Rabbit Hole (Romantic-Suspense)

Chapter 44: Guilt

Chapter 44: Guilt

Alice’s POV

As we get nearer the bar, I roam around the surroundings. Pulling out the cash to pay for my fee, I looked at each face that is passing by the busy street and the faces that are visible from the restaurants parallel to the bar’s rows.

Looking out for two types of people that could identify and hinder my plans—Clyde’s people who are still might be after Mae, the brawn and the brain, and Lennox’s people—George, or anyone under his wing that could hold me down. And so, to avoid getting recognized by any of those types, I got out of the cab, tucking in my hat deeper, and put my face mask on.

“Please, Mae. You got to be f*cking here.” I mumbled, determine to enter the bar in broad daylight. Figuring this out wasn’t as easy as it seems if not by the table cloth beneath the table setting.

It was so familiar, that it was the first thing I noticed the moment I laid my eyes on the picture which Lennox showed when he was trying to get a clue from what I know.

And as far as I can remember, I can from all the bars Mae took me with—this is by the most memorable one. Because aside from being far from where we were staying before, Mae had to steal that table cloth because she lost in a bet against me. Causing me to dare her to do it, and then assuming the bar’s name screams Russian all over it.

I realized what Mae was telling me.

They must be in here. I thought, gritting my teeth in anxiousness, pushing the bar’s door open. The cozy lounges give off a breathable air, making me feels like despite being lifeless and quiet, the empty floor, seats, and halls bring relief.

Looking around, my eyes eventually focus on the innermost center of the space that in all class and elaborate interior design, there I saw a woman inside the bar, wiping off beer glasses with a piece of cloth. Approaching her, seeing no one other than her is here, I cleared my throat which got her attention.

“Hmm?” Scanning eyes looking at the door before looking up and down at me with a pair of arching brows, “Too late for last night’s party huh?” with a sarcastic remark that’s too obvious to hide in the air.

Quite taken back, I scanned the room and saw their table cloths have changed. Well, that table cloth was stolen a year ago so it’s not surprising.

“Oh—no, I’m here to look for a friend,” I said, leaning my hands on the bar, looking intently with her with the clear hope that she knows something with what I’m saying.

She puts down the glass and cloth, judging me with both piercing eyes. Skeptical of me, then the hope boils harder as I realized why of all the places, this is where Mae chooses to make me go. Mae must have known and trust this woman because of her keenness—

“A friend? Interesting, since when did this bar become a lost and found center?” The woman said, which raises my brows and throws me in confusion.

Wait? Didn’t I get the clue right? I thought, rethinking the clue Mae left.

But that’s how we used to leave a clue for each other—we made sure the real clue is not what a person would notice first.

And that table setting clue—I’m sure, the true clue lies in the table cloth—

“No matter how small or big the details are, they matter.” Then, I saw a scene when my younger self, a seven-year-old perhaps, told that to Mae who was at the same age that time—but the weird thing is I don’t remember myself, smiling eerily after saying that and making her cry afterward with fright in her eyes.

What the heck—was that an imagination? Wait, I don’t remember those words first coming out from my mouth—in fact, I remember her telling me the same line when we were a bit older in aunt’s house when we’re sneaking out—tsk. Alice focus, this isn’t the time to think about the past.

In an attempt to say another word to clarify my intentions here, the moment keeps her walls higher and got me blocked by saying,

“Go and make a report to the police. I ain’t got time baby talking with you.” She said that frustrates me in time.

“What did you—ugh, I’m here to look for Mae and Aunt Mary, and don’t you know them?” I rattled back, feeling the urgency to meet them now. Then, she looks at me again and leans closer to the bar.

“What’s your name?” She asked,

“Alice, Alice Gomez—“

“Oh, so you’re the ‘Alice’, huh?” Cutting me off, as she looks more closely at me, scanning me from head to toe again multiple times before saying, “Show me your I.D” She said.

To satisfy her curiosity that I wasn’t sure anymore is trustworthy, I pulled out my ID card and slide it on the bar to her. Then she grabs it back and flips it to see if it’s legit.

After checking it, she then slides back to me. Catching it, the woman smiled a little and chews her gum.

“Alright, sorry not sorry for being rude.” The woman said, clapping her hands in the air, looking back at me. I immediately turned around and saw a big guy, the bouncer, is closing the door shut.

“What are you gaping around there for? Come here.” Then, I turned back at the woman who’s now opening the bar’s door. Inviting me in, walking closely, she then introduces herself as we walked in the door to the bar’s kitchen.

“Aunt Mary’s my mother’s cousin. That’s why I’m making sure she’s safe—oh, by the way, I’m Lindsay Libu, want a proof—“

She was about to get her ID card but what she had just said just raises my anxiety more.

“What do you mean, ‘making sure she’s safe’? Where is Mae?” I asked while she opens another door that reminds me of Lennox’s wine cellar.

Glancing back at me before going in, she says “Oh, they arrived here together but, Mae said she had something to do with the guy she was with who drove them here—“

“A guy?” I asked, caught on guard.

“Yeah? A guy,” Lindsay said, casually walking deep into the wine cellar. Walking behind her, passing by the lifeless shelves I couldn’t help but think suspicious of the space and at the same time think of Lennox’s wine cellar.

Is this even be the best place to hide someone? I asked myself, preparing my stun gun, strap around my waist just in case something happens.

“So, who’s that guy?” I asked, but then Lindsay glanced at me quickly and turns her head forward again, saying,

“Sorry, I forgot to ask, I was so focused on helping Aunt Mary that time that I couldn’t bring myself to ask about that guy.” With an apologetic tone, she then walks ahead of the hall after entering the door she just opened which I just followed cautiously behind.

A guy? Who—Clyde? But on second thought, I may not know how he treats Mae but I’m a hundred percent sure he’s hostile towards her. And that jerk doesn’t have anything to gain from her to do that favor.

So, who the f*ck is that guy?!

I asked, myself, wondering who of any other guy that could possibly help her out at that moment.

“Did she left any contact number I can use?” I asked when I couldn’t think of anyone besides the guy she was dating and was supposed to meet on my first day at my condo. Unfortunately, it’ll be more of a hassle for me if I’d use the time to search for someone whose name I’m not aware of.

Ugh, seriously, why didn’t I get to know about that guy? She always goes on date with him—anyways, asking Mae is faster and efficient—

“Unfortunately, no. she didn’t leave any,” Lindsay said, shuttering my hope in reaching her.

How am I going to contact her then?! Damn it—Mae, where are you?!

“Oh, but she left a note,” Lindsay said, before opening a door. A door that seems to lead outside the maze-like wine cellar room—dang, I bet getting out of this room is harder than getting out of an actual maze.

“A note?” I asked when Lindsay pushes the door out. Natural light passes through the gap—making me realized, and finally, picture out the bar’s intricate floor plan.

Behind the massive buildings around, a cabin at the back of the bar stands, with other two firewalls around and a gate from the other side that hides well what’s at the back of the bar.

“Yeah, hmm ah it’s with Aunt Mary.” Lindsay continued, looking at the cabin ahead. Truly, the view is either horrifying or magnificent to look at. If I just finished watching a horror movie that has a cabin in it, then I’d instantly thought this idea horrifying, but now that I don’t know what to feel, but excitement and fear of what to see after a long search, I stood still undecided when I realized, something’s off.

Looking abruptly at Lindsay whose eyes aren’t as intense as earlier, she sighs.

“Go on, now.” She said, but I didn’t move. Instead, I asked her—“How did aunty…how was she when they arrived here?” furthermore, why does she look hesitant on answering this question with those pitying eyes?

Then, Lindsay, stepped out, not answering my question as if she’s telling me to see the answer myself. Heaving a deep sigh, I stepped out and followed behind her again.

Walking down the steps from the cemented ground into the grass field one, I hold my breath steady until we stepped into the cabin’s wooden porch.

Glancing over me as she knocks three times on the wooden door, before opening the rusty doorknob, Lindsay then turns ahead and opened the door whole.

Silence lay like a down-filled duvet over the area, muffling the slightest sound and creating an atmosphere of total tranquility.

The quietness was almost tangible, no rustle of clothing, breathing slow and barely audible, even the once creaking of the building settling was stilled as though to order.

Thanks to the natural lighting by the morning sun, I could vividly see the simple setup of the bed just right beside the window. Because of the cabin’s small building footprint and area, the only thing that’s keeping the occupant moving is the bathroom, mini kitchen, and dining table—but with all these things, my eyes instantly fell right into my aunt.

Aunt Mary who’s sitting on a rocking chair, staring blankly through the window is the only thing she could see is the tall tree standing right next to the cabin.

And when I realized her condition went downhill, the guilt that has been stabbing my heart, dig deeper. If only I had courage back then to fight back against my brothers—would I be able now to protect her and Mae from them?

Shivering as guilt showered upon my shoulders, I run out of the cabin. I thought, my heart’s prepared to meet her and apologize for everything that’s happening—all thanks to me who’s up until now is a coward.

But never have I expected that just seeing her like that would give me much more pain than I have anticipated. I wanted to kneel and apologize, but I know—apologizing won’t change her current condition.

Shivering, I squeeze my eye shut as my breathing labored—trying to deal with the grief from seeing her paralyzed, almost lifeless state—my knees weekend, falling on my knees. I curled down, sitting crouching on the porch’s step, covering my mouth in from groaning in pain, not wanting to let out even subtle cries.

Then a pair of shoes came and passes by me after Lindsay stepped out, saying “Go in.” Lifting my gaze up to the seeming nurse that came, I understood that Lindsay was talking to her. Taking it as her cue, the nurse went into the cabin.

“How is she? Are there anything I could help with—“

“Here, this is the note Mae left.” Lindsay cut me off and gave me a piece of paper with coordinates written on it. Nonetheless, I tried to keep asking about aunt but Lindsay cut me off again.

“How about aunt—“

“No, everything’s alright. Don’t worry, anyways, I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you ahead.” She said, sighing heavily.

“Her condition worsens from the last time I saw her, I don’t know what happened, but I can guarantee her safety here and treatment here.” She added, and when I was about to talk, she goes on again and said—

“But, I just want to make something clear, Alice.” With a firm tone that stopped me.

“I won’t step in and stick my nose in your business. The only reason why I let you in here is that Mae told me so. And, to stop looking for aunt, look here. I know you’re dead worried about her and I can see that. But leave her to me and go search for Mae. Please, do me this favor and get that b*tch back in here. That girl must have gotten herself in some nuisance mess that even her mother is having trouble hiding from—hey? Are you alright?” Lindsay paused when she noticed I’m standing here frozen.

“Y-yes…anyways. Thank you, Lindsay.” I uttered, looking down. Embarrassed that even after going this far, I can’t bring myself to confess that it is I who got them in this trouble.

Alice, you coward.

“I’ll make sure to find Mae, and I’m sorry,” I said, mouth trembling.

“Sorry? What for? I’m the one who’s asking you a favor, you don’t have anything to be sorry for.” She stated, putting her hand on my shoulder that made me flinched. But then, she leans closer and looked me sternly at my eyes.

“Or else, you know something about this mess, deeper than I thought…” She said that made me stop breathing in tension. Thankfully, shortly after, she stood up straight and pats my shoulder to relax.

“Well, anyway. I said what I said. I won’t be nosy and pry. So, let’s go now. Just promise me you’d bring that girl back with better explanations.” She said, stepping out of the porch towards the wine building’s door that we used to get in here.

“Y-yes,” I uttered, as the guilt eats every inch of me. Seeing aunt that way, I instantly understood how much of an awful person I am. But then, as much as I couldn’t afford the time to waste on self-pity.

I lifted up the note, with the coordination of a possible location where Mae is.

Land bearing?…is this her location? Wait, how did Mae come up with this? This isn’t even her handwriting. She may be wise to leave a clue but I never knew she knows how to use coordinates—unless…

Then, what Lindsay, told me about a certain person Mae came with earlier echoed in my head that lead me to think that that person wasn’t only helping her carry aunt but must be hiding her too, “Sorry, I forgot to ask, I was so focused on helping Aunt Mary that time that I couldn’t bring myself to ask about that guy.”

That guy, who is he? Is he helping Mae hide? Is he the one who wrote these coordinates?

Thinking hard, even though I know that none of these questions won’t get answered by themselves not unless I go—I bit my lips and chews in the fear.

Dang, I need more time. I thought thinking of how can I distract Lennox once more to go and track this location.