CHAPTER EIGHT
1374 Words
Grace agreed to Edward's plea to remain at Mansfield Manor for before she was relieved from her duties as Georgina and Louis' governess. Both Edward and Benjamin would not let her leave without fully recovering, nor Grace would let her be brought home to her family.
She understood that she was not welcomed anywhere, for the first time since her arrival. It was only now that Edward had a change of heart and showed care for her while she gained her strength back. There, she had allowed herself to grieve the loss of her daughter, and they had even conducted a small ceremony to at least baptize the little girl.
Grace had agreed to bury her remains in the garden, filled with beautiful flowers and statues of angels, where hopefully she will find peace. She thought of it nice of the family to do something such as this, or maybe it was just Edward’s guilt.
But one day, if she ever did come back to Suffolk, then she would surely to return to the grave of the little girl she had given the name – Anabella Josephine Sullivan. An innocent soul. A precious angel.
“Are you sure you can handle yourself?” Jessamine asked the same Tuesday afternoon that Grace and James were bound for London to board a ship back to Boston. “Please stay another week.”
“We will,” Grace said. “In London.”
“Why not here?” Jessamine insisted. “You and James will always be welcome here.”
“I fear that we’ve become too much of a burden, and I don’t have anything to repay your kindness.” Grace replied. “But we shall write often, yes?”
It will not be the same without you.” Jessamine pouted like a child. “In the months that you’ve spent here, I felt as if though I gained the sister that I’ve always dreamt of having.”
“I feel the same way,” Grace could only smile. “But I don’t feel it right to stay here any longer. I’m afraid that Suffolk is just not worth it anymore. We shall live a happier life in Boston, James and I.”
Jessamine thought hard, realizing that Grace truly did belong to Boston. No matter how she wished for Grace to stay in Suffolk, in Mansfield Manor, she will no longer be happy. “I understand,” she began to shed tears. “Just keep in mind that we will always be family – like sisters.”
“We will always be,” Grace hugged Jessamine tightly for what possibly could be the very last time. “Good luck, and have a happy life.”
“You sound like you do not have any intentions of ever returning.” Jessamine cried. “I don’t like your tone.”
Grace laughed, but her voice was filled with sadness. “We’ll see.”
“The carriage is waiting,” Howard interrupted.
“Oh, Howard,” Jessamine sobbed. “I so hate you right now.”
Grace finally let go of Jessamine. “So, I guess this is goodbye?”
“I hope that it is not,” Jessamine said. “Are you not saying goodbye to your family, Grace?”
“I’ve sent them letters,” Grace replied, putting the last few luggage that she decided to bring back to Boston. “Come now, James.”
James seemed sad, looking up at his mother. “Mama, can’t we stay?”
“Unfortunately, we can’t.” Grace told her son. “Have you said goodbye to Georgina and Louis?”
“I have,” James nodded. “I promised to send her letters when I learn how to write properly.”
“That’s good,” Grace patted her son’s head full of dark curly hair. “We shall send Georgina one the moment we arrive in Boston. Let’s go now, James.”
Howard, Jessamine, Georgina and Louis waved their last farewell as Grace and James boarded the carriage. Everyone seemed sad and gloomy.
“Be safe,” Howard said. “Have a good life, Grace.”
“We will,” Grace reassured the family. “Goodbye.”
The small family of four watched Grace and James wave as the carriage slowly drove away. Jessamine nearly fainted, but Howard’s strong and capable hands were quick to catch her before she fell.
Edward watched the small commotion happening on the large window he had in his bedroom. He felt that he had no right to stand and bid Grace a farewell, so he opted to at least see them leave.
He had already picked himself a bottle of his favourite scotch to reflect on through the night. He felt it strange that his heart was already longing for her presence in the house. How could it be when the woman that he’d tried so hard to chase out of his house for the past few months finally left? It was hard to admit, but he was in fact going to miss Grace.
He was suddenly disturbed when he heard a knock. “My Lord?” Edward immediately recognized Mr Parker’s voice echoing through the room.
“Yes?” Edward answered irritably. “What is it?”
“I apologize for the intrusion, Your Grace, but–”
“What is it?” Edward interrupted Mr Parker, he wished he would speak faster.
Mr Parker handed him a sealed envelope. “Lady Grace,” he said slowly. “She left this for you. She asked me to deliver it to you the moment she leaves.”
“You may leave it at the table.”
Mr Parker bowed, leaving the envelope on top of the paper works that scattered Edward’s usually tidy desk. He left quietly afterwards.
Edward sat for hours, staring at the letter. He daren’t touch it, for he fear that he may lose it the moment he does. Will he allow himself to succumb to the letter?
More importantly, will he allow himself to give in to whatever it contained?
“Blast!” Edward cursed, picking the letter up three hours after it had been delivered to him. “That woman!”
Edward was immediately intoxicated with the very familiar scent that Grace oozed. It appears that she had been delicate enough to scent the paper before sealing it inside the envelope neatly.
Dearest Edward,
I know that you will find it odd that I have written you a letter upon my departure. It is the least I can do. After all, I do owe you an apology, as well as the best explanation you deserve.
I ran away again, Edward. Time and time again do I hear your words echoing through the back of my mind that I am weak because I cannot fight for myself, that I am a coward. You are right, I admit it. I am a coward, and I am sorry if I cannot help but be one.
After all these years, I am confessing that I have been selfish. I have been a stupid, stupid girl who allowed herself to fall in love with another when I knew I cannot. I have only thought of myself – my feelings and my emotions, and I have disregarded yours. I knew that you truly loved me, and I could understand as to why you despise me now. I could write all the reasons as to why I left, but that does not matter now. It will no longer change the past.
I am sorry, Edward. I loved you as well, I really did. But I was blinded by my own youth and foolishness. I understand that this will never be enough to ask for your forgiveness, but I hope that it will be enough for closure.
Let this letter be my last farewell to you, Edward. I hope that you find yourself the woman who will truly love you, the woman you deserve.
Grace
- Writer
