IVORY: The age of Gloarian

Chapter 22

    It had been a long night for Eiva, one that took a complete turn she most certainly hadn’t expected to take. Laying in the comfortable arms of Razaar for a last night was all she could embrace as she thought of just how much she would miss the place immensely. It was a decision that certainly wasn’t easy to make, yet she knew it was of essence. She knew if she stayed in his presence any longer she would get attached, addicted even. That was a luxury she couldn't afford as she ran through her plan once more in her head. Darkness had brought many vivid memories to her, such as her first times with Razaar, his proposal, even bits and pieces of times she shared with her true mate before his demise. It was news she had yet to break to her parents, along with the fact that Razaar and Eliana were actually mates, though she intended on communicating that part with them in the note she would leave for them. She knew the note that would hurt most to write would be the one left to her proclaimed mate, who had done so much for her, that it broke her entirely to have to write it to begin with. 

    Knowing she had a lot to do in the day ahead of her, the woman rolled out of the embrace of her partner, and walked up to the desk that had been untouched since the beginning of time, finally putting the thing to use as she found a piece of parchment, and began the task of letter writing. 

    She kept glancing back at Razaar to ensure he remained asleep as she did so, wanting to be gone before he woke up. With a heavy heart, the woman began writing, first to her parents. 

Mum and Dad,

I still remember the day my eyes had fallen upon Yoret’s, my true mate, and I recalled the words Dad had used to describe the way he felt every time he looked at Mum: breathless. I think back to the moment when my eyes joined his, and I felt myself float into breathlessness upon his arrival. I may not have had much time with him, but I remember each and every moment between us as though it was yesterday. 

Razaar made my life bearable after his passing, and despite the love I have for him, I know it will never be enough, for we are not true mates. Razaar has found his true mate: Eliana Genova, leader of the Hybrids, and rejected her seven years ago, before taking me in. 

Despite his reasons I believe that my getting in the way would do no good, and I simply cannot go against the order of the flame, and so, I am leaving pack lands. Living on these grounds would bring back the pain and memories connected so fondly on the soil of this territory, and I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle another episode of that. For that reason, I am fleeing the pack, and never looking back. I will find shelter, and make my way to a place that will hopefully accept me and take me in as their own. When I do, I promise to write back and keep in touch, but for now, I bid you both farewell in pursuit of a better life for me. It’s something that I should have done a long time ago, something I’m brave enough to finally do. 

All I can say is that I thank you both for every single thing you have done for me in life, starting with bringing me into this world. Despite the hardships, this life has been worth living, and I’m going to make you proud by being better, happier. I couldn’t have asked for a better support system, I love you both so much, and I know I will see you again one day. 

Don’t be hard on Razaar, and support him always. 

Your daughter,

Eiva Matouk

    Tears had certainly welled up in the eyes of the sensitive woman who felt her heart aching at the mere thought of leaving without saying goodbye to her parents. She didn't, however, allow her tears to fall as she quickly proceeded to script the next letter out before her departure. 

Razaar, 

You have been the biggest blessing of my life. You saved me when I was about to die, and picked me up time and time again, placing me on a pedestal that I didn’t deserve below my feet. I know this is going to be hard to hear, but I have to leave, my love. I cannot let you ruin your life and reject your true mate for me, no matter how much you think you love me. Somewhere deep in your heart is a core, and that core already belongs to Eliana, it’s just a matter of time before you fall into acceptance, and give away to Eliana the rest of your heart, as I did to my dear fallen mate. As much as I love you I know the power of mating, and I can’t be the reason you and Eliana do not have the experiences that I couldn’t with my own mate due to unforeseen circumstances. 

You are a stubborn man, hell bent on the things you believe are right, but this you are wrong about. Eliana is one of a kind, she’s brave, beautiful, kind, and everything you want in a leader. Don’t reject her out of fear of turning out to be like your father, because I can tell you by experience you are not. Don’t give up the opportunity to make that woman happy because she deserves it after all that she has been through. Give her a chance Razaar, give yourself a chance. Prove yourself wrong and love that woman like you are meant to love her. 

I wish I could stay and watch the evolution of this pack, your leadership, and my best friend’s relationship, but I know if I stayed I would never have the courage to leave you or do the right thing. Yesterday’s episode was just an example of what could happen long term had I decided to stay, but I’m happier this way. I’ve been locked behind this cage of a facade for too long and it’s high time I take my leave and explore what the flame has in store for me. 

I am leaving with a heavy heart, but will one day return when the time is right. I know the pack might have a hard time adjusting to the truth, but I know they will come to love Eliana like I have, and admire the bravery of such a fierce woman. In the meantime I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I know words can’t ever repay you, but I hope that my advice to embrace your mate will do enough. You will always have a special place in my heart, and I will always love you Razaar. 

Your proclaimed mate,

Eiva

    It didn’t take long before the tears that for so long had held themselves in the creases of her eyes had finally decided to dip, streaming rapidly down her face as she rolled up the scrolls neatly and placed Razaar’s on his table. It hadn’t taken her long to change into a fresh pair of garments and grab the backpack she had kept in case of emergencies, with all the necessities she would need whilst travelling. 

    With one final glance at Razaar, she collected the scroll that belonged to her parents, and walked out of the pack house, through the back door, to avoid running into any other pack member. It had been way too early in the morning for anyone else to be awake, which had facilitated the woman’s journey as she quickly dropped off the final scroll outside her parent’s door, and proceeded to take the same route that a day ago Eliana and Demillo had taken towards Hybrid territory.

    Despite the excitement that sparked within the woman at the upcoming opportunity, Eiva knew that there was one final stop she needed to make before she approached her freedom for the rest of her life. 

    Hybrid territory neared her vision, and despite the surprise in their eyes, the guards allowed the woman into their lands without a single question. It was an act that the woman had been grateful for as she journeyed silently towards the cottage where she knew Eliana would be in. As expected, when the door flew open, a groggy and sleepy leader came into vision, and after a moment of thinking she was hallucinating, the Hybrid leader decided to speak. 

    ‘Eiva, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with Razaar’ she stated in utter confusion. Eiva laughed, and found herself tasting her freedom already as she boldly stepped into the house of the leader before she could invite her in. 

    Walking towards the sofa that had been a mere meter or two away, she patted the seat next to her, no doubt confounding Eliana more as she shut the door and followed the instructions of the woman. 

    ‘I need to talk to you about something’ she began, elongating the silence that continued. 

    ‘At this hour? Couldn’t you have written a letter? Eiva it’s not safe for you to be-’

    ‘I’m leaving Razaar’ she interrupted, pushing more doubts into the head of the leader, who frankly, was too exhausted to want to deal with any drama at the moment. 

    ‘I’m sorry, what? Eiva, please-’

    ‘I know this sounds ridiculous, just hear me out’ she cut in once again, blowing the mind of a woman who couldn’t fathom the sudden bravery of someone so sweet, so innocent, so fragile. Her state of shock had allowed her to remain quiet as Eiva continued. ‘I know that you and Razaar have your differences about being mates and the flame and whatever else, but I can’t be pushed into being with someone that shouldn’t be mine to begin with. All this time, I have been thinking that I love Razaar, but I haven’t been with him because I love him, I’ve been with him because I’m scared of being alone, because I’m scared of what will happen to me if I don’t have a significant other. It’s the trauma of having a dead mate, but I can’t let it dictate my life any more Eliana. I’m coming in the way of a relationship, when I should be exploring my own self on my own will. I have a whole life ahead of me that I want to be able to enjoy, even without my mate, and I can’t do that if I hide in the shadows of Razaar, or lead a pack that doesn’t need my authority. I have so much to discover about myself, stuff that I’ve suppressed since the minute my mate died, but stuff that is important to shed light on before it’s too late. What I’m trying to say is that my reasons for leaving are more to do with me than it is to do with you and Razaar. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about either of you. I think for so long in my presence the both of you have struggled to come together because somewhere in your minds the concern of what would happen to me has been a prominent block. But now that I’m going away, I want you to try and make it work with him’ Eliana opened her mouth to object against the suggestion that had been made, though was silenced when Eiva lifted up her finger to carry on ‘I know that you don’t want to and that you have your own differences, but take it from someone whose lost a mate, no one on Zaleon is going to make you ever feel that way, not your nightly companions or proclaimed mates, only the two of you can spark within you a fire that will be unstoppable if you let it be. I’ve spent enough time around both of you to know that you’re perfect for each other in more ways than you could ever imagine, but for some reason both of you are dumb enough to ignore that fact and willingly put yourself in misery when you could be enjoying the gift of the flame. Like I said, I can’t force it, but don’t be stupid Eliana, you’re such an amazing woman, don’t fail in this aspect of your life and push that man away. He’s more of an i***t than you are, and that’s why I’m talking to you about it than him. Think about it, embrace what is meant to be yours. Or at least try?’ she completed, holding the woman’s hands in her own passionately. A now very much wide awake Eliana, thought deeply about the words of Eiva, and hid the tone of surprise before she responded. 

    ‘Eiva, I understand where you’re coming from. I’m ecstatic that you want to build yourself up from the bottom, and I support you on that journey. But Razaar, he’s a broken man, someone I can’t fix even if I tried. His problems are his own and I can’t-’

    ‘Yes you can!’ exclaimed the exuberant Eiva, making Eliana flinch back at the amusement. ‘You say that but he’s your mate, of course you can fix him. Eliana, have you ever kissed Razaar?’ she questioned. The Hybrid leader’s eyes widened at her question as she sat back completely and utterly flabbergasted. 

    ‘Absolutely not’ stated Eliana, as if it were an insult to even ask. 

    ‘Exactly, how can you be so sure that you can’t fix him when you haven’t even tried. The mate bond is the strongest force in all of Zaleon. It’s what makes us different to humans, it makes us special, that despite having the ability to shift, we also have mate’s. Think about it, that man, as terrifying and possessive as he may be, is meant for you, he is yours. You haven’t had any experience with him, and yet you sit here complaining that he’s broken beyond repair. Give it a go, kiss him, touch him, experience him, and then tell me you can’t fix him. There won’t be anything to fix, trust me, just don’t give up on him’ she commented, looking deep into the eyes of a woman who once intimidated her to the core. 

    Eliana had been silenced as she found no words to counter those that Eiva had uttered, and whether she liked it or not, the Hybrid leader found herself in a pit of confusion as the thoughts fell right on top of her. Should she give Razaar another go? Was Eiva right? Or should she stick to her original plan? Most importantly, what had gotten into Eiva to make her so brave for the first time? It was a conversation like no other for the two women, and one that had taken both by surprise, yet shook both to the core. 

    ‘Your silence is telling me that I’ve convinced you’ she smirked, elevating abruptly from where she was seated a mere minute ago. Eliana followed, now curious as to where the woman was headed. 

    ‘Where are you going?’ she asked, watching the woman’s orbs glow with excitement. 

    ‘I don’t know yet, I’ll find out when I get there’ she responded, starting to walk towards the door that Eliana rushed to in panic. 

    ‘Eiva, you can’t just leave like that, what about Razaar-’

    ‘I’ve left him a note to explain everything. As for Balthazar, I don’t think he’ll be looking for me any time soon now that he knows you exist’ she completed nonchalantly. 

    ‘At least have lunch with me’ persuaded Eliana, lying to get a moment to rush and write to the Alpha that was no doubt going crazy at the absence of his proclaimed mate. The note had brought him no solace whatsoever, and he intended on finding her and making things right. He knew that it was far too late to do so, but having to face the reality of his situation: that he had no one but Eliana now, was harder to digest than searching for someone who clearly didn’t want to be found. 

    Catching on to Eliana’s lie, Eiva decided to play along, knowing full well by doing so she would achieve a much swifter escape. She nodded at the request, and proceeded to take off her backpack, and made herself comfortable to commence the process. 

    ‘Just give me a minute to get Dennis, don’t go anywhere’ she requested, believing the lie that Eiva had fed her, and rushing off to send word out to Razaar Solonov. This however, was not the Eiva of always, and as soon as the door closed behind Eliana, the woman found herself gathering her backpack once more, and in extreme silence, she made her way towards the back of the community, passing the guards with respect as she ventured off into the woods, not knowing where she was headed. The one thing she did know that the roads heading towards Werewolf, Hybrid and Lycan territory had been completely blocked off her mind, and she wandered around for the longest time, enjoying the breath of fresh air and connection to nature that would allow her to connect to her innermost desires and be the best version of herself yet. 

    As Eliana dashed back to her cottage, she panicked, noticing the absence of the woman who had never before lied to the leader in all the time she had known her. The surprise had hit her like all her prior words, and she found herself pacing around, knowing the splashback from her mate would not be a pretty one. She only hoped that he would understand, and work with her rather than against her. 

    In the time that Razaar took to arrive her lands, certain things had become clear to Eliana: the first was that Eiva was no longer the fragile flower that she had portrayed herself to be since the beginning of time. The flower had now begun morphing into something that neither Razaar or his mate could recognise. The second was that Eiva was genuinely ok with leaving Razaar and Eliana to be together, and therefore that could no longer be used as an excuse for the pair that had been pushing each other away for so long. Thoughts floated around her head as she wondered exactly what would happen when her mate would arrive, though the bigger doubt that consumed her was that of her own relationships status. Somehow the woman kept circling round the edges of taken and single, and had been worn out by the complexity of the journey she was on. She wondered if Razaar and her could work, or better yet, should work, and asked herself the same question that Eiva had not too long ago: would she give in and finally accept her mate? As much as he didn’t deserve to have her, Eliana knew she agreed with the fact that she couldn’t go against the order of the flame. It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried, it was that so far she had been proved wrong in her own theories and had been incapable of being away from her mate. No matter how hard she tried, the flame had somehow dragged her so deep into the pit of her own rebellion that the pair now sat isolated in an empty hole with no one but themselves to deal with. 

    By accepting Razaar’s deal, Eliana had unwittingly dug the ditch that her and her mate were currently stuck in, and the only way out was to accept each other, for the flame wouldn’t have it any other way. 

    Nervousness and panic had clearly settled within the leader as the time neared for her mate’s arrival, and she found herself rehearsing the words to say to him upon his arrival. She felt like a shy teenager who was about to confess her feelings to her crush, and hated that for once she couldn’t keep it together. Razaar and her had certainly had their rough patches, though knowing that the not so fragile Eiva had set their confrontation up by pleading to the both to accept each other had only made things more strange as the time approached for the interaction. Up until that moment, Eliana had cared and adored the woman, though now found herself cursing Eiva for sticking her in the situation she was in. With Balthazar around, she knew it wouldn’t take long for the careless woman to get caught, and she knew that if anything happened to the defenseless woman, it would all live within the conscious of the leader forever, who had enough things to worry about.

    It hadn’t taken long for the door to her cottage to be banged open as an angry Alpha stormed inside, his eyes wide with rage as he looked at his true mate. 

    ‘Where is Eiva?’