The Devil's Incarnate

Locked In

The color from my face was completely drained. I could feel my heart beat wildly in my chest. A heat wave surging through me. I couldn't bring myself to look behind. 'What would I find'? I questioned. 

"Victoria. "

I turned sharply. I let out a brief sigh. It was only Catherine. Her face full of concern as her eyes narrowed at me trying to discern what perturbed me. 

"Cathy, you could at least have given me a head start it was you. I was beginning to question my sanity. "

"what made you come here? In the forest at such a speed? If you were an amateur I would have feared for your life but I'm confident in your capabilities. But that doesn't make things any lighter. "

I couldn't evade her question come what may. So I answered promptly and watched her reaction. If I hadn't been confounded I would've guffawed at her priceless reaction. It looked like I had just confided in her, that there would be an alien invasion. 

"you saw him here. But... But.. That's close to impossible. "

"but it is so. "

"Victoria it can't be."

"but it is. "

She thinned her lips, holding back the bitter words. They had to be said either way. 

"Victoria, if indeed you saw this man, shouldn't I have seen him as well? "

I felt the alarm rise within me. 

"you were busy looking at the fabric. "

"yes. But I followed you the second, you ran off like a crazed lunatic. You scared me half to death. You kept going round in the same circumference. But the truth Victoria is, I didn't see who it was you were chasing. "

A momentary hush settled. I froze in that moment. Inhaling sharply of the humid air. It was too dense. 'had I misconstrued everything?' Cathy wouldn't lie to me but my mind would. I held on to the reins tightly and Cecily caught wind of my emotions, she was flummoxed and made one or two moves. It was probably her way to shake me out of it. How great were my imaginations to create such a fantastic scene. I was bewildered by all this. My belly churned. I couldn't ingest Cathy's words. I wouldn't believe it. Was I deranged? How could I have seen him so elaborately and be told he didn't exist. Ghosts were insufferable. They appear whenever they please and made one half mad. Unable to distinguish reality and otherworldly beings. 

"Victoria? "

I looked about me and came to the realization that we were deep in the forest. Considering the manner I had gone in circles, there was no way I could make heads or tails. 

"where are we? "

Cathy glanced around, worry scripted on her face. She wouldn't force the issue. She knew I wouldn't be able to discuss of it. 

"I know this path luckily. We use it at times when one wishes to cut the journey straight from flemstead to the town. But where we are now leads to the Cullen's palace. "

I pondered slightly. Cathy caught my obvious interest in the Cullen's and decided it was best to curtail my suggestions. 

"the present Cullen's consist of two ladies. There's no lad only an old broom, Mr Cullen himself. We've entertained them once as Mr Loft is in business with Mr Cullen. "

"so there's no lad? " I was becoming all the more deflated. 

"there is. "

"who? " I asked impatiently. Cathy was intentionally refraining answers to weigh their impact. I wished she were done soon that I may conclude. 

"he is six years of age. The Cullen's heir. "

A solemn moment passed and then another. I told Cathy to lead the way. I was feeling languid. I wanted nothing more but to be in my bed. I abhorred it all. My mind drifted to Magdalen. It was possible we shared each others sentiment. Her husband in flesh but a runaway. Never present and she had to spend the night alone. Awaiting for his arrival. How she yearned for his attention so much so that she gave up in her attempts in a gruesome way. How she must have languished for love. There I was. Chasing a ghost that didn't want to be caught gauging by the earlier scene. How shameless it was for appearing and making me crazed as I sought it. What a detestable ghost! Yet I was suffering for it. Longing for it. The more I thought of Edward Compton the more desires rose. I recounted his features but what appealed to me more was he as a being. Playing that sitar I could feel his pained emotions and his fondness for me fostered in only two nights. I wondered if he had not made the attempt of kissing me if I would have felt less. If my emotions wouldn't be driven as they were. But I knew I had already taken to him from the very first night when he startled me. Cathy insisted on my company and I sat there glumly as she made the purchases. My heart felt like lead. Every minute or so I would look about me to perhaps catch a glimpse of him. But I didn't. We parted after agreeing that I should arrive earlier for her to quickly stitch the chiffon for my neck. 

"it will make it more appealing. "

"or revealing. "

"quiet Victoria. "

There was a peevish wind howling. The chill of it made us shiver and each went her own way. I drifted to thoughts of him. It was best if I moved on. There was much to life but I wasn't sure there was more for me other than Edward. I wasn't sure there was one who could make me have that kind of spasm and make me void with thoughts of his non existence. There couldn't be one who could be so filling and emptying. I was sure I would fill this vacancy only when his mystery was revealed to me. When he would be before me. When I could reach out to him and not be hindered by thoughts of him being unreal. How long I would wait was a question of time and date being kind to me. I went past the vexing Dolche, who didn't take to kindly to being ignored. I locked myself and watched as she tried to flung it. She left seconds later. I dreamt that night of myself in the Orlop. I was seated as I traced the big dip. I marvelled at the stars from the domineering to the quaint. Then he came up behind me. 

"Vivi? "

I turned to look at him and there he was. His sonorous manner even more elaborate than I could remember. He was towering over me, then it struck me that he was on a white horse holding out his hand for me. Was he asking me to ride with him? To where? To the ghost world? Did I have to lose my earthly life to join him? I knew instantaneously that I would gladly give it all up to go to him. The only thing that would tear me would be to part with Cathy. I was about to place my hand on his but I woke up. I decided not to dwell on it. I was learning to cope amicably well unlike after the first incident. I could be attentive to the surroundings. It seemed I was adapting to this unpleasant incidences. Susanna was wonderful. I discovered she as well had a gift for art. She exceeded her sister. It pleased me to know Susanna was better in Dolche in something. I felt this would boost her confidence. 

"your a great artist. "

"you think so miss Vernon?"

"I have a sharp eye. My you even surpass your sister. "

A painful hush. Her eyes dimmed and I reprimanded myself for being tactless. She recovered quickly and said she was pleased. I had a feeling I had revived old memories. I was eager to hear of them but I wouldn't force it out of her. She would have to willingly tell me. I went to the garden after lunch. The wind was still, the sun kind and the flowers bloomed magnificently. It felt serene and then it wasn't. Mr Thomas sought me out. I felt queasy but made sure I remained pleasant. I hoped he wouldn't be impose his feelings on me for I couldn't reciprocate it. I wouldn't dream of tangling myself with the Markham's. The perplexity that filled my life was enough for me to not want another thing thrown in the mix. 

"interesting afternoon Victoria don't you think? "

"how so? "

"the day is gay. The flowers have bloomed and are exuding brilliant colors. "

"it is indeed interesting. "

"what's more interesting is I have found you here. "

"I make my rounds here often. "

"that's the thing my dear Victoria, I've rarely been able to catch up with you. I'm either in one of those boring meetings or working on the house. A house as grand as this needs it's maintenance. "

"I understand so. "

"do you? Well of course you do, you've spent a great deal in flemstead castle I am beginning to think you would want to switch places with your sister was it? "

"my friend Cathy, but we've grown so close. We could be said to be fraternal twins. "

"how fondly you speak of her. "

"she is dear. "

He inclined his head. I looked at the hibiscus and made a mental note to cut them. Cathy loved hibiscus and I was sure she would be thrilled if I arrived with them. Wilting or not. 

"I am yet to ask for your permission to go to the ball? "

"ah the ball. We have received an invitation and you know by all means I will take you with us. "

"I have direct invitation and I am to attend the mock ball as well. "

"now I'm getting jealous. You seem to be entwined with the Holt's. "

"Catherine is there. What involves her will eventually involve me. "

"so she is entwined with the Markham's? "

"I would say so. "

"but we're not firmly rooted are we? "

"I'm afraid I don't understand. "

He made a step closer to me and I stepped back two steps. He was being too forward. But my reluctance wasn't brought forth by that rather the gut feeling that he was after something I couldn't give. His laughter sounded vile. 

"your quite afraid aren't you? "

The only way I could escape whatever he was trying to shed light on was to feint and I did so. 

"I'm afraid you've lost me completely. "

The longing I noticed in his eyes was replaced with dark eyes that spoke volume of the darkness residing within. For a moment I realised I knew not of Mr Thomas. He was nothing as he was. Nothing about the facet of the surface was real. I wondered if I was to see even the slightest truth if I were to be able to stand it. He and Dolche had something in common. He lifted my hand and planted a kiss. He held his gaze on me for an agonizing two minutes and I turned away feeling myself severely scrutinized down to the last atom. 

"I'll take my leave miss Vernon. You may go to the balls. But I'm sure you and I will enjoy the second one after all I shall be present. Don't you think? "

"perhaps. "

I nearly slammed myself for I had answered, well not in the forward manner he would have desired. But all the same it felt like I had given my consent. I had to devise a way to arrive earlier than he. Dolche wouldn't be a worthy distraction. I feared she would even condone her father's behaviors. I walked round the garden after he left mulling over my options. Nothing obstinate came up. I was about to climb up the stairs when I saw Dolche at the top smirking at me. It was as though she felt triumphant. Or had found a way a way to fully vex me. It suddenly dawned on me that she might have been standing there when her father approached me. I wondered if we spoke in low or high decibels. It wouldn't help either way. She must have quickly assessed the situation what with her father being so transparent and I acting apprehensive. I knew I had set my own trap and walked in on it. I wondered how she would play her cards. My ego wouldn't allow me to be anyone's push over. I wouldn't be trampled on. She twisted her ponytail braid as I made my way up cautiously gripping the rails. 

"it's a gay day isn't it miss Vernon?"

I was about to halt on the steps. However I quickly veiled my surprise. It was obvious that she'd heard the whole conversation. What delight it might have caused her. As I thought through my options, I still had an upper hand. Helena wouldn't care less if Mr Thomas had his ways with the governess. But perhaps she could unveil it to a servant in a malicious way. Say I was playing seductive tricks on Mr Thomas to become the mistress of the house. I knew how gossip could be easily weaved once the seed was sown. They'd say I had forged my friendship with Susanna to make her accept me as her stepmother. As for Helena we'd get rid of her with a good dosage of laudanum or go to great lengths to fetch belladonna for her. I could survive their loath after all I had managed to do so alongside Cathy back in rowl after Genevieve's death. The issue however would be to convince Susanna it was rumours. It wouldn't matter but her faith in me could be greatly damaged. I had to resolve that before Dolche beat me to it. 

"it sure is Dolche. You should go out much. "

"what on earth for? To meet my secret love. "

"you and your fancies. Have you nothing of importance to do? You could look at the flowers. I'm sure apart from the hibiscus and the roses you can hardly name the other plants. "

"oh miss Vernon I'm not as dim as you deem me to be. "

"who said you were you were a thick skull. I'm simply pointing out. A woman may run her household and hide behind the trousers of her husband. But society has a way to bring them out and make their intelligence appear. If the smallest of things are not intelligible to her, you can be sure society will be mean. She will no longer be a noble mistress but the nitwit mistress. The one who can't tell between a dandelion and a daffodil. You see what I mean? "

"indeed I do. I see you will be a great mistress. "

"what obscene thoughts. I'll thank you for your well wishes should I ever land a master of a castle I'll remember your good wishes. "

"I sure hope you will. You can even squeeze a good word for me. "

I hurried on past her. She was getting on my nerves and I was all but ready to snap. I thought it not wise to broach the subject during lessons and I couldn't speak with Mrs buttercup, her head ached so she made herself a concoction to soothe the ache. It had lulled her to sleep. Dolche couldn't be as Swift I soothed myself so I went to my room and took my nights sleep. The next day as I was about to go to mrs buttercup I noticed Dolche. I took a step back and noticed her. My face creased as I had never noticed the stairs and I wondered where they led to. How I reprimand myself for my folly. 

"lovely day isn't it miss Vernon?"

"it remains to be seen. "

Then I stared at the stairs once more and she picked up on my curiosity. 

"I'm not doing anything wrong,miss Vernon. Simply headed to the basement. You have seen it right? "

"no. " how impetuous to not gauge the situation for my curiosity to know the whereabouts of the basement drove me. She gasped dramatically and I thought to myself what a talented actress she made. She would fit the plays admirably well. 

"you haven't? "

"no. "

How I wish I would have noticed her wicked grin. She came up with a strategic plan. Rather a foul prank which I was dumb enough to fall for. Or was it my pride. 

"then come with me miss Vernon. I was going to fetch something a few of my dresses that I considered castoffs but now I have thought them worthy. Now that the ball is approaching. "

Nothing had escaped her of the conversation her father and I had. I was hesitant but I saw the look in her eyes. They were challenging me. Seeking me to cower before her. Should I have denied to accompany her , it would be an instant goal for her. That I had indeed succumbed like the rest. I wish I had chosen cowardice over a put up bravado. For though I agreed to accompany her I couldn't help feel frightful. Every turn we took down the stairs I kept looking back praying I hadn't made an irreversible error. My legs felt like lead as we walked on. My hands to weak to hold on to the rails. It was dark and that should have been an indicator to turn back and say my curiosity had been satiated but I stayed on. 

"there's a lamp in the room, miss Vernon. "

"very well. "

For a modern house I found it perplexing that a log should be fastened as the lock. She pulled it with slight effort despite its weight. A clear show she had grown accustomed as she had made her way to the basement countless times. Once the door fell ajar the smell of turpentine and wax hit me. There was an eerie feel to the room. I acted oblivious to how Dolche was reluctant to let go of the log. My feigned bravery wouldn't allow me to show a slight hint of cowardice. 

"the lamp is somewhere here. You check the left shelf and I the right. I simply inclined. I let Dolche walk a safe distance away from the door then I walked to the left looking briefly at the left shelf. I was about to declare I had seen no lamp when I heard her running and I knew what her plan was. But I wasn't swift and she locked me in. I tried to reason with her to open the door. I said it calmly at first not betraying how frightened I was. 

"Miss Dolche quit playing your dirty pranks and open the door. "

I heard her devilish giggle as she made her way up. My mind began to whirl. A stampede went about their way in the pit of my belly. My breathing hastened and my heart was pounding loudly. It was likely I'd die of fright than lack of air first. I began to wonder when I would exhaust the air. There were no windows. No outlets. Dolche wouldn't force feed me so I would hunger and thirst. The breakfast I took would only last me half a day or quarterly. I banged the door and screamed out her name until my voice was reduced to a hoarse one. No one could hear me I was sure for the basement was far down. The smell of turpentine and wax combined chocked me. I recalled the dungeons at flemstead. The fate of the unsuspecting victims. They must have felt as I did when they realised they were locked in. No signs of the sunlight. In a dark room. They must have been driven insane when they saw bones of the dead scattered about. I shut my eyes trying to avert the memory of the skull I had stepped on. Luckily I hadn't seen it but I had stepped on it. My lips trembled and my teeth clashed in an unrhythmic way. I squatted near the left shelf and began chattering an orison when I heard the log pulled then the door opened. 

"Miss. Miss? "

I looked up and saw Susanna followed by Mrs buttercup. I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed by the state they found me in. I embraced Susanna gratefully. Mrs buttercup went on hurling insults at Dolche. Mrs buttercup guided me to her room and Susanna followed meekly. Mrs buttercup dismissed her as she sat me down. Then preceded to Prepare ginger tea for me. I wasn't sure I would be able to drink up anything after what had happened. 

"Miss Vernon, I'm sorry we hadn't warned you enough. It's good we found you in time. "

I didn't want to contemplate if they found me four days later. Or a month or a year. I would be nothing but bones or worse I would never be sane again. She handed me the cup and I stared at it unsure. She placed it on the table instead. 

"I'm sorry miss Vernon. "

"I have to thank you for saving me. "

"you don't need to sound composed. That child is an imp. "

"a dirty hoax it was. "

"I wish they were harmless but they aren't. If you stayed there longer miss Vernon... "

"I don't want to ponder on it. "

A silence engulfed and it felt as though Mrs buttercup was about to let the cat out. For she was and she did. 

"it's only right for you to know how far she can go. You've already received a taste of it. "

I couldn't betray my eagerness to know. I said calmly. 

"if you wish to. "

Mrs buttercup was anxious and her rotund figure looked greatly discomforted as she trembled. 

"she nearly drowned Susanna. "