Careless Whisper

5 - Hearts & Guitars

Samantha's POV

"Thank you for lending a hand with this. You have my full gratitude, and I can assure you I'll make it up to you." With sincerity and respect, I bowed in front of our caretaker once we stepped inside my family's villa.

From now on, this is where I'll be staying... all alone.

I left the hotel behind, determined to live in this villa. I never expected Jezreel, of all people, to help me pack and unpack my things. It's not her job; she's the caretaker, not my personal maid. I genuinely appreciate her help.

She wasn't forced; she volunteered. I don't know why, but it made me happy. Maybe she's proving me wrong. She's not as cold as I thought.

Maybe I'm just exaggerating.

"I'm going back home," she murmured, turning to leave. But I grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

I couldn't let her leave without showing my gratitude. Before I could say anything, she shot me a glare that could set me on fire.

Dealing with her is like trying to scale the Great Wall of China without any equipment.

"Could you please stay and have dinner with me?"

"I have work to do at the hotel," she replied, retracting her hand harshly. She started to walk away again, but I stopped her by holding the hem of her clothes.

I offered her to spend some time with me, at least for dinner. But she rejected me without hesitation, which was new to me.

No one had ever rejected my offer before. I thought, with my money, why would anyone refuse free food?

"What about tomorrow? We can have breakfast, lunch, or dinner, just the two of us?"

I hoped she'd say yes, as I didn't know what else to do to show my gratitude.

"I appreciate the thought, but I have to decline, madame. Tomorrow is my rest day, and I have an errand to run... Goodnight." Jezreel walked away, emotionless. She bowed slightly before leaving me alone.

I miss when she was smaller than me, and when she blushed when I called her by her name.

Feeling hopeless and as empty as this house, I sank onto the couch, trying to relax. Staring at the ceiling, I couldn't fathom spending months or even years here alone.

I admit, I don't know how to cook, wash clothes, take care of myself, or even clean dishes.

I used to have maids around me, doing everything while I worked for my father. How ironic that I treated them like slaves while my father treated me as one.

I knew it, yet I let it happen because I believed that's how you show care and love. I thought meeting expectations was the way to earn love and adoration.

I stayed in that position for half an hour before finally moving. I took a shower, put on something comfortable, and went to the kitchen.

I grabbed some bottles of soju that I bought earlier, thinking alcohol might fill my empty, hungry stomach.

I had nothing in the house, not even food. I didn't know how to order online, nor did I have internet here.

"Really? At this hour?" The doorbell rang. I glanced at the clock; it was 10:13 pm. Early for me, but I was too exhausted to deal with anyone.

Still, I grabbed the remote and opened the gates. Walking out of the kitchen with alcohol in hand, I was startled to see Jezreel in the living room. The front door was closed, the chandelier lights on.

"I thought you were-"

"Manang Tricia asked me to deliver this to you." She held a plastic bag with food I recognized but couldn't name.

"But this villa is a hundred kilometers from the hotel." I pointed out the obvious, her eyes meeting mine and giving me chills.

She's scary.

"You better eat a proper meal before poisoning yourself." She walked past me into the kitchen. I followed her, placing the soju on the glass table.

I didn't mind following her; I was used to walking behind people, even my father and siblings.

I watched as Jezreel casually moved into my kitchen, cooking rice and pouring the food into a bowl. She served it on the dining table.

"Once the yellow light turns orange, unplug it and you can eat." She walked out, and I followed until she slammed the door in my face.

What was that?

Did Manang Tricia also tell her to cook rice for me?

Is she an alien?

How can she be so cold and emotionless?

Why does she seem like she has no heart?

\\

Jezreel's POV

"Iba yata ang pormahan ng dalagang ito... Saan ang lakad natin, Jez?" Tanong ni Manong Chad nang makita niya ako sa main lobby na papalabas.

I rolled my eyes at him as I found it ridiculous how he cannot just compliment me. It was as if the word beautiful or pretty wasn't in his vocabulary.

Pero ano pa nga ba ang inaasahan ko, he's head over heels for his wife.

"None of your concerns... I'd probably spend the whole day somewhere so don't even try to contact me." As much as I don't want to sound so brat and ma-attitude ay hindi ko talaga maiiwasan lalo na ngayon.

Mukha naman naintindihan niya kaya nagpaalam na ako at umalis. I fished out my phone in my pocket right after I received a message.

ViVi

Just wait for me malapit sa bus stop, I'll be there in a minute.

I walked to the location he had given me. Along the way, I noticed many people turning to look at me, but I couldn't care less.

I've always known I was attractive - even as a toddler, I was aware of it. Still, it's absurd how dressing simply didn't help me blend in.

I was wearing simple black pants and a white shirt underneath a black long-sleeve shirt that was buttoned up to my chest.

I paired this with black Nike shoes and left my hair down. I carried a brown shoulder bag with a strap made of silver metal. I didn't have any makeup on because I was too lazy to apply it.

I aimed for a plain and simple look, but it didn't seem to matter. Men and even some women kept staring at me. Despite my effort to appear low-key, I still drew attention wherever I went.

"Looking sharp, Ms Ybañez." Napaharap ako sa aking likuran nang makarinig ako ng pamilyar na boses.

I was a bit startled nang makaharap ko ang babaeng talaga namang hinihintay ko.

She's wearing a simple red sleeve with a black blazer bundled up around her.

She also wears this skirt na mataas ng konti sa kanyang tuhod and of course the high heels and high ponytail.

Veronica Ivy Arifies.

I find it silly kung paanong muntik na kaming magka- align ng tangkad dahil sa napaka taas niyang takong na ako na ang nangagawit at nakakaramdam ng sakit para sa kanya.

"I could say the same for you, Ms Arifies." Binalik ko ang compliment nya nang may halong pag-galang. This woman and her family... They're the only wealthy family that never gets on my nerves.

I usually dislike rich people, but I can't bring myself to hate all the Arifies unlike before.

They've contributed so much to my life, and of course, they have my full gratitude. I also have my fair share of contributions, as they wouldn't be so accommodating to me if not for what I did.

I don't consider it a heroic deed; rather, it's something I should always do but never had the chance to showcase.

It's something that has caused me a lot of trauma and regrets, pushing me to the edge and forcing me into a pit where I had to reshape myself into something else.

It took minutes before we arrived at the private Cemetery. Nagtungo kami sa isang canopy kung saan ay napakaraming tao.

Masyado pa silang abala kaya ay hindi na nila kami napansing dumating. It wasn't until Veronica spoke or more like - she shouted.

"Mom! Jay's here!" Sigaw ni Veronica that caused Mrs Arifies turn her head on my direction.

Her lips curved a white smile while she made her way towards me and hugged me a bit tight. The Arifies family greeted me warmly as if I am also part of their family.

Muntik na...

Pero muntik lang...

"We're so glad to have you here with us, hija. It's been almost a year since we last saw each other." It's not unusual how I feel more comfortable with them than with anyone else. They've become my second family after I moved here to Baguio.

I'm basically their child... or maybe a child-in-law?

But this gathering isn't unusual for us; we're here at the cemetery because they're celebrating a birthday, and of course, I was invited.

I mean, I'm always invited, whether formally or not. Like I said, I'm part of this family.

"Now that we're all here, let's begin." Mr. Arifies brought out a cake, dressed formally unlike Mrs. Arifies, who was in a simple sundress.

She's a humble and kind woman, despite being the owner of Dartmouth University.

I admire her, especially since some "wealthy" individuals act as if they can rule the universe with a stack of paper bills.

We sang the happy birthday song in front of Veronica's grave. She sat beside it, and we placed the cake there.

Looking at the tombstone, I immediately felt a pang in my chest. I still can't fully accept this painful reality, but I force myself to, even though it hurts.

After the birthday song, everyone started eating. I helped prepare the food, even though I was being urged to eat. After taking care of everything, I ate alone while they talked.

I didn't join them because I wanted to spend at least a minute or two alone. I ate cake while staring at the tombstone, repeatedly reading the name written on it.

It's been 8 years, but the pain still lingers.

Halos matapos ang buong araw ko na puro ako tulong sa mga ginagawa nila. Serving foods, washing dishes, engaging in their conversation and many more.

I felt at home again after a year of feeling lost. I felt like the Ice Wall I built for myself just went melt. I was so comfortable with them that I lost track of time.

Hindi ko na namalayang nag sisimula nang umuwi ang iba. Nang ang matira na lamang ay kaming apat nina Mr. & Mrs. Arifies kasama ang anak nilang si Veronica ay nanahimik kami.

We were all exhausted na wala kaming ibang ginawa kundi ang maupo lamang sa damuhan habang nagpapahinga.

"It's been almost a decade but it feels like 80 years have passed. I still couldn't fathom it." Rinig kong bulong ni Veronica, hindi ko naman siya nilingon dahil naka focus lamang ang mga mata ko sa lapida.

I feel depressed and I hate myself for some other reason.

"Do you think she's happy, Mom? This is her last wish after all... To reunite our family." It was indeed her dream and I'm the first person to have knowledge about it as I have that kind of privilege.

"I'm sure she's delighted that we're all together. Now let's not kill the moment by some sob past stories, instead, why don't we sing a song. I brought my electric guitar and drum pads." Mr. Arifies tried to uplift the mood by mentioning his own instrument na kinuha pa niya sa trunk ng kotse nila.

Tinulungan ko naman siya dahil sa apat ang bitbit niya.

Isang malaking Bluetooth speaker na halos 3feet and tangkad at laki, isang electric guitar, drum pads, and a familiar pink acoustic guitar.

Pinuwesto namin ito sa gilid ng grave at saka ay inayos. It is so Ironic how this family could make you feel a rollercoaster type of emotion.

I found myself mesmerized by how they cope with something that'll bring their mood down. They always have this option to lift it up when it's falling down and I love them for being like that. I was like "sadness" wasn't in their dictionary and vocabulary.

"Jez, hirit mo ang paborito nya." Inabot ni Mr. Arifies ang electric guitar sa akin sabay turo sa puntod na nasa mismong gitna namin. Akala ko ba ayaw ng malungkot, bakit yung favorite song pa nya?

"Bu dad, I thought you don't want a depressing things swallowing us alive." Parang nabasa ni Veronica ang nasa-isip ko at kinagalak ko naman ito. Ngunit nagpumilit parin si Mr Arifies at saka ay binigay ang drumstick sa kanyang anak.

Magsisimula na sana kami ng may biglang pumigil sa amin, sabay kaming lumingon sa gilid at nagulat pa ako nang makita ko muli siya.

"Is it too late for me para humingi ng tawad?"

Liliana Lynn Martinez

Her eyes were swollen and as red as her nose and ears. She seemed slipping for a moment, as if wala sya sa sarili niya.

She's only wearing a red hoodie and black jogger, naka sinelas pa at naka puyod ng messy buna ang buhok nya.

She looks pitiful and Mrs Arifies seemed to take pity on her. Pinaupo niya ang dalaga sa kanyang upuan at saka at binigyan ng isang bote ng tubig.

Hindi ko alam kung nakalimutan na ng lahat ang sinabi niya o guni-guni ko lamang ang mga iyon. Pero dahil wala namang nag bring-up ay tumahimik na lamang ako.

She cried in front of us and kept apologizing for disappearing for those years she never made an appearance. Naaawa ako dahil halos hindi na siya makahinga kakaiyak but nanatili ako sa upuan ko.

Unlike the Arifies family na todo ang pagbuhos ng comfort and assuring words sa kanya.

I honestly don't know what to say or do so I remained silent and let them handle that kind of stuff. Ilang minuto din bago nila napatigil sa pag iyak si Liliana.

And saluted Mr. Arifies for still trying na isingit yung dapat na kakantahin namin. But instead of him being handling the acoustic guitar, he let Liliana use it.

The sight of Veronica being the drummer, Liliana being the guitarist, while I'm the one holding the electric guitar - it felt like Deja Vu. A feeling of Nostalgia, a sense of familiarity that gave me a mix of emotion.

As Liliana strums the strings of the guitar, followed by Veronica who hit the drums that almost sent vibration to my heart, I also started strumming the chords of this electric guitar.

"The Triple threat is back in business, I need to capture this moment on cam!" Mrs Arifies says with excitement, she grabbed her phone and filmed us as if we were in a music video. My eyes are fixated on the tombstone as this song that I'm about to sing is for her.

Hindi, hindi ko kayang umibig muli

Habang-buhay na lang kitang hihintayin (hihintayin)

Tinatanggi ko ang tadhana na kailangang mawala ka

Handa ako na ulitin sa 'yo at aminin

Na wala nang ibang makahihigit pa

Lahat silang maganda, tila magkakamukha

Walang papantay sa 'yo, tunay kagandahan mo

Ramdam ko ang kirot ng puso ko ngunit pinagpatuloy ko parin ang pagbigkas ng mga liriko.

Bakit iniwan mo ako? May mali ba sa sarili ko?

Paano iisipin? 'Di mo na 'ko kayang tanggapin

Hindi (hindi), hindi ko kayang umibig muli

Habang-buhay na lang kitang hihintayin (hihintayin)

Hindi, hindi, hindi ko kayang umibig muli

Habang-buhay na lang kitang hihintayin (hihintayin)

For years... heck, almost a decade, and I still couldn't believe you're gone.

Napakadaya mo...

Gawin mo 'yon nang ilang taon, magsawa ka nang mag-isa

Kinaya ko 'yon, ngunit bakit gano'n? 'Di ko alam ang gagawin ngayon

Hindi (hindi), hindi ko kayang umibig muli

Habang-buhay na lang kitang hihintayin (hihintayin)

I hated myself for letting out a sob, I don't shed tears, I simply could feel a lump on my throat as I kept singing. My body began to heave as my mind was in desperation to calm myself down.

Bakit ka kasi nang-iwan?

Napakadaya mo talaga, Vanessa. Iniwan mo kami sa ere.

Sa bawat sandali na 'di ka na kapiling

Pinipilit ko, kinakaya kong harapin ang totoo

Na wala ka na at wala nang iba

Ang makapapalit pa sa pangarap nating habang-buhay magkasama

Pinilit ko ng tapusin ang ang kanta. Hindi ko na kinakaya kaya naman ay tumayo na ako at umalis. Nang makalayo na ako sa kanila ay tuluyan na akong naluha.

I found myself in tears, quietly sobbing as I hid behind a wall, desperate not to be seen. Even now, I can't shake the feeling that I'm to blame for what happened.

If I hadn't been there, maybe it wouldn't have happened.

If I hadn't left her, none of this would have happened.

The weight of guilt and regret is heavy on my shoulders, and it feels like I'm suffocating under its burden.

Makalipas ang ilan pang minuto ay tuluyan na akong umuwi, nilakad ko nalang dahil ayaw ko gumastos. Nagpaalam na rin ako sa propesora through text at nagpalusot na lamang na kailangang umiwi ng maaga para sa trabaho.

Dahil nga sa naglalakad nalang ako ay inabot na ako ng gabi, ni-hindi ko na alam kung saan ako pupunta. I'm lost... So lost.

"Madame Sam?"