9
615 Words
So the song of sorrow has been sung,
And I don't want to feel this numb,
Hold me in my dreams tonight,
So I can live inside the light.
~~~
When I was just a girl, I expected the world but it flew away out of reach so I ran away in my sleep and I dreamed of..
Paradise.
When she was born, I thought I would hate her. I thought that her cries would bring me sleepless nights, the days would be an endless struggle of trying to feed her, calm her, clean her, doing whatever she wanted.
I read the words on my ceiling, listening the tick of the clock and trees rustling outside in my gardens. I am not lost. I am here.
So I remember because I will not forget.
A ticking time bomb. It could have happened now or in ten years, the doctor had told his mum. She had told me, with her eyes that looked like Rev's but his had never been filled with salty tears,
"Did he know?" I asked her, my voice so faint I had to strain it for her to hear,
"Yes. He knew he had a tumour," She whispered. Her eyes are so red, it looks like blood sits beneath them. She hugged me in her arms for awhile before she had to go.
It hurts so bad I fear that this will finally break me. To love once and lose is a crack in the heart. To love twice and lose is a smashing and crashing.
But I remember.
Rev taught me how life was simple. About how growing plants in the garden could breath oxygen into your lungs. How lemon and lavender was truly the loveliest smell a house could echo.
He showed me I was beautiful.
He showed me I was alive.
I will not run backwards because he is no longer with me. I will live because he helped me realize that the worst thing about someone dying is that person left behind. Who can not move in this busy world. But I will move. I will grow strong.
The shrill singing of the phone shouts into the house. I am pulled from my bed, grabbing the phone with a soft sigh. It was past midnight,
"Hello?" I ask with a frown,
"Willow? It's Aunt Ronnie! I'm picking you up in an hour!" Her voice rushed and breathless,
"Why? What's happened?" My gut drops. Not another thing. I can not survive another thing,
"I would have rang sooner but I had to get a flight and there was so much to do!"
"You're coming back?" I gasp, and that smile that has hid for a week slivers on my cheeks,
"Yes! Willow. It's Lilly!"
"What's happened?" I close my eyes, hold my breath,
"She's woke up and the doctors say her mind is fine so far."
Woke up.
Lilly has woke up.
After four months of laying in a coma, of me knowing she was lost just like mum and dad. That I was the only one left. I could not visit her, I could not see her closed eyes and lifeless body. I wouldn't have been able to leave her side if I had.
But she is back.
I am in shock.
Her voice will return to the world. Her eyes. Her music.
It will be hard. She will hurt. But she will be alive and I will help fix her. Just as someone helped fix me.
Because I will never forget the man who fixed me, who showed me that I was alive and how beautiful that was.
I will not forget the soft song of sorrow.
- Writer
