? But his eyes never left mine. 

“No, it's okay. But you can walk me to the train station.”

He grinned. “Absolutely. Though I must apologise. I didn't expect to take you on a date to my place of work.” He c****d his head in the direction of the hotel next to us. It's wide glass doors glistened in the moonight. “When you suggested the bar I couldn't say no.”

My mind went straight to Jeremy. Those dark brown eyes glaring at me from across the room. I wondered if he was still inside.

I quickly shook him from my mind and looked back into the kind blue eyes in front of me. “Well, I'm glad we changed location.”

“The pasta was great.” He acknowledged with a smile.

Before I knew what I was doing I stepped forward and touched his face. My hand rested on his cheek and I brought my lips slowly to his. He gasped as I kissed him and gently put his arm around my waist.

I felt him relax and he slipped his tongue into my mouth as his lips slowly massaged mine. He was an amazing kisser.

His fingers trailed down my back and rested on my hips. He squeezed gently as I carefully pulled away. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. A nervous smile spread over his face. “Wow. Um, wow.”

“Was that okay?” I asked.

He frowned and pulled me against him again. His lips were on mine, a bit harder this time and his tongue more needing. I could feel my heart rate increasing as he ran his hands up and down my waist. His hand slowly slipped to my lower back and I thought he would grab my ass. But he slid it back up to my face and pulled away. “Yes, that was okay.” He whispered against my mouth.

I groaned inwardly as he took a step back and grasped my hand again. What a gentleman, was he seriously not going to try for s*x? No. He smiled again and turned towards the street where the station was just a few blocks down.

“Let's get you home.” He said with a smile.

*********

Jeremy - The Present

The moonlight glared against the ceiling to floor windows of my hotel room. Eva lay next to me on the king size bed breathing slowly. Her hair was spread all around her and her large breasts heaved up and down with every breath. She looked so innocent when she slept.

I ran my my thumb over her lips, up past her nose and rubbed some more smudged mascara off of the corner of her eye. 

I sat up and put my cold feet on the floor. My body felt heavy. I felt old. I stood up and went to the bathroom to have a piss and considered another glass of whiskey. The goddamn bar fridge was empty. What the f**k kind of hotel didn't refill the bar fridge daily? Oh, of course, a hotel in goddamn Gatetown.

I walked over to the big glass windows and rested my forehead against the cool pane. The moon and lights were bright outside. I could see down the whole street. It was late, the restaurants were closing their doors and the parallel parking spots were all empty. It was quiet in here besides for Eva’s slow breathing. I liked that.

I didn't expect to see her standing on the street. She was laughing, holding the hand of that prick outside a dodgy fake Italian restaurant. So this is what she lowered herself to now? Trash food and even trashier men. I wish I could have heard what he was saying to her. How did he get her to laugh so easily? She had such a beautiful laugh. I hadn't heard it a long time. Too long.

I watched as he suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him. My gun was locked in the safe. It would take me exactly 2 minutes to retrieve it and get downstairs if I ran full pace and used the fire escape.

But she didn't fight him.

Acid rose in my chest and I couldn't look away. I could make out the shapes of their bodies perfectly. He was sliding his arm around her waist. She was leaning into him. Good God, would she f**k him now? Is that what she was into now? I wouldn't put it past her. She is a woman, with needs after all. But him, really?

I could give her what she needs. If she would trust me and come up here I would give her what she needs.

But it was over soon. They were smiling at each other as they walked down the road. Where were they going now? They stopped outside the stairs for the train station. I felt angry again. She used f*****g public transport? What the f**k was going on with this girl?

They kissed again and she bounced down the steps. He was probably watching her ass as she moved in her own perfect way. He watched her leave and turned back towards the restaurant. He disappeared around the corner and that was it. They were both gone.

At least they were not f*****g tonight. 

But it was a matter of time. I knew it. She would want him soon.

Looking at her brought back an overwhelming need for a cigarette. I had kicked that shitty habit a year ago. Only she could make me hate myself enough to poison my body. If I could just touch her again everything would get better. She won't let me. I could take her again, force my way inside. But I made a promise. I would never use her again like that first time. Never again.

I lay back down and stared at Eva next to me. She could be my future. I could be with her. She was pretty and fun enough. Not too bright, but good enough.

I wouldn't sleep, but I closed my eyes and lay as still as I could anyway.

*****

The knocking on my door was hard. I couldn't deny that a surge of adrenaline had run through me like electricity. He was here. I wondered if he had brought the rest of the guys with him.

How bad would it hurt? If it was anything like what I had seen them do to other men, I would be in pain. The scars on my back - the abuse my father dished out to me from 3 years old would be nothing.

I could still smell her in the air. I couldn't go back into the bedroom. Her lace panties still lay on the floor. The tie I had used to bind her lay in a heap at the foot of my bed. That was 3 days ago. I hadn't left my apartment. I couldn't bring myself to even open the door. I had planned to leave straight after I watched her walk out my door, I even had all my s**t packed up. I wouldn't come back here again. She would tell Adam, his heart would break and he would come for me. So I waited here like the coward I was. Yet somewhere in my f****d up mind I had decided that death would be a better option that leaving.

I guess I was never that strong on self preservation. I had r***d the love of my life when the love of her life just happened to head up the fiercest gang in town. They told everybody they were protecting the community. And maybe they were, in a way. But it was really just a disguise for the prostitution and drug ring they ran behind closed doors. I should know, I was their middle man. I travelled a lot, making deals and delivering the goods. Lucy thought I was a stockbroker. She thought Adam was a bike mechanic. I wondered how a girl that smart could not see the truth right in front of her. I guess that's what love does. It makes you blind.

Another knock. Well, this was it I guess. I grabbed my second bottle of whiskey for the day and swigged the last bit. I'm sure I was a f*****g alcoholic. But, that didn't matter anymore.

I pulled open the door. Would he shoot straight away? Would he want me to suffer first?

I didn't get to find out. Lucy was behind the door. She was wearing a light blue dress that clung to her curvy frame. I almost choked as those big eyes met mine. She was alone. She wasn't smiling as she used to smile at me. But she wasn't frowning either. She looked...curious.

“It's okay.” She blurted out quickly.

“Are you alone?” The words stumbled out of my mouth.

This was a sick joke. Adam was getting her to trap me and he'd jump out and stab me in the throat. I'd seen him do it before; use pretty girls as bait. But no, he wouldn't do that to his Lucy. No, he loved -

“Yes I'm alone.”

I took a step back and she brushed past me. She smelled like strawberries. I took a breath to compose myself and closed the door behind her. I locked it, just in case.

“You didn't leave” she said quietly. “Why?”

“I didn't want to.”

“Did you trust me not to say anything?”

I needed to be back in control. Her eyes were so cool. She was fighting me. The defiance was back. 

“Are you threatening me?” I took a big step towards but she just sighed. She looked so tired.

“No.”

Another step. She flinched slightly but she didn't move. I stepped again. Slowly and more deliberate. I was near her now. She didn't move, she just lowered her eyes to the floor. I stepped again and now I was right in front of her. Her eyes were still lowered, but she took a deep breath.

She smelled so good. I felt my d**k hardening, as blood rushed through my body. The adrenaline wasn't wearing off. 

Before thinking I brushed my fingertips over her neck and hooked them in the straps of her dress. I slid them down her shoulders and the dress fell slowly to the ground, curving over her frame on the way down. Her eyes were still lowered. I reached my hands around her back and un-clipped her bra. The beautiful t**s I had fantasised so much about fell out and the cool air made goosebumps across her skin. I lowered myself onto my knees and hooked my fingers into the waistband of her g string. It slid of slowly and her p***y was right in front of my face. I took a deep breath. She smelled so sweet. I stood back up and her eyes followed me until she stood staring up into my face. Her small body came up to my chest and I looked down at her. She looked so nervous standing here naked under my eyes. My c**k was hardening uncomfortably in my pants.

I leaned my lips forward gently and kissed the top of her forehead. She sighed again. I tried to cup her face but she had slid onto her knees. My pants were pulled open in seconds and my d**k sprang out at her.

Before I could let out a breath she had guided me into her mouth. Her gentle tongue was working the underside of my c**k and she was pushing me deep into her throat and sucking hard. In and out, in and out she drew my c**k deeper and deeper. Her warm wet mouth on me was overwhelming. I stumbled back slightly and rested my hand on the wall for support but she didn't stop. Her head followed my d**k and she didn't stop sucking for a moment.

I moaned and ran my fingers through her hair. It was soft and fell through my fingertips gently.

“You don't have to…” I couldn't believe the words came out my mouth.

She suddenly pulled away from me and my c**k fell out her mouth. “Do you not want me?”

I groaned. I knew that face. Lucy's temper was legendary. Those big eyes and pouty lips were challenging me. f*****g b***h, she wanted me to ask her. She wanted me to beg her. I don't know what changed in her, but she was here on her knees, staring at me with that same defiance in her eyes. But there was something else in there too. I couldn't place the emotion.

“Would you swallow my c*m?” I asked cheekily.

A small smile escaped out the corner of her mouth but she quickly wiped it away. She was teasing me. “Probably not.”

“Then I want your pussy...again.”

Anger flashed through her face. “I'm not having s*x with you.”

“f**k. I don't 'have s*x’. I fuck.” I said roughly.

“Whatever. I don't want to.” She quickly stood up and glanced around for her dress.

God damnit. I had probably ruined it. I don't know why she was here, or why she put my c**k in her mouth. All I know is my d**k was hard with every move she made. Her t**s swung slightly as she turned to look for her dress.

“Don't go.” I croaked out.

“I don't know why I'm here.” It sounded like there were tears in her eyes, and her voice cracked.

“Because you want me. Because I make you feel good.” I smirked.

She sniffed. “I don't.”

“You do!” I shouted and in one move my hand was around her throat, she was against the wall and my fingers were inside of her. She was wet.

“You want me Lucy, that's why you came back. You feel the same way I do.” I whispered in her ear, fingering her slowly.

She was silent, her eyes closed. She panted softly. "Yes," she whispered.

I kissed her quickly, and hard. She moaned against my lips and then kissed me back. She kissed me hard and deep and I felt her hips wiggle against my groin. She was humping me 

“Say the words.” I breathed as I snaked my tongue around her neck and over her collarbone. She panted as my mouth found her n****e and I sucked hard. She tasted so sweet. I tweaked the other n****e one with my fingers and she gave out a small cry. But still, she said nothing.

I felt a feeling of anger surge through me and I dived my fingers back into her p***y. She clenched around them and I felt myself dripping precum against her hip. I would never forget how it felt to be inside her.

I was really working my fingers in and out of her and she was breathing heavily, thrusting her hips towards my hand. I moved my other hand up to her throat and tightened my grip. Still sucking on a n****e and fingering her hard with two fingers. She was so warm and wet. I needed to be inside her. But only if she asked.

A small choke escaped her mouth but I refused to let go of her throat.

“Yes,” she whispered “f**k me, yes.”

I pulled her body towards me and threw us onto the ground. I lifted one leg around me and slammed my c**k into her as hard as I could. I bottomed out and she arched her back and screamed underneath me.

I knew it wouldn't take long. Her mouth on my d**k earlier had already set me off. I kept my fingers around her neck as I pumped into her frantically. Her p***y was squeezing me tight, grabbing hold with every thrust.

She mumbled inaudibly but was grinding herself on me as I thrust. Her arched back meant her c******s was pinched between us as I pounded her. Smart girl. She wanted this.

“You're so beautiful.” I said breathlessly into her ear.

I f****d hard. Wet sounds filled my apartment followed by a deep moan from her every few seconds. I realised I was moaning too. I felt like I couldn't be deep enough, but I knew I was filling her completely and it probably hurt as I pounded against her cervix. I lifted myself on one arm to see her face while the other kept its strong hold on her throat. She was helpless underneath my body. All she could do was to grind her c**t against me while I f****d. Her head was tilted back, her eyes were closed and the soft screams that escaped her opened mouth took my breath away. I squeezed my fingers slightly but she just took a deeper breath.

She was perfect. This girl beneath me, taking my d**k and loving it. Her p***y gripped my c**k tighter and tighter and then she screamed. Her chest heaved up and down as she came and clenched around me. I saw her fingertips dig into the floor. I bent down and pushed my mouth against hers and she gasped for air, riding the contractions of her climax around my c**k. 

“That's my w***e. Lucy, you are my whore.” I spoke into her open mouth and she breathed in my words. “You're mine now, okay? You're mine. You're mine.” I f****d more frantically and she gasped in pain as she came down from her orgasm.

My fingers were tight around her throat, my mouth hovering over hers. “Tell me you want me to c*m inside you.” My lower belly was aching. I needed release. But only if she let me. “Tell me Lucy.”

Her arms wrapped around my neck and she darted her tongue into my mouth. “c*m in me. c*m for me!” She cried out.

I shouted into her shoulder as I poured into her. My c*m coated every part of her inside as I pumped and pumped. She still clenched around me and it milked my c**k dry.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” I whispered into her shoulder. I slowed down my thrusting and collapsed on top of her. I felt as if the life had been drained from me. I slowly rolled onto my back, sighing as I felt my softening c**k pull from her p***y.

We were both breathing hard. I glanced over and her eyes were squeezed shut. She was panting but…she was smiling. She was f*****g smiling.

My fingers had left red marks across her throat. I hoped it wouldn't bruise.

Her head rolled over to face me. A blush spread across her face. Her soft hand rested on my chest. She was so f*****g beautiful.

I had to take a deep breath to restart my heart. She saw the look on my face and laughed loudly. I laughed too. And then she was rolling over and resting her head on my chest, her hair tickled my shoulder. 

“Why do you call me your w***e?” She asked softly.

“I don't know.” I trailed my fingers down her back.

She was silent. Did I f**k this up? I definitely f****d this up. But she was here. She came back and she was in my arms.

“I love Adam.” It came out just a whisper but rang through my ears like a drum.

“I know.” I didn't move. Is she going to leave now?

She was very quiet, just breathing slowly. Does she feel as guilty as I do right now?

“Let's, uh, let's get up.” The floor was cold and hard underneath my back. “Are you cold?”

“Are we going to make small talk now?” She looked up to frown at me. 

“You need to shower if you're going back to him.” My words came out hard and cold. She didn't react. She just stared into my eyes like she has done for years. But now, everything was different.

“I will always go back to him.”

“Then why did you come here?” I snapped. She flinched slightly against my chest but didn't move.

“Would you prefer that I didn't?” She asked softly.

Fucking Lucy. Always trying to get the upper hand.

I grabbed a fistful of her hair and kissed the top of her head and sat up abruptly. She frowned.

“Why do you look so confused?” I asked as I stood.

“Because you're not answering any of my questions!” Her mouth formed a perfect pout and it annoyed me. How could I hate but love those lips of hers so much?

“You're trying to mind f**k me and it won't work. Stick to the physical, girl.”

“What am I doing wrong?” She asked petulantly.

Wrong? You're here. That's what wrong. Sitting there, a freshly f****d glow on your face, telling me how much you love another man and asking me to explain why I'm the f****d up one?

“Nothing.” Was all I could say.

She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. I held out my hand and she stood up. I hugged her towards me, our naked bodies pressing together. It felt perfect. But it wasn't. The guilt was creeping up on me and I was starting to feel very tired. 

“Will you come back?” I asked, smelling the top of her hair.

“I don't know.” She nuzzled her nose against me and kissed my chest. “I need to make sense of...this.”

“Don't tell him.” The words tumbled out of my mouth and I squeezed her harder so she wouldn't look up into my face. “Come back tomorrow.”

She didn't say anything, just kissed my chest again.

*********