Rising From The Ashes of Her Past

Bodies

I close the door behind me, stepping into the room that is entirely too much. Everything is entirely too much. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to go wrong, but it seems to be heading up. Maybe I had finally reached the point that people would call rock bottom. I would keep my job, I had a phone now, a car that I could borrow. A small part of me felt this was far more than I deserved, but a loud part tells me it should have been this way the entire time.

I had half an hour to go through and organize the things that Rachel had brought for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to open the bags. My mind was somewhere else, miles from here. Lost in thoughts from years ago. The hug in the kitchen had broken a dam in my mind, and now the only thoughts swirling in my head were about my sister. Had my mother known she was dead? Where was my sister, would she ever get a proper burial. If my mother knew about my sister she didn’t deserve a good place to rest. My feet move without prompting, I follow my instinct down the other side of the hallway, a side I had not gone in before. The door at the end is slightly ajar, and something tells me it is my destination. I stop before the door and knock lightly.

“Come in!” Jackson’s voice booms from the other side of the door. I push the door open and enter the room, Jackson and Ashe both look up at me from the desk they sit at.

“Sorry to intrude, I can come back if I need to.” I say dropping my gaze to the floor.

“It’s no intrusion, what’s on your mind.” Jackson says, moving the paper from in front of him, giving me his full attention.

“Well.. I just, I just wanted to ask if you had someone looking for my sister sir,” I say, my voice still a little timid, “I just want to know that she is going to have a good resting place..”

Ashe’s eyes soften, his hands clench together at his side before he drops his gaze to the floor avoiding looking at me. Jackson looks a little taken aback by my question, but answers, “Well actually, I wanted to wait until after dinner to tell you, but we found her remains early this morning.”

Ashe’s eyes snap to his father, anger flashes in them. Someone speaks, but it sounds like it is coming through water, my vision grows black around the edges. Ashe is by my side faster than I would think possible and he has a grip on my arm. My legs have gone weak, his grip is the only thing keeping me from hitting the floor. Blackness envelops my vision, and I feel strong arms lift me before I lose consciousness.

My eyes open, in an unfamiliar room, some sort of study. I feel a leather couch until my hand and realize I am looking at the ceiling. A beautiful set of amber eyes appear in front of my face, his hair falls from behind his shoulders tickling my cheeks. A giggle bubbles in my throat at the sensation, but concern is etched on the beautiful face above me so I stifle it down. I notice for the first time that his lush pink lips are moving quickly. He is speaking? Speaking to me. I shake my head trying to clear the fog that surrounds me.

“Maye! Maye!” Ashe’s voice pierces through the fog, surrounding me. My eyebrows furrow, why is he shouting? “Maye, are you alright?”

“Ashe, give her some space.” Jackson’s smooth voice sounds from further away in the room. To my dismay the beautiful face above me disappears at the words. I sit up, still a little unsteady, I feel a warm hand pressed into my back. I blink a few times before the memories flood in.

“Where was she? My sister, where was she?” My voice doesn’t sound like my own.

“We found her remains near our borders. Your mother kept a journal..” Jackson lets his voice trail off before taking a deep breath to continue, “She wrote about how she had buried your sister near a stream so she would have a good place to rest after Raymond took his punishment of her too far one night.”

“I want her moved. I want her next to my father.” My voice is hollow, my pulse is drumming in my ears. “I want my sister right next to her father, and my mother and Raymond can be dumped as far away from them as possible.”

Jackson seems surprised by my response, and Ashe is looking at me with the look of

pity again, and again it feels like someone has set fire to my skin. “You can stop looking at me like that, I am not something to be pitied.”

I turn to leave, but before I reach the door it swings open revealing a smiling Rachel announcing the arrival of pizza completely oblivious to the conversation happening behind closed doors. Rachel’s brows knit together, noticing me in the room, and her eyes dart between the three of us, I murmur an apology then make my way into the hallway without meeting her eye again. I don’t stop or turn around until I reach the door that I am supposed to be sleeping behind. I push through finally able to make myself look in the bags. Needing any sort of distraction that I can, I pour all four bags onto the end of the bed taking in everything.

The underwear and bra she chose for me are a safe flat black color, with hints of lace here and there, but I ignore those for now. The next bag holds five pairs of pants, all light colors, all tight fitting. I groan at the idea of it, but try not to be ungrateful. I will wear them, I am just not certain I will like them. In the third bag I find six shirts, to my surprise all the shirts are black, a little tighter fitting than I would buy, but exactly the color I would go. Black shirts help me feel like I am blending in the background.When I open the fourth and final bag I am truly touched, a tear forms in my eyes, it is a brand new pair of sneakers, I glance down at the shoes on my feet, a hand-me-down from my mother. I am determined to never hold a piece of my mother again. Tonight I will throw these shoes out. Under the box of shoes I find the box for the new phone she bought me. I carefully took it from the box, pressing the side buttons. I had used a cellphone before, I had just never owned one.

A small knock on the door startles me from my thoughts, I turn to tell them to walk in, but the door swings open before I can speak. Ashe walks in, closing the door behind him, his face holds an emotion I am not sure I recognize. He doesn’t speak just steps towards me, I refuse to let him intimidate me. I stand my ground until Ashe is so close that if I take a breath out our chest will touch. Finally I back down, taking a step back to avoid the contact, my back hits the dresser. Ashe doesn’t stop, he moves, his chest pressed against mine, his face just above mine, his arms come out trapping me against him. His eyes are wild, he presses his forehead to mine. I have never been this close to someone in my life, his breath is fanning my face, and if I wanted to kiss him I wouldn’t even have to move.

“I don’t pity you Maye.” His voice is raspy, full of emotion. “I don’t pity you, you amaze me, I can’t keep my eyes from finding you in every single room. I can’t keep my hands from reaching for you every single time you are close to me. You are the strongest person I have ever met. I am a moth and you are holding a flame in your hands.”

His chest is heaving against mine, my skin feels like I am on fire. He moves his hand to my face, making me close my eyes at the contact. “I can’t make you believe me, but I have never pitied you a day in your life. Everything about you amazes me, and that is why..That is why I have to stay away from you Maye. I can’t cheat fate no matter how astonishing you are”

And then he is gone. His words linger in the air, but he is gone before my eyes even fully open. The soft click of the door let me know he had really been there. A soft knock sounds on my door, and I rush to throw it open, Ashe is standing there his face completely void of emotions. I knit my brows together in confusion, but his face remains the same.

“My mom wanted me to let you know pizza is here.” Ashe says, his voice much louder now that it had been moments ago. He doesn’t wait for a response, he just leaves. I quickly walk to catch up to him, but he is too fast, he makes it to the dining room before I ever catch him. I lose the confidence in confronting him once we have an audience, instead I take the chair right next to him.

“Sorry I was so rude earlier Mrs. Solis, I was not fully processing.” I say, finally pulling my eyes away from Ashe. “I will try to manage my emotions better moving forward.”

“Don’t you apologize! It was a lot to take in, I am sure.” Rachel chimes in, her face soft looking at me. “And I already told you, call me Rachel!”

“Thank you, Rachel!” I say her name timidly, “I appreciate everything you all have done for me.”

Jackson enters the room suddenly, a sour expression painting his handsome face. His eyes scan the room as if trying to account for everyone. “I have to go, the investigative team uncovered a body.. An unexpected body.”

Black edges on my vision again, and my head is swimming with thoughts. Ashe’s hand squeezes my thigh reassuringly. It is enough to fight the black from my vision, but not enough to stop the sirens blaring in my head drowning out all thoughts.

“We want to go with you.” Echo and Lynx shout out in unison, shoving back from the table. Both their eyes land on Ashe, confused as to why he doesn’t share the sentiment.

“Please stay here, stay to protect your mom for me.” Jackson pleads. “I will text you all with any updates I have.”

“No. I am going with you.” Echo says, walking closer to his dad.

“I will stay here with mom. I will keep my eyes on her.” Ashe speaks for the first time, his hand squeezes my thigh again.

“Then I am going too.” Lynx joins his father and brother. Jackson looks slightly disappointed, but nods his head before kissing Rachel and leaving.

“Why don’t you kids go get some rest, it is bound to be a long night.” Rachel says, her voice growing wary. She stands, leaving Ashe and I alone in the kitchen.

With no one else around, Ashe hesitantly reaches his hand up to stroke my cheek. “Will you tell me what happened the night you came here?”

“If I tell you..” My voice cracks, “If I tell you, will you tell your brothers, will you share with them so I never have to say it out loud again.”

Ashe nods his head, not speaking, but he does remove both of his hands from my body like he has just realized he was touching me.