One day

Chapter 14

I'm Sen, one day Lilith tried to talk to me.

I didn't expect her to be so troublesome. Normally, I would only see her say hello to my parents once or twice, but now she's constantly talking, giving me a headache.

It's nighttime, but it's not early for to her can say so much.

I got up and went to put on my headphones, set it to turn off automatically while I slept, and continued to ignore Lilith. Although this solution is not very quiet, it is still better than listening to her rambling.

When my friend said we had a test in class today, I was stunned for a moment before I remembered that I hadn't studied. I originally set an alarm to wake up early to study notes, but when the alarm went off I thought the music was faulty and turned it off, so I don't study old lessons.

As a result, I didn't do well on the test.

Returning home in a sad mood I saw Lilith sitting at my study desk again, it made me really angry. But maybe because I didn't show it, Lilith didn't realize it, she was still joking with me.

I pulled her out of my desk and hurriedly put all my things away, when I finished cleaning up I couldn't take it anymore and scolded her.

"Don't bother me anymore, you bastard!"

My mother heard the noise and ran up to my room when she saw me angrily putting away my things, she asked: "What's wrong with you two?"

Lilith said: "I just borrowed Sen's pen for a bit, but she exaggerates like that."

Hearing that, my mother began to grumble at me: “Why are you so angry over this little thing? By the way, lately I find you a bit stubborn, fix your personality or it will become a habit, if you can't fix it, I will tell your father to let you go back to learning how to behave."

I kept my head down and did my thing, pretending I didn't hear what she said. My mother also felt depressed so she ignored me, and continue to make lunch. As for Lilith, as soon as my mother turned her face away she began to smile, clearly trying to irritate me.

Oh, how much longer I have to stay with her.

Does she want to be autistic in my room like that? At least she has to go out for a walk or get up and do something useful, she's malnourished but not disabled, even the simplest things she doesn't do.

Furthermore, Lilith is extremely annoying, I feel like she has opposing intentions towards me.

One day I decided to do my best to explain to my mother, that I couldn't live with Lilith anymore because she bothered me a lot while I was studying. Against my will, my mother thinks I'm lying and I just want to get rid of Lilith.

She said I was selfish.

Could the real selfish person here be me? I simply want to be quiet in my own space and be called selfish? Meanwhile, Lilith doesn't do anything for my family, she stays here, then bothers me again, so if I want to chase her away, am I selfish?

Mom, if you don't understand then I will never tell you again.

I thought I was reaching the limit, so I hid everyone to go to the psychiatric clinic alone. There the doctor asked for my contact information and I gave fake information, to prevent my parents from knowing that I came here on my own, this was necessary.

As of now, I can hardly trust anyone, I cannot be sure that the doctor will not contact my family.

As for the treatment, I don't think I need it because I just believe in myself, believe that I can find a solution. I'm just going there to find the cause.

The psychiatric clinic I went to was in the next town, so I had to miss school one morning and take the bus there. This is my first time going to another strange place alone, so I plan to prepare a lot of things like a phone and phone charger, etc, but maybe it's not necessary.

The only thing needed in this place is money, only money can pay for my medical examination. But I didn't bring enough money, now going back is too time consuming, I think I should sell something.

But I don't know the road here, so I don't know where the pawnshop is.

When I reach this country, I have run out of ways, maybe I must go back without getting anything. Just in time to get discouraged, I caught sight of James on the street, his expression so hasty that I couldn't call him back. And he was on the phone.

Well, he's busy anyway, I shouldn't bother. It's just that when I was about to leave when I accidentally saw James entering the hospital, I immediately thought that Sana might be in there, I don't know why I thought that.

Maybe because James always mentioned Sana, the only person who made him worried like that was probably her.

Although I knew it was not good to follow others, I still couldn't contain my curiosity and followed James into the hospital, then went to a hospital room on the third floor. 

In fact, I really wanted to go inside to see if Sana was in, but afraid James would find out I was spying on him, I chose to go back.

When the time is right I will come back here.

“Where did you go this morning?” As soon as Lilith saw me at home, she asked.

I raise my bag to indicate that I went to school this morning, but she said, “You skipped school today to go to the hospital in the nearby town.”

Seeing my surprise, she didn't hesitate to say: "I put a tracking device in your bag, I know where you go."

I rummaged through my bag and couldn't find the tracker she was talking about, and by the time I emptied my bag, it still wasn't there, so I assumed she was cheating on me.

Lilith said again, "Actually, I put it on your phone."

I calmly picked up the phone to check, there is indeed a device as thin as a sim clipped behind the phone case. I took it out and broke it, everything over. Even if Lilith tries to tell my parents that I'm truant, it's her business, I can't stop it.

“Why are you so boring? Neither angry nor talking, are you human? Or do you want to be an alien?”

Lilith didn't want to let go of me, she kept following me and babbling to make me angry and say something, but I'm used to this scene so I almost don't care about her anymore.

It's a bit lucky that Lilith didn't come out, otherwise, she would follow me everywhere. And I would go crazy.

It's also very magical to say it, although I haven't said anything for a week, no one has overdone it so. Except for Lilith, everyone thinks it's normal. 

It is true that only I can help myself, others can't do anything if they know.

But if it goes on like this, I'm afraid that in the future I won't really be able to talk to other people, so I still hope to be able to cure it soon.

The next day before I left the house, I checked all the things I was wearing, just in case, but unexpectedly I still found two other tracking devices in the pocket and the soles of my shoes.

I aggressively took the two navigation devices up to the room and threw them directly at Lilith's face. She is invading my privacy, if necessary I can sue her, but I know my current ability does not allow me to do that.

"What are you doing?!" Lilith exclaimed in surprise, obviously she didn't expect me to do that.

As usual, I ignored her and went to the psychiatric clinic. There the doctor didn't scold me but it was close like that, she seemed to think I was joking because I know my illness but still go to the doctor.

The psychiatrist patiently said, “Listen, you need to open up more to your family and friends, not come here and ask me to help you get better. Obviously you know what you need to do, but if you cross out those things, I can't advise you."

Right now I don't know if she is advising me or getting angry at me, but in the end, she still gives me some daily challenges, telling me if I can't do it, she will prescribe medication.

These challenges were bullshit in my eyes, but I hated taking medicine, so I considered doing them.

I need to go to the hospital first.

Not surprised when Sana is here, the only thing that is confusing is that she is injured in many places. When I arrived, the nurse was changing Sana's bandages, she was injured in her head and left arm, most likely there are other wounds as well.

Seeing her like that made me guess something.

“Sorry for dragging you into trouble.” This was the first thing I said when I saw her again.

Sana frowned confused, asked in return: "What sin do you have to apologize to me?"

I don't know what my fault was, but James said so, so blaming me is the only way to explain Sana's injuries. And right now, I really want to say that James has explained some things to me, Sana should accept my apology.

But my psychological barrier hasn't been lifted, so I can't talk too much with others. That's pretty bad, I could lose a friend just because my communication language is not good.

I didn't say a word, took the chair next to Sana's bed, and sit waiting for her to finish changing the medical gauze bandages. Sana sighed, tilted her head to the other side, making me wonder what her expression was like.

I guess I am annoying her. Because it's all the same, so she'll find me annoying too. But she is my last friend, even if she hates me, I will not care and continue to be friends with her.

Even in my house, I gradually lost respect from my parents, my parents forced me not to be angry with Lilith no matter what she did to me. Maybe Lilith was my parents' child, I felt guilty for thinking that way, but their biased treatment made me affirmative that.

I looked at my watch and realized I needed to go home, but it seemed odd when I only came here to say sorry to Sana, so I said one more sentence before leaving.

"I need to go now, I'll come to find you tomorrow."

Actually, I'd rather sit here than go home and be disturbed by Lilith.