I wasn't intentionally avoiding the question; I just didn't think it mattered. Whether or not he finds me, it's irrelevant. After all, we're strangers, barely even acquaintances. I came here to see my grandfather, not to escape anyone.
Grandfather is the only person I can rely on. In my family, aside from Velden, only he has ever stood up for me. But Velden just turned eighteen, and my parents dismiss his words as youthful ignorance. Grandfather is the only one left for me.
He's an American man who moved to Japan ten years ago. After my grandmother passed away, he decided to return to Akita, where they first met, to live out his remaining years.
It's 590 kilometers from Tokyo to Akita. After three hours on the bullet train, I finally arrived in this small city on the northwest coast of Honshu. As a child, my grandparents often brought me here, and I remember much about this place, though I can't recall how I used to communicate with the locals. No wonder Nerys always gives me that disapproving look—"You've been to Japan, and yet you still failed your Japanese exam."
Seeing my grandfather brought back a flood of familiarity, mixed with a tinge of strangeness. His once stern gaze had softened, and his hair had turned gray. When I was younger, he always seemed so serious, though his actions were often gentle. He would speak up when my mother scolded me, saying coldly, "Let her reflect on it herself." And when I'd sit and stare at the withering trees in the yard, he'd join me, quietly saying, "They're waiting for spring, just like you."
Back then, I didn't understand that his demeanor was a mask he wore as a seasoned businessman. But now, seeing him meticulously tending to his garden, I realize this is who he truly is. My grandfather was always a kind man, like my grandmother, just less obvious about it. He didn't stroke my hair with his weathered hands as she did, but he would stand beside me, saying in his usual stern tone, "A girl must be strong so she won't be taken advantage of. Remember that for life."
I sat behind him, watching as he trimmed the leaves, and finally said, “Grandpa, I'm getting married, but I don't want to.”
“Vivi.” He didn't turn around, his focus still on the trees. “Look at these leaves. They spend their whole lives on the tree. No one ever asks if they want to stay. And even if they didn't want to, what could they do? If they leave the tree, they die. Even in death, they feed the tree that nurtured them all their lives.”
“Does that mean people like us have no right to pursue happiness?” I asked, frustrated.
“Do you have someone you truly love?” he asked in return.
“…No.”
“Then how can you be sure this marriage won't bring you happiness? You can't judge what you haven't experienced yet.” His voice was low and filled with years of wisdom.
“I've heard of that young man from the Mount family. At 25, he's already accomplished so much in his career. There aren't many like him. This marriage will benefit both families. In doing so, you'll repay what you owe the Wei family. And if you manage it well, you could even find happiness.”
I fell silent, thinking over his words. Grandfather still faced away from me, and I couldn't see the expression on his face, but his tone carried a weight of meaning beyond what he was saying.
“So, Grandpa, you're not going to help me, are you?” My voice trembled slightly, betraying my disappointment.
“I've said all I can. How you proceed is your choice.” He finished with his shears, slowly rising to his feet. “Ah, I'm too old to meddle in the affairs of the young. I can't exactly fly back with you, can I?” He gave a small shake of his head as he walked away from the garden.
I watched him go, feeling as though, like the leaves on that tree, I was being forced to choose my path, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.