Chaos Before Freedom

Chapter 3 - Oh, Sunday Morning

Freddie’s Narrative

Life on Oak street so far was great for me, Vira was compliant to my needs and orders. Especially the first six months. But her new doctor said she needed to be weaned off from the medicine so it would not leave permanent damage. He knocked her down to one dosing a day, she still was pretty good for the most part. At least she could hold more of a conversation with me and others. And Doris Tom’s wife had made it her mission to be her friend. I guess that would be better than having her set-in front of the window after household chores. The neighborhood was beginning to ask if she was incapable of doing things on her own.

There were moments that I had to put her in her place here and there as the effects came down to their new levels. My real problem was when the doctor ended the prescription refusing to refill it. She attempted to run again, this time I begged him to put her back on the medication. Again he refused to do so, he however decided to keep her under an watchful eye putting her into the hospital for what he called detoxing. She was there for a two months, the first month I was not allowed to see her at all. Then in the following month I was restricted to only see her a few hours at a time gradually getting longer times until I was able to take her home.

I am not real sure if I like this Dr. Jenkins, he seems to have his doubts about me even more so then the last doctor that put her on the medication in the first place. To the point he went to Vira and spoke to her instead of me handing her a business card, “Mrs. Krouse if you ever need me or anything at all please give me or one of my nurses a call.” She took it and tucked it away in her purse nodding to him. A week later she took off again but didn’t get to far as I seen her walking to the train station on my way home. When I got her home, I let her f*****g have it.

“What the f**k do you think you are doing Vira?!” I yelled at her as soon as I dragged her into the house. Her look of shock was awarding but not as good as the one after I back handed her right on her cheek with my free hand.

“Please Freddie… Let me go… You don’t love me, you really don’t even want me.” She said between her sobs. It only pissed me off more, I began to hit her harsher. It didn’t matter where my fist or slaps landed as long as it was on her person. “Freddie stop please.” She begged. But I would not stop until I was satisfied and that was not until I was done with her in our bedroom. She fought all the way, trying to pull away from my grasp. I threw into the room on to the bed before slamming the door shut. She sprung to her feet trying to get away from. But I grabbed her arm bringing her back to face me smashing my lips to hers to possessively kiss her. Grabbing the collar of her pretty little yellow dress and tore it down the front revealing her last satin slip. It didn’t last long either when I took it off while ripping her dress off her shoulders. Throwing her back down on the bed after she was bare, putting her arms above her head holding them down with my right hand. After adjusting myself to enter her, she tried to fight me off and failed. I had my way with her. My breathing raspy from the assertion I told her “Don’t ever try to run away again Vira! I will make your life very difficult if you try. Maybe even hurt those you love more then me. But you will learn to love me and do as told.” Slamming my lips down on her jarred opened mouth, her taste and sent brought me to attention once again. Without giving her much of a break I began to take her once more. This time just a little more gently, I think I made my point across tonight.

For the next five years life went smoothly, she did as she was told. Submitted when told, I know she at times cried during s*x but that would not stop me. And there were sometimes she needed to be reminded who the boss was. She eventually did try to get help from the police but I told them she was accident prone plus had a medical record of being delusional at times. The bought it and I was again off the hook and her back in my possession.

After it seemed she learned I began going to Chicago a couple times each month, I had another lady I would take out on the town there. Just showing her a good time, without the s*x part frustrating yes. But her family was connected to the world I was deep into once and planned on being again. And it helped me going back sometimes I missed Chicago desperately. Vira would stay home doing her sewing and spending time with her friend Doris and going to church on these weekends. That is if her bruises from her f**k ups in pissing me off then she only hid away in the home for that time.

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It was another Sunday, in her small 1920’s kitchen big enough to hold a four-chair table at its center. Two sides of the table were light minty green cabinetry topped with white and matching green tiles, the floor matching in color. The sink under the center of the small window with the stove just to the left and the ice box kitty corner on the other wall. There was three ways out of the room the door going outside to the driveway. The archway going to the living room where the front door was right before the setting area. Across from the door was the hall and the stairway leading upstairs to two bedrooms, a master bedroom along with a large bathroom next to the linen closet. The third was her more used entry. It intersected with the other hallway that would have been considered the servants entrance into the dining room. Through the pillar archway dividing wall one could see the living room. However, her favorite room laid at the end of the back walkway, if one would just continue straight with the path, was the sewing room. Before that was a bathroom where she kept most of her things. It also housed the washer, often times referred to as the washroom for this reason.

It was just like any other day. Vira was up and making breakfast while Freddie in his drunken state kept him asleep. He’d wake up pained and angry as usual after a night out with the boys if he woke too soon. Vira was ready for church dressed in her best light blue dress with a white lace collar, her dishwater blond hair put up in a low hair roll. If she had been allowed, she would have already left. Life is like a double-sided knife on a regular basis, damned if she does or doesn’t. They have missed many days at church for the same reasons. Ones she kept quiet, making up a simple yet believable lie to hush the other housewives on the block. Unless she was given a bruise on a not so easily to hide place. Then she should just say she was ill until it healed.

Reading the bible given to her by her father on her wedding day as she ate. “This will give you strength” he said as he placed it in her hands. That was a beautiful day, warm with the scent of the floral arrangements and the sweet treats in a wonderful combination. Mother was so happy. Father, on the other hand, looked as if someone was twisting his gut with their bare hands. Now she could barely believe she was married to such a man willingly; the reason why was so vague now. The simple white V-neck dress with lace her mother made for the day was once seen as beautiful work. Now the only thing felt when she sees it in the back of the closet every day was disdain. No matter the great love and care her mother put into its making. How she wished she could hear her father’s words of quiet wisdom now. But all that echoes are the same words, “this will give you strength”.

A knock on the door disrupted her reading, she placed the heavy handmade bookmark in her place, before leaving them both on the table. Right on time, Doris Mae was on the other side of the door. Her dark-brunette hair all done up and topped with a yellow hat to match her low-waisted dress. Her voice sounded just as chipper as her personality when she spoke “Tom and I was wondering if you would like a ride to church today?”

“Oh… I don’t know, I am feeling a bit under the weather. And Freddie is having a late start to the day.” She lied yet again, well partially any ways. Almost instantly after the words left her lips, she could hear his footsteps coming down the stairs. Fear came over her due to knowing he was about to be too close for comfort. With the door still open, he spoke to Doris from behind her “Yes, we will take that ride. I wasn’t feeling well last night so Vira let me sleep in. Just give us about five minutes we will be right out.” Doris nodded and then departed from the doorway; Vira was shutting the door as Freddie went to the left, going into the kitchen. He turned his head to look at her, following him into the room. “Is my breakfast on the warmer?” He asked after clearing his throat.

“Yes dear.” She responded quietly.

“You always know the best breakfast after a night of poker with the boys,” he proclaimed as he shoveled the warm oatmeal into his mouth.

“Thank you, would you like some eggs to go with the bacon?”

“There’s Bacon Too!!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, it was a nice surprise I found in the ice box this morning. I didn’t want your eggs to go bad, so I decided to wait until you were ready for them.”

“Well, in that case I will take a couple of eggs.”

Using the bacon grease, it didn’t take long to make them just the way he liked them. Medium, over easily the yoke pale yellow and gel like not a run of liquid from it.

“Perfection!” He said before hurrying like a child about to go out and play right after supper. After he finished, he told her “Just set the dishes in the standing water. After all, I said five minutes to Doris.”

Vira collected the dishes, doing as instructed. Doris and Tom just pulled up to the front of the house when they were exiting. As Tom’s Nash touring car bumped along the road, not much was out of sorts. The men mostly talked about the car and the extra hours Tom put in to purchase it. While Doris went on about her sewing ladies club. Vira didn’t say much. If she didn’t have visible marks or bruises, she mostly went to the ladies’ social luncheon once a week. Of course, she might have gone to the sewing club, but the time of day it took place was not one that would have worked. It cut too close to when Freddie came home, and he expected her home an hour before he got home. He claimed it was because he didn’t want his wife, still too giddy about women’s talk, to prepare dinner for when he got home. Besides, she did enough sewing in his mind. She didn’t need to be a part of a flock that did it for an excuse to gossip.

The service in church was regrettable for her, as if the preacher was aiming right for Freddie. Telling men to be tender to their wives and how wives should obey their husbands. “Obey” she hated that word, especially when it came to a man and wife. What were women supposed to be like pets? She knew somehow it would be her fault, as if she took the risk to talk about her home life with the preacher. As if she was allotted to socialize, much less with another man, even if he was a man of God. It didn’t matter that both the preacher’s wife and sister were in a women’s rights club. It was a fairly small unofficial group, not like the New York’s group that at times even made it into the local papers. Nope, somehow it would be on her. It wasn’t true, of course, but that is not the way Freddie would see it.

After the service, Tom decided he wanted to take them all out for lunch at the local Ruby’s Diner. Freddie agreed only if he picked up the check for himself and Vira. A delay at least in the sermons back fall, maybe a good day with Tom would make him forget about it she thought to herself.

“The specials for the day were baked ham or fried chicken. Both came with mixed carrots, peas and side of mashed potatoes with a choice of pepper gravy or ham gravy.” Freddie announced while reading the special board in front. This was her queue to choose something from this, make it simple. They sat down in a corner booth, shortly followed by a waitress to take their order.

She flatly stated, “Here are some menus. Any idea what you would like to drink?”

“Ladies?” Tom prompted for them to go first. Both ordered ice teas and the men coffee.

“Okay, I will be right back with that.”

Freddie gave the menu a once over, but he already knew what he was going to order. When the waitress came back over with the drinks, he ordered it directly. “Fried Chicken with pepper gravy.”

Tom went with the club sandwich with potato salad and the carrots with peas. Vira chose the baked ham with ham gravy, Doris followed, and as a risk taker, at least in her own mind, ordered the same but with the pepper gravy.

Lunch was a fairly pleasant one. Tom kept Freddie busy in conversation. Doris continued with the ladies’ socials and other groups she was involved in. It was almost like a normal couple’s lunch, all but the underlaying fear for when it was over.

When Vira looked up, past the men seated before her. There was a tall, sturdy build man with his blonde hair peeking out from under his flat cap. His greenish-blue eyes and chiseled jawline she would recognize from anywhere. She questioned in her mind “Arthur… why is he here?!” She just hoped Freddie wouldn’t recognize him, that would only lead to hell tonight. Arthur tipped his hat to the ladies and sat in and sat at a booth two booths down from them behind Freddie. As much as she was happy to see that he survived his tour of duty, but now he had to make an appearance. Already expecting Freddie to have a fit, this will just set it higher. The man was writing something down when the couples were getting up to leave. A whisper followed the ladies, “Miss, did you drop your grocery list?” Vira didn’t want to answer that, Freddie didn’t notice Arthur. She quickly took the paper and stuffed it in her dress pocket. Doris never minded it, as if she didn’t hear or see anything. Vira took a deep breath once they were loaded back into the Nash heading back home.

When they arrived, she wanted to be sluggish not to go in the house with Freddie. But if she did, he would remember that church sermon. They waved at Tom and Doris as they went inside. Vira put away their jackets in the foyer closet, while Freddie went right to the radio and newspaper in the Copenhagen blue living room. Ordering her to go brew some coffee, she was fine with it as she hoped to be in any other room than the room, he was in. After cleaning the breakfast dishes, she would read until he dozed off in his favorite brown leather armchair. Later she hoped to play a card game and wait until he was in bed asleep before she would dare to go to sleep herself.

Once the coffee was done, she poured it in the thermos pot and took it out to him with a cup, pouring the first one. He looked up at her and stated in an irritated tone “What are you still doing in your finest clothes? Since you are such a klutz, I would think that you would spare me the damn dollar. Go get changed and not in that brown dress, you still have to look respectable in case we actually have company.” The brown dress he was speaking of was one that she made from the cheapest material she could find. As at the time, he refused to let her buy another dress when all she had was one left. From him tearing them up saying he bought all of them so he could do as he pleases. When the newer ones were either made by her or paid for from her sewing jobs. Even then, and the older ones now non-existent were from before they were married.

But just the same, she did go up and changed into a darker blue floral-patterned dress. Putting away the good one in the washroom, only to go back downstairs to start the pot roast with potatoes, onions and carrots. With the addition of fruit salad and a cherry pie for dessert, baking the dinner rolls with the pie. She would set up the dining room for two, even though she would have to make another plate for him. If she didn’t have the plate set in the dining room, he would be angered by it. As he would eat in the living room to listen to his programs.

He finally dozed off for an afternoon nap. She went and got the paper from her pocket of the good dress. Opened it up and read “I found you, as I promised. Are you still happy?” Making it so Freddie didn’t notice it and, if he did, wouldn’t be able to make out the words. She got it completely soaked in water before placing it with in the meat package in the trash.

Dinner was ready and set right at six o’clock, he woke up enough to recognize she had brought him a plate. He dug right in, before she even sat down, she grabbed his slice of pie and fruit salad. His nightly beer and church key; refreshed his coffee pot, followed by disappearing into the dining room. He looked over towards the mulberry colored and chair-railed wood paneled dining room as she was sitting in the middle of the table between the two huge windows wall space. About to take her first bite, when he called her back. She closed her eyes and rolled them behind her eyelids. Here it comes, she thought as she made her way to the living room. “Yes dear?”

“I was thinking… maybe you should move your things into the spare room downstairs.”

“The guest room?”

“No, the room where your s**t is, like that sewing machine.”

“Alright, I will right after...”

He interrupted “NOW! Since you’re a cold fish, I would rather not share a bed with you, don’t even think about using the guest bed either. That is for guests.” They never even had guest over, she wasn’t allowed to even call her parents much less invite them over for a weekend. And she had not even met his parents, only was told what state they lived in.

She nodded before moving quickly to collect her belongings from the master bedroom, then putting them in their new places. He yelled up the stairs for her “I am finished. Come take these dishes to the kitchen, you can eat in there while you clean up your mess.”

Putting away the last item in the white and pale creamy yellow sewing room before going to collect his plates. “Beer” he bellowed into her ear as she was stooped down.

Taking the plates with her, she went and got his beer out of the ice box. She did as instructed, clearing the dining room table and taking her cold dinner with her. She was trying to avoid the beating he seemed to think she deserved. Barely getting the chores completed before he came in, wrapping his arms around her waist. Kissing her neck, whispering in her ear “I am sorry doll; I shouldn’t have made you do that. How about we go up and have a little fun huh?” She couldn’t stand his touch but bare it she must. Or suffer a humiliating and painful taking instead. She started to untie her apron, “Oh let me get that for you.” He cooed, kissing her shoulders and neck as he did. He continued to undress her in the kitchen, before picking her up and carrying her to the master bedroom. As normal, he had no intentions of pleasuring her also, just himself. Thankfully, the room was dark so her tears could fall without being seen. As soon as he was spent, he said in a harsh voice “Get out, you have served your purpose.” This was certainly his room. He had it completely done in a masculine dark shade of red art deco wallpaper trimmed in rich oak wood. If he was aiming for the glamours side of the mafia, he nailed it. It was classy looking, but for her she hated it as only sore memories were held in those four walls. Not like it matter where he would punish her in. This room held the most of the humiliating ones.

Closing the door behind her, she went straight to the bathroom to take her prevention remedies. And taking a hot bath, even considered taking the worst way out for a split moment. She may have been dead, but she would’ve been finally free. “No, that’s not the way I will go out. I will not give him that release nor the enjoyment of knowing he drove me to it.” She thought to herself. If she were to die by his hands, she would have the marks to show the world the monster he really is. She soaked until the water was cold, retrieved her night clothes from her room. Then grabbed the ones from the kitchen, finishing up any missed areas, before making a makeshift bed in the corner of the room. At least she was not laying next to him no matter how uncomfortable it was.

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Vira’s Narrative

The next morning she got up cooked him his breakfast as always. At least he was going to work she would be left alone for the majority of the day. Freddie didn’t say much on his way out of the house only that dinner better be on the table by five sharp. She was planning on an meat loaf for tonight any ways fairly easy to time out. Once she heard the clunker as he called it leave the drive way she headed down to her sewing room to work on the projects she needed to get done right away. The house was pretty cleaned anyways and would not take much at all to touch up.

Arthur would sneak into my mind while I worked. Questions swam around in my thoughts I was stuck on the whys and how’s. It has been five years since I last felt his touch, I would run to him that is if I knew where he was. Plus, when Freddie found out he would hunt me down yet again. And I may not get the nice sanitarium I was in last time, it might be the more horrifying sort. I knew that Arthur could hold his own but I also knew that Freddie was cruel and would use me as bait to kill the man I once loved with all my being. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault how things ended it was my own if I would have just gone with him when I confronted him. I would have already been free of Freddie. But I had to do the more honorable thing and tell him to his face I was leaving. If I knew then what I know now it would have been a completely different story. Besides I have no clue if Arthur just noticed me and decided to check in on me or if he is now married with children. His purpose here was unclear, and I doubt that I will see him again. I have to get him out of my mind, I am Freddie’s wife now… wife, servant or slave it didn’t matter. I was only property now, a useless, stupid b***h as I am often referred to by Freddie these last five years. Unfortunately for me I believe him that I am at least two out of three of those, I got into this mess on my own. That was pretty f*****g stupid, I didn’t even see it coming or even have a clue that he was truly like this at all. Seeing what time, it was I hurried to the kitchen to start dinner so it would be done by four thirty. Freddie said five but if he is in one of those moods he sometimes comes home early. Him being a supervisor now, he could get away with quite a bit when he wanted to.