Chapter4
1238 Words
Grace POV
"s**t," I breathe.
"Grace?" I heard another knock which was louder this time while Nathaniel was already moving off the bed and looking around wildly for somewhere to hide.
"Just a second Dad!" I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on and did one quick smoothening of the blanket.
I smooth the blanket down.
I managed to kick the remaining clothes to one side when he opened the door.
He stops in the doorway and I watch his nose wrinkled slightly as the unmistakable scent of s*x hits him. His face changes, not with anger but something worse. Disappointment mixed with realization.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was resting." My voice comes out steady and I'm proud of that.
He looks at me, then my messy bed, followed by my bare legs and my face that was still red. He knows. Of course he knows but he doesn't say it instead he sits on the edge of my bed right above where Nathaniel is hiding.
Please don't notice, please don't hear him breathing. I pleaded in my heart as I sat down next to him because standing would be worse like I'm guarding something.
"How was it?" I ask.
"Not bad, I can move my pinky,” and he wriggles his pinky on his affected side.
He then goes quiet for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
And I hold my breath because my heart is trying to break through my ribs.
"Okay."
"What about your job back in the city?" He looks at me. "How are you managing it? Since you are here?"
I hadn't thought about this so I don't have an answer, I just say the first thing that comes to my head.
"Someone's covering for me," "A coworker. We worked it out."
"For how long?"
"For as long as you need me."
He nods slowly while studying my face for something I hope he doesn't find.
"What kind of work was it again?" he asks. "You never said specifically."
"Office work, you know the boring stuff."
The lie comes easily because I've been lying about this for three years.
"And they're fine with you being gone indefinitely?"
"Dad!"
"I'm just trying to understand Grace. You never tell me anything ever since your mother died. You had a whole life there and you just - left it. For me."
The guilt in his voice does something to my chest I'm not prepared for.
"You're my father," I say quietly. "Where else would I be?"
He reaches over and squeezes my hand with his good one.
We sat like that for a moment. Meanwhile, underneath us, Nathaniel is holding his breath.
When my father shifts his weight, I hear the smallest sound from under the bed, I quickly look up at my dad and thankfully, he looks unbothered.
"I should let you rest," he said and stopped just on his way out. My eyes follow him as he struggles to bend down and pick something off the ground.
My eyes grow wide and I almost pray for the ground to swallow me whole.
The black underwear stares back at both of us as he holds them for a moment just looking at them, before his eyes move to me.
"Dad…" I try to keep my gaze
"Grace, what's this?"
"I'm twenty-six for heaven's sake," "I feel things dad.” My emphasis on the word ‘feel’ made him flinch.
His mouth opens but as he sets the underwear on my dresser without a word giving me one last look before he heads out.
I almost feel bad as I sat frozen on the bed listening to his footsteps go down the stairs when Nathaniel slides out from the bed completely naked.
"What time is it?" he asks as he wears his clothes.
I check my phone. "Two forty-five. Why?"
"Fuck." He's pulling on his shirt now. "f**k f**k fuck."
"What?"
"The church council meeting started an hour ago and I'm supposed…" He's buttoning wrong so he has to start over. "I'm supposed to be leading it."
"Ok,so leave."
"I can't leave, your father is literally downstairs."
"Can you jump?" I suggest as we both look at my second-story window.
"I'll pass."
"How about the fire escape?"
He shot me a deadly look, before he sits on my bed and drops his head in his hands.
"How long do council meetings usually run?" I asked.
"An hour. Maybe more if they actually need me there, which they do because I'm supposed to be presenting the quarterly budget."
"Can you call? Maybe say you're sick?"
"I tried that last month when I actually had the flu." He looks up at me. "I'm the priest Grace. I don't get to skip important meetings."
"Well you can't exactly walk downstairs past my father right now."
We sit in silence while I hear sounds coming from the downstairs living room.
"How long does your father usually watch TV?" he asked.
"Could be ten minutes. Could be two hours."
"Grace, be serious for once, this is an emergency."
"I didn't ask you to come here,you did and that's on you."
We sit in silence. Downstairs the TV volume goes up because of some news program my father likes.
"Does he usually watch the whole thing?" he asks quietly.
"Yep."
He then makes a sound like he's dying.
“Serves him right,”I mumble as I check my phone. "You could sneak out in thirty minutes. He'll be absorbed enough by then."
"Thirty minutes." He laughs but there's no humor in it. "I'll be over two hours late."
"Better than getting caught by my father."
He can't argue with that so the silence stretches as he checks his phone again while his leg is bouncing anxiously.
"Stop staring at me," he said without opening his eyes.
"You're the one in my space."
His eyes open and look at me and something passes between us that neither of us acknowledges.
"We can't do this again,"
"I know."
"I mean it Grace."
"So do I."
This was just my body responding, that's all it was. I'm ovulating, that's why I was so responsive and desperate. It doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything.
The lie sits in my chest but I hold onto it anyway.
"Grace…"
I stand up, creating distance between us. "This was a mistake and we both know it."
He stands too and moves toward me. "You don't believe that."
"What I believe doesn't matter." I cross my arms to protect myself the only way I know how. "You need to leave."
Something flashes in his eyes. Good, let him feel something for once.
"You're lying," he says quietly.
"Just go Nathaniel."
But he doesn't move immediately. He looks at me for one more moment, then moves to the door, checks the hallway and looks back.
"This isn't over Grace."
"Yes it is."
He leaves without another word. I hear him on the stairs, followed by the front door opening, and closing.
I lie back, as my eyes were focused on the ceiling.
It was just hormones, it had to be because there was no reasonable explanation as to what happened.
It can't mean anything because if it does, if what I felt in his arms was real,then I'm in so much more trouble than I thought.
And I can't afford that.
- Writer
