Chapter 4- Constant Person
1306 Words
Song for Chapter:
Don't Forget About Me by Cloves
***
"Where exactly is Alex? " I demanded without greeting as I approached Cameron who was leaning against his car in the parking lot.
I saw eyes lingering in our direction, and I could smell the gossip already. That was yet another reason why I was annoyed that Cameron showed up instead of Alex; and he wasn't even subtle about it either. Nope. He was bracing against the car with the music a little bit too high, and his stupid shades that looked so remarkably good on his stupid face only made the situation even stupider!
"It's nice to see you too Jamie" He coolly stated as if he didn't notice my annoyance. I simply rolled my eyes as I stopped a few feet away from him and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Why couldn't Alex come?"
"Oh I had a great day. And you? " He asked, totally avoiding my question.
I gave him an unamused look as he tried to keep his grin at bay. Finally, he gave in and answered my actual question. "I overheard him blowing off a hot chick this morning because he had to come pick you up, so I told him to go live a little"
He opened the door for me and I reluctantly got in, then he joined me soon after on the driver's side. I couldn't help the twinge in my chest at the mention of Alex abandoning me for some girl. I was definitely jealous.
Not in a girl-boy way, but I was indeed jealous.
"Why would you do that for him? You guys talk but you're friends" I inquired as I buckled up just as we pulled out of the school's parking lot.
"Who said I did it for him? "
I didn't respond since my mind wasn't even registering his question. All I could think about was the girl Alex was with.
"You do know that his life doesn't revolve around you right? And the dude's so blindly committed to you, that he doesn't even notice it" He added when I didn't answer.
My chest ached because I knew it was true. Alex has a life of his own and he doesn't have to be there for me every single time I need him.
"I know that" I unintentionally snapped. He seemed shocked by my outburst as he looked between me and the road for a few seconds.
"Sorry" I mumbled after I felt bad. "It's just...just-"
"You're jealous."
"Yes but not like how you think " I reassured, which made him visibly relax for some reason.
"So you aren't jealous because he's with a girl? "
"No no. God no." I shook my head. "I love him but only as a friend. I don't see anything beyond that. But it's just that a girl means.. " I trailed off since I truly had no clue how to end that sentence.
I teased Alex all the time about getting a girlfriend, but I didn't mean it. It's selfish of me, very selfish, but a girl in his life could potentially ruin our friendship and eventually take him away from me.
Cameron rested a hand on my bare knee and gave me a soft smile in gratitude ."You can tell me" He assured me genuinely. I bit my lip as I fiddled with my hands, pondering on my thoughts. How do I even start?
"A girl in Alex's life means a girl in my life and I'm not too sure about how our relationship will work"
"Our relationship? " He asked with a small chuckle, and I realized just how weird that sounded.
"I mean with me and her, our friendship or whatever." I sighed. "You saw how close we are, and even you thought we were together. Can you imagine what his girlfriend will think? She'll force him to kick me out because she'll feel threatened by our closeness. And if he loves me enough and refuses, she'll do obnoxious things like have s*x with him very loudly in the middle of the night until I'm sleepless and annoyed and eventually move out of his apartment and life "
I finished with a breath, when I noticed that Cameron had pulled over and was watching me strangely.
"You've really thought about this, haven't you? " I nodded slowly with a sigh as I continued to pour out one of my deepest fears to a guy I met two nights ago and, might I add, almost had drunk s*x with.
"Alex has been one of the only constant people in my life for the past four years and I'm just scared to lose him you know? And when you're scared to lose someone, you think about all the possible ways you could. This being one of them " I tried to explain, hoping he understood. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.
He sighed and turned fully around to face me. His eyes looked conflicted as they searched mine for answers.
"If you ask me, I think Alex cares for you too much to let some chick who could potentially last for two weeks ruin your friendship" He offered with a shrug.
"And what if he finds the one? You know, the one who will last forever? He's at that age in his life after all. And don't get me wrong, I don't want my best friend to be lonely forever because of me, but what if she doesn't like me and what if he-"
"Hey" he cut me off by resting a hand on my shoulder. "That won't happen. He'll be sure that you two get along quite well before he continues into something serious" I sighed in thought as he continued. "Want to know what the jackass told me before I came to come get you? " He had an amused glint in his eyes as he spoke.
"What? "
"That if I allowed even a bee to sting you, he would gut me with a spoon and use me as a carpet."
I laughed at that. Alex and his threats were always so grave. What made me feel better was that I knew he meant it.
"The guy cares for you Jamie, to the point where it's quite unsettling. So you don't have to worry about losing him and you can talk to him yourself if you don't wanna take it from me" He ended with a certain confidence in his voice that strangely reassured me.
I nodded and stayed quiet as he pulled out back onto the road. He was right. Alex cares for me as much as I care for him. My elusive fear of being alone made me freak out about him not picking me up for Pete's sake!
His life shouldn't revolve around me, and I should be mature enough to accept that he has to make moves in life. All I have to do is stick by his side and adjust accordingly.
I felt a little more at peace, and I finally relaxed into Cameron's passenger seat as he drove me home quietly. He noticed this too and I saw a small smile tugging at his lips as he drove.
We didn't speak, but it wasn't tense or awkward. I didn't know him well, but I've come to learn that he can be cocky and annoying, but also sweet and mature.
"And for the record Jamie" He started and I c****d my head to give him my attention. He looked deep in thought as his hands gripped the steering wheel, but not in a bad way.
"Alex doesn't have to be the only constant person in your life anymore"
I smiled quietly at what he was insinuating, but I didn't respond.
Yep. He could be really sweet.
- Writer
