Rising From The Ashes of Her Past

Alone

My head is reeling, filled to the brim with new information. If I thought being a mystical being had rearranged parts of my brain this was an entirely new level. Terrance’s words bounced around, repeating themselves in my mind. I had hardly a moment to process the fact that I had absorbed my twin, and that he would be a part of me forever before he dropped the bomb that I would have to sever a bond I didn’t think was there anymore.

“Wait, when my sister is finally resting will she be a part of me too?” I ask, a strange mix of emotions passes Terrance’s face.

No one speaks for entirely too long. I have made a mistake, but I don’t know what it is. My mouth is dry, and I am nervous. Am I completely stupid, or is something bigger at play here? Why won’t anyone tell me anything about my sister? My words are still hanging in the air when the more irritating of the nurses pushes back into the room. A fake smile plastered across her face.

“Ah, Alpha family, sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to check in and make sure no one needed anything.” Her voice is sweet as syrup, but fake. It would take a complete i***t to not see through her facade.

“No. Thank you. We are actually quite busy, please ensure you don’t interrupt again.” Jackson responded, his tone even hiding annoyance, but his face gave it away. The nurses face drains of color, but she steps back, closing the door behind her.

“Your sister will not very likely become a part of you.” Terrance says, he sounds as if he is fighting off tears, and I have the urge to comfort him. “Your sister. Well your sister found the person she was bound to, hours before her death.”

Horror strikes me. My sister had been a shifter? I hadn't the slightest idea of it. My voice catches in my throat, stealing away my response. Fat tears roll down my cheeks, an emotion floods me, an unexpected one, betrayal. Why hadn’t she told me? Terrance seems to know what I am thinking before I speak, he takes a step closer to me, his hand reaches out and rests on my shoulder.

“From what I can tell.. Your sister had only experienced the shift once, and only just a day or two before her death,” The words are meant to soothe me, but I don’t feel soothed. Part of me knows that I shouldn’t feel this way, but a bigger part won’t let it go.

“How do you know she had found someone?” My voice is full of emotions, mostly anger and I bite my tongue to keep from talking more. “How can you tell?”

Terrance’s face twists in sadness, tears seem to form in his eyes, but he quickly pushes them away, “Because they were found together with evidence of a recent binding ritual.”

The words feel like cold water being poured down my spine. A gasp leaves my throat that I can’t stop. Before I was sucked into my own mind I had heard other remains were found near my sister, but I hadn’t fully processed. That meant that Raymond had killed another person too. The person my sister was meant to spend the rest of her life with. Raymond had ensured my sister never got her happiness, and it seemed that he was making sure I never got mine from beyond the grave. The sobs form in my chest before I can stop them, and I am shaking uncontrollably. Nobody moves or says any words, I hate myself for being angry with my sister before.

“She will be with her other half once we let her rest.” Terrance reassures me, this time it does help me feel a little better. “She will be with my sister, Everly”

My eyes snap to his, tears are forming in his eyes. I am overcome with shock, I hadn’t even known my sister would have liked to be matched with another woman. I was happy that she had found someone nonetheless. Terrance had tears welling in his eyes, and I knew that he was the only person in this room who understood the pain in my heart right now. I move my arms to open them for him and he falls into me. His head leaning into my neck, and my arms wrap around him. Silent sobs shake his form, and I feel my own tears falling into his hair. We find comfort in each other's embrace. The rest of the room has fallen silent, the only person still looking at us is Lynx. His eyes linger on our tender embrace for moments before his head falls to look at the floor like the rest of the family.

The air is thick with tension, and my heart is beating erratically. Terrance has stopped shaking, but I can still feel the hot tears running from his eyes into my shoulder. I pat his back trying to offer reassurance. The tears in my eyes have dried, and I am feeling quite awkward now. Still I know that Terrance and I need each other at this moment so I don’t move. I hold onto his form as if both of our lives depend on it, and they might. Terrance cries for a few more moments before he pulls away from me, he clears his throat and wipes his face of any emotion. I think he is much more handsome when he wears them on his face, but I don’t say this outloud.

“I don’t think we can break these bounds tonight, I think your body is too weak to handle it.” Terrance says in a low voice, meant just for me, “I think you should stay here tonight with someone watching over you, then we can resume this process tomorrow. In a more comfortable place.”

I smile slightly at Terrance, feeling grateful for the time to process the emotions I am feeling. I am also glad to have a night to process all the things that have been told to me tonight. Fear overcomes me at the prospect of falling asleep, and back into the dream I had before. I feel my eyes widen in panic before I can stop them. I am nearly twenty years old, I should be able to handle a night of bad dreams alone. I wipe my face of all emotions and clear the hysteria from my throat.

“No one needs to stay with me. I will be fine tonight.” I say, keeping my voice measured and even. “You should all get some rest.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rachel says, rising from Jackson’s embrace. “I will stay here with you tonight.”

Relief floods through my body. A sense of happiness and gratitude replacing the overwhelming fear. I smile at her. Why couldn’t she have been my mother I think to myself ruefully.

“And I think it would be ideal for me to be here too.” Terrance says. My cheeks redden, he can’t be serious, “Just in case another attack comes on.”

Jackson looks as if he is considering it, which seems absurd to me. Jackson looks between the three of us, his gaze lingering tentatively on his wife,“I will have them bring a cot for both of you.”

Jackson stands to leave the room and the doctor follows behind him. Rachel places a small kiss on my cheek before she leaves the room behind them. I am very suddenly alone in a room with the most attractive people I have ever met in my life, and my nerves are standing on edge. My palms pool with sweat, and my eyes dart between the four of them. Ashe still doesn’t look at me, but the other three sets of eyes are glued to me. Terrance is the next person to leave the room, excusing himself to go track down those cots.

Echo is the first to stand and come to my bedside. He reaches his cool hand out and places his palm against my cheek. I close my eyes at the cool touch. His skin soothes the bruises peppering my cheeks.

“Please never scare us like that again.” Echo whispers to me, then he spins around to leave the room. Lynx quickly takes his place.

“Thank you for helping me so much.” I smile at Lynx, he doesn’t reply, I don’t think he can. He leans in to kiss my hairline just like he had done earlier this night. He leaves. Leaving me and alone with Ashe, which makes me more nervous than all four combined did.

Ashe stands, still not looking at me. I expect him to leave me alone. His hand reaches for the door handle next to him. He turns abruptly, his face full of anger aimed directly at me. HIs anger is palpable and it feels like a weight on my chest. He takes a few steps closer to me before he speaks.

“I don’t know what you are, or what spell you put on me, but stay out of my dreams” His mouth is pressed in a hard line, “And if you can’t help yourself, keep your lips to yourself”

My heart pounds loudly in my chest. The door slams and I am left completely alone. Tears well in my eyes, and shame burns my cheeks. He doesn’t even have to say what he means, somehow I know he shared the same dream kiss as me. I don’t know how it is possible, but I feel it all the way to the center of my being that he did. My fingers instinctually find my lips, running over the cracked surface. The memory of our dream kiss etched firmly into my memory. Does that still count as my first kiss? I would like to say no, but both of us feeling it makes me think it does. Great, my first kiss with someone who loathes me.

The handle on the door turns and quickly wipe away the tears from my face. Tears aren’t unwarranted at this moment, but I don’t want to have to explain myself. A part of me hopes Ashe is coming back, but another part of me hopes he doesn’t. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to open up and get close to him. Before long he will be married to the person who has made my life a living hell for the last few years. No, I will shove all thoughts of Ashe and his brothers from my mind. I won’t allow myself to grow any fonder than I already have. Maybe it is time to revert back to my original plan and leave as soon as I am old enough.

Luckily, it was not Ashe returning, but Rachel and Terrance. Terrance looked at me the moment he entered the room, his eyes locking onto mine. I feel raw, and exposed as if he can read every thought that has entered my mind. That thought makes me blush, no one should hear some of those thoughts bouncing inside of my hand. Rachel wears a worn expression, looking a little more beaten down than she had before, and I worry for her. They both quickly work to set their cots up on either side of me. Rachel falls into her quickly, she smiles up at me.

“I am going to try to sleep a bit, I didn’t get much before I woke.” Rachel says softly, shifting onto her side facing away from me.

Terrance flips the light switch, killing the overhead lights. Two dim bulbs burn just over the sink in the room providing a small amount of light. I know that I should probably sleep too, but I find myself watching Terrance. He is pacing around the side of the room his cot is on. His face looks troubled, he seems to be unaware of my eyes on him. Emotions brew on his face, making him look more human somehow, he seems to wear a mask devoid of emotions when people are around. I wonder why he thinks he can’t express his feelings, but I don’t think I should ask him.

“People used to be afraid of me.” Terrance whispers to me, his pacing stopping abruptly, “I can tell certain things about people.. Their death, their love life sickness, curses. I wasn’t able to control myself, couldn’t stop from telling people about the things I saw.”

My brows knit together, puzzled. Wouldn’t people want to know those things? And then it strikes me that I hadn’t spoken. Terrance answered a question that plagued my mind, that I hadn’t said aloud. I am startled by this and look at him with wide eyes.

“I can’t read your mind, no, but you were practically shoving the questions into my mind.” Terrance replies, “I can’t see or hear everything, but the ones you really want to know come forward.”

I shrink into the bed, dropping my eyes to my lap. I wonder what other things I have unintentionally pushed into his mind, or anyone else's. I wasn’t aware that was something that someone could do. I also wonder if that is how the triplets always seem to be lost in their own conversation, but no, I don’t want to think of them, I am shoving them out of my mind now. Terrance chuckles and my cheeks flame. I am mortified.

“The only other thing you have pushed into my mind, is how attractive you find me when I show emotions,” Terrance says with a small laugh, “And the triplets are doing something different, people you share bonds with can use a channel within their minds to speak to one another. But with twins or triplets it is almost like at any given time they share one channel.”

I gape at him, confused slightly, “How? How does it work for you then?”

“Bond or no bond I can feel people reaching out, whether they mean to or don’t, it is like I am an antenna, I pick up all the channels” Terrance says, keeping his voice low trying not to disturb Rachel.

I thought about this for a moment. I don’t think I have a single channel to share with anyone and that makes me sad. I don’t know why it makes me sad, but it does. Everyone I have lost is gone now, and I am alone in my own head. A lone tear slides down my cheek, and I decide that now is the time for me to sleep. I have fought it this long, but I am going to embrace it and sink into it now.