Lin Xi’s Diary
1183 Words
“Zhang Yixi, come to my office.”
Director Lin’s voice was calm, but his expression was carved from stone.
I knew then—this was the final judgment.
He sat behind his desk.
I remained standing before him.
He looked at me for a long moment, disappointment clouding his eyes.
If not for this fight, my promotion to head of marketing—the role Shen Man left behind—was almost guaranteed.
Now…
Now I had destroyed everything with my own hands.
He tossed me a cigarette.
I caught it.
A condemned man’s last smoke—that’s what it felt like.
“Do you have anything you want to explain?” he asked.
“In the face of what everyone thinks is the truth… I have nothing to explain.”
I couldn’t reveal what had led to that fight.
If word got out, Shen Man’s reputation would be dragged through the mud.
I decided I would swallow this bitter fruit myself.
Director Lin nodded slowly, thinking, then said,
“Before she left, Manman told me repeatedly to keep an eye on you.
You’re careless, sure, but you’re not reckless.
Did something happen?
You can tell me.”
Manman?
The intimate way he said her name startled me.
For a moment, panic twisted in my gut.
Could those rumors have been true?
Was that why he had let her leave so easily?
Seeing my expression, Director Lin realized his slip.
A hint of embarrassment flickered across his face.
He lit his cigarette and gave a faint laugh.
“Manman is my niece.
No one in the company knows.”
“What?”
My jaw nearly hit the floor.
I had known Shen Man for five years and never suspected they were related.
He smiled again at my shock.
“She didn’t want people to know. She wanted to rely on herself, not family ties. She started from the bottom just like everyone else. Everything she’s achieved—she earned.”
I nodded.
He was right.
Shen Man’s talent was real.
Her success was her own.
Now I also understood why he hadn’t stopped her from going to a competitor—he wasn’t losing an employee; he was letting family rise on her own terms.
Director Lin gestured again, prompting me to explain myself.
I clenched my teeth.
Even more reason I couldn’t reveal the truth.
Saying it would harm not only Shen Man, but him as well.
Yes, maybe he would give me justice and punish the ones who provoked me.
But that wasn’t the outcome I wanted.
Sometimes, we have to choose a path that hurts.
And then bear the pain quietly.
I cared too much about Shen Man to let rumors stain her name.
“I’m sorry, Director Lin.
I’ve failed you—and Director Shen.”
He sighed.
Said nothing more.
Just waved his hand, signaling me to leave.
He wanted to protect me, I could see that—
but his hands were tied.
Fighting in the company was serious, and I didn’t have a shred of justification to offer him.
“Director Lin… I’d like to resign.”
My fists tightened involuntarily.
“You’re sure? You’ve thought this through?”
His tone shifted—solemn, heavy.
“I take responsibility for my actions,” I answered firmly.
There was nothing left keeping me here.
Not with those two bastards glaring daggers at me every day.
My subconscious had already rejected this place.
Director Lin tapped his fingers on the desk, weighing something in his mind.
Oddly, I felt lighter with every second.
The outcome was grim, yes—but it was also a kind of release.
I didn’t have the strength to swim against the current anymore.
Finally, he stopped tapping.
“Young people need setbacks.
If you insist, I won’t stop you.
Write the resignation.”
I nodded, wrote it on the spot, and handed it over.
I didn’t know how Shen Man would feel if she later learned I had resigned over a fight.
I only hoped she would not blame me.
I had my reasons—my helplessness.
Back home, my mood hit rock bottom.
Not just because I had lost my job—
but because I couldn’t see any future ahead.
For the first time, I felt the full weight of life pressing on me.
Poverty seemed just around the corner.
I needed to find a new job, and I knew I wouldn’t get as lucky as before.
Shen Man was gone.
And without her… I had no idea how much strength I had left in me.
Night settled.
The city lights flickered in through the window—
a hazy, dizzying gold.
I lay on the bed, feeling an illness that wasn’t illness, smoking one cigarette after another.
For the first time in this city,
I felt empty.
In the middle of that endless confusion, my phone rang.
Lin Xi.
Girlfriend Number Two.
If I had ever truly loved someone in this life—it was her.
We had once shared the kind of joy that had nothing to do with money or status.
But she didn’t say she wanted to come back.
She only said she wanted her diary.
I found it in a forgotten corner, dust thick on its cover—
just like our love.
Whatever it once held had long faded into something unrecognizable.
I wanted to read it.
To see if there were any words about me.
But it was locked with a password.
Just like its owner—
a heart long since closed to me.
We met at a café we used to frequent.
This time, she didn’t make me wait.
She sat across from me, poised as ever, her smile familiar yet distant.
“What are you drinking? My treat.”
“I already ordered. Got you an Americano.”
“I drink mocha now,” she said lightly, calling a waiter over.
“One mocha, please.”
I nodded and said nothing.
She studied me.
“Zhang Yixi… you’re just the same.”
I smiled faintly.
I didn’t know if she meant my habits or my face.
After a brief silence, I took out the diary and handed it to her.
“This one?”
She examined it and nodded.
The coffee arrived.
She took a single sip and said, “I have to go. Let’s meet another day.”
I gestured politely.
She picked up her bag and left swiftly.
Only after she disappeared through the door did I think of correcting those words—
“meet another day.”
Perhaps “meet in another life” would have been more accurate.
Through the window, I saw her step into an Audi A8.
I didn’t know if she was that man’s girlfriend or his mistress.
I hoped—sincerely—that she was his girlfriend.
At least that way, she would live with dignity.
The wound in my chest split open again.
I had expected it.
No one enjoys watching the woman they love step into another man’s car—
even when the separation is long accepted.
- Writer
