we meet again.

Two.

Hendery sprawled in his bed. It felt like it was the 50th time he scrolled down Xiaojun's i********: account in the past couple of hours. But he couldn't help it, he missed him too much. When he saw him at the gallery, he recognized him immediately. He never forgot his honey deep brown eyes, nor how his nose scrunched every time he was uncomfortable in public. How can he? No one forgets their first love, especially if you left them and never said a word to them. 

Hendery hated himself for that, and he spent last night thinking about what would've happened if he picked up the phone or sent an email after moving from Texas. Would they be together by now? Or what if they dated and then broke up? 

He tried not to get hung on it, but the image of Xiaojun in a suit couldn't escape his mind. He rolled again in his bed and groaned when his roommate pushed open his door. "The walls are super thin, Guangheng. I can hear you groaning and rolling, and it's stressing me out because I know for a fact you're not having s*x. So what is it?" 

"I don't feel like talking, Yangyang." He sat up in his bed and grabbed the pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He was feeling down because he knew he may not see Xiaojun again. Because after their encounter last night, Xiaojun got scooped by his boss to go off and meet some people. And Hendery never got to ask him for his number. 

"Wait, I'll be back." Yangyang popped out of the room, and Hendery could hear him running around. He was curious about what he was doing. But decided to brush it off because no matter how well he knew Yangyang, he could never tell what was going on in his mind. 

Suddenly, his roommate popped back again in the room with a Jack Daniels bottle and two cups. "Come on, Yangyang, it's 10am." He shook his head as he took another drag from his cigarette and puffed it out. "Also, I clearly said I don't want to talk about it." 

"Oh honey, it's happy hour somewhere! Also, since when don't we talk about stuff?" Yangyang spoke as he poured the liquor into the cups and handed one to his friend. "Was the art that bad last night?" 

Hendery cracked a smile at Yangyang's humor attempt as he shook his head and then gulped the drink. "You remember when I told you about my first time?" He asked shyly, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

"Oh no, did you just find out you have a kid?" Yangyang gapped, but he looked more amused than concerned. 

"No, dumbass!" Hendery smacked the back of his roommate's head as he got out of the bed and started rummaging through his closet. He knew he had it with him; he just needed to find it. "My first guy." 

"Oh, that! You should be more specific; you have a lot of first times. How am I supposed to know?" Yangyang said, gulping the alcohol. Hendery looked at him, concerned after he dragged a small lilac box from the back of his closet. "Your best friend from high school, right?" 

Hendery remained silent as he dug up the box, looking for a specific picture; he kept all his memories from Texas in this box. There wasn't much of it, but just photos from middle school parties, his friends, and his Xiaojun. But after all, he moved from one apartment to another and then went back to Texas and then returned to New York again. Some pictures got lost on the way. So there was only one memory of him remaining.

"Ah!" Hendery shrieked, making Yangyang jump and look at him more pissed off than ever. "I knew I still had it!" He handed Yangyang the picture, which he took reluctantly. He examined it weirdly like he was looking for whatever Hendery was seeing. 

"I know I'm an artist, but all I'm seeing is a load of shit." He turned it around and upside, trying to see whatever Hendery was excited about but nothing. "I give up; what is this?" 

"It's a palace of s**t!" Hendery had the biggest smile on his face as he glanced at the picture. "Back in Texas, Xiaojun's dad had a farm, and during summer, we would help around. And one day, we got barn duty, and we had to clean it. So we made a castle out of the shit." He explained like what he was saying wasn't the most disgusting thing ever. "Horses s**t, of course." 

"Oh yes, cause that isn't disgusting at all." Yangyang rolled his eyes and threw the picture in Hendery's lap; he felt like he could smell it from here. "And what's this got to do with your first time?" 

"Well..." Hendery kept looking at the picture and reminiscing on all those summers spent on the field or in the barn. Gosh, if he could turn back time, he would. That's the happiest he has ever been. 

"Oh my god, don't tell me you had your first time in horse s**t?" Yangyang stood up from the bed and jumped to the room's corner, disgusted by his roommate. 

"Hurts how little you think of me, really." Hendery laughed and then glared at his friend. "And no, I didn't. So get your ass back here!" 

"Well, you're the one smiling at a picture of a load of shit." Yangyang sat down as he grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and gulped it, trying to erase whatever mental image he had of Hendery doing it in a barn covered in s**t. 

"I met him last night in the gallery." Hendery snatched the bottle from his hand and took a swing. "He looked so f*****g good." 

"Like good you want to f**k him good?" Yangyang asked, and he then stared intensely into Hendery's eyes, but he avoided his gaze and nodded quickly. "Oh my god, you realize this is the first time you find someone sexually attractive since Lee, right?" 

"I guess so, yeah." Hendery grabbed another cigarette with the mention of Lee's name. Like he needed another reason to be sad. "But I didn't get his phone number, so I don't think I'm going to see him again." 

"Oh my god, how stupid are you?" Yangyang almost smacked him, but when he saw the state he was in, he refrained from it and took a huge breath to rationalize his mind. "Did you even talk to him?" 

"Of course I did; he didn't recognize me at first, which was a bum. But we got to talking, and he is so hot and successful..." Hendery started talking and then drifted off as the image of Xiaojun resurfaced in his brain. "It just felt nice to talk to him."

Yangyang suddenly grabbed his phone and started typing, grabbing Hendery's attention. "Call Ten; he probably knows him. Get him to give you his number." He snatched the phone from his hand so fast he almost sent it flying across the room. "A little aggressive, but okay." 

"Are you dumb? If I wanted Ten to give me his number, I would've done that before I even left the gallery." Hendery yelled and then got out of his bed and started picking clothes from his closet to get ready and head to the parlor. "I don't want to seem creepy or stalkerish; also, I don't know anything about the guy except where he works. What if he is straight? What if he is in a relationship? What if he doesn't want to see me ever again?" He started talking so fast, something he did when he was freaking out. Yangyang almost didn't catch half of what he said. 

"But you're kind of stalking him." Yanyang threw his hands in the air, but when he saw Hendery's angry gaze. "Okay, I get it. So what are you going to do? Do you have a plan?" 

Hendery threw over his shirt and looked aimlessly in the mirror, trying to avoid the subject altogether. "I don't even know if I should do anything at all." As he stared at himself in the mirror, he felt a particular tug in his heart. A tug about Lee, about Xiaojun, and the sudden realization that everything he touches turns to ashes. 

"Of course, you have to do something, Hendery." Yangyang moved from the bed to stand behind him, so he was starring at him from the mirror. "It's been almost a year since Lee. Isn't it time to move on?" 

"Listen, can we talk about this later? I'm late to work." He turned towards his best friend, ruffled his hair, and rushed towards the door. He wasn't late to work; he owned the place, for god's sake. He just needed to get away from Yangyang because he would just keep reminding him of Lee, and he will just go down a spiral from thereon. And no matter how much he kept thinking about Xiaojun and how he missed him, the thought of Lee and his last 7 years' relationship kept pulling strings in his heart. 

"I know you're just running away, asshole!" Yangyang yelled as Hendery grabbed his keys from the coffee table in the living room. He smiled and then headed out. There was no fooling him, that's for sure.