His Savior

Can't Do This

~Cory~

“You're such a good man.” I press my lips to the back of Zahara’s head and snuggle into her more.

“Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to do that; you need to rest.” Zahara turns so she’s facing me.

“I’ve been awake for a while. I heard what you said to Nona.” I close my eyes and sigh. I open my eyes again and look into my mate’s beautiful brown eyes.

“I know I should stay out of it, but it’s hard to do. Lennox is visibly distraught and I hate to see him like that.” Zahara sighs and nuzzles into my chest.

“I wish I could make them work through this, but no one has that power. Nona's so guarded since her ordeal, but I get that. I just wish she would realize that Laslo was an isolated situation and Lennox’s only similarity to him is that he’s a man.” I kiss Zahara on the top of her head and listen to her breathing even out. I don’t know how long I listened to her sleep, but the sound of the door opening snapped me out of it.

I prepared my speech for the doctors to let my mate rest, but I quickly shut it down. Lennox peeks into the room, and he nods when we catch eyes. He quietly closes the door behind himself and makes his way to the bassinet. The smile on his face is magnetic as he peers down at his nephew. “We named him Zion.”

“I like that name; it fits.” I watch Lennox baby Zion and can’t do anything but smile. He’s going to be an amazing uncle; I just wish he was happier.

“Nona was here earlier.” Lennox sighs and slumps into a chair next to the bed.

“I found her in the gym and told her to head over here. I….I couldn’t be here with her so I told Z that I’d be by later.” The sorrow on Lennox’s face breaks my heart. He looks like he’s lost everyone he’s ever cared for.

“I wish you two could figure this out.” Lennox lets a hollow laugh escape his mouth.

“I think it is figured out……on my end at least.” My heart skips a beat, and the fear sets in. I have a feeling that whatever he’s about to say won’t be anything I want to hear. “I’m going to let her go. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep hoping for something to happen that clearly won’t. I can’t keep longing for someone who doesn’t want me. I’m barely eating, barely sleeping. My drinking has increased greatly. I need to be my best for you two and this pack. I need to focus on what’s important, not on what I can’t change. I need to let Nona go.”

~Nona~

It’s been a few days since I’ve seen Lennox. A part of me is okay with that, and another part of me is aching to see him. I know this back and forth isn’t fair to him, but I have nothing else. I want to set him free, but Zora won’t let me. She’s determined to have me accept him, which has become the wedge between us.

Zahara has been home from the clinic, and I’ve been helping her with Zion. He’s such a sweet child, a joy to be around. I’ve been taking over some Alpha duties to help Luna Amara. If I would accept my position, this would be what I was doing anyway, and I have nothing else going on.

I’m in the Alpha office, filing some paperwork, when the door flies open. Firewood and eucalyptus fill my nose, and I can feel a tremor in my knees. “I….I didn’t know you were in here. I’m sorry.” I close my eyes and swallow the lump in my throat. I close the file cabinet door and turn toward him.

“It’s okay. I was just putting these away. I will give you some space." I take a shaky step forward before gaining my bearings. I walk confidently toward the door.

“I can’t do this.” My foot stops in mid-air. I place my foot down and slowly turn toward Lennox. He whispered, but I had no trouble hearing him. I want to walk away, but there’s a burning desire to hear him out.

“Can’t do what?”

“THIS!” Lennox yells with wild eyes, gesturing between the two of us. Lennox places his hands at his sides and closes his eyes. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep acting as if there’s nothing between us. I can’t keep staying away.” Lennox opens his eyes, and I feel my stomach start to churn. Is he going to grab me like Laslo? Is he going to lock me away so that he can have me? I feel a shiver go through my body and have a serious urge to run. “I understand what you’ve been through, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I just….I can’t do this anymore. Too much of me is lost in this mess with you, and I have to be able to give my all to this pack.” Lennox takes a step toward me, causing me to step backward. It was purely instinctual, and I don’t know how to stop it. “I want you, Nona. I really want you, but you don’t want me. I accept that, I understand.” My heart beats out of my chest, and my breathing is labored. Do I stay, or do I run? I don’t know what’s coming next, and I’m scared. “I, Lennox Brooks, Beta of the Wild Band Pack, reject-”

I don’t remember moving. I don’t remember getting close to Lennox. I didn’t feel my hand connect with his face. I blanked out when running out of the office and into the woods. I feel fear and anger coursing through my body. I continue to run, ignoring the shortness of breath and the pain in my legs. I make it to a small clearing in the woods and fall to my knees, screaming out in pain.