Don Vidal

7 - Doing what I must for my baby

Marnie

Who would have thought pregnancy would be this expensive?

Doctor’s visits are the most expensive. I don’t have medical insurance yet because I can’t afford it, and Paul took me off his. Not that I expected anything else.

I won’t be able to afford everything I need without taking on a second job. Because there’s no way on this earth I will let my sister and her husband pay for the things I need; this baby is my responsibility, not my sister’s.

I need a second job because the job I managed to get at the pet store in town doesn’t pay enough. It wasn’t easy to find that job, never mind a second one. Brooke said she’d ask Draven if there was any work going for me at his restaurant. I soon shot that down. There is no way on earth I want to go anywhere near that man after the way he spoke to me. I did thank her, though. It was nice of her to try.

After a couple of days, I managed to find a job waitressing in a restaurant not too far from Brooke's house, so I wouldn’t have far to drive. I don’t know who’s looking down on me right now, but two jobs are not easy to come by in this town.

Of course, Brooke is unhappy about the second job; she doesn’t think it’s wise for me to work so many hours in my condition. However, if I want a home of my own, I need to save money. It’s crazy to think of how much I need to buy for this child. Although, I’m not going to buy anything until I have my own place set up.

I’ve found a little apartment on the other side of town. It’s tiny but big enough for the baby and me. I just need the bond and the first and last month’s rent — three thousand dollars, which apparently isn’t too bad for this area. I also need enough money for furniture and things for the baby. Then I need to keep my old banger of a car running. In truth, I need thousands of dollars, which I’m not likely to get any time soon. It all seems so hopeless right now.

How on this earth am I meant to get the kind of money I need?

Draven wants nothing to do with me, with the baby. The bastard called me a bitc.h and a liar. I could demand child support, but where would that get me? Killed, more than likely. Fuc.k him.

I don’t need him for anything. I didn’t even want anything from him; I just wanted my baby to know its father. Plenty of kids in this world are raised by their mothers, never knowing their fathers, and they grow up just fine. My child will be just fine without a father. I’ll make sure of it.

I won’t lie, though, working two jobs is exhausting. I start at the pet store in town at 8 AM and don’t finish until 5 PM. I have half an hour for lunch in between, but that’s all. I then have an hour to get home and change before my shift at the restaurant, which starts at 6 PM. I then work until 11 PM.

By the time I get home, shower, and change, it’s well after midnight. My whole body aches, not to mention my feet hurt continuously. Sometimes, to the point my ankles feel like they’re going to snap.

I have no idea how long I’m going to be able to work like this, but I know I can’t stop until I have enough for what I need. I doubt very much that’s going to happen, but I have to try. Every little bit I can put away, including the tips I get at the restaurant, helps.

“Can you bring us a bottle of white, please?” I nod with a smile to the young man trying to impress his date.

The young woman looks bored out of her mind. She keeps playing with the tight curls of her hair at the nape of her neck, and her dark skin shines in the dim light above her head. Her figure is that of a supermodel, and I envy her. She’s beautiful and then some.

Bringing them back the bottle of wine, I notice a man staring at me through the corner of my eye, and I almost drop the bottle on the floor while my stomach drops to my feet.

Paul.

He’s sitting at a table in my section by the window, watching me.

What the hell does he want?

He hasn’t once tried to contact me in the weeks I’ve been gone.

What could he possibly want from me now?

Could he have received the divorce papers already?

Shepard, the President of Snakes Henchmen MC, organized it all for me. He said the MC would pay for the lawyer, and I had nothing to worry about. Something about it didn’t seem right to me. Divorce isn’t easy in Tennessee, especially if Paul contests it. Shepard told me he has friends in high places, and I’m not to stress myself out over something he can easily sort.

How can I not stress over it?

Regardless, I swore I’d repay him, but Shepard told me he wouldn’t hear of it. He’s a good man, but I don’t like letting others pay my way. That’s why I’m trying to put as much by as I can in order to pay him back as well as everything else.

I’m kidding myself that I’ll ever be out of his debt. I can work my fingers to the bone for the next ten years, and I still wouldn’t have everything I need. I suppose I could apply for a credit card, but again, I’d never be out of debt with the damn thing. I’ve never had one of my own because he paid for everything while I was married to Paul.

I’m trying to avoid Paul by keeping busy, but it won’t work when he hasn’t taken his eyes off me yet. The bruises on my face may have all but disappeared, but I still feel the effects of his beating whenever I apply eye makeup. The trouble is, I know he’s not going to go away until I’ve spoken to him. I can’t even leave through the back door because I know him; he’ll follow me, and shi.t will get ugly.

I can't afford to lose this job, so what other choice do I have?

“I want to talk to you.” He says in his fake, all-too-sweet voice the second I walk by him.

I close my eyes for a second and breathe deeply. “I’m working, Paul. I don’t have time for this.”

“I’ll wait for you to finish.”

And he does, he sits there for three hours watching me work, right up until my shift ends. I should have known he wouldn’t let me go that easily. I’m surprised he didn’t come looking for me before now. That makes me wonder what he has up his sleeve. I should call Hawk and ask him to collect me, but I know he’s busy this evening.

Fuc.k my life!

I won’t be able to avoid him, so I may as well get it over with.

I might not have been in love with Paul when we were forced to get married, but I did try to make our marriage work. We had some okay times, times when he didn’t hate the sight of me, I can't say that we didn’t. However, as soon as he got a promotion at work, he became an even bigger monster.

Paul is an accountant, and he’s always striving to be better. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when the stress of work causes you to beat your wife worse than before, then something is very wrong indeed.

The man didn’t even have se.x with me half the time. He was always tired, always some excuse as to why he couldn’t. Not that I wanted to have se.x with him, I was quite happy to go without. However, it doesn’t make a woman feel very good when her husband tells her that she’s so very unattractive, and he can’t get hard because of it. When he had se.x with me, he got his and left me feeling unfulfilled. Maybe that had something to do with the fact I was never very wet or turned on for him, or perhaps it had a lot to do with the fact he didn’t care even to try.

Of course, I knew about his other women, that’s the real reason he didn’t want to touch me. There was always some bitc.h that was thinner than me, prettier than me, and didn’t talk back like me. Paul constantly belittled me about my weight. I’ve never been overweight, but I’ve never been stick thin either.

I like to eat, what’s wrong with that?

When Draven showed me a little attention at Brooke’s wedding, I was beyond pent up from the lack of a man’s touch. From a man showing me any kind of attention, and Draven made me feel so fuckin.g beautiful.

Was I so wrong in taking comfort from a man who actually wanted me?

Not that he wants me now. A man like Draven Vidal uses women and then tosses them aside. I never expected him to fall in love with me or anything, but I thought he was a better man than he proved to be. He’s vile, mean, and nasty, and I hope I never have to see him again. If he doesn’t want this baby, then fine! But I want it. I want my baby so badly I would do anything for them.

I thought I was being smart by sneaking out the back to avoid Paul. It’s a little after 11 PM, I’m exhausted, and all I want is to get home and sleep. I should have known Paul would be waiting by my car. I didn’t even realize he’d left the restaurant, but there he is, leaning back against my car like he owns it.

“Thought you could sneak away without talking to me, huh?”

“What do you want, Paul? I’m tired. I need to get home.”

“That’s why I’m here, to take you home. I think three weeks is plenty of time for you to have sorted out your head.”

“My head?” Mental case! “You were the one who beat the hell out of me, Paul. You were the one who...”

“Who what?” He takes a step towards me. I’m not scared of him as such, but he does give me the creeps. “Aren't you the one knocked up by some random you met?”

How the hell does he know?

I haven’t told many people, and those who do know would never tell this man. I swallow hard.

“How do you think that made me feel, huh?”

“I don’t know, Paul, but don’t make out like you’re a saint. You’ve slept with so many behind my back that I lost count! I didn’t get pregnant to hurt you, though,” I say more calmly. “It was an accident.”

“And the father?”

“He doesn’t want to know.”

What’s the point of lying?

Draven doesn’t want to know.

I flinch as Paul grabs my face in his hands. Not because he scared me but because I wasn’t expecting him to touch me in any way.

“I’m not angry with you, Marnie. I know how desperately you wanted to be a mother. I couldn’t give you that, and I hated myself for it. I know I’ve not shown it enough, but I do love you.”

Okay then. If he says so. Love is not battering your wife within an inch of her life!

“This is just perfect. You, me, and this baby,”

I pull away from him. I don’t want him touching my stomach. This baby is mine and mine alone.

“There is no you and me, Paul.”

“I know, the divorce. Which I won’t give you,” Yes, I knew that all along. “You’re my wife. Mine! I will never let you go.”

“You don’t have a choice but to let me go, Paul. You and I are done.”

“You will come home, and you will cancel the divorce, or I promise you, I will make your family suffer.”

I take a deep breath. “Then make them suffer, Paul.”

I won’t let him blackmail me. He can do what he wants; it’s not like my family give a damn about me. They have to know that Paul and I are no longer together, and if they don’t, then he’s pretending that nothing is wrong. Paul won’t get near Brooke because she is well-protected. As I don’t give a shi.t about my brothers, Paul can do whatever he wants.

“You don’t mean that, Marnie.”

“I mean it. I don’t care what you do, and I don’t want to be with you.”

“You cannot raise a baby alone!”

I rub my forehead in frustration. “Yes, I can. I cannot and will not bring a baby into a violent home. Please sign the papers, and for God’s sake, leave me alone!”

I push past him, climb into my car, and start the engine. Paul stares at me through the window, and I know, at this moment, he’s never going to let me go. He’s never going to leave me alone, and I am never going to be happy while he’s still around. I know one thing for sure, though; I will not wait around for him to hit me again.