Butterfly Effect

4. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Alyeska

Do you know those pathetic dream boards you make with images you want to come true? Well, in middle school, I had the biggest crush on Aladden Lorenzo. I put his smug a*s face on there and was cursed with hearts in my eyes.

Too bad junior high came around and that fucker turned into an epic bastard with a capital B branded on his sweet a*s. It was also the first year he ever broke a state record; he was only fifteen at the time, and I was still wearing cartoon t-shirts.

But damn, we hit high school, and the dude had a book deal, a documentary, and had been interviewed on every morning show in the country. When he was seventeen, he saved four kids from a burning classroom at the local elementary school.

To be fair, a garbage can was on fire, and totally contained. Any janitor in the district could have dumped mop water on it and done the same thing. But when the world already thinks you are a hero, any tiny act of goodness gets exploited to the highest degree.

I guess that made people like him lucky, and people like me severally unfortunate.

Sure, I heard after my accident he was the one to save us. Well, save me. My mother was a goner. It was incredible and ridiculous all at the same time. This fucker could do no wrong and I hated him for it. Hated him for seeing the frail shape my mom died in, repulsed the way he got honored from my tragedy.

It made me feel inferior, weak even.

Lad was milking this world for everything they would give him, and they did give him anything he wanted.

A full-ride scholarship to college, national sponsors, free swag from all the major sporting brands, and a bonus of being wanted in all kinds of ways.

I’m not blind, the fucker has looks.

Maybe that’s why I did what I did on graduation night. I don’t remember driving too fast or hitting Lad’s truck. Everything the cops told me made me confused, it didn’t make sense, but there weren’t memories to back up my claims.

So when they agreed to drop the charges of drunk driving down to probation if I went to a rehabilitation facility, I agreed. My bum leg needed a rest, and I guess six months in intensive care and physical therapy didn’t sound too bad. Plus another six months going to group therapy to cure me of drinking alcohol ever again, and getting some much needed space from this world couldn’t hurt.

Maybe it would even help me erase the face of my dead mother from my nightmares. The only family I held onto now was a cousin who lived an hour away; she had a boyfriend and two kids.

But I didn’t want to weigh her down, so I took the deal, even if we both knew it wasn’t the truth. Because the truth these days is hard to figure out when you don’t have all the details.

Lad and I are partners in our anthropology class. I don’t know what his major is, but he is a year ahead of me and pretends I am a chlorine burn on his precious skin. Most of my graduating year are starting sophomores, but I had to take a detour and reconfigure things. Yet, I am still here, even if it is a year late and a few more marks on my criminal record than I am comfortable with. But can’t change the past now.

He told me to meet him in the library at ten. Lad has morning practices; I know this mainly because I hear him complain about them to the teacher every morning during class.

“Are you serious with this s**t?” Long gone is the people-pleasing girl, and when I woke up in the hospital, I knew even if I looked the same I was changed completely.

Lad is not discreet in any situation, including getting his d**k sucked next to our study table.

“Oh.”

“My.”

“God.” His words and mine match up perfectly for once, though for different reasons.

In the back of the library, in broad daylight a woman is willingly on her knees sucking Lad’s c**k.

“Sorry, this is my only free time and I’m stressed out. Give us a minute to finish up.” Lad’s brown eyes find me through his s****l haze. “Unless you want to join.” The asshole winks at me while he has another woman’s mouth on his flagpole of flesh.

“Oh, thank you for the offer, but sadly, I only mess around with guys who have d***s bigger than my pinky. Personal standards, you understand, right?” I lift my backpack on the table and unzip to grab my notebook and textbook.

Lad snorts and goes back to business.

“How’s it going, Mona?” She is a chick, with a blonde bob from high school; honestly, most of the kids we know probably came to this state university.

Call it tradition, I call it convenience.

It is a good school if you want someone to respect your resume one day. But I doubt that is why these two are here. They probably came to continue out their glory days and party nights.

Good for them, their dreams have always been so bright compared to my realistic ones, like a career or something silly.

The lady on her knees pops off and wipes the spit from her mouth. Lad continues to pump his d**k in his hand, hard.

“Going well, can’t complain. Did you pass that test in calculus?” Mona might not be her real name; it is just what loads of guys call her. But she doesn’t take offense to the nickname, not the same way I do at being called Alaska.

I’ve come out of my shell a bit since starting the new semester two months ago. Six months ago, I would have hidden in the nearest bathroom, mortified at the public s****l act I was witnessing, but now I couldn’t give two shits and lost all sense of embarrassment.

My social skills have been working so well, in fact, that people I have gone to school with since middle school have reintroduced themselves to me like we have never met before. Mona being one of them. It’s fun, like being a new person without the facelift or butt implant.

“Yup, what about you? I think I got like number twenty wrong.” I flip open the book to my notes I took in class and ignore the way Lad stares at the side of my head. Annoyed I interrupted his morning blowie.

“That one stumped me too.” Mona leans back further and gives me her attention instead of Lad. Poor guy. “How are things living with your cousin?”

“What is this social time? I’ve got an hour before my next class and I would really love it if you would make my balls explode down your throat. Pretty please, with no cherries, though, because we already popped them in junior high.” Lad laughs as he caresses Mona’s face, and his sweet talking gets her back to work.

“Disturbing.” I mutter.

“Is it because you still have yours, Alaska? Are you terrified it might hurt your image as a virgin to be f****d by men like me?” Lad’s voice drops and the lower it gets, the lower my eyes go on the length of his saliva stick.

“Oh my gosh? Can you tell? Is it my face or a tramp stamp that says hasn’t been f****d by an all-star? This is so embarrassing; I knew I should have worn my promise ring directly on my ‘go f**k yourself’ finger.” I fan my face, and fake mortification.

Mona laughs around Lad’s d**k, and I smile.

Checkmate, I’ve won this round.

It would shock me if this was the first time I saw his d**k, but it isn’t. I make the statement with enough regret to fill the Grand Canyon with revenge sprinkles.

“Awe there it is.” Lad is an i***t. He f*****g pats Mona’s head like a good woman doing her service to his country. It’s a tiny cruise ship, where I guess his only voyage is to land on exotic cunts.

Mona swallows his jizzy joy and straightens herself like this is a regular Tuesday.

“I’ve got to head to volleyball practice. See you later, Lad. Bye, Alyeska.” Wow, she even got my name right; this woman needs two gold stars for her victory laps this morning.

She wiggles her fingers at me, and I give her two thumbs up for her performance.

Women empowering women right here, ladies.

Mona pops gum in her mouth and I think she needs some bleach probably also, maybe a mint down the road or a tongue replacement.

Who knows where that drill goes a digging, if you know what I mean? I wink, awe s**t, I suck at winking; abort mission.

“Now can we begin?” Getting back to business, I notice we wasted twenty minutes on his personal happiness and I can’t afford to sacrifice anymore of mine for the douchebag of the decade.

“Can you give me five minutes to relax and enjoy my o****m?” His brown curls look lighter in the sunlight as he leans over to put himself away. Lad takes a big breath and exhales easily.

There is a calm that rushes over him, but I get stuck in how easy that feeling must be. For a minute, our eyes meet and he softens just for me, but then the scene is over and the asshole has resurfaced.

Warn the lifeguards because the snark remarks are back on base.

“Because that is how long it takes you to c*m?” I tilt my head to the side.

“And there it goes, the blissful high; tell me, Alaska when was the last time you got f****d?” Lad takes the seat across from me even though my feet claimed it before his buttocks did. “It doesn’t matter, next time let me know so I can ruin your good mood after.” Lad grabs his pen and starts doodling on the paper, clearly frustrated.

If I was a better person, I would back off, let him reign in the last of his endorphins, but gosh dang it, dookie. I don’t think I have it in me today to be the better person.

“You want me to let you know after I get f****d and get pleasured so intensely that my whole body is numb from the earth-shattering o****m?” I play this game better than anyone I know. I don’t know a lot of people, but I think I am hilarious.

Lad barely lifts an eyebrow at me.

“I will do that, if only to see you and remind me how lucky I am to not be another dead fish flopping around in your sea of many, many questionable catalogs of women who have seen you n***d and truly thought they were receiving a gift from some divine deity.” I perk up a smile and turn his workbook to the correct page.

“I’m asking to switch partners.” Lad deadpans to my face.

“I hope you do, because for my safety, at this point, Lad. I am worried I might catch an STD from just interacting with you.” I lean forward, pretending to add worry into my voice, watching a few other students pass by us. “I don’t even know if they have antibiotics to get rid of ding-a-ling d**k disease or entitled excrement ailment.” I give him an understanding nod and smile.

“Are you done?” Not one bit amused; maybe I am losing my touch.

“Yes, thank you for asking. I appreciate that.” I situate myself better in my seat as Lad produces this sad pout on his lips.

“You are seriously pouting when Mona was on her knees sucking your skin scepter, asshole? Have some appreciation for the woman who took time out of her busy schedule to lend you a hand, or in this case a mouth.” Because specifics matter here, people. The facts are what matters.

“Ugh...let’s get this s**t over with.” Lad stands up and moves to the seat next to me.

Another round won.

“Hey, quick question do you think you are good enough to swim professionally? Like for the Olympics or something?” It’s the last one, I promise on our lunch lady’s third n****e.

“I was on the junior team last year. Do you not follow my success like everyone else around here?” Lad straightens out his arm and leans over to look at my notes.

God, I can’t believe he thinks I am being serious. I bite my lips together to hold back the laughter.

“Right, well, I just didn’t know. I mean you were fast just now with Mona, so I didn’t know if you were super-fast in all your other abilities or just certain ones.” I am writing down a word, could be my name, could be the outline of boobs as eyeballs. But I don’t know because I am so proud of myself for not bursting out in maniacal laughter.

“Jesus Christ, Alaska. Are you always a b***h or am I just the lucky bastard you picked as your victim today?” Poor, poor Aladden, I bet he wishes he could rub his magic lamp and ask his genie to make me disappear.

Now that I think about it…Aladden…rubbing magic lamp. Man, I am on a roll today with d**k nicknames!

“Chill, you need to relax more.” Getting back to the topic at hand, our project for the term.

“I was trying to, but you ruined it.” Awe, still mad about it, I can tell.

“Don’t schedule your blowjobs during our project time, and we won’t have a problem, three for five.” I use air quotes to get my point across.

“Three for five?” But he doesn’t even bother trying to figure it out on his own.

“Yes, three pumps for five minutes.” Lad glares at me with a new hate. “It gets you there.” If my calculations are correct and they seem to be seeing as the steam blooming out his ears.

“Why were you staring at my d**k?”

“You weren’t shy about hiding it. Why would I be shy about looking at it? It’s not anything special. You’ve seen other guys d***s, right? For comparison purposes.” Oh, what do you know my little doodle is a mountain with a little ski lift?

“Did it turn you on, you perv?” Wow, that one hit hard, right into my third-grade ego.

“I’m the p*****t? Are you serious? This is a public library, Aladden Lorenzo.” I spread my arms wide around us. “Besides it tilts to the sky a bit.” Back to the slopes of sunny days drawing. I smack my lips satisfied with the image.

“It does not,” Lad counters.

But I only shrug, not giving him more.

“Why do you live with your cousin, Alaska?” Lad’s voice is neutral, but I can’t trust it.

“I don’t live with her. I’m homeless.” It’s mostly true. I wiggle my eyebrows before ignoring the subject entirely, and he knows the right word to shut me up and study.

“Whatever.” Lad points out a few topics we can cover and when our time is up, we are both late for our next classes. We rush to set up a time for next week and as I shove my book in my bag, I make one last threat.

“If you ask to switch partners with me, I will tell the professor you are racist. I doubt you want that to tag along on your gleaming reputation.” I swing my backpack strap over my shoulder.

“My grandma is from Mexico.” Lad’s expression is priceless. Like how a quarter Hispanic man, who doesn’t look like he has any degrees of any foreign nationality, could possibly be a bigot.

Maybe bigot it is stretch, but the pretty boy in front of me has always been afraid what people would think of him if they knew he held other lines than the pure European genealogy of his mother.

“And I am half Japanese mixed with a few Indigenous tribes. We’re practically soulmates.” I go up on my toes with a smile. “Plus, I don’t like anyone else in our class.”

“You don’t like me, Alaska.” Lad rolls his brown eyes; what a shame he wastes all these good looks on being beautiful and petty, the perfect combination for America’s sweetheart, instead of a male escort, his true calling.

“True, but if it makes you feel better, I don’t like you least of all.” It’s a simple explanation that I don’t want to expand on at the current moment.

“Makes perfect sense.” Lad walks in front of me and even holds the door for me.

Shit, I should drop my shorts right now for him. I hope he doesn’t mind a screamer on his team of bandits he has banged.

“I thought so.” Too cheerful for my own good.

“See you next week, Alaska,” I swear his voice sounds disappointed, maybe because he doesn’t want us to wait that long without seeing each other. A vapid girl with no morals could only hope.

But I assume it is because I’ve become his worst nightmare, and I love reminding him of it, every chance I can.

The best part about Lad is he never brings up that night he found me in the ditch with my dead mother, and I don’t either, which makes us great partners.