Engaged to the Mafioso

The Marriage Arrangement

I wake up with a head splitting migraine. I wish I could say that I don't remember a thing that happened. That I didn't see my family, my sister and my mother, killed right before my eyes. The image is so vivid, so suffocating that I could scratch my own eyes out. Sobs wrack my body and the pain on my side worsens. It won't stop. The memory keeps replaying over and over in my head. I can't believe they're gone. I can't believe they're dead. Killed by mongrels. There's a hole in my chest so big I'm surprised I'm not dead yet. How can I live with this? How can I live with the fact that they died and I lived? That my life was spared by some criminal. Lili was supposed to have lived, not me. I can't live with this. I'm not strong enough to take this.

I should be dead.

I think I'm in the boot of a car, because I'm in a moving vehicle and it's very dark. Some light is seeping through, so I know it's daytime. My hands and feet are bound, so I can't move. At this point, I don't care what they do to me. I just want to end all this. I want to die so I don't have to live through this horrible pain.

At some point I must have passed out, because when I open my eyes, it's dark so I can't see anything. The vehicle is still moving. I don't know where they're taking me and I have no curiosity to find out. All I can think about is them. How do people get over such a great loss? There's no end to the pain. It's endless, bottomless.

All our lives we've always kept to ourselves. We don't mess with criminals, we stayed on the right path. But mother knew those men from long ago, and that man, Donato, knew her as well. What didn't she tell us? What secret did she keep from us? Was our whole existence a tremendous lie? Father never died of a stroke. He was killed by one of them. The Borriellos were not farmers. That man mentioned we were the last of them. Oh, mother. Why did you keep this from us? And why did we have to pay such a terrible price?

I don't know how much time has passed. It seems like an eternity. I wake, cry, sleep, repeat. I have no appetite. I just want all this to end, yet this nightmare seems infinite.

They're driving for the longest time and I'm sure we have left Basilicata behind us. Will I ever see my home again? And what about our garden? We worked so hard this year, and all that hard work simply went to waste. No, I'd rather not return. Home would not be the same without them. I would always see mother outside, watering the flowers and Lili inside watching her silly American series on her laptop and trying to pick fights with me.

The fact that I'll never see them again is so devastating I start crying all over again. I can't believe they're gone.

The vehicle slows and I stop breathing. My heart starts beating faster than ever and when the boot pops open, I look at the sky and it's inky. The same men who invaded my home and killed my family pull me out. I struggle against them momentarily, and then all the fight leaves me. What am I fighting for? I stop protesting. The car is parked outside a small house and they carry me inside. It's more like a cabin than a house. It's wooden and surrounded by trees and I'm not sure where we are. It doesn't matter, anyways. This won't last long.

The door is already open and when we get inside, there's an older man wearing a black suit inside, sitting on a chair with his legs crossed and smoking a cigar. He's resting his elbow on a small table. The room is dimly lit and I can't see much beside this small table and chair.

The men carrying me drop me and I land with a thud. Pain radiates up my body and I gasp. The smoking man lets out a chuckle and I can't help but look up. What's so hilarious about all this? Who is he?

"Gentlemen, I present to you the last Borriello!"

I look around the room and there are four more men in here, just standing there in the dark. Among them is the man from that night, the one who spared me and let my sister die. I glare at him with all my might. He should've spared Lili. He shouldn't have spared me.

The seated man speaks. "Twenty years it took me. I have to say, Mercedes was one cunning b***h. She outsmarted us all. Who would have guessed? Deep in the mountains of Basilicata." He turns to look at me. His face is heavily lined and his eyes are small and cruel. He takes a puff of his cigar. "Won't you look at this? This girl looks remarkably like her mother. Don't you think, Adamo?"

A man, also in his fifties, nods. "Yes. It is almost like Mercedes herself is knelt before us. It's quite astonishing."

Another man laughs. "How do you feel about this, Luigi? Does your heart flutter in your chest when you look at her?"

The other men laugh. So this is Luigi. This is the man who makes all the rules and ordered my family's death. I should have guessed he was the ringleader.

Luigi taps his cigar and the ashes collect on the floor next to his feet. "I won't deny it, I do. That woman was the first woman I have ever loved, Mauro."

The room falls silent as he continues staring at me. I don't know what to expect from this. I only want this to end. I no longer feel pain. I'm numb now. It's like there's nothing left of me. I died along with madre and Liliana. All that is left is this shell that I don't know what to do with.

A man clears his throat. "So what shall we do with her, Luigi? Should we kill her and end this story once and for all?"

Luigi remains silent for a good while. I want to scream yes, kill me, end my torture. I can't stand living like this I want this to end, but I can't even speak. My lips are glued shut.

"No." Luigi says. "Killing her is not an option. What good will it do? Everyone knows I already defeated the Borriellos long ago. No, what I plan to do with her is much better than killing her."

So they plan on torturing me. Fine. Only of they plan on extracting information from me, they'll be sorely disappointed. I don't know a thing about any of this. Madre never told me anything about this. It was probably for the best.

"What's your plan?" Another man asks. I'm too disinterested to even look at him. Just end this, I want to say. End my agony. End my pain.

He pauses. "I'm going to marry her to my capo, Alessandro."

My heart skips a beat and I look from the ground to Luigi. He's smiling at me and I have the sudden urge to charge towards him and rip his face in shreds, but I can't move. I'm frozen in place. I want to die. I don't want to keep living, I want to die. Marriage? Am I hearing right?

"Imagine, the daughter of the great Rodolfo Borriello, married to my caporegime. If that isn't humiliating enough for them, I don't know what is." Luigi chuckles.

The man standing next to him shakes his head. "No, I disagree with this completely. Let's just kill the girl. Do not forget that she is associated with the Negrinis. We do not want to start a war with them, Luigi."

Luigi waves his hand. "Who are you concerned about, Mauro? That fool Constanzo or his weak son, Patrizio? They never bothered to assist Mercedes when she was in need. Why would they bother assisting her daughter, now that she's dead?"

Mauro falls silent, but looks displeased.

Luigi snaps his fingers. "Alessandro, come."

The man named Alessandro, who so happens to be the man that spared me comes forward. He's looking at me and I'm glaring back. I'm filled with so much anger and hatred. He killed my sister. He killed my madre. I can't believe I'm hearing this. They expect me to marry him?

"You know what to do," Luigi says to him. "Take her and do as you please, she is your future wife after all. But be sure to marry her. I want a big wedding. I want everyone to see the last Borriello married to Alessandro Lamberti."

Alessandro nods. "As you wish."

I don't know what happens to me, but something deep inside of me cracks. I look at Luigi and this animalistic sound tears through my throat. The room falls silent and I start shouting. "I don't want to marry this mongrel and I won't! I want you to kill me! KILL ME! You pack of mutts. You think you can just sit there and decide what to do with my life? I won't let you! I won't marry this man! I'd rather die than marry him!"

Luigi doesn't seem fazed at my outburst. In fact, it seems like he was expecting it. "You are much like your mother, my dear. She was brave and feisty, too. She had this fire within her that attracted many to her like moths to a flame. She too was rebellious, which is why she married your bastard father, and not me. I will never forgive her for it and not even her death justifies what she did to me. Which is why you will marry Alessandro. You will marry him and live with him against your wish. That is your punishment, that is the cross you will carry your whole life. The cross your mother should have carried. It is a fitting punishment, don't you think?" He turns to Alessandro. "Take her away from here. Keep an eye on her. She will try to run, I know her kind quite well."

"I will do so," Alessandro says and look at me. "She will never leave my side, Don Luigi. You can trust me."

"I do, boy. I do. Which is why I chose you of all my capos."

Alessandro walks towards me and grabs my arm. I writhe against him, and if my hands weren't bound, I would tear him apart with my nails. He drags me outside and into the boot of the car I had arrived in. He shoves me inside and I manage to kick him once, right on his ribs. He doesn't even wince, just simply tucks me in calmly. Before he closes the boot, he says, "Don't worry, dear fianceé. I'll get you home soon." He laughs and shuts the boot, leaving me in the darkness with tears in my eyes and filled to the brim with despair.