The Devil's Incarnate

Secrets Of The Night

Cathy called me twice but I was in a daze. It's only when she shook me did I step out of my faze.

"what's come of you? "

"nothing," I feigned. It troubled me. Why did I hear his sitar in flemstead. But he was probing my thoughts day and night. It was no surprise that his strings tormented me. The sound was faint yet distinct. I queried if either Holt's were interested in instruments. There just had to be a logical reason. When Cathy answered that neither did, I felt my world whirl. It must have been my mind conjuring something that wasn't there. How long would I remain imprisoned by his thoughts. Max came up to Cathy. He had the look of his mother and the Holt's all in one. I was lost in my thought and couldn't pay him much attention. He must have thought I wasn't one to warm up for after an exchange of greetings he focused solely on Cathy. I heard her applaud him for giving accurate information. The rest of the conversation I didn't listen but they had grown fond of each other. I could see Max was eager to shine in her eyes. If Cathy was accurate which I'm sure she was, I knew he always wanted to shine in his father's eyes. Mr Will pulled up the carriage and I half listened as Cathy explained Max's maths. She must have noticed I was lost for she said with a hint of annoyance.

"better go through this again Vicky. I've been talking on and on to a stone wall. "

We bade each other farewell and I cast flemstead one last look. Wondering how elaborate were my imaginations that I could hear his sitar and the tunes so distinctly. It was aggravating to think he would forever remain a thorn in my flesh wherever it is I went. I had gone to the castle and cast away thoughts of him immersed with the beauty of the castle. Only to have it ruined at the ending. Or maybe he were communicating to me. If he were indeed a ghost then he was making his reappearance. I reprimanded myself for having this gift. For if I were normal I would be courted by a normal human living and breathing. If I were normal there would be a logical reason. But I had a gift and I had to be open to the idea of a ghost encounter. There I was nagged by a ghost. My affections fuelling and yet our relationship could never be fulfilled. For how does one go about making a life with a ghost. Planning for their children and growing old together. A mortal and immortal were simply a case of immiscible liquids. Was it conveying it's sorrow. Yet he or it had started with a lighter melody. What was the purpose of it? Why did it come in that pattern? Mr Will wasn't in the mood to speak so was Jeremy and I was glad to wallow in my thoughts without intrusion. I wondered what my avuncular would have said. For uncle Carr was always an understanding soul. Never quick to judge or belittle one's feelings. I had told him of my gift and explained to him how I dreamt of my parents death. Then it happened as it did.

"Victoria, the good lord gives us gifts. We can't begin to fathom as to why we have them or of what good cause they'll bring. But in time dear you shall. That dream might have been a warning or preparation for you, a mark of transition. Don't fret about it. The answers come when need be. "

How I wished he were still around to give me his wise counsel. I missed him gravelly but not as acutely I assumed as Cathy missed her father. But there was no measure for pain

No pain could outweigh another. We reached Markham's and I quickly ran to my room. Shut myself in and sought the comfort of my bed. When Amelia asked if she could bring my supper up I declined and she was slightly worried. I assured her I was full yet the truth was I couldn't stomach anything. I wished some god would have pity on me and lift this dark cloud. That night I dreamt of Edward again. Playing his sitar. He looked as earthly as any being and I myself drawn just as I had been that night. But it was intense. Then the dream shifted to that of me in flemstead castle awaiting entry when a white horse galloped past me.

I woke up the next day revamped with energy and determined not to have my week ruined. The lessons went on and I tried to indulge Susanna in the topics she liked. But studies were clearly not the tactic to form any bond with Susanna. I called on Mrs buttercup at noon time. She was knitting a scarf for Susanna.

"is it her birthday any time soon?"

For it was the only reason I could think why Mrs buttercup was busying knitting. It seemed a laborious task to her. She was clearly an amateur.

"no. Just something I thought I should work on and gift my Susanna. "

"ooh. "

"but you can see I'm not as gifted. "

I flushed. I didn't mean it to seem so pellucid.

"I know of people who couldn't even start knitting. "

"you're fluttering I know. I haven't run out of elderberry wine as yet. Shall you have it? I must be sure to begin to replenish for next year's stock. I can't have us thirsting,can I? "

I agreed to the wine. Next year seemed a century too long for me. If the words that rung in my mind were right, next year I wouldn't taste of Mrs buttercup's grand wine. But it seemed too far away for me to begin brooding over it.

"Mrs buttercup if I am to achieve some camaraderie with Susanna, isn't it convenient that I should start with the heart of the matter. "

"you haven't stopped in your attempts? "

"I feel a tutor should be more than just a tutor but a sort of friend to the student. Tell me does Susanna have something she adores more than anything else.?"

I watched Mrs buttercup's eyes enlarge with ecstasy. Everything Susanna adored and the memories might have been flooding at that moment.

"Susanna is a dear child. She loves everything. But one thing she has loved are horses. "

I almost leapt. I was an expert with horses.

"so she's an excellent rider? "

Suddenly her eyes clouded with mist.

"no. The poor thing has been scared of the repercussions."

"what do you mean? "

"horses are dangerous. Say if she should fall while riding? One bad turn spoils the enthusiasm for everything. "

"had she fallen previously. "

"no."

She looked at her quarterly made scarf as though it was interesting and demanded attention. I reasoned, 'If she was going to avoid giving me a straight answer, she might have done it with tact. '

"so I can give her riding lessons?"

She turned toward me. A wave of alarm displayed in her rotund form.

"oh I wouldn't suggest it. Suppose she fall?"

"I excel in that field Mrs buttercup. She will be well looked after. "

"oh I don't know miss Vernon. It's a question of trust. If she gave her trust again and be hurt? "

She bit her lip. She had already clued me in. I began to wonder who of the three culprits had broken Susanna's trust in them. Hadn't they all? I pretended to be oblivious to the fact that she had let something slip

"Mrs buttercup, it's of importance that a girl like Susanna especially in her stature should learn to ride. I shall give her lessons and not expect anything in return. I'm not one for returns. "

"I wasn't suggesting that miss Vernon . "

My deviation had worked.

" how about it then? I shall give her lessons. "

"it's so dangerous. I'm not sure. "

"I'll be on her look out. After all it's not as though we will go on foreign territories and ask for horses. They are right here. You can easily watch us from your window. "

She visibly calmed.

"I give my consent. Well after Mr Thomas does. "

I gestured. The concern she showed was strange but Susanna was like a daughter to her. Of course she would look after Susanna's best interest. The only secret she imparted with that day was she made the scarf in memory of her daughter. The one that had escaped the jaws of death in the womb. Saw a month's daylight and no more. Her Memorial Day would be soon. She didn't want to think if it and what better way to divert than to make a scarf for Susanna. I wish I were lucky to have something to distract me. But Edward Compton I feared would forever cast his shadow on me. I worked on the entrance to the castle. I hit dead ends. I could not see a way in. Mr Thomas called me to his library that night. I began to question if I had done everything right for I hadn't asked for an audience as yet. I planned to ask him about the riding lessons the following day. Nevertheless it was best I should have everything settled. He had eagerly awaited me. His eyes set on the door the second I walked in.

"Victoria . "

"Mr Thomas. "

"you have forgotten our agreement. "

"pardon me. "

"your insistence on formality is worrisome. "

"why say so? "

"you shall know. Do tell me how are you progressing? "

"your child is getting the best. "

"and you? "

"what do you mean? "

"you went to the Holt's. "

"it was a worthwhile visit. "

"you don't say. "

"yes. " I felt my spirits begin to rise as I reminisced it all.

"you look radiant. I take it the castle is more charming. "

How easily my emotions plastered on my face.

"they're equal. "

"I haven't known you to lie. "

"I am being sincere. "

"but a castle of ancient times appeals more. "

"I say no such thing. "

"I see your adamant to hide away your true emotions. Tell me was the ride smooth. "

"it was more than splendid. "

"now that was sincere. "

I felt it was out of place To be talking about carriages and homes. So I shifted to something worthy of concern

"Mr Thomas, I am requesting that you allow me to give Susanna riding lessons. "

"are you an expert?. "

"I have never taught one how to ride. But I am an excellent horsewoman. "

"another feather to her hat. By all means do go right ahead. "

"are you sure? "

"yes by all means. "

There was no hesitancy unlike in Mrs Buttercup's case. I felt a sudden wave of triumph nonetheless for I was sure I would make Susanna an excellent horsewoman. Horse riding would be an easy way to get away from the house. I rose up to excuse myself when he caught my hand and patted it.

"thank you miss Vernon. "

I told him it was my pleasure to teach Susanna. Then he took my hand and planted a kiss. I withdrew my hand quickly and said ,"good night Mr Thomas. "

He looked at me and I noticed there was longing. I quickly went up to my room. The last thing I needed was a man with two kids and a wife to begin courting me. A ghost, eleven years of age was a handful.

I announced the news to Susanna. For we were to start that afternoon an hour after lunch. The faster the better. At first she seemed mortified. However her love for horses won over. I noticed her smiling. She was looking forward to it. I was weighing my options on which riding habit to wear when she knocked eagerly at my door. It didn't please her to notice I hadn't changed as yet.

"Miss Vernon, do please hurry. "

I said I'd be out in a minute. If this went on smoothly I should thank Cathy. Well regardless of what happened I should. The child enlivened with the prospect of riding horses that I noticed the creeping anxiety of her sister's appearance was cast aside. Dolche's arrival had been delayed. There were transportation issues. I sensed the relief in Mr Will when he told me so, when we met on my way up the stair heading to the library the yester night. I settled on the velvet riding habit as Cathy had always said it was more becoming.

We made our way to the stables. Cecily was there eager and ready for me. We went over the options for Susanna. It was important she should start with a pony. A mild creature before she could handle the highly spirited. I settled on a mare namely patty. I handed Susanna some sugar and watched her feed the animal. It petrified her at first but she got comfortable. I watched her pat the horse and converse. It was vital to make the horse aware of one. Lest it shall resist and demand for its freedom. I helped her mount patty then after I mounted Cecily and held on the reins to take them round. Cecily was eager to exercise and I had to tame her. I watched Susanna. She felt exultant. I watched the flush in her cheeks, the twinkle in her eyes. She put both arms in the air capturing the moment. I let her have it for the meantime but it was of importance to remain solely focused. There would be a time when she could ride and have her concentration divided. I knew it would be soon seeing how she easily took to it. The expression on her face was priceless, it reminded me when I was younger. Cathy and I would escape the house to go watch the horse race. Uncle Carr was always reluctant to punish us, he only said a word or two. When one of the prestigious families asked uncle Carr one Sunday afternoon if there was a favor he could grant him he said there was. We found it unusual for he usually said he was content. When he told the man if he could teach us how to ride horses, I had never known such joy. Uncle Carr was rewarded with pecks on his cheeks. I had never seen him so flushed. Our first ride the reins were held but I had never felt so elated and I know Cathy shared my sentiments. We took about ten rounds for Susanna kept begging for more and I warned her to be attentive for soon she would have to take full control. She obliged and I had never seen her so eager even in the schoolroom. When we came to a c****x I caught sight of Mr Thomas. I hadn't noticed his presence. On the last round I let Susanna hold the reins but I rode side by side with her ready to launch into action if something uneventful occurred and I was glad when we the ride ended without a hitch. Susanna dismounted reluctantly. She said her greetings with her father and they conversed slightly and she left him immediately after. Eager to tell Mrs buttercup of everything. But I wasn't too sure Mrs buttercup would need any telling. I could have sworn she stood by the window the entire time watching. Her eyes were that of a eagle's when it came to Susanna. Mr Thomas helped me get off Cecily and it filled me with an aversion when his hands lingered longer. I gently shoved him back. But he didn't seem the least troubled by my move. He simply smiled at me wanly.

"that was exceptional."

"I'm humbled you think so. "

"I don't think I can give it the right words. "

"all these practice shall yield then the words can express."

"you have an answer for everything I see. "

"not always. "

He made a step closer and I stepped away with immediacy.

"are you going to the Holt's on Saturday ? "

"it's not the Holt's I'm calling in on but my friend Cathy. Yes I am going. "

I had almost forgotten I was to go back to the castle and survey the circuits entrance. I silently wished I shan't hear Edward's sitar again for it made me disquiet.

"you shall go with the carriage. "

He said it with a finality but I was determined to ride my way there. I had mastered my way.

"no I shall ride Cecily. I know the path. "

Going with Cecily would be an advantage I could set my eyes on Terrence for I didn't have that much time when Mr Will announced.

"no I insist Victoria. My prestige is at stake. Shall you arrive there fatigued and then be forced to arrive the same way? I wouldn't like to be thought of as a cruel master. "

I preferred he offer me the carriage as a mere show off to the Holt's than his affection.

I complied to his wishes and noticed the longing in his eyes once again. I hurried past him, I had the intuition he might want to express himself. I didn't want to be burdened. I wondered what were Mr Thomas actual feelings towards me. A night's passion or love. I would have thought myself conceited to think I could inspire both in Mr Thomas. Then a thought crossed my mind, suppose I shan't stay for long due to Mr Thomas feelings? I shrugged of the idea, I couldn't be that attractive to draw that much attention. Or a scandal of sorts.

Dolche still hadn't arrived and I could see the household slightly relaxed for they had been acting like hens who's feathers had been ruffled. The week ran smoothly and on Friday, Susanna managed four rounds on her own. She was filled with ecstasy and I watched her animated look as she explained it to Mrs buttercup. In a span of that week, we had managed to talk less formally and she invited me when she went to see Mrs buttercup. Her acid manner toward me was slowly fading. Mrs buttercup praised my tactic but I knew to whom I should thank. My feelings were between two sides. I longed to see the castle and to see the Holt's but to be quite honest I didn't wish to hear the sitar or anything that reminded me of Edward. Yet there he was in my dreams and thoughts. I could hardly sleep that Friday night. I was thinking about Edward ,the sitar and my emotions. I recalled the duo rather twins from North America who came to Europe, telling everyone and everything they came across of their theory. The human mind could construct fantasies and make them to life. It was plausible for one to confuse reality and fantasy. Their other theory was of course that it was possible to speak to the dead. Their two theories didn't serve them well. One mocked the other. But as I sat on my window seat revelling in the moon light, I weighed my options. I had a gift so I was more inclined to the second theory. How unfortunate it was that the twins were chased away as a result of the callous manner of everyone who thought them to be lunatics. I would have liked to speak to them. It would shed some light. Or at least make me understand why things were so. I wished I would set my eyes on Edward once again and demand an answer from him. How does one go summoning spirits when one desires, I wondered. A shrill intruded my thoughts. I stood up suddenly. Then I heard it again. I opened my door and listened again. There it was. It was from Tudor wing. I wrapped the shawl in a haphazard manner and made my way to Tudor wing. I stumbled a couple of times as I didn't carry my candle. Several of the servants were making their way. I followed and noticed the distress call came from Susanna's room. Mrs buttercup pushed her way inside. Another shrill. Helena made her appearance clearly vexed as she shouted at us, "would you shut the child up!"

Had I not be sick with worry I would not have minded engaging in a hassle. Indifferent even towards her own child. But she wasn't part of my concern. I made my way in and saw Susanna sobbing bitterly. She had been awakened. Mrs buttercup rocked her as she tried to calm her.

"Mrs buttercup save me. I can't swim. I can't. Dolche come back for me! Dolche! "