Lucy

Chapter One - Mistakes

Lucy - The Present

It had been 2 years since I had last seen him. 2 years that felt a lot more like 20 years. Yet still, 2 years too soon.

He was seated in the restaurant of the 5 star Figurine Hotel. He looked magnificent, as usual, and was staring into the eyes of an equally magnificent woman. She laughed at something he said and ran a perfectly manicured hand over his chest before leaning down and kissing him on the neck. He just smiled. He simply just smiled that evil smile - that smile that seemed to know the secrets of the universe and everyone around him. He could get whatever he wanted with that smile, and coupled with those dark brown eyes that always seemed so unnecessarily angry made Jeremy Knox a force to be reckoned with. His mouth was in a slight pout as he rubbed his stubbled chin against the hair of the woman next to him. Her hair was a deep red and tumbled down her shoulders in loose waves. She had on a red strapless dress that hardly covered her perfect breasts. Her cleavage jiggled when she laughed at him. There wasn't a man in the room that wasn't staring at her. But she stared at him. 

And him? Well, he looked wherever the f**k he wanted to. And now he was looking at me.

My heart jumped into my throat and my breath left me. 

Fuck f**k f**k. I thought.

I couldn't leave now. He saw me. He saw me looking.

His eyes narrowed into slits. He looked angry at first, and then amused. Yep, that asshole was smiling even wider now. 

I need to leave. I need to go. All I could think of was getting out. But he was coming this way. He slowly sat up with the glass of whiskey in his hand. He took a slow last sip before setting it down on the table. His eyes never left me. I could feel them burning into me. The woman next to him was looking up in confusion as he stood. She followed his gaze and her eyes rested on me too. A fleeting look of worry crossed her face. Then she smiled and settled back into the black leather couch.

In a breath he was by my side. I was sitting at the bar with a cold beer in my hand. I had to put it down in case my trembling hands spilled it. I folded my hands on my lap so that he wouldn't see. I couldn't let him see what he did to me. Not again.

God, he smelled good. His thick brown hair was slightly dishevelled and his tie was slightly loosened. There was a slight red lipstick stain on his neck, no doubt from the lovely woman across the room. His tailored shirt and suit pants fit around his muscular body like a glove. I knew that underneath that suit his body was perfect. He was still grinning like a madman. His eyes were locked into mine and I refused to be the first to look away.

“Lucy.” The way my name rolled off his tongue made me cringe. I didn't think I would ever hear that gravelled voice again. He was suddenly too close. He moved into my space and even sitting on the bar stool I felt him towering over me. 

“Jeremy. Hi.” I said softly.

He moved in too close and I froze. He stopped just inches from my mouth. His eyes were on fire. If it wasn't for his smile I would think he was angry. He moved his head slightly to the left and kissed me so softly on the cheek. He had never been gentle with me before. I didn't even know it was possible. My heart was hammering in my chest and my body felt rigid. He noticed my coldness and with a small shrug of his shoulders let out a short laugh. He pulled his head away slowly and his nose brushed my cheek.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked.

I glanced past him at the woman he was with. She was drinking a glass of wine, still looking this way. She was no longer smiling.

“I'm expecting company.” my voice sounded so pathetic. Even with anger and fear welling inside me, I sounded pathetic.

He stared into my eyes. They darted slightly as he searched into my soul as only he could. With just one look he was pushing past my defences, opening doors, digging for the truth. If I was lying he would have known in an instant. But I wasn't. So I was safe. He stepped back slightly when he realised I was telling the truth. I knew what was coming next. He was going to try to convince me.

“It’s so good seeing you again.” He said slowly. “You look beautiful.”

There was a flutter in my chest as his words rang through my head. It felt like everyone was staring. I suddenly became very self conscious and looked away. I lost. He won and he knew it. I couldn't handle the fierceness in his eyes. He let out another quick chuckle. He turned to the bartender and ordered another whiskey. The bartender moved swiftly and set another double shot of whiskey on the wooden bar in front of him. Jeremy downed it in one go. He never took his eyes off me. The bartender poured him another.

“So what are you doing out here?”

He was trying to make small talk. Seriously. f*****g small talk? Anger welled inside me. The nerve of this asshole. Before I could tell him I did not want to talk the woman appeared alongside him and snaked her petite arm around his waist. He didn't move even as she tried his best to lean on to him.

“A friend of yours babe?” She asked gently.

“Yes. This is Lucy. Lucy this is Eva.” Jeremy replied coolly.

Eva reached out her hand and I shook it blindly. She was smiling warmly now as if genuinely happy to meet me. For some reason I felt guilty. He was still staring. But no longer smiling.

“We're old friends” he said automatically, anticipating Eva asking.

She nodded slowly. “Well it's very nice to meet you Lucy. Would you like to join us for dinner?”

I must have looked shocked because he suddenly started smiling again. He just loved seeing me upset.

As she flicked her hair over her shoulders I saw the bruise. Just under her collarbone there were two small blue marks. His finger tips. He has very strong fingers. I wondered what the circumstances were around that bruise. Had she made him angry? Was it one of his many 1 am nightmares? Or was it the result of his hands around her neck as he pressed her against the wall while f*****g her? I felt slightly nauseous at that thought.

“Lucy has plans.” He answered for me. He was smiling but his eyes looked angry. “Maybe next time?”

********

Lucy - The Past

“This place f*****g smells Jeremy. What the f**k? When did you start smoking again?”

He was leaning against the door frame of his bedroom when I barged in through the kitchen. He seemed to have forgotten I knew where the spare key was. His white shirt was slightly unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had a glass of whiskey and ice in his hand and a cigarette in the other. He took a long slow drag in defiance and flicked the still burning butt at me. I quickly stood on it to put it out. 

“What the f**k is wrong with you?” I said a little too loudly. My fists curled in anger.

He had the nerve to laugh and stumbled towards me. “I'm drunk, remember? I can't be responsible for my actions.” 

We had been at a party only an hour ago. At some stage he had gotten angry with someone, gotten into his car in a fit of rage, driven his car over his best friend's bike, hit a pole and sped away for no f*****g reason. We were all having fun and he suddenly flipped out and stormed away. 

“Adam is really pissed off. You wrecked the bike. He has taken it into the shop. I said I'd come find you. Everyone is worried.” I said angrily.

“What, I can't have a little fun?” Jeremy asked softly.

He took another step towards me. For some reason I felt slightly panicked. His eyes were darker than I had ever seen them. He was always moody, that I knew. But not like this. Never this...angry.

I didn't know what to say. He just let out a small laugh. Then silence fell over us as his brown eyes searched my face. His expression changed as his eyes lowered over my body. I felt almost naked and folded my arms. He noticed this and slowly looked back into my eyes. Another smile and he turned away to refill his glass. I stepped forward to grab the whiskey bottle off the kitchen counter before he could. I grabbed the bottle but he responded by grabbing my arm. I winced as he squeezed my forearm.

“Let. It. Go.” He hissed at me.

“No!” I spat back. “I don't know why you're doing this. Just stop!”

In just a few seconds rage filled his eyes and he reached up with his right arm and slapped me in the face. It threw me completely off balance and I fell to the floor in an undignified slump. My cheek stung as tears filled my eyes.

He just laughed. He stared at me and laughed. As I had fallen down he had grabbed the whiskey bottle from my hand. He now took a long slow chug straight from the bottle as I tried to compose myself.

“What the f**k Jeremy!” I said through tears as I tried to stand up. 

“Wasn't that hard, baby.” He turned his back to me and walked towards the door. He slowly closed it and locked the door. 

Is he locking me inside? I thought.

I suddenly felt scared and took a few breaths. Okay. He is my friend. He is just drunk. He is my friend. He must be upset about something. Everything is okay.

I slowly stood up. “Adam...Adam is worried about you.”

“Ah, yes. Adam. The great and wonderful Adam. The be-all and end-all of your universe. Should he be the same for me too?” Jeremy muttered sarcastically, turning back to face me.

“I don't understand.” I was suddenly very confused. 

He took a very slow and deliberate step towards me. I took another back. He seemed angered by this and closed the space between us quickly. He moved like a lion. I felt like his prey. This was all wrong. I needed to leave. I stepped back but he continued moving into my space.

“He loves you. You love him. He's your moon and stars. A heroin junkie that beats you but somehow remained your one and only.”

I cringed. Now he had me pinned against the fridge. It was cold against my back. I was wearing a short summer dress with spaghetti straps. We were in a heat wave. I thought it a good idea this morning and now I just felt naked.

His strong arms were on either side of my head and his eyes searched mine. I didn't recognize him. He looked so wrong. So...evil. His hair was ruffled and messy. He stank of cigarettes and whiskey. His breath was all over me, making it hard to breathe.

“That was a long time ago. Everything has changed. Everyone has changed”. I looked into his eyes, hoping he wouldn't see I was scared. “Come on Jer, let's go for a walk.”

My voice was gentle. I could bring him back from whatever dark place he was in right now. We just needed to get out of this apartment. He lived in a huge, open plan apartment that was so elegantly decorated with plush leather and dark mahogany furniture. Unique and very expensive paintings hung on the wall and his large flat screen TV was playing music in the background. Soft classical - his favorite. It seemed so contradicting right now. The softest, sweetest music as the background to his angry, violent mood.

He rested his head against my chest,his arms still pressed on either side of my head. I slowly bought my hand up and ran it gently through his hair.

“It's okay. It's okay. Tell me what's going on.”

My cheek still stung from his slap as he slowly lifted his head.

Good God, he was still smiling. 

“What's going on is how bad I want to f**k you right now.”

Suddenly his lips were on mine. His tongue invaded my mouth and his strong hands were on either side of my face, guiding me towards him. He pushed his body against mine and I was now pinned against him and the fridge while his hands held my head still as his soft lips pushed against me. I squeezed my mouth shut but he was strong. His thumbs found their way over my chin to my bottom lip and he roughly pulled it open and pressed his tongue against my bottom teeth.

My heart was hammering in my chest. How could he do this to me? My boyfriend's best friend was forcing himself onto me. My friend was hurting me. I felt tears roll down my cheek. I considered biting him but the truth is I didn't want to hurt him.

He is just drunk. I thought. He is just drunk and doesn't know what he is doing. 

He kissed his way over my cheek. I felt his tongue dart out and lick a lone tear and then his lips were on my neck. His stubble roughly rubbed against my skin. His teeth were against my ear lobe.

“Suck my dick.” He whispered.

“No!” I screamed angrily and I pushed against him with all my strength. I had to get out. Now.

He stumbled sideways, surprised. I took my chance and lunged past him. I made it to the kitchen door and desperately fumbled with the lock. The f*****g key was missing. In a second Jeremy was against my back, pushing me face first against the apartment door. Just next to my face was the key. He held it tightly in his fist.

“Is this what you want, huh?” He slowly ran the key over my shoulder and down my back. Goosebumps popped out under every spot he touched. He licked the back of my neck as he slowly rolled the key down my back. 

I let out a sob of frustration as he pushed his entire weight against my body. I felt his erection against my back. How was this even possible?

“Jeremy. It's okay. Just please let me go. I won't tell anybody. You're just drunk right now.”

He laughed condescendingly. “I can f**k for hours when I'm drunk.”

That's it. There was no going back. He had officially lost his mind. 

I let out a scream to try and attract attention. If anybody could hear me they would come and help. Then I could just get back to Adam. He would help. He would make this better.

Jeremy's hand clamped down over my mouth and he bit into my shoulder. I moaned in pain against his hand and tried to bite him back but his hands were too thick and strong against my face.

“Baby, don't scream...yet.” He whispered.

In one swift move he was dragging me backwards. He held me so tightly I felt as if I was going to pass out. I kicked and writhed as much as I could. But those hours he spent sparring with Adam in the gym served him well. He was very, very strong. And very fast. He seemed to anticipate every kick and every punch as he dragged me to the bedroom. He slammed the door closed behind us.

“Okay you can scream all you want now.” He said as he threw me to the floor. I landed straight on my ass and wiggled backwards. “Why do you think I live on the top floor? This room is perfect, nice and sound proof. No one will hear us here. You can scream and scream and scream. It just makes me...harder.”

I looked down at the floor as tears rolled down my face and fell over my neck. I smelled smoke. He was lighting another cigarette. He just stared at me with those dark, angry eyes. I could see his erection pressing against his pants. It was a huge bulge. He saw me looking and smiled.

I tried to compose myself and sat up straight.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, trying to stifle a sob.

The smile left his face. He took a deep slow drag and stared at me.

“Because I love you.”

****