Sky full of stars

Chapter 6

Emily's POV

I have been going out for lunch with Logan every day for a week. He makes me feel lighter, like the pain that has been there for a long time is gone. As soon as I'm without him I feel the heavy burden again. We talk about everything and nothing but I still haven't told him about my family, about mom. He seems to understand me in a way nobody else does. He is just a breath of fresh air. I am going to talk to him about some of the burdens soon.

The girls in school are a lot nicer too. I've got invited to a party on Friday night by them but I don’t know if I am ready for it.

It's Wednesday. I'm in the library, doing some research for a biology project when Logan sits down next to me. I look up in surprise. 

"Hi, beautiful." Logan greets me with a smile. I got so used to him after a week that I don't even mind his presence. People irritate me, make me anxious and jumpy. I feel so comfortable with him. 

"Hey, handsome,” I say with a smile, “you got lost or something?” He chuckles and shakes his head with a grin on his pretty face. “ Then what are you doing here? You usually don't come to the library. By usually I mean never." I smirk at him.  Strangely, he's here, we only meet at lunch and in the mornings, never in the afternoon because he has football practice and I am here studying or I am at home.  

"Just came to see you and…” He starts but hesitates, “I just wanted to ask ifyouwantedtocometothepartywithme?" He says so fast that I don’t catch any of it, as I look at him with raised eyebrows he asks again, “Do you want to come to the party… with me?” He looks so nervous, he doesn’t look up from his hands, it's so cute. I smile at him when he finally looks up at me. He smiles too but I can see the anxiety in his eyes. 

"Well, well, well… if it isn’t the most popular guy at school asking me out on a date?” I say with a chuckle. “I'm not really into partying with lots of people there. Crowds just make my anxiety go highwire." I explain tensely. The girls invited me too and honestly, I haven't considered going… 

"Listen, I hate those parties too, well mostly the people there. You would think that because I am the quarterback I like to humiliate others, gossip etc., but I don’t and you know it. What if I pick you up and anytime you want to leave we can?" He looks so desperate that I almost cave in and agree to go, but something is stopping me. 

"I'm going to think about it okay? I will message you the answer tonight." I promise him because I have no idea what to tell him. I don’t want to give him false hope, besides I don't really have anything to wear to a party.

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow then. Hope you come with me." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. I started furiously blushing. His lips were so soft, they felt better than anything else, usually, I am the one who kisses his cheek. Oh my God, I hope he didn’t see me blushing… 

I couldn’t stop thinking about his proposal, at one point I even picked up my phone from the desk to message him. When I finally start concentrating on studying a gaggle of my friends burst through the door. As soon as they spot me they sit down looking excited. Well, there goes my studying, I think as I put down the book I was reading to look at them with raised eyebrows.

"Hi, what's up girls?" I sigh and look at them expectantly. We talk a lot more nowadays and they became my friends over a short amount of time, I know I can trust them it is hard to get used to being vulnerable.  

"So, we came here to this godawful place to talk to you about the Friday party… " Evie looks around with a disgusted face. Yes, she hates libraries. She looks at me and I know that I'm not going to like this… 

"We thought that we could go to Evie's to get ready and before that watch a movie or something, the boys would come and pick us up afterwards and take us to the party." Amber lays out the program. To be honest I like the idea of getting ready together, seeing Evie’s house too. Maybe Logan will be there…  

"What do you say? Will you please come with us?" They break me out of my thoughts, I look at Layla as pleads with puppy dog eyes and a cute pout on her face. I don’t think anybody can ever resist her. 

"Alright but help me out, guys." They look at me like I suddenly grew three heads. 

"Who did what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?" Sapphire looks like she'll punch something or rather someone. She's the big protector of this group. 

"Logan basically invited me to the party..." I start to say quietly but I can’t finish the sentence because they start to squeal like banshees in the middle of the library. 

"OH MY GOD, FINALLY!!!!" Evie looks like she is about to burst out of her skin. She jumps up and down almost knocking the chair over. 

"What did you tell him? Or you haven’t decided yet?" Cor is always considerate of my decisions and feelings, today is one of those days when she's quietly observing everybody’s, mostly my body language.

"Well, I told him that I'll think about it and that I will message him my answer tonight. Guys what should I do? You know how I hate big crowds, drunk teenagers, basically everything on a party." I finally let my insecurities out with a sight. The girls quiet down when they see that something is bothering me this much.

"Alright, what if we would come back to our house after the party, have a sleepover?" Evie suggests, looking at me with soft eyes. It sounds nice honestly, that they care this much.

"I would like that,” I say but look down at my hands resting on the desk.

“What is bothering you, sweetie? The party is not the only thing that is running through your mind.” Sapphire asks and for the first time, I see her look at me with big soft eyes.

“I guess you all heard the rumours about me basically being an orphan?" I start slowly, quietly, I don't know why but I feel like I need to tell them about mom. Not all of it but at least a small amount of the struggles I'm facing. When they nod I continue the story. 

"She died of cancer last year and now I live with my brothers. That's the reason why I switched schools…”  I say and quiet down but their looks urge me to continue, “I miss her so much and..." my voice breaks and the girls move closer to me, offering silent support without touching me because they know that would set me off.

"...when situations, like this one with Logan, happen I miss her even more you know. What would she say, what would she do and stuff like that…” And after that, I finally breakdown in front of them in the quiet library. All of them hug me and say reassuring words. They know that I need the support, they have my back and don’t pity me which is refreshing.

When I stop sobbing Layla starts talking again, "We are sorry that you're going through that but maybe she would want you to be happy, to enjoy life. You should come to the party with Logan and we can take you home anytime you want okay?" She suggests and I can't help but nod, feeling better now that I cried it all out. 

"Alright, you should go home and relax okay? Take a hot bath, do your skincare routine, read a book or something. We are just a phone call away." Amber is right, I should relax. 

"My brother drove me to school today, can any of you drive me home?" I pray they can because I don't want to take the bus or walk, I am not capable of that today. 

"Of course, I can drive you. Come on Em." Amber stands up, gathers her things and patiently waits for me as I clean up the mess of books and notepads.

"Bye girls. See you tomorrow." They look at me with sad eyes and sympathy as I start walking out of the library. 

Ember’s car is a lot like mine, just white. We are silent throughout the whole drive. It's like she feels that I need a few minutes to collect my thoughts. When she parks the car in our driveway, I get ready to get out but she catches my hand and squeezes. 

"Listen I know that we don't know a lot about each other but you need to know that you're not alone okay? We are here for you, don't close yourself off when you're hurting alright? We’ve got your back." She looks at me with so much sympathy that I almost start crying again but I keep it together.

"Okay. Thanks for the ride Amber and for the understanding. It means a lot to me." I get out of the car and wave at her as she backs up from the driveway. With a sigh, I start walking towards the front door of our house.

When I get inside, Hardin is in his room, listening to music and Chris has a lecture till 8 pm so I silently slip into my room. I have a relaxing bath, do my skincare routine and get into bed with a book. A few hours later I find myself with my sketchbook and a pencil in my hand as I sit on the windowsill. I start to draw my friends and of course Logan too. That’s when I remember that I haven’t texted him yet. As I open the direct messages I see that he is online and I go to message him. 

Emily: I have an answer… 

Logan: Yes?

Emily: Yes, the answer is YES

Logan: See you tomorrow, sweetheart ;)

Maybe that party, sleepover and everything else is not a bad idea after all...