Fate Switch

Chapter 39

Chapter 39: Blank Space

Wait the worst is yet to come...

Deign’s POV

My Father's arrival

Habang kumakain kami ng tanghalian ay biglang may nagdoorbell.

"Mrs. Galvez! Mrs. Galvez!"

"Ay teka may naghahanap sa akin." Sabay tayo ni tita at pumunta siya sa pintuan.

"Si papa na ata 'yan." Bigla akong natakot. Naramdaman ko ulit yung naramdaman ko nung nasa rest house kami sa Laguna. Teka hindi. Mas matinding takot pa ito kesa doon. This is a matter of life and death.

At bumalik si Tita sa dining area ng may kasama ng lalaki. Matangkad, moreno, balbasin, matangos ang ilong, mukhang mas matanda pa sa papa ni Grey. Nakasuot siya ng suit na para bang isa siyang business executive sa isang company.

"Papa!" bigla kong nasabi.

"Nakaayos na ba ang mga gamit mo?" tanong sa akin ni papa. "Bilisan mo na at aalis na tayo."

"Hindi po siya aalis!" sabi ni Grey sabay harang niya ng kamay sa akin.

"At sino ka para sabihin sa akin 'yan?" At tumaas ang dalawang kilay ni papa.

"Pa! Hindi po ako aalis. Sila na lang po ang magpapaaral sa akin." Paliwanag ko.

"Mahiya ka nga Deign! Nang-aabala ka pa ng ibang tao." At nagsalubong na ang kilay ni papa.

"Ikaw ang mahiya pa! Iniwan mo kami ni mama! Ni hindi ka man lang nagparamdam sa amin!"

"Hindi ko kayo iniwan! Nagtrabaho ako sa Amerika para buhayin ko kayo. Ako ang nagpapadala parati ng pera sa inyo. Ako ang dahilan kung bakit may bahay pa kayong tinitirhan. Ako ang dahilan kung bakit may nakakain pa kayo araw-araw."

Natahimik ako. All this time nagsisinungaling lang pala sa akin si mama. Pinaniwala niya akong iniwan na kami ni papa para sa babae niya.

"Totoo po ba 'yang sinasabi niyo?" mahinahong tanong ko kay papa.

"Oo!' sagot niya. "Halika na at umalis na tayo. Mahaba haba pa ang biyahe."

"Pero pa! Kung ayaw niyo pong sila ang magpaaral sa akin edi dito niyo na lang po ako pag-aralin sa Pilipinas. Ayoko na pong umalis dito."

"Pero nangako ako sa mama mo na ako na ang mag-aalaga sa iyo. At sa Amerika siguradong makakakuha ka kaagad dun ng magandang trabaho pag nakatapos ka na. O kaya naman ay pag nakatapos ka na ay pwede ka namang bumalik dito sa Pilipinas. Tayong dalawa."

"Ayoko pa rin po! Ayoko iwan si Grey!"

"Wag ng matigas ang ulo mo Deign!" sigaw ni papa.

"Isama po natin si Grey sa Amerika." Suggestion ko.

"Pero Deign. Paano naman kami?" singit ng mama ni Grey. "Mga magulang rin kami."

Naiyak ako. Wala na akong maisip na paraan. Mayadong ma pride si papa. At ganun rin ako. Walang mangyayari sa usapang to. Walang gustong magpatalo. Naalala ko yung sinabi sa akin ni mama na magtapos ako ng pag-aaral para sa kaniya at tuparin ko ang pangarap ko kahit wala na siya.

"Kaya kong mag-isa!" yun na lang ang nasabi ko.

"Kung kaya mo mag-isa eh bakit ka nakikitira dito kina Mrs. Galvez?"

At lumuhod si Grey sa harapan ni papa.

"Parang awa niyo na po. Dito niyo na lang po pag-aralin si Deign." Pagmamakaawa ni Grey.

"Pa! Mahal na mahal ko po si Grey at ayoko siyang iwanan."

"Anong connect nun sa pag-aaral mo sa Amerika. Mag-aaral ka lang! Hindi ka magpapakamatay Deign! Grow up!"

Hindi ko na kinaya ang mga pangyayari kaya tumakbo ako palabas ng bahay diretso papunta sa bahay namin habang hawak hawak ko ng mahigpit yung pendant na regalo sa akin ni Grey. Habang kumakaripas ako ng takbo ay meron ring ambulansiyang papalapit sa kinaroroonan ko. Napakabilis din ng takbo ng ambulansiya at papalakas ng papalakas yung wang-wang nito habang papalapit ito ng papalapit sa akin.

"ALIS DIYAN!!!!!" sigaw nung driver. At sinubukan nilang pumreno pero nabangga pa rin ako at nabitawan ko yung pendant.

…

Note to self:

“If I had to take a guess and say the one thing that probably everyone [in this stadium] has in common, I think I would say that one thing would be...that we all like the feeling of finding something real.

Like...you know, finding real friendship or finding real love or somebody who really gets you or someone who’s really honest with you.

I think - I think that’s what we’re really all looking for in life, and I think the things that can scare us the most in life are the things that we think will threaten the prospect of us finding something real.

For example, having a bad reputation, in our mind, could get in the way of you finding real friendship, real love, real acceptance, people you really fit in with.

Because you think to yourself, “what if they’ve heard something about me that isn’t true? What if they’ve got these preconceived notions about me that they heard from gossip? And then they never even wanna meet me, and then we’ll never know what could’ve happened.”

And I think that’s why some of us - meaning most, if not all of us, are sort of afraid of having a bad reputation. Because we’re so scared of something fake, like gossip or a rumor about you, or a name you got called, getting in the way of you finding something real.

And so when it comes down to that fear and that anxiety, it’s just all really delicate, don’t you think?

…

Song for him:

Last Kiss

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered for just us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

Away

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go

Sit on the floor wearing your clothes

All that I know is I don't know

How to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you're showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then you'd pull me in

I'm not much for dancing but for you I did

Because I love your handshake, meeting my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something

There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go

Sit on the floor wearing your clothes

All that I know is I don't know

How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you you wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in the weather and time

But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go

Sit on the floor wearing your clothes

All that I know is I don't know

How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss

Forever the name on my lips

Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last...