Witchery

Chapter 10

I am crouching in a corner in a crumpled-together kitchen and living room. Outside the window you can vaguely see trees surrounding the house. Behind the small kitchen table, in the middle of the room, I can see the shadows of two people struggling. I recognize one of them as my mum. The other as the Warlock. He wants her to do something for her, but she refuses. He gets angry and hits her. I try to crawl deeper into the shadow of my corner, wanting to disappear. I am holding my hands over my ears, so I can’t hear them. The muffled tones of their argument are vaguely reaching my ears, but I refuse to listen to the words. My will to fight is lost long ago. 

He strikes her again; she falls to the ground and this time she doesn’t get up. He slowly turns towards me, walking without hurrying, it takes him ages to cross the space from the kitchen counter to my corner. He crouches down to my eye level. I want to look away, but his iced black eyes hold my gaze. I am trapped like an animal in a corner. 

“It is just a quick little experiment, it won’t take long. Come along now.” His tone doesn’t leave any room for argument. He grabs both my wrists and yanks me up, dragging me after him. I feel the hurt from his cold touch, and I try to fight him off me, but he is too strong. He takes me to a small study where he has cleared the table standing in the middle of the room. I am thrown on the table, the pain shooting up my spine. In no time, he binds my hands and feet to the table legs. I am shaking with fear, trying to tell him to stop, but my lips won’t move. I can feel the sharp pain from the ropes, holding me down. I try my best to wrestle myself out, but they are too tight. My head is screaming but nothing leaves my mouth. A sort of claustrophobia from my own body is creeping over me. What if I will never be able to speak again? 

He takes out a silver knife from a drawer, then turns to me. He lets it drag across my skin of my left arm, just enough for the blood to start spilling. The sharp pain makes my brain al clear, and I want to scream in agony, tear myself out of his cold grip, but I can’t, I can’t…

I wake up by my own scream, sitting upright in one go. I try to calm myself down, but the pain still feels so real, the terror is tearing me up. I can’t stop shaking and crying loudly. 

The door to my room is barged open, Adriel running in. 

“Baby, what happened?” He asks, taking me into his arms. 

“Another nightmare?” 

He gently strokes my back, helping me calm down. I nod my head and with a shaking voice repeat the dream.  

“It was another memory of yours then?” 

Adriel seems lost in thought. 

“I wonder were this happened.”

 I wonder that too. From what I saw it almost seemed to me as if though I was in a house located in the woods. 

“Maybe he has held you and your mum captive for a long time?” Adriel suggests. 

I can only nod, having thought the same. 

“Listen baby, I’ll reschedule some meetings tomorrow and we can go see the witch first thing in the afternoon, okay?” 

“Yes.” I whisper, my voice so fragile.

“We need to figure this out, you can’t keep having these bad dreams.”

I just shake inside his embrace, feeling cold to my very core. He caress me until I stop shaking completely, then say,

“Just lay down, baby. I’ll stay with you.” He kisses me softly on my cheek, and gently helps me lay down. He lays down next to me, taking me into his embrace. I finally relax a bit and his hand never stop moving up and down my arm, until I finally fall asleep against his chest. 

The next morning, Adriel is already gone, but when I descend downstairs, I can hear Sera potter about in the kitchen. I walk out, and she looks up from the coffee machine. 

“Good morning Esme, I was just about to make coffee and I have some bread rolls in the oven. Are you hungry?” 

“Good morning, I am very hungry.” I answer and sit down. 

“Did you sleep well? I heard you screaming last night, but Adriel told me he would handle it. I hope, you are okay?” 

I am guessing they mind-linked, I probably woke her up, too. 

“I am sorry if I scared you, I just had a nightmare.” I tell her, looking down into my empty plate. 

“Yes, Adriel told me this morning. He’ll be here around noon, picking you up to go see Lena. The Witch.” She adds, when she sees my raised eyebrow. She takes out the bread rolls from the oven and places one on my plate. 

“Careful, they are pretty warm.”

“Do you know her?” I tentatively ask her, referring to the witch. I hesitantly pick up the roll, intending to cut it open, but immediately drop it again when I burn my fingers. 

“Yes, we used to work very closely together, before Simon passed away and Adriel took over the pack duties.” She answers, a glazed look in her eyes. I know she reminisces for a second, before she returns to the conversation.

“She is a very sweet, but firm, woman. She has protected this city for a very long time. I think witches age in a slower pace than humans or werewolves.” 

“Do you… do you think she can help me with my condition?” 

“Of course she can, honey. You don’t know she studied psychology in her young days?” 

I shake my head but feel a bit more at ease hearing this. Maybe she doesn’t even have to use her magic on me. 

Sera turns on the radio, sitting down across from me. She picks up the roll and manages to cut it open without burning herself. Then she hands me the bread knife, and I have a second go on the stubborn bread, finally cutting open my own bread roll. While we eat, Sera keeps trying to find the news channel. 

“I usually never listen to this, but I thought a weather report might be nice. I don’t know why, but I feel like attending to my garden today. And I’ll make lasagna for you and Adriel when you return from Lena.”

Hearing this I give another smile. I have a strong feeling it is very a long time since she last went outside attending her garden. 

“Aren’t werewolves quite happy with nature?” I ask, not exactly certain the question makes any sense. 

“We love being outside, feeling the nature, if that’s what you mean my dear?” 

“Yes, that was what I was trying to ask.” I laugh. 

“I always loved being in my wolf form, running through the city streets. Maybe I miss it a bit…” It kind of sounds like a question, but it isn’t really like she is asking me, or anyone, in particular. 

The weather report announces sunny, however windy and slightly cold weather, like a perfect May’s day. Sera looks satisfied with the forecasts and we help each other cleaning after breakfast, while she tells me about her favorite music genre, classical music. 

“It used to be a bit more upbeat music when I was younger, but lately I’ve found such a peace in classical music. I could show you my favorite piano concerts, if you’d like?” 

I easily agree to this, and we move from the kitchen to the living room, Sera with her second cup of coffee crammed in her hand. I am drinking the herbal tea I also got from time to time in the hospital, feeling more at ease, even though the night took a bad turn on me. 

Her favorite is a mix of Debussy’s piano pieces, Claire de Lune included. I don’t really know anything about classical music, having only heard a few piano pieces that one evening with Adriel in the hospital, but I immediately feel more relaxed listening to it. Sera notices my change of energy too, suggesting we might spend the rest of the morning reading and listening to the music. I agree. Taking a good look at her bookcase, I end up pulling ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ out from among the racks. 

“I used to read the Harry Potter books to Ariana and Adriel when they were kids. Are you familiar with them?” 

I shake my head. 

“Not as far as I know at least.”

“Oh, right. You have to excuse me; I easily forget your condition.”

“It is okay. Memory loss isn’t your everyday illness, I guess.” I say with a shrug, sitting down in the huge sofa, opening up the book. 

This is another one of the must-know-about series according to both Adriel, Ariana and Elise. I am easily consumed in the book. It is humoristically written, the plot and the entire world soon has me spell bound. I even disregard the fact that it is about witches and wizards, the words firstly running coldly down my spine. 

Sera is reading ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Emily Brontë. It is about heartbreak, misunderstanding, and different social statuses.  And most importantly: it was written by a woman in the 19th century. At that time, women weren’t really allowed to write books, at least they were looked down upon by society.

Around noon, I realize I still haven’t taken a shower, even changed from my pajamas, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Sera announces she’ll make lunch while I go get ready.

I hurry upstairs to find a change of clothes, just getting the same, black jeans from yesterday, a white, open cardigan and a red top with cute lace on it to go under. 

When they went shopping for me, Elise and Ari made sure to get me everything, even a hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, and a mild face wash and two moisturizers, one for my face and one for my body, both of them smelling deliciously. They also got me shaving tools. I haven’t really mustered up my courage to shave my sticky hair on my legs yet, but today, I decide, is the time. I carefully shave my legs and underneath my arms too, afterwards putting on a thick layer of moisturizer. Feeling very satisfied with my first attempt, I almost don’t want to wear tight, black jeans. I end up just wrapping the towel around me, and hurry back to my room, before Sera catch a glimpse of me, half naked. Back in my room I find one of the dresses, Elise got me. It is a deep, almost wine, red, colour. It reaches somewhat above my knees, with a loose fit all way down and thick straps, but no sleeves. Underneath it, I put a plain, white long-sleeved shirt, and pair the shirt with white socks reaching just above my ankles. Looking myself in the mirror, I feel really satisfied with my look, continuing on to add just a bit of mascara and draw up my eyebrows like the girls showed me. Not bad, Esme I think to myself, before heading downstairs, my hair still wet and hanging loosely all around me. 

Sera has made lunch when I come back down. She smiles at me and tells me I look very gorgeous, which has my face light all up. Lunch turns out to be scrambled eggs on rye bread and butter. She also serves orange juice and has made me another cup of herbal tea. 

We casually chat about my looks, her asking if it is Elise’s dress I’ve borrowed. I tell her of Ari and Elise’s shopping adventure, confessing I can’t wait to go by myself. 

“Oh, I used to love shopping,” Sera says with longing in her eyes, 

“I think I passed that on to Ariana.” 

She laughs for herself. 

“Maybe we should go shopping together one day then?” 

The words come over my lips, before I have even thought the sentence to the end. Bad idea, Esme, Sera isn’t your mum, you barely know her! And you don’t have any money, what are you thinking?  I scold myself. 

But Sera’s face actually lights up with this thought. 

“Yes, I’d love to!” She says. 

“Maybe not this week though, I promised Adriel we’d only stay in the area. He is a bit overprotective of you, you know.” 

I nod, lost in thoughts. I don’t understand how people can be so nice to me, I don’t have anything to offer. The only thing that defines me right now is my trauma, my memory loss and an overprotecting Alpha as a mate. Has he just ordered everyone around me to be nice to me and say yes to my lame suggestions? Emotions start welling around inside me, thoughts of how I am as empty as a shell turning around my head. The dream from last night coming back to me in flashes. Feeling as alone as the most desolated island, as empty and indifferent as a stranger in a crowded room, I almost can’t breathe. I can’t take it. Why am I even here? I am not doing anything right. I don’t have anything. All this is, surely, just temporarily offered to me until Adriel tires of me. I am nothing, I am empty. Suddenly, everything seems terrifying to me. I get goosebumps up and down my arms, a chill running down my spine. I feel so, so cold. And alone. My vision starts clouding, black dots in my brain. I see a movement to my right, which instinctively has me retreating, terrified. I don’t see Sera’s kitchen anymore, just dark spots, and, in between blinks, the apartment, I was locked up in, the wood house from my latest dream, the deserted street where my mother was killed. The claustrophobic feeling from my dream comes creeping back. I feel something wet on my cheeks, but I don’t dare touch it, certain it is blood. I don’t dare move, maybe he will find me? I start breathing more abruptly, the black dots in my vision getting bigger, my fear of every movement paralyzing me, my breath getting more rapid, the chill down my spine more burning, ice cold…

I wake up on the couch, Adriel’s worried face hovering above me. I slowly try to sit up, but he holds me back. My head hurts. 

“What… what happened?” 

“You had a panic attack. I felt it and made it here immediately.” 

“You fainted and hit your head on the table, however not too bad. You might have a headache.” Adds Sera, standing on the other side of the coffee table, also with a worried expression. 

I strain my thoughts, trying to remember what had me panicking like that. 

“I am sorry.” I whisper, tears in my eyes, as I realize I made myself panic. It was my own fault, my thoughts running wild, out of control. Adriel shouldn’t have to come over such a stupid, trivial matter.   

“Why are you saying sorry?” Adriel asks, a stern look in his face. 

“Because… I… noting happened, I had myself panic. And I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

I look down, feeling almost embarrassed over myself. 

“Don’t say that.” Adriel’s tone is very firm, making me look up again. 

“You are not angry with me for going crazy over nothing? You probably had to leave something important just to come here.” 

“Esme.” He says, sitting down besides me, taking both my hands in his. 

“You are not panicking over nothing. You have a very valid reason to be afraid. To have panic attacks. I wish I could be with you all the time, if that would make you feel safer.” He puts a hand under my chin, making sure he has my full attention.  “Baby, the anxiety following you is nothing for you to apologize for. It is not your fault, all these things that have happened to you. Someone else did this to you. So, don’t ever apologize for this again, you understand?”

I look into his big, green, hypnotizing eyes, my own filling with water once more. Finally, I nod, accepting his words. 

“Promise me to never leave me alone, no matter how afraid I get because of myself?” I whisper. 

“Yes, baby. I promise you. I won’t leave you for anything. You are mine, so why would I ever do such a thing?” 

“I don’t… I am sorry I ever doubted you.” 

The words stumble over my lips, and I bite down to stop myself from talking.

“Stop saying sorry.” He sighs and rolls his eyes of me. I nod again, a slow smile spreading across my face. 

“Good, baby.” 

He leans in to give me a kiss on my lips. I feel my heart flutter up my throat. He pulls away way to fast, probably conscious of his mother standing a few paces way, and wipes away my tears. I can hear my wolf whimper a bit, not being satisfies with the fact that he already pulled apart. My wolf wants more, and I feel it overpower me, I grab hold of his collar and draw his face nearer again, kissing him a bit to forcefully. In the background I hear Sera chuckle and shuffle out. Adriel, clearly surprised with my sudden movement, takes a second to respond to my kiss, but as soon as he does, he takes back the control by grabbing my hips, pulling me into his lap, as close to him as I can possibly go for now. We stay like this for a long time, the only sound is my beating heart and our sporadic swallows of air. My entire body feels light and warm, and I want to feel all of him. His hands also start traveling around my body, going places they never dared venturing before. Barely stroking by breasts, my bare, inner thighs. I know, he wants more too.  

We are abruptly stopped by Sera knocking on the door frame. 

“I hate to interrupt you, but don’t you have an appointment with Lena?” She asks, smirking. 

Adriel checks his phone to look at the clock, and gets up in a fast motion, letting me gently down to the floor. 

He takes my hand and pulls me towards the entrance. In no time I am wearing my leather jacket, boots, and sitting in the front seat in Adriel’s car. Sera yells to us from the kitchen window to give Lena her best.

Adriel just waves and pulls out. Going a bit over the speed limit, he starts heading towards the other end of the city.  

“Oh, by the way, happy birthday, baby.” He says and nods towards the backseat.

An elongated, wrapped up box is lying for itself in the middle of the backseat, utterly alone, and I hesitantly pick it up. 

“You didn’t have to give me anything.” I say with a frown. 

“Of course I did. And it’s something I had to get you anyways.” I look at him, an eyebrow raised.

“I guess I just spoiled all the fun now, sorry…” He laughs. 

I open up the package without further comment, gasping when I see the content. 

“You bought me a phone?” I ask, not believing my own eyes. 

“Yes I did, I figured it was high time you had one for yourself.” 

“Thank you!” It feels like my eyes are rolling out of my head in suprisement.

I slowly take the phone out of the package. It is quite big, very red, and has that logo formed as an apple, which I’ve also seen on Ariana’s phone, on the back of it. I stare at it for some time, not really sure what to do with the black screen staring back at me. 

“Most phones work best if you turn it on first.” Muses Adriel.

I glare in his direction, before finding the turn-on button on the right side of it. After holding it in for a few minutes, it lights up in a white screen, saying ‘hallo!’ Then it goes on writing the same ‘hi’ in different languages. 

“Do I… Do I need to do something to make it work then?” I ask.  

“Yes, you know what, let’s have a look at it once we get back to my mum’s, it requires wi-fi to have it set up properly anyways. I just thought that I really wanted to give it to you immediately, but I can see now it was kind of stupid.” 

“No, Adriel, I love it! And I am so happy you went and bought it for me and wrapped it up and everything.” 

“Of course my love, you only turn 23 once right.” He sends me a crooked smile in the rear-view mirror and my heart melts a tad more, even though I didn’t think it could possible continue melting for him like that. I feel tears in my eyes, and hurry to wipe them away, before mustering up my courage to give him a kiss on his cheek. He reacts on my kiss with another laugh, and caresses my bare thigh for a short, sweet moment, before taking his hands back on the steering wheel, turning to the left. I start asking him about his car and driving, and he tells me, it’s an electrical one, so no sound from the engine, no gears, no clutch. I remind him that I don’t even know whether I have a driver’s license or not, and therefore have no idea what half of these things mean. He slyly apologizes for forgetting my condition, his cheeks turning a bit red. Instead he starts telling me about the car itself. It is called a ‘Tesla’ and it is super expensive but has a great acceleration. 

“What does acceleration mean exactly?” 

“How fast it goes from 0 kilometers per hour to a 100. Let me show you.” He answers, a grin over his face, as he first slows the car down to a full stop on the, thankfully, deserted street we are currently driving on. 

“I’ll count to three, then go. You ready?” I nod anticipating, my heart already racing a bit faster. 

“One.” He glimpses at me, wanting to see my reaction. 

“Two.” Sending me a cunning smile. 

“Three!” He almost yells, hammering his foot on the speeder, and finally taking his eyes from me to the road. 

Even though I tried to prepare for it, I am jerked forward because of the sudden change of speed. A thrill is traveling from my stomach, which feels like it has been left behind where we stopped, and up my chest. My heart starts pondering at the same speed as the car, and I see trees, houses, cars parked on the side of the road, coming straight for me and being passed by in no time. Moreover, we are nearing a pretty serious turn, but Adriel doesn’t slow down. 

“Adriel, oh Moon Goddess, slow down!” I finally find my voice to scream. 

But he doesn’t listen to my frightened plea, and takes the turn with a crazy speed, I am sure is way over the speed limit. Right after the turn, however, the street is coming to a cross. Adriel lets go of the speeder, and just let the car roll towards the stop. I am now positively alarmed, my heart has definitely left my chest, on its way up my throat, and I scream for him to break the car. 

“That is not how a car without gears work, baby, if I break the car now, you might just go flying out the window.” He laughs, totally calm, ignoring my panic. I stare at him, horrified. 

“Relax, baby, I am overexaggerating, I have it under control.” 

At this point I finally notice that the car has actually slowed drastically down on its own. Adriel breaks right on the yield line, the car stopping immediately. 

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” He says brightly. 

I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry and scream, so I end up not being able to say anything. Adriel leans over and kisses my lips, caressing my upper arm. 

“I am sorry, baby, I become a bit like a child when it comes to engines.” He admits. 

My heart has finally started returning to my chest, my stomach feels almost back to normal, but I finally feel the adrenaline rush, that I guess was why he did it, and I start smiling. 

“Maybe it is a bit fun.” I admit, 

“But I would appreciate if you’d drive normally for the rest of the trip.” I add. 

He nods,

“Of course, baby, anything you want.” 

Another cunning, charming smile that I can’t stand. I kiss him passionately, almost getting on top of him in the car. He can’t hold his traveling hands away from my thigh and gently pulls my hair to have my face angled towards his. We only break apart when someone in a blue car behind us angrily honks to get our attention back on the road. Having totally forgotten our surroundings, we realize we are blocking the road completely for cars coming behind us. Adriel hurriedly checks both sides of the crossing road, before driving straight across. We can’t help ourselves but laughing at the incident. I look back just as the blue car takes the turn to the right, seeing a middle-aged man behind the steering wheel, still looking furious. We lock eyes and he sends me a very mean hand gesture, before we are both moving on in different directions. 

A few more roads down, and we finally pull up next to a small, light yellow house with an impressive garden and smoke coming out from the chimney. In the open front-door is a middle-aged woman standing, faintly smiling when she sees us pulling up. She instantly catches my eyes, holding my gaze. I feel a wave of fright mix with suspense and a small, budding feeling of hope hitting me, and I take a deep breath, gathering up my courage.