The Alpha Twins Can't Have Me

Chapter 8: Confessions

Juniper POV

I sighed as I got into my favourite Ursula pajamas and brushed my hair. Reaper wriggled beside me, watching intently as he sat between my crossed legs on the floor.

I patted him absentmindedly.

"Can you believe the nerve of that b***h," I commented dryly and then faked her voice, "Draven, it hurts so much. I can't walk; I need you to hold me," I mocked. "Next time, bite her harder," I told Reaper, who blinked at me as though he understood the assignment.

I looked between the bed and then the balcony where the breeze made the curtains move softly against the open doors.

I inhaled sharply.

I'd never enjoyed sleeping in a bed, not if I could help it.

I'd always slept in trees or outside. I liked to look at the stars and smell the familiar scent of dirt and pine. It soothed me. It comforted me in a way I could never explain.

Reaper whined beside me, perhaps sensing the change in my mood.

"I want to sleep outside," I whispered, vehemently aware of the guards that the twins had not so subtly posted outside the door. "I want to feel the fresh air against my skin. I want to look at the stars and remember that there is a vast world out there, just waiting to be explored."

I stood up abruptly and then shimmied out of my clothes.

They were too restricting.

Reaper moved out of the way and watched me with such intensity, I wondered if he understood what I was doing.

I grabbed the duvet cover off the bed and several pillows. I wrapped the duvet around myself and then strode confidently onto the balcony.

The moment I breathed in the fresh air, I relaxed.

Heaven.

I lay down, adjusting the pillows around me, and gave a soft squeal of delight.

Reaper climbed underneath the covers and snuggled against me.

"I need a treehouse," I murmured drowsily, "one that prevents annoying Alphas from entering."

The door slowly opened.

Speak of the devil.

The twins appeared.

For a moment they looked confused and then spotted me lying on the balcony.

"Oh, hell no," Malakai growled, moving towards me. "You are not spending the night on the balcony. Get into bed, Juniper," he demanded.

Draven folded his arms across his chest and glowered at me.

"No," my voice grew stubborn, "I like it out here. Don't make me sleep in that torture contraption," I pointed at the bed, looking thoroughly wounded.

Malakai glanced at the bed and wrinkled his nose.

"You don't like to sleep in beds?" he commented with a puzzled expression on his face. "then were do you sleep?"

"Balconies, trees, caves," I shrugged drowsily, "anywhere the desire takes me."

"Get in the bed," Draven announced succintly, "it's cold on the floor, and you'll get sick."

"No," I rolled on my side, my back facing them.

The conversation was over as far as I was concerned.

I heard Draven let out a splutter behind me as the duvet slipped down my shoulder slightly, exposing my bare flesh.

"Are you naked under that?" he growled.

"As nude as the day I was born," I grumbled, "and trying to sleep, I might add."

Strangled noises from the two boys behind me.

"God, Juniper, are you trying to kill us?"

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already," I huffed, "keep interrupting my sleep though and I make no promises."

I valued my sleep.

"Fine, then we'll sleep with you," Malaka's voice was remarkably calm.

"Not enough room," I said bluntly.

"We'll make room."

"You're too big, and I like my privacy."

"Too bad," Malaka lifted me and moved me, getting behind me and resting a hand over my waist, his head dropping onto the nearest pillow.

His hand was surprisingly warm even above the blanket.

I tried not to purr, enjoying the feel of it.

He moved close behind me, and I could feel his legs pressed against mine.

I didn't speak. I couldn't. I knew I should push him away, but my body was already betraying me, relaxing against him as though it was perfectly natural.

"I am not sleeping on the floor," Draven snapped, "this is insane. Where's your self-respect, Malakai?"

"Sleep on the bed then," Malakai answered easily, "but I'm spending the night holding my mate. Do what you want," he shrugged.

Draven hissed and then stomped to the bed. I heard him climb into it and curse as he realized I'd stolen all the covers.

He moodily got back up and stormed from the room, coming back with several blankets and settling himself back on the bed.

Malakai kissed my forehead with a tenderness that stunned me for a moment.

Nobody had kissed me like that before. Not even my own mother, who had the maternal instinct of a gnat, and that was putting it politely.

My father had always been distant, agreeable to anything my mother said and copying her actions.

Caelan was the only one who ever treated me with affection or love.

I missed him already.

I shifted on the floor, and Reaper growled.

Malakai stiffened.

"Is Reaper under there?"

"Yep, so don't make any sudden movements or he might bite you in a certain part of your anatomy you hold dear," I answered breezily.

He stilled.

I closed my eyes, feeling peaceful.

"Juniper," Malakai whispered, "will you ever accept us as your mates?"

I sighed.

"I told you already, the mate bond doesn't speak to me. I've never let anybody get too close to me, because it only hurts when they leave. I don't do relationships, Malakai," I confessed, aware that Draven was listening to every word, "because I don't know how. Caelan was the only one who cared about me properly and the only one who knew how to love me without strings attached."

"That sounds lonely," Malakai whispered with regret behind me.

"I had the animals who wandered the forest, I had the stars to look at, and I had the freedom to explore the woods and act like myself. Sure, it was lonely," my voice was slightly thick now, "but the alternative was much worse. Being forced to be somebody you aren't is the worst kind of prison."

Silence.

My mother had spent years trying to change me. To force me into a role I had never wanted or asked for. To dress me up like a doll with no brain or intelligence of her own. She'd tried to teach me etiquette, rules, how to run a household, and what a perfect Luna should act like.

The moment I grew old enough to fight back, to protest, I'd diminished her dreams and then snuffed them out, leaving her confused as to why I didn't want to become like her.

I hadn't been able to get through to her. I hadn't been able to express the way my body felt as it walked on soft grass, the way I adored the creatures who seemed to seek me out, the way the trees almost seemed to whisper to me.

I did not want to be tamed. I did not want to be forced to become what they defined as normal.

I wanted to live life my way.

I wanted to live in the moment, to celebrate the nature surrounding me and refuse to conform to societal norms.

I wanted the freedom to be myself.

"I would never want you to feel like you're in prison," Malakai murmured behind me,

"They all say that at the start," my voice grew sad, "then it changes eventually and I become an embarrassment, somebody to hide away as if I'm shameful. I don't dare to believe you're different."

He hugged me closer, his breath in my ear.

"I will never restrict you, Juniper. I will never give you reason to doubt me. Just let me protect you," he vowed, "let me keep you from being harmed."

"I don't need protection, Malakai," I whispered, closing my eyes, "I just need somebody to see things from my perspective."

I fell asleep, both boys continuing to look at me as though I was a puzzle they couldn't solve.

Reaper snuggled further under the blanket, refusing to let Malakai touch him.

Draven shut his eyes, but sleep eluded him.

All he could hear was the pain in my voice and the resignation.

It wasn't enough to deter him from doing what he thought was right.

Too bad all it did was cause further complications and prove my point.

Nobody would ever see the real me; nobody would ever accept me for who I was.

Just Reaper and the animals who sought me out.

If this was my life, then so be it.

It was better than being disappointed over and over again.

Better than getting my heart broken.