Witchery

Chapter 14

I am seated by the table, coffee, bread, and butter in front of me. By the stove, my mum is standing, making fried eggs, sunny side up. She is telling me something, sending me her brightest smile, looking so much like me. Outside, I can hear cars driving past, birds twittering. A delicious smell is spreading through the small house. A handsome man walks into my vision, hugging my mum from behind, kissing her bare shoulder where her loose-fit shirt has fallen down, before sitting down across from me. He happily cheers me good morning, before checking the news in the open paper. 

“I just read it this morning. Honey, it says Henry has gone missing. What happened?” My mum asks the man. He shrugs, telling her not to worry. Henry, he says, is just on a mission, scouting some new knowledge for him. 

“But it’s not just that, is it, Dylan?” My mum asks tentatively. “You are searching again, aren’t you? When are you ever going to let it go?”  She cross her arms, shooting him an irritated look.

“Don’t speak to me this way, woman, I am doing this for us. Stop arguing with me, especially in front of Esme.” 

The entire atmosphere has changed, from a perfectly happy morning, to a dreadful felling creeping in over me. The man turns around, his deep black eyes sinking into mine, no humanity left...

I wake up, sitting up again. This time, I don’t think I screamed, but I am shaking and bathed in my own sweat. Adriel has sat up next to me on the madras. He scrambles into my bed, holding me. He doesn’t need to ask this time, he already knows. 

“This time, it actually started out happy.” I whisper, tears in my eyes, before explaining what I had just seen behind my closed eyes. 

“Don’t worry baby, we will figure this out. Tomorrow, I’ll hopefully receive some interesting news on the matter. And Monday, we’ll go see Lena again. Don’t worry.”  

“Tomorrow? What did you find?” 

“Hopefully, I’ll be able to show you tomorrow. But not now, baby, and don’t get your hopes up too high, okay?”  

I let him lay me back down. He stays by my side, until I have fallen back to sleep. 

The next morning, he is still sleeping next to me. The sun is peaking in from the dark curtains we didn’t fully close yesterday evening. I lay awake for some time, just scrutinizing him. He looks so tired, but at peace, when lying there. Taking my time, I let my eyes wander over his hair, his closed eyes, his slightly crooked nose, his perfectly shaped mouth. The covers are only reaching somewhat above his bellybutton and I can finally get a clear view on his muscular body. The black tattoos running up his arms actually continue over his bare chest. I have to ask him what they are for, I tell myself. Slightly to his left on his ribcage, he has a shape of a diamond tattoo, and I am guessing it is for the Emerald Moon Pack. Ari has told me you usually mark yourself as member of a pack by tattooing its sign on you. She has the same tattoo on her index finger.

I slightly touch his muscles on his bare chest, caressing his warm skin. He moves a bit, like he is reacting to my touch. I let my fingers explore his upper body, his skin slightly rough under my touch. It is like everything is still and peaceful, and I realise I am holding my breath. 

Somewhere next to me, a phone vibrates. I turn to see his phone lighting up, stopping my fingers’ activity. 

“Don’t stop.” He whispers. 

I am a bit startled, haven thought he was still somewhat asleep. I look back at him, slowly taking up my stroking again, his eyes still closed. But this time, I feel his hand creeping to my forearm as well, slowly tracing down my silky nightgown. All of a sudden, he turns to me, still eyes closed, but taking control of the moment. He pulls me in tight, caressing my cheek, my nape, reaching my ears, then going slowly down, once again tracing my dress. A soft gasp escapes my lips, and I am silently begging for him to kiss me. But he doesn’t indulge, taking his time to search my body, just like I did his before. I almost can’t bear his soft touches, and another soft moan escapes me, when he reaches my inner thighs. I can feel my lower body heating up from the touch of his fingers, nearing my warmth. 

But when they reach their destination, I feel a sudden chill and I push away his fingers. 

“I’m sorry, Adriel, I… I can’t.” 

My wolf whimpers, not agreeing with my decision. She wants more. She is hungry to become his true mate I can feel it. 

”It’s okay, baby, we haven’t even talked about this. You aren’t used to my touch. Let’s just take this slowly, okay?” 

“Even though… it might be hard for you?” I whisper. 

He kisses my front head, softly whispering “Yes, even though it is very be hard indeed for me.” 

I nod, relaxing in his arms for a second, before pushing him gently off the bed, back on his madras. He laughs at me, but also admit that it is probably for the best to keep a bit of a distance, he has a hard time containing his wolf. And I have to admit that I have never heard my own inner wolf this upset and disappointed with me before. Or this loud for that matter. It is like I have to contradicting personalities in my mind. I decide to calm down mine by asking a really tough question. 

“So… how many people have you actually slept with, before me?” I have to admit, I am bit curios, and not sure about what I would prefer or how I will react, if he has slept with half of the city. He tilts his head, looking at me for a few seconds, before answering.

“Well, I’ve been with both women and men before.” Shrugging.

“That is not a number, though, Adriel.” I answer, crossing my arms. 

“No one’s cheating you this morning, huh? Okay, let’s just say I stopped counting after 30.” 

Small, red marks form on his cheeks. 

“Oh, Moon Goddess, Adriel, are you blushing?” I teasingly ask him. 

“It’s just, you know, before I met you, I didn’t really believe in fated mates. Or okay, that’s a lie, my parents were fated, after all. I just never really considered, that I would find mine. And I never really… cared to look. I guess I saw how it affected my mum. But I’ll take it all back now. Having met you is the best that has ever happened to me.” 

His eyes hold my gaze, a seriousness I don’t think I have ever seen in his eyes before. 

“Meeting you is the best thing that has happened to me, too.” I frown, adding, “although I guess it doesn’t say much.” 

This has him laughing, coming back onto my bed to tickle me. I try to escape him, but he holds me down, not stopping even when I beg him to hold his hands. 

When he finally lets  go, I am out of breath, my hair bun, that I had tied for the night, a total mess. I gasp, asking him how he figured out I was ticklish. 

He shrugs, “It was just an experiment.” 

I try to slap him on the shoulder, but he just catches my wrist. 

“I think you have forgotten to work out your arms, Missy. Even though I do have a memory of mentioning this to you before.” 

I make a face, sitting up. He still holds my wrist, this time using it to draw me closer, kissing my mouth. The thrilling sensation runs through my mind again, and I get lost in his arms. 

Adriel lets go of me way sooner than I would like, but just as he respected my wishes only a few minutes ago, I respect his need of distance as well. 

“Let’s go get breakfast, I can smell bread rolls.” He says, getting up, and taking me with him to the door. 

After breakfast, and my first cup of coffee, which turned out to be a bit too strong for my taste – even though Adriel insisted I just needed time to adjust to the taste – Adriel turns a serious face towards me. 

“Listen baby, we need to talk. I have been digging about your past ever since I found you. And we finally found some clues this week.”

“You did?” I ask, uncertain whether I should be happy or scared, his face definitely not hinting anything. 

“Yes, well the reason why it has taken us a month, is, that it turns out, you are not really from this city. Or at least if it is you, we have found, we aren’t even certain yet.” 

“Where… where am I then from?” I feel confusion multiply in my head. This is a pretty big city however it is located deep within the forest. It would take at least a few hours to make it to the next big city. 

“Well there are a few smaller towns scattered in the forest, and we finally found a match in one of those.” 

My eyes are wide-open with this new information. I may find my past in this smaller village! Someone who maybe new my parents! Maybe… maybe my dad is still alive somewhere.  

“But there is something else.” Adriel takes me out of my train of thoughts. 

“You and your entire family disappeared from the village five years ago. No one knows where you went. It is like a dead end. We are currently trying to get more information about your family life in general and maybe some pictures to really be able to identify you, but the mayor of the time is very uncooperative, I am afraid. Or at least very slow to answer. So I was thinking, maybe we should just go there ourselves and knock on his front door.”

“And… you want me to come?” 

“Yes, it gives us more leverage to go knocking on a stranger’s door on a Sunday if you are with us. Lucas will be joining for extra security.” He adds when he sees my brow raising on ‘us’. 

“And maybe it would unlock some of my memories to see where I grew up?” 

Adriel slowly nods, getting up to walk around the table, taking me into his arms. 

“You are right, baby. So, you would be okay with joining us? You, of course, don’t have to come if it’s too much for you.” 

I consider for a moment, before saying,

“No, I want to come. I think it would be good for me.”

“Alright baby let’s hit the road then. I think, the drive is about one and a half hour from here.” 

Adriel picks up his phone, leaving the kitchen to call Lucas arranging the details. 

Sera has been silent the entire discussion, and I start wondering if she already knew what they had found. Does Ariana know too? I can’t help but wonder, a slow feeling of annoyance creeping over me. I really wish Adriel would stop treating me like I can’t handle anything. I get he doesn’t want to disappoint me, but I would rather be let into the discussion and process right away. All of a sudden, I feel really frustrated with just sitting here at his mum’s place, doing absolutely nothing, while everyone else is out there, discovering my past. It doesn’t seem fair to me. At least he wanted to bring me on this trip, but only because I am “leverage”. What bullshit is that? 

Adriel comes back in, announcing that Lucas is ready to go within the next 30 minutes, however he will follow us on his bike. 

I just nod as an answer, still hanging on to my irritation. Getting up from the kitchen table, I help Sera clean, before heading to the bathroom, getting ready to leave. I just pull on a simple, white t-shirt, black pants and a red belt to not completely look like Adriel. He is also wearing black trousers and a white shirt, and we can’t help but laughing at our similar choices in clothing, and I let go of my anger. 

Lucas honks from the driveway, and Adriel and I hurry to the entrance to wear our coats and shoes, sera hesitantly trailing behind us. She still hasn’t really said anything, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. But when I bid her goodbye, she all of a sudden takes me into a warm embrace. First, I stiffen, having not expected her reaction at all, but then I relax, hugging her back. A warm sensation spreading through my body and I can’t help but letting a silent tear fall. When she lets go, I can see her eyes are wet too, and she whispers “good luck” to me, before disappearing back to the kitchen. 

I turn around, looking at Adriel, who has observed the scene from the open doorway, a strange expression on his face. He reaches out his hand towards me, I take it, and let him lead me to the car, his warmth spreading up through my hand. 

Once he starts the car, he finally put words on what is on his mind. 

“My mum barely hugs me. I haven’t seen her this well since my dad passed.” 

I silently nod, thinking back to that awkward first time I met her. Everything had seemed so stiff and wrong when I first met her. Now she is talking and agreeing to do things with me, and love cooking for me and Adriel. 

“I am really happy you’ve made such huge impact on her. I… you’ve actually managed to do what Ari and I couldn’t.” I can hear the guilt is thick in his voice. 

“Adriel, I don’t think what you and Ari did was wrong. You all suffered when your father died, and you had different ways to deal with it. It should’ve been your mum who was there for you. But how could any of you know what it meant to lose a fated mate? And sometimes it has to be a person from the outside who changes things, not from the inside.” 

Adriel takes his eyes off the road to look at me for a second. 

“Thank you, Esme. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it like this. I am so happy you and my mum get along so well and that it helps her. I just wished that he was here too. That he could meet you. I think he would’ve loved you.”  

I can’t help but smile. 

“This really means a lot, Adriel. I really enjoy spending time with your mum, too. You should know, it also means so much to me to have her, like I get a second change to, you know, have a mother in my life.” I can feel my cheeks redden a bit, admitting it. But that’s how I feel. 

“Not because I am trying to steal her away from you of course.” I laugh, and he laughs with me. 

The sound of the motorcycle takes us out of our conversation, and I notice we have already left the city, soon driving in the forest where Adriel took me the other week. Lucas is following us on a black and silvery, streamlined bike, a big helmet over his head, and dressed in leather, which is a change from his usual jacket and tie. 

“I never imagined Lucas driving one of these.” I nod my head in his direction. 

“No, he doesn’t seem the type, right? But a lot of my people in the pack actually do it. It is an easier way to get around, especially in the middle of the city. And it is a lot of fun too.” 

“But I bet it can also go very wrong, can’t it? Aren’t you ever afraid to fall?” 

“Esme, you know one of the good things about being a werewolf is having amazing reaction, right?”

“But still.” I mumble, deciding to ask him more about the pack. 

“What other functions does a pack have? Do you do anything special like trading something, or solving crimes perhaps? Ari said something once which sounded like you are a detective, or something?” 

He laughs, shaking his head. 

“I am not a detective. But yes, our pack has a special service, and I overlook that. I lead this city’s secret army, with Ari’s help of course.”

“Secret army? Why do you have that? And is it only our pack?” 

“We have it after the first time the warlocks came, and we barely survived. And no, both humans and the other packs in the city have people training in it. All the best fighters are sent to me.”  

“Are you that good in combat?” I ask, having never really thought of Adriel as the violent type. 

“I am the best.” He answers with a smug smile, “Though Ari will, of course, beg to differ. But I still beat her.” 

“Oh, Moon Goddess, you must really find me useless then. I am not even capable of doing a pushup.”

His hand is all of a sudden on my thigh, caressing it gently. 

“No, my Luna, I find you strong in so many ways. Maybe not physically, but what you’ve showed me emotionally so far has really amazed me. You have all the rights and excuses in the world to creep inside a cave and hide just like my mother used to do. But you don’t. You want to know about yourself. And I know you want to be helpful, to be part of the process.”

And oh, is he right. I really don’t want to sit with my hands in my lap, doing nothing. But I know I still have a fragile mind, the last panic attack I had still feels very real. No matter how many times Adriel tells me otherwise, I still can’t help thinking that he must tire of me at one point. Like this morning where I had to turn him down. Or the dream I had this night, which has me shivering right now. 

“I know that look, Esme, and I want you to stop thinking these things. I want you. No matter how broken you are. Or how hard we have to fight to make it work. Ill protect you, always. You don’t have to fight with your hands, as long as you continue to fight with your mind.” 

I know he is right, and I try to comfort myself, but our quest ahead suddenly feels very frightening for me. I try to convince myself that I have a strong mind, just like he said, but it is easier said than done.

“Will you promise me two things?” I barely whisper. 

“Anything baby.” 

“Will you promise me to not let me go, no matter what we discover today?”

“Yes, I have promised you this ever since I found you.” 

“Thank you. And will you promise me to show me your secret army soon? I need to feel more integrated in your life.” 

“I understand baby, and I will show you everything. But let’s take it one step at a time. I also need to introduce you to the rest of the pack.” 

I nod, already dreading this a bit. What if they don’t like me? They probably won’t accept such a weak nobody as their Luna. I don’t even know anyone but Adriel and his family. And Tinka, of course. She and I have been sending each other Snaps ever since yesterday. I really enjoy spending time with her already. Now that I think about it, she accepted me immediately. Will the rest of Adriel’s pack be the same way? Do they cherish the bond of fated mating high enough for me to be accepted? I wonder how they had felt about Adriel’s parents.  

“What are you thinking about, babe?” Adriel has caught my lost eyes. 

“Just… how your pack will feel about me. I can’t even shapeshift. How did they feel about your parents’ bond?” I ask, before he gives me yet another pep talk. 

“Deep down, every werewolf long for their fated mate, so when it happens, people always accept it, even though it might happen to wolves from different, maybe even rivaling, packs. It has been known to settle things between rigid packs, just as much as it has been known to stir up conflicts.” 

“But how about your parents? How did they find each other?” 

“My grandfather was the Alpha of the Emerald Moon Pack, before my father, and his father was before him. But we always used to roam the forests. My grandad took us to the city when the forest became floated with all sorts of enemies, like vampires and warlocks. My dad met my mum in the city, she was from the Purple Moon Clan, a clan which has resided in the city for generations. They, originally, weren’t fan of our pack’s coming, but as you know, it is the humans who has the main control, and they accepted us in the city. Everything settled down when my parents met, and we have a great bond with the pack today. My mum was the only daughter of the Purple Moon Clan’s Alpha.” 

“So, your parents basically fixed their entire clans’ problems?” I ask deprived.

“Esme, why are you so obsessed with fixing everything? Why won’t you relax and get the help you need to fix yourself first?” 

“Because without helping I am truly nothing, Adriel. Without helping you truly don’t need me. You have every reason to turn me out. And I hate that.” Angry tears are now rapidly streaming down my cheeks, and I let them, turning my red face towards him, not hiding my frustration this time.  

“Don’t you think I hate being this insecure? But I don’t have anything to pour my self-esteem into, except for you. And I barely know you.” I ad. 

Adriel looks truly hurt when I say this.

“Listen Esme, I know this is hard. But I also know that you have felt the same mating bond as I have. It is like I have known you for a lifetime. And I know what you want to say now,” 

he holds up a hand, when he sees my mouth opening in protests, 

“but this is the way I feel. When I look at you, I see a beautiful, brave, caring, young woman, whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but I am not leaving. And I am trying to show you this through every single action I make towards you. If I had let my heart and feelings take control, I had either locked you away so that nobody could hurt you again or kept you within my eyes reach every single time at day. But I know these things would be just as hurtful to you, so I won’t. I am trying to show you my seriousness by bringing you with me today, for example.”

“But how can you tell me that you know it would be hurtful for me to be locked away, when I still have to ask permission for going anywhere?” I ask, annoyed. 

“Esme, I know this isn’t optimal. But I have to keep you safe. I have to know you are with someone who can protect you. I am sorry, but you know nothing about fighting. And someone out there probably wants to hurt you for all we know. It has been quiet so far, but I am anticipating it is only the calm before the storm.” 

“Can Sera protect me?” My eyebrow is raised, arms crossed. 

“Yes baby. She’ll do anything for you. I know what you think, but my mum use to be a fighter. She was in the battle where I lost my father, too. My mum and I were actually fighting side by side.”

I finally give in on our argument. 

“I had no idea Sera could fight like that.” I murmur, eyes wide. 

“No, you wouldn’t think that when looking at her, right? But she used to be so strong. There is a reason why Ari and I are so good at what we are doing.” Adriel smiles. 

“I am sorry for doubting you like this all the time, Adriel. I just can’t always help my insecurities.”  

“It is okay, Esme, I understand. No one’s fixed after just one week when they’ve gone through what you have. I’ve never actually asked you what it was like in that apartment?” 

Some part of me really doesn’t want to talk about it. Another really wants to share everything about me with him. I bite my lip, feeling something tightening in my breast. Stammering, I say,

“He never fed me much, I was always starving, always cold. He could leave me alone for days, chained to the wall like you found me. I was just used for some experiments. Most of them just required my blood. I had no idea what they were actually doing.” 

“They?” 

“Yes, the Warlock often had visitors. Always other warlocks. They were almost worse to me than he was.” I look down, a shiver is running down my spine and new, fresh tears are entering my eyes. but I feel Adriel’s strong hand just above my knee, giving it a squeeze, before slowly stroking my thigh forth and back. 

“Don’t you see how brave you are just by willingly talk to me about this?” He whispers, and nothing better than this could ever have been said to me to comfort me. I feel myself warming up from the inside and out, looking up at him. Even though he still has to concentrate about the road, he manages to send me a smile, looking at me. And I let this feeling of security and happiness and unbelievable trust overwhelm me. My anger and annoyance with him from just moments ago have disappeared from my body. I even let myself think that it might not be as bad to visit my old, unknown hometown, as long as he is with me. Relaxing, I almost close my eyes, just as I glimpse the first show of a small town in the nearer distance between the trees. I sit back up, feeling my heart starts pumping faster. 

We are here.