Bleeding inside

CHAPTER 1:The Weight of Expectations

Wali trudged through the dusty streets of her neighborhood, her eyes cast down at the worn sandals on her feet. She hated days like this, when the sun beat down relentlessly and the air was thick with the smell of cooking oil and exhaust fumes. But most of all, she hated the feeling of being trapped.

As she approached her family's compound, she could hear the sound of her father, Mallam Audu, lecturing her elder brother, Abba, on the importance of respecting their elders. Wali rolled her eyes, knowing that she'd be next in line for a lecture.

Inside the house, Wali's mother, Hajiya, was busy preparing dinner, her hands moving deftly as she chopped vegetables and stirred pots. Wali knew better than to interrupt her when she was cooking.

"Wali, come help me with the rice," Hajiya called out, not looking up.

Wali sighed and made her way to the kitchen, her mind racing with thoughts of her own dreams and desires, far removed from the traditional expectations of her family and community.

As she worked, Wali's thoughts drifted to her school, J.M.A, and her plans to become a doctor one day. But for now, she was stuck in this world, where family, tradition, and culture seemed to suffocate her at every turn.

As Wali worked on the rice, her mind began to wander to her school, J.M.A, and her plans to become a doctor. She had always been fascinated by the human body and its many mysteries. But whenever she mentioned her dreams to her parents, they would smile and nod, telling her that it was a good idea, but that she should focus on getting married and starting a family first.

Wali felt a surge of frustration at the thought. Why couldn't they understand her? Why did they always have to bring up marriage and children? Couldn't they see that she had bigger aspirations?

Just then, her father, Mallam Audu, entered the kitchen, his face stern as usual. "Wali, I need to speak with you," he said, his voice low and serious.

Wali's heart sank. What had she done now? She followed her father to the living room, her heart racing with anticipation.

"Wali, I've been receiving complaints from your teachers at school," Mallam Audu began. "They say you're not paying attention in class, that you're not respecting your elders."

Wali felt a familiar knot form in her stomach. This was not the first time she had heard these accusations.

Wali's stepmother, Hajiya Hussaina, was always finding fault in everything Wali did. "Wali, why are you so lazy? Can't you see I'm busy with the baby?" she would say, even when Wali was helping with the chores. Or, "Wali, why are you wearing that dress? It's too tight, too revealing."

Wali tried to ignore her, but the constant nagging was wearing her down. She felt like she was walking on eggshells, never knowing when Hajiya Hussaina would blow up at her next.

At school, Wali's anger issues were getting worse. She would snap at her classmates over the smallest things, but one person in particular seemed to bring out the worst in her: a boy named Aliyu. They were always arguing, always fighting, and Wali couldn't understand why. She didn't even dislike him, but somehow, he just pushed her buttons.

Their teachers were always calling them out, always telling them to calm down, but Wali couldn't explain why she was so angry all the time. It wasn't just Hajiya Hussaina's nagging, or her father's constant disapproval. It was everything - the expectations, the traditions, the feeling of being trapped in a life she didn't want.

One day, Wali and Aliyu got into a fight in the schoolyard. He said something about her stepmother, something Wali couldn't even remember, and she just lost it. She shoved him to the ground, and he shoved her back, and before long, they were both suspended from school.

As Wali walked home, she felt a mix of emotions: anger, frustration, but also a deep sadness. Why was she always fighting? Why couldn't she just get along with people?

And when she got home, Hajiya Hussaina was waiting for her, her face stern and disapproving. "Wali, what did I tell you about fighting? You're a girl, for goodness' sake! You should be gentle, not violent."

Wali felt a familiar knot form in her stomach. She knew she couldn't explain, couldn't make Hajiya Hussaina understand. So she just looked down, took the punishment, and wondered when she would ever be free from all this anger and frustration.

Hajiya Hussaina's words cut deep into Wali's soul. She felt like she was a disappointment to everyone - her father, her stepmother, her teachers. She didn't know how to make them happy, how to be the perfect daughter they wanted her to be.

As the days went by, Wali's anger issues only got worse. She would lash out at Aliyu in class, and he would retaliate, and soon they were both in trouble again. Their teachers were at a loss, their classmates were scared of them, and Wali felt like she was losing control.

One day, after a particularly brutal fight, Wali's father, Mallam Audu, was called to the school. He was furious, his face red with anger. "Wali, what is wrong with you?" he thundered. "Why can't you just behave like a normal girl?"

Wali felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. She didn't know how to explain, didn't know how to make him understand. So she just shook her head, feeling defeated.

Mallam Audu's expression softened slightly, but his voice was still firm. "Wali, you need to learn to control your temper. You're a Muslim girl, and Muslim girls are supposed to be gentle and kind. Not violent and aggressive like a boy."

Wali felt a surge of resentment at his words. Why did he always have to bring up her religion? Why did he always have to remind her of her place?

But she knew better than to argue with him. So she just nodded, feeling trapped and helpless.

As they walked home, Hajiya Hussaina was waiting for them, her eyes gleaming with a mixture of anger and triumph. "I told you, Mallam Audu, she's a stubborn girl. She needs discipline."

Wali felt a chill run down her spine. She knew what was coming next. The punishments, the lectures, the constant nagging. She felt like she was living in a nightmare, with no escape.

Chapter 1: The Weight of Exp

Every morning, after the Fajr prayer, Hajiya Hussaina would gather Wali and her siblings in the living room. She would sit them down, her eyes gleaming with a mixture of anger and resentment, and begin to curse Wali's mother and her entire family.

"Your mother was a foolish woman," she would say, her voice dripping with venom. "She didn't know how to keep a man. She divorced your father, and then she had the nerve to think she could move on with her life."

Wali would feel a knot form in her stomach as Hajiya Hussaina spoke. She didn't like hearing her mother talked about like that, but she knew better than to interrupt.

"But I'm not jealous," Hajiya Hussaina would continue, her voice rising. "No, I'm not jealous at all. I'm just telling the truth. Your mother was a failure, and she doesn't deserve any respect."

Wali's siblings would look at her nervously, but Wali would just sit there, her eyes fixed on the floor. She didn't know how to react, didn't know how to defend her mother against Hajiya Hussaina's cruel words.

And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the lecture would be over. Hajiya Hussaina would dismiss them, telling them to go about their day, but Wali would be left feeling unsettled, feeling like she was walking on eggshells, never knowing when Hajiya Hussaina's anger would erupt again.

It was a strange and toxic dynamic, one that Wali couldn't escape, no matter how hard she tried. And it was wearing her down, slowly but surely, eroding her sense of self-worth and leaving her feeling like she was nothing more than a pawn in Hajiya Hussaina's game of revenge.