writing camp + Awesomeness at my fingertips

Week 3: How to write the beginning?

CHAPTER ONE

Ian's POV

5th December 2021

It was way past midnight. Only the tapping sound on the keyboard was heard. I was so focused on my typing. Hugo Ad contract discussion was tomorrow, and everything must be perfect in place. I went through the presentation slides, checking errors for the n-th time. Gosh! There were so many things needed to be checked through. I looked through the designs again to see whether there was anything that needed to be perfected. I could feel my eyelids drooping heavily. I should go and get another cup of caffeine to keep myself going. Everything around the room seemed to be going in circles. I wondered why.

BAM!

Lightning flashed through the window. And what? I stared blankly at the black screen in front of me. I tapped vigorously on the keyboard. Nothing worked! I pulled out the plug, checked, and put it back. I turned the switch on and prayed really hard. Still, nothing worked. I knew then the worst had happened. There goes my one-month hard work down the drain. My boss would definitely kill me for this.

My mind was now spinning wildly to find ways to explain this to my boss. The presentation was tomorrow, and I had lost everything for the presentation. Cloud drive? I wished I had not been so stupid as to ignore what my boss had said about backing up. I was new to the job and so eager to get my first project off the ground.

"Ian, tomorrow is a very, very important day. Make sure you have got everything ready."

"Yes, sir."

"Be sure to back up all the files."

“Yes, sir.”

Another twenty minutes.

"Ian, have you got the proposal print out? We need at least ten copies."

"Not yet. I'll do it later."

"No, no....not later! Do it now!"

Sigh. Couldn't he see that I was trying to get my work done here? How could I do my work if he was going to order me doing this and that? However, he was still my boss. Whatever he said was always right and we, the staffs, just needed to follow his order to do things right.

I dragged my a*s all the way towards the photocopier machine. I wasted fifteen minutes trying to get the machine to work. Who's to blame here? We didn't have an office clerk specially for the photocopying job. I was a total i***t with the machines. Another ten minutes to find a new rim of papers and fill up the photocopier.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally got all the copies ready and stapled. I put them in a huge envelope on my table and continued where I left on my proposal. Another thirty minutes and all of a sudden...

"Ian! Have you forgotten to send Mr Andrew our quotation? We can't lose him this time."

I slumped back into my seat. As if I could hide myself, huh?

Mr Parker's voice could be heard in the whole office. I was still not used to his voice barking all the time, shooing people to get this and that done urgently and immediately. Maybe this was THE OFFICE LIFE, as people had always said. I should get used to it. I should. I should count my blessings for getting this job. I should try harder to keep my job.

I could still hear my boss nagging at me, if not twenty, maybe thirty times this morning. I felt so tired. Try working the whole week with only two to three hours sleep per day, you would get what I meant.

I was getting so annoyed at his nagging that I wanted to switch him off in a snap. Man, let me get some things done here. Time was running out for me to get ready for a perfect presentation.

I ignored him and continued my work in perfecting my design. It was not easy to come up with the idea. I had to submit drafts after drafts. After I submitted like about tens or twenties of drafts, finally my boss, that was Mr Parker, found one of the drafts somewhat likeable. I expanded my idea on that certain draft. I had been cracking my brain for weeks on this one. I was so, so confident that I would be able to nail down the project tomorrow. Hugo Ad would be impressed with my unique and profitable idea. Being partners with them would be no question after they listened to my proposal tomorrow.

Huh, it was useless now. Everything was useless. All had gone, just like that, in a puff.

What should I tell my boss tomorrow? Should I feign nervousness or sickness? Which would be more convincing? Maybe I should just bluff through the presentation tomorrow. After all, I had been doing the paperwork from A to Z. I covered my face in despair because deep down, I knew no excuse would work. At least not for my boss, a perfectionist with eagle's eyes. Every job should be perfect. Every staff should know his own place and do things right. No excuse was an excuse. That was what he told me the very first day I came to work in the company.

"Hi, Ian. I am Parker, Director of Designs Department. Welcome onboard."

I was overwhelmed with his warm welcome and greetings from my new colleagues. I shook hands with everyone quickly before they went back to their own stations. I thanked God a lot for this job. Two years of unemployment made me wonder how useless I could be.

"You know how things worked around here," Mr Parker continued his unfinished briefing.

"Everyone has his own job. You should know where not to cross the lines of each other's job. Things should be done right. If things are not right, then you should make it right. Zero error is allowed here. Always put that in your mind. Top priority other than anything else."

I nodded to show that I understood what he meant. Getting the job as a designer was not easy and I really appreciated this chance, even though it was just a lucky chance.

The day I came to this company for my job interview, it was my fifth interview on that day and the fortieth in that week. I was totally energy drained, having skipped my lunch just to wait in line for the interview. I stuffed a cereal bar into my mouth and munched it quickly before I gobbled it down. I knew that I could not waste my time doing anything else. Job hunting for two years after graduating as a Master's Degree holder made it clear enough that experience was what they needed when you got older. Without helpful experience on the field, job seekers were just useless on the field. At least, that was what they presumed. I had been to numerous job interviews for designers. I liked designing. I studied design. I wished to be a graphic designer. Lady Luck was not with me so far. So, I had been to other job interviews which involves secretarial work, clerical work, and some other odd jobs that I didn't exactly know what the job was about. I just applied for almost every job opportunity that I saw and went for interviews. I just hoped for a job.

I looked around. There were young men and women, much younger than me. They were all dressed up smart in proper suits like me. Many were fresh graduates from prestigious colleges and universities, I guessed. I calculated my odds on this job. I was older, much older but I calculated my odds on this job. I had better qualifications than most of the interviewers here, I guessed. I needed to hold tightly on this thin rope of chance.

"Number 48, Ian Stuart. Please come in."

Awaken from my reverie, I quickly followed with my resume and files.

Inside the interview room, there were three of them sitting in a row of desks. One of them was busy filling up the papers, another clicking his pen and the third one looking straight at me. I felt my adrenaline rush. Oh no! Not now. No weak knees now, please. I needed this job badly.

"Hi, Mr Ian. Please take a seat," he paused to reach over and take my files. He quickly flipped through and looked at my details.

"I see that you graduated from California State University."

"Yes, sir."

"Say, there's a jewel brand that needs advertising graphic. What would you suggest?"

Wow, that was fast and straight. I took a deep breath and started to organise my thoughts. I could do this, I told myself. I had read about Jewels in one of the business magazines before. I gave a quick analysis of the jewel brand and its targeted customers. Then, I gave a brief but comprehensive, simple yet elegant design idea for the possible advertisement.

It was a simple interview question. I had done this type of idea pitching countless time during my time at the university. And my idea had always won our team free lunches from our profs. This time, it won me a job. I was so happy that I called Mum and Dad immediately. They were glad that I finally got a job. They asked me to go back the coming weekend for celebration. Of course, I could not reject them. Both of them had been so worried about me for so long. After all, I had to get some new suits too. Impression was important on the first day of job, they said. That weekend, when I went back home, Mum and Dad had prepared a lot of stuffs for me. They said I need this and that. I could feel how much they cared for me and worried about me. I vowed to treat them nicely with my first pay. I should do so. After all, they had been looking after me even after I graduated and even when I got my first job.

Dad had told me, "You have good looks, son. You will make a good first impression, ya."

But of course, it was undoubtedly ruined now. I could hear the loud pitter patter of the heavy rain drops. My head was throbbing. I could feel the pulse on my temple. Was there really nothing that I could do? I just got lucky with this job and now I was about to lose it. I bumped my fist on the table. I got up. Thunder roared. Sudden blackness. I tripped over some wires hanging loosely on the side. I fell over and knocked myself. I could feel blood flowing down my wrist. It was just like Lord Darkness was visiting. It was.... a horrible day. I was such a LOSER, just as what I had overheard at the office before.

It was one afternoon at the office. Everyone was out of the office, taking lunch. I was just finishing a report needed for the meeting. I was tired and did not feel hungry. However, I could feel the acid spurning in my stomach. I started to feel pain. Ok, gastric was coming. I groped for the pills in my working bag. I quickly popped the pills into my mouth and walked over to the pantry to get some warm water. There was it. The gossip about me. Saying that I was old and unemployed. Our boss just sympathised with me, taking me under his wings since I was old and jobless for two years. I tried hard to ignore what I heard. It was hard. Obviously, I was such a loser in their eyes. I shook my head violently and told myself strictly.

"No, Ian. You are not just lucky. You have the skills. You have Master's Degree. They are just jealous."

I told myself that I needed to prove my skills so that the others would just shut up what they had been spreading around and badmouthing. That was why I even skipped my lunch to work extra hard. Hell, I even got myself gastric. What right did they have to say that about me? I quickly passed by and poured myself some warm water. They saw me. They shut up. They walked away.

"Yeah, Ian. That's what you should do. Show them what you have," I patted myself for doing good so far. Mum and Dad would be proud of me.

Sigh. One sigh. Two sighs. Nothing solved. I could think of nothing. I thought of Mum and Dad's face. Would they be disappointed at me? Was I going to lose this job? I was certain of it. No doubt. No questions. Mr Parker would not forgive such a big error in the job. Blood kept on trickling, now forming a pool on the floor. I couldn't care less. What's a pool of blood when my life was about to end?

I thought of the possibilities of getting a second job. Sigh. There was no chance that I would get a second job like this. What with the old age and a huge mess of this first job? Nobody would hire me. Surviving in LA would be impossible at this state. Should I call Mum and Dad to tell them about this? I debated with myself in darkness. Yes, I should. I should be honest with them about losing my project and losing my job. Maybe they would understand. No, I should not. I should not break their heart. They had bragged to their neighbours how I got a decent job in LA and how I managed to send them pocket money. If I told them about this, it would be a huge embarrassment for them.

I felt stuffy. More like suffocated staying in the room. I got up and walked towards the door. I turned the doorknob and walked outside. It was raining more heavily now and becoming stormy. I could feel my heart as heavy as the rain and my feeling as stormy as the night could be. I looked up into the sky. Flashes of lightning continued to light up the darkness. If there was a miracle, I would like one to happen to me now. I sincerely prayed as I looked up. If YOU truly existed, then please help me.

My head was now throbbing faster. Wanting to kill off the pain in my head, I ran out into the rain. I ran on and on. I did not know how far or how long I had run. I just wanted to escape from this feeling of t*****e. I did not care about the odd looks people staying out of the rain were giving me. They would be thinking, what kind of crazy dude would want to run boldly in this kind of stormy weather?

I kept on running until at a certain point, my body finally failed me. I fell down on my knees into a puddle of muddy water. Cars drove by and splashed more water on me. I lied down on the pavement without feeling the danger of staying out in the stormy weather. I blinked my eyes as raindrops fell onto my face. Ironically, I felt relieved.

Was it finally the END? My mind questioned my heart. Both had no answer.

I surrendered to complete blackness.