Chapter 1, Continued

4778 Words
     “The doctors said that the chemo should eradicate the cancer. She should be out of the hospital within a couple months.” Josie was internally devastated at the lies coming from her own mouth. The pain that she felt from lying to her best friend made it all the worse. If Beth knew, she would tell everyone because she would want everyone to comfort me, Josie reminded herself. I don’t want comfort. There’s no good side to mom dying. The only thing it would do is remind me, and my brother, that we are about to lose a parent, she told herself harshly. I don’t want people asking me every day ‘Hey, how is your mom?’ and ‘Are you doing okay?’ I don’t like being put on the spot like that. People bringing it up constantly is just going to make me think about it. Thinking about it just makes me feel worse. There’s no way to make me feel better. If the chemo can’t help, what can? How is she going to survive this?      “Hey, would you answer me once in a while…Hey Josie?!” Turning around, Beth slammed her binder on the hood Josie’s car. When she turned back to face her, Josie finally flashed back to reality.      “Beth I’m sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” Josie answered, distressed.      “Yeah. I’ll say… Is something bothering you?” Beth asked, picking at her fresh manicure, and then looking back up at Josie.      “No. no. Of course not… If anything were, I would tell you.” Josie said with hesitation lingering behind each word.      “Josie Johnson. Now I know something is wrong because my stuck up, head-strong best friend never hesitates. What’s up?” Beth asked with a skirmish smile stretched from ear to ear like a freshly painted clown at a festival. Beth felt pleased with herself.      “Please Beth. Please. Can we change the subject? I don’t want to talk about it. What were you talking about earlier?” Josie pleaded. For a moment, a look of hurt shown on Beth’s face. Josie never kept secrets from her. They had a remarkably close and understanding friendship.      “Oh… I’m sorry for pushing.” Beth said, c*****g her head sideways in wonder.     “I was saying earlier that I wanted your opinion on if I should date Jason again.” Beth bit her lip hard.      “Wait…What…Why? I mean is there a reason, a very good reason?!” Josie answered sharply, trying to hide the frown that she had accidently broadcasted to Beth. Gosh I really hope that she didn’t notice that, she thought, ashamed.      “What do you mean by ‘Why’?” Beth asked bewildered and frustrated at Josie's sudden outburst. She took a sidestep closer to Josie’s car and leaned on the front fender narrowing her eyes on her friend.      Josie froze, not saying a word. Her own anger was building up to a peak. She didn’t want to watch Jason go through yet another heartbreak. She was feeling as if when the anger got to the top, she was going to pop, taking all her emotions out on poor clueless Beth. She couldn’t help it though. She loved Beth to death, but the girl just always pushed the wrong buttons at the wrong times and didn’t even mean to like when they were kids playing in the sand box, and she would purposely dump buckets of sand on Josie’s head. She was playing at the time of course. She wasn’t aiming to be mean, but that was the way others would see it on a constant. They never saw the good like Josie did. Beth could girl was just aggravating. Beth had some wonderful qualities, but her stunning looks was how she mainly reeled in her dates. But Jason, he had loved her just for being her, and she had thrown him away like yesterday’s trash.      All Beth could do was wonder about Josie. She had tuned her attention out again. Beth tried, but she couldn’t get her attention. What was going through Josie's mind that she refused to talk about? Beth leaned towards her; she was only inches from her. She frantically waved both her hands in Josie’s face finally getting her attention.      “Well?” Beth exclaimed, angrily.      “Well, what?” Josie answered sharply like a venomous snake striking its prey. Beth knew Josie was going through a lot of heartache, but she didn't seem to register it. She wasn’t going to strike back. “Dang Josie. Who crapped in your cornflakes?” Beth said sarcastically then giggled. “So, do you think I should date Jason or not? I want your opinion on this.”      “Well to tell you the truth Bethanne, you want to date him, then you don’t, then you do. My opinion is that you should make up your dang mind! He’s not a toy for you to play with. If you wanted to date him, then you shouldn’t have dumped him in the first place. You wrap a guy around your little finger, and then dump him like garbage when someone comes along that you think is better. I say that my brother is NOT going to be one of those guys that you hang on puppet string!” Josie was out of breath. Beth was stunned and shaking down to her fingertips with anger. “And I’m not really worried about your social life right now.” Josie could see Beth’s confusion. The girl was truly clueless. She couldn’t seem to comprehend what she had done wrong.      Finally, Beth spoke. “I get it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked you something like that. You and your family, including Jason, are going through a lot. I really am sorry.” Beth seemed to relax. Josie could tell that it killed Bethanne to apologize when she was so angry.      Josie couldn’t believe it. Beth actually understood. “Beth I just can’t deal with everything at once.” Josie opened her car door and put up all her windows grabbing her binder from the passenger seat. She left her purse in the back seat under a jacket. She searched for the lock button on her keychain and clicked it. The car made a beeping sound as they walked side by side with their arms linked as they strolled in the doors of the school. Josie loved having a friend like Beth. Even if they argued, they could get along perfectly. They understood each other.      The bell rang for first period as Josie was shutting her locker. The hallway traffic had already died down to only a few people. I’m going to be late for first period. I had better get there fast. She walked quickly to class. She sat down beside Beth in first period. Wow. Not very many people like this art class, do they? She thought to herself. She sat looking around at all of the ‘six’ teenagers that were in their seats. She was picking up her paint brush when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her back pocket. Before trying to check it, she casually pocked her head around her art stand to see the teacher reading an art book. He must be looking for our first assignment. Her eyes were drawn to the chalkboard behind him where he had scribbled his name ‘Mr. Coolson’. She’d never heard of such a name before. The teacher was a younger man. He seemed as if he’d just gotten out of collage even. He only looked as if he were six or seven years older than her brother Jason. She quietly scooted back into place in front of her paint board.      She pulled her phone from her back pocket placing it on the stand to give the teacher the allusion that she was doing something. She opened a text message from Beth.      Beth said, “So did you hear about the new guys? I heard they were cute”. Josie read the text and smiled, glancing back at Beth who smiled back.      “Yeah definitely. That’s why I came to school early. I got held up on the way here though, so I didn’t get to look for them like I had planned. I wanted to be the first to meet them so that if one were actually cute, I would have first dibs.” She heard Beth smirk from behind her and stayed facing toward her paint board. A few minutes later, her phone vibrated again.      “What is your schedule?”      “Umm. Lunch after first period, gym, Drivers Ed, and then algebra. Why do you ask?” Josie sent the message. Beth texted her back again, but she had already put her phone back in her pocket. The vibration surprised her, and she jumped. She checked to make sure the teacher hadn’t noticed. Beth giggled behind her.      “I think you’ve got gym with them. There are three new guys, but we will probably only see two of them. The other skips all his classes. I heard about it in the hallways. The two that we will see have all their classes setup together. So, you will see both of them in gym class you lucky dog. I don’t have any classes with them.”      Josie answered, “Well, I would be lucky if they were even here today.” Josie had heard kids talking this morning in the hallway about the new kids not being in school today also.      “Their first period was supposed to have been the classroom right beside ours. I could wait outside the door just to see if the rumors are true. If they don’t come out, we will know.” Beth said.      Josie didn’t text her back. She slipped her phone back into her pocket as the teacher stood up. She felt ridiculous for attempting to come to school early over a boy she didn’t know who most likely didn’t even show up. After class was over, she went to look at the lunch menu beside the door. Nasty; turkey sandwich. Who would eat that?      They decided not to stop at the door like she had talked about to wait for the new students. They walked together to Beth’s locker where they both dropped off their books. It was quicker for Josie to drop her things off there. Beth’s locker was closer to the cafeteria, and she wouldn’t end up too far down the line for food. As they were putting their books away, Josie noticed a dull ache that was starting in the back of her head. Great, another migraine is coming on, she thought rubbing her forehead.      While in the lunch line, they met up with their other two friends: Safire and Adaline. Safire, the black haired, black eyed girl was one of the nicest people Josie had ever known. She was the tallest of all four girls, and her hair seemed as if it went on forever. She always kept it tied up in a neat braid out of her face. Adaline 'Addy for short', on the other hand, was tiny and stubby but gorgeous with short, brown glossy hair, and light blue eyes. She was now talking to Bethanne.      “So, are you going to get that job that you were talking about last week?” Addy asked, curiously.      “Maybe. I don’t know. I was thinking about doing something else instead of that.” Bethanne’s eyes were swimming in her thoughts. That girl wasn’t going to get a job. She and her family had plenty of money. She just made up the job idea to have a conversation. Josie knew her too well, shaking her head with a smile.      Josie was trying to get in on the conversation, but her head was starting to spin. It felt as if someone were hitting her with a hammer. Ten minutes later, she sat down at the lunch table with her friends. She picked at her sandwich listening to everyone talk about the new kids. Wow, she thought. The new kids are the talk of the school. She continued listening.      ‘Hey, did you hear about the new kids?’, ‘Are they here today?’, ‘I haven’t seen them.’ Josie’s head was starting to buzz now. The world was felt as if it were twisting and turning. Her head was starting to throb. She felt lightheaded all the sudden, and scooted her tray away feeling nauseated. Please don’t do this to me again, she begged herself. What’s happening to me? What’s wrong with me? Maybe lack of sleep or something. She stood up attempting to keep her balance trying to give her friends the impression that everything was perfectly fine. She was headed to the bathroom and didn’t want anyone following her. Right as she got around the corner out of sight, she broke into a run. If she was going to pass out, she would rather that it happened in the bathroom. Making a scene was not her cup of tea. When she got to the bathroom to prepare for the sickness to hit full force, the sick feeling stopped. That’s strange, she thought, astonished. What is going on with me lately? I will feel sick, so I go to the bathroom. As soon I get here, the feeling just vanishes. This doesn’t make and since. I just want to go home. She put her head down covering her face with her hands while resting her weight on the bathroom sink. She was so tired of crying. She wasn’t going to do it this time. She turned and paced around and then went over to the bathroom sink again, placing both hands on either side of it. She leaned forward, putting her weight on it looked up into the mirror. I can’t go on like this. I’m tearing myself apart.      Suddenly, she just knew. Images started going through her mind. She saw glimpses of her mother crying, sobbing. She was stunned. It was as if she wasn’t in the bathroom anymore but looking in on another scene going on somewhere else. She was standing in the hospital watching someone argue with her mother. She was unable to see who it was, but she could tell that it was not a doctor or nurse. It was someone that was not supposed to be there. Why was she seeing these things? What was happening? All the sudden, the vision just stopped, and she was back in the bathroom. Had it all been in her head? She wasn’t certain. In a quick decision, she left the bathroom, practically running. She stopped at Beth’s locker and quickly texted her friend for the combination.      “8, 25, 48 Where are you? Are you not going to eat?” Beth asked her. Josie didn’t respond, because she didn’t want any more question asked that she had no clue how to answer. She grabbed her books and ran down the hallway. She was leaving. After seeing her mother in that state, she had to make sure she was alright.                                                                         Meanwhile, at the hospital      Victoria lay in the hospital bed. Tears poured from her eyes. She was talking to a man dressed as a janitor.      “Calvin please.” She begged through the sobs. “It hurts so badly. You can make it stop.” Her heart pounded with agony.      “No. I won’t. When my daughter finds out the truth, the gift will go to her. The decision will be hers, and hers alone to make, after she finds out what you done.” He stood unfazed by her cries.      “Listen to me. My children need me to take care of them. This isn’t about you and me anymore.”      “Really, now you want to worry about them. I see. Well, maybe you should have thought of that all those years ago. I’m telling her the truth. That’s why I came back. I didn’t come here for you. I’m only at this hospital right now to tell you what I’m doing.”      Victoria continued to plead with the man.                                                                                    Back at the school       Josie burst into Jason's class unannounced and out of breath. “Come on Jason. We’ve got to go. The teacher was furious. Her face turned as red as a tomato and her lips puckered.      “We’re having class here young lady. Go to the office this instant.” She demanded.      “No,” Josie said, plainly. She didn’t care what the teacher had to say. There were more important things on her mind. She ignored the teachers persistent yelling. Jason stood up looking at her confused. He couldn’t tell what was wrong, but he was going to go with her despite the teachers protests. Jason came with her, and then they were now running down the hallway to the car.      “What’s going on?” He asked repeatedly. “What’s wrong?” The boy was basically dragging his books behind him.      “I don’t know what’s wrong. I just know something is going on at the hospital. Now, would you please stop talking?” Josie said. Jason’s eyebrows went up in frustration as they burst through the double entrance doors to the school almost to the car.      “How exactly do you know this, Josie?” He asked.      “I don’t know Jason. I just do okay. Now shut-up already!”      After getting into the car, Jason asked, “What about Emerson?”      “Oh no. I’m not worrying him with this. He’s too young to understand. You made that call not me.”      When they got to the hospital, they ran to the front desk and demanded to see Victoria Johnson.      “I’m sorry, but only family members at this time.” The worker behind the counter said, not even looking up to see who they were. She was looking at a novel with her legs propped up on the empty chair beside her. Josie and Jason glanced at each other then back to the worker frustrated with her.      Jason said’ “But we’re her kids?” The tone of his voice got the receptionists attention, and she looked up at them.      "Oh, my apologies. Right this way. They put her in a new room.” They followed her around the corner. It was a wide hallway. The floor tiles were dark and had an older look to them. The ceiling was painted white, and the walls were dark tan and gray. Everything was beginning to c***k and crumble to the floor in tiny specks of brown dirt. It was a very gloomy and depressing sight. As they went down the hall, people in their rooms would stare at them in an odd manner. The numbers over the doors to each room were increasing, getting closer and closer to their destination. He led them through double doors and to a small, cramped room three doors to the right. As they were looking through the window to the room and almost to the door, Josie noticed their mother was wiping tears from her eyes. When the woman leading them opened the door, a strange janitor rushed out and around them and past them. He was in a hurry, but he slowed down just as he saw Josie, then quickly sped back up again, attempting to avoid suspicion. He tilted his head down to where his face wasn’t clearly visible.      “Well, that was strange.” Josie said, walking in to see her mother’s small form lying on the bed.  The questions about the strange man immediately left Josie's mind the second she witnessed the condition that her mother was in. Josie observed her. She could tell Victoria was trying to put on a good face for them even though she was deathly ill. Josie could tell just how much she loved them by the faint smile that curved her lips. She was lying on her back with a tiny metal hanger behind her holding a dangling clear liquid package of hospital fluids. There were two cords that led to her left wrist. One was to keep her pulse, and the other was to keep the liquid going into her blood stream. The chemo had caused terrible hair loss, so she wore a bandana over her bare scalp. The poor woman barely even had eyebrows now. Josie burst into tears at the sight of her poor mother sprawled out on that awful hospital bed like that. They hadn't come to visit her often due to a request that their mother herself had made. This was the first time that Josie had seen her mother this bad.      She dropped to her knees beside her mother and whispered, “I love you mom”. She leaned on Victoria, sobbing.      “It’s okay baby.” Her mother said, patting her on the back of the head. “You don’t need to worry about me like this.” Victoria told her.      “I don’t want you to leave us.” Josie looked up at her with sorrow filling her gaze.      “This is just the way things work. People are born and then they die. It’s not a bad thing. It happens to everyone eventually, just a little sooner than expected to some people.” She brushed a stream of hair from Josie's face as she looked up at her mother again. She ran her fingers through the top of my hair soothingly.      “How could you know not to be afraid of it?” Josie questioned with more tears pouring down her cheeks.      “Where will we go?” Jason asked, stepping into the room. "We need to be prepared for all this." He was doing his best not to seem upset. Victoria paused before answering the question. She looked at the window. She couldn’t bear to see the looks on their faces when she told them what they were wanting to know.      “Michael will handle it.” She spoke the words like they were a food that she couldn’t bear to taste. She closed her eyes as if she knew what was coming next. She had an idea as to how Josie was going to react.      “What?!” Josie cried. Victoria flinched. “We can’t. he can’t take care of himself let alone Emerson. He’s a drunk now. Do you really want poor little Emerson to grow up around that? He could hurt him or even hurt one of us? Granted, he's not shown violence, but it could happen. We need you not him.”      “JOSIE! SHUT-UP” A voice from behind her yelled with fury. It was Jason, and his face looked as if he were blown up like a balloon, red and ready to pop. “Mom doesn’t have the strength to deal with you right now. And we need to head home to make sure Emerson got picked up off the bus.” He walked to the other side of the bed and placed a gentle kiss on Victoria’s forehead. Victoria offered him a weak smile as he gave her a long comforting hug. “I love you mom. We will see you tomorrow, okay?” He said with a faint smile. As they walked out of the room, he violently snatched Josie by the wrist. “Is that what was so wrong? You wanted to scream at her and tell her that. Don’t you think she feels bad enough?”      “No… I think the janitor done something or said something to her. Didn’t he seem suspicious to you at all? Didn’t you notice that when he left mom’s room, mom had been crying and tried to cover it up when we walked in? Gosh Jason. Open your eyes a little bit. There was a silence between them while Jason was thinking back on the moment when the janitor came out. A few minutes passed and he looked back into my eyes.      “Let’s say you’re right, and he did do something to her. How could we even prove it, and why didn't you ask her about it instead of doing what you did in there?” Jason asked. “There’s literally nothing that we could do. And mom didn’t seem too adamant to tell us anything about him or she would have.”      Jason had good points that Josie thought about on the way back to their house. Jason drove this time. She sat looking out the window. was her mother hiding something? She had to have been, or she would have told someone to get the man out of her room. Josie was so confused. She had to be missing part of what was actually going on. When they got home, Emerson’s gloomy, little eyes were on the TV. He was such a smart little kid. He had found his way into the house with the spare key when the bus had dropped him off. He had also somehow shut off the house alarm on his own. Josie wasn't surprised because he watched her turn it on every morning when they would go out. He was sitting on the couch watching ‘Bob the Builder’ when Jason walked in door.      “Looks to me like he got in the house just fine.” Josie looked at Jason, annoyed.      “I knew he would have gotten in the house just fine. I mainly wanted to get you away from mom.” Jason turned and walked towards the kitchen away from her.      Josie wanted to slap him in the face. He sure did deserve it in her opinion, but she didn’t want to upset Emerson, who's tired eyes had turned in their direction at the mention of their mother. She turned on her heal and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a cup of water.      “Josie, we had to leave because every time we go there, all you do is cause more trouble for her.” Jason said in a whispered tone.      Josie didn’t deny it. She just turned away from him. She was mad enough. She turned back around after putting her glass in the sink. “Don’t bother Emerson. He will fall asleep on his own, and then you can carry him to bed. I going to go to bed early. I didn’t sleep last night, and I am exhausted. Goodnight.” She turned and went up the stairs after starting the dishwasher.      She reset her clock to her desired time and laid down. While she lay in bed, she wondered why the new people weren’t in school today, and who the strange janitor was that upset her mother. What will happen to us if she doesn’t live? She thought. It was still light outside. She lay awake, staring at the blue bird playing away in the branches of the trees through her window. As she closed her eyes, a small tear ran down her cheek. She fell asleep.  
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