The King's Alpha

4. No one likes to revisit an old monster

Karmin's POV

I didn't want to do it. I did tell want to relive what happened a year ago, the event that started all of this. I didn't want to go over how I challenged my ex mate to be Alpha of his pack 6 months ago. I just didn't, but that's the thing about being an Alpha. Sometimes you had to do things regardless of how hurt you may be by them.

I looked up at the Klienbay Pack house and smiled. I really did do an amazing job on this house. the bottom floor was for everyone with a big dinning room, a beautiful kitchen and a big warm TV area. The first two floors were guest suites that had everything a 5 start hotel could need. The third floor was a conference floor. I wanted a buffer floor that separated the ground and two first floors from where all our families would one day be. It was broken up into three large conference areas that could easily become one big one if we needed to hold a huge pack meeting. The forth floor was the Gamma's suite where he and his family would one day live. It had a beautiful master bedroom a small lounge and kitchen for those times you just wanted to be by yourself. Liam's office and then some kids rooms and one or two guest rooms if needed. The fifth floor was Hailey's suite. Her's was just like Liams but everything was on the opposite side. I had let them give their own input into basically their apartments but I told the designer that it still all had to be cohesive throughout.

And then on the top floor was my suite. It was beautiful just how I wanted it down to every last detail. I stood in the door way and looked around the space wondering if it would ever be filled with love and laughter. I didn't know if I ever would get a mate. I didn't know too many male wolves that would be happy taking a back seat to a woman Alpha. I mean he wouldn't be the Luna but be would be pretty close to it. I sighed and walked to my room. I see Lily has already been there and left me another one of her beautiful outfits. I made my mind up right there that she would be going to design college and become the head designer for us three.

I stepped into my shower and just let the water fall before I started washing. It took me all of 10mins to be done. I grabbed my robe and walked out with my hair in my towel and walked to my laptop. I wanted to send him an email saying that I'm sorry he had to miss this visit and that he more than welcome to come a few days before.... What the hell am I doing. This is Nicolas not some stuck up Royal. He is my closest friend. So I settled on sending him a text instead. I knew he was up and busy. the time difference was only 2 hours so he would be up and probably with his new mate by now.

I: Don't say that!

K: why on earth are you snapping at me Isabella? He didn't come because he is sorting out his coronation and you and I both know that it is tradition to announce who the future Queen will be!

I: I don't like to think of him with someone else that is all.

K: Neither do I but regardless of what we might feel. We have to be supportive.

I: Maybe we should challenge who ever this new Queen may be.

What the hell was this wolf thinking. Actually I knew what she was thinking. The truth is we have always been in love with him. It might have started as just a young girl crush but by the time I was 16 I was hopelessly in love with him and was trying to prove myself every which way. But he was older. 5 years older and when he turned 18 my heart broke when I realized that he could find his mate any at any day and just forget about me.

K: Isabella we can't. You and I both know that it would crush him if we did that. He has been looking for his mate since he was 18 and now that he is a few years away from being 30 he definitely deserves the love of a mate even if it is a chosen one.

I: sigh I hate it when you are right. But that still doesn't mean I need to be happy about it. We need to think about finding us a chosen mate too. I am tired of being alone and I want cuddles!

I roll my eyes at her. Flip she can be dramatic but she is right. We can't carry on like this. Being an Alpha is difficult in more ways than one. We need to let the frustration out and honestly running can only do so much. We need that someone by our side to help strengthen us and our pack. Even though I am a Female I'm still an Alpha, I still need that release. It's frowned upon for she-wolves to have any s****l relationships with someone who isn't their mate but it is less frowned upon if a male wolf does. It's still not right but it is mostly the higher ups that might find a play thing to help relieve the stress I being a she-wolf can't do that. Sigh. I need to decide on a chosen mate. Maybe the meeting of the Alphas will help me find someone.

I look at the clock on the wall and see it's time to go down. The sooner I tell them the sooner I can get it over with. I get dressed and do light makeup. I sigh. I don't like reliving this past year. I don't like having to tell people what he did to my pack and his. I don't like telling people how much my mate had hurt me to the point that I did what I did.

I walked down to the informal dinning room and took my place at the head of the table. after a few minutes both Hailey and Liam walked in taking their respective sides. Lastly the King and Queen walked in and sat at the other end of the table. Because this is a more intimate setting I opted for the smaller table.

"I hope you don't mind but I thought we would have a small intimate dinner tonight. What I have to say it better said without all the fancy 6 course meal stuff. Your Majesty please do not think me rude but I will tell the story once for you and I won't beat around the bush either, as honestly I hate talking about what happened. I do know I will have to explain the story to the new King and Queen and give them a fill report so that the new King can decide what to do about my ex mate."

Bith the King and Queen looked at me. "Yes but of course. I know I haven't really pushed for a report from you but I thought that I would let it be until you were ready seeing as how well both pack had been merged and how well you three have been running things. You are right Nicolaas does want a fill report and told me that he and his higher ups will be coming earlier so that the matter can be discussed. " I looked at them and nodded. Sigh. Here we go I thought. I spent the next few hours explaining in as little detail as needed about what had happened since I came home from the academy almost a year ago. The King and Queen asked a few questions here and there about he managed to get things right. I hated speaking about this. All it did was bring back the memories of him sleeping with other she wolves to hurt me. All it did was bring back the memory of finding out who really was behind the killing of my parents and the former Alpha and Luna of the Bay Moon pack. It brought back all the hurt from loosing pack members to his range. It brought back the hurt of me not being able to save more people, more children.

But then they shocked me when the flat out asked me about whether I was the white wolf of legend. I wasn't expecting then to ask me this... or at least lead up to may e hinting that I could be. for as long as I can remember I was always told to hide my wolf and not to shift unless it was the complete last resort. I looked at both the King and Queen and then to my Beta and Gamma. " Just tell them Karmz. They might still be King and Queen but they won't hurt you. they loves your parents and treated both of us like daughters they never had" Haily said through the mind link. I gave her a small smile and took a deep breath. I looked up and.... "Yes I am the white wolf of legend"

They looked at each other and nodded. "Well my sweet heart. I think it is about time we retire. We will report back to Nicolaas that he indeed does need to meet with you before but I think we will let you explain everything. I would be better if it came from you why you have hidden your wolf all these years. But I must say she is the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen." I smile at the Queen and say thank you. I escort them back to their mansion and say good night. As I walk back k I look out to where the ocean would be. I sigh. Luckily it's summer here at the sun goes down so late that I don't need to use any of my heighten wolf senses.

I feel drained. Completely and utterly drained. It times like this where I wish I had a mate to cuddle up next to. Someone who would take me in their arms and tell me that they are proud or that they just love me. But instead I walk up to my floor the quietness surrounding me. I walk over to my bed and I don't even bother to get undressed. I fall onto my huge King size bed and softly cry. This is how it's been for me ever since it happened. I need to be strong for others I need to be there for others.... but no one is here for me. I finally drift off to sleep feeling sad and alone.