The Veil

Chapter 3 The Forest

The damp, red-moss-covered ground cools her feet as she walks. Here and there, rough rocks that glitter like gold poke through the surface. Not that long ago she loved her magical forest, but not any longer. Doctor White had pushed deep into the forest and it was no longer a haven. Looking around, she realizes this part of the forest is unfamiliar to her, and she must be further from her cabin than she first thought.

Doctor White’s assistants and Nurse Song hover over the instruments, monitoring the ghost of Amy. Doctor White smiles to himself. Maybe this is not a failed experiment. The data streaming into the medical suite is impressive. Not only are they monitoring the girl’s vital signs, brain waves, and phase location. Recently they began working with a new tracking process that allows them to better judge the phase location. Though still rudimentary, it is proving a useful tool, especially today.  

Doctor White’s voice is as irritating as a lone fly buzzing in her ear. She tries to brush him away.  

Amy, what time does it appear to be? What is around you? Do you see anything you have not seen before? Amelia feels bound to comply with his nagging, like an angel… no devil on her shoulder. Amelia pauses just long enough to enjoy the sweetly scented air that lifts strands of her hair, and the fading red sun that warms her skin as it burns at the edge of the sky. Amelia answers Doctor White. 

It is near sunset. I am in a section of the forest I have not been to in years. I am too far from the cabin to head there, but I hear water, like a river or a stream.  Amelia turns away from the cabin to the sound of running water. During her childhood, the forest was the place she would go and hide. When her life, home, and delusions were too much for her, she spent many nights sleeping in a delusion, soaking away life’s miseries in a stone tub filled with hot floral-scented spring water that did not really exist. Back then, no one could have convinced her it was not real. Pushing aside these memories, she reassures herself that everything is in her head. Today she is here for Doctor White.

Amy has visited AR11 many times. Until today she normally returned to the same few locations, which was within walking distance from a cabin. Today she has taken them to a completely new part of the forest. He always wondered why she only went to certain discreet locations. His main working theory is that she must have a tie to the reality or locations she visits. Though he has never been able to determine what those ties were in the past maybe today will be different. 

Doctor White stands at her side, a specter. She knows if she reaches out and touches him, he will not be there. At first, but if she lets her touch linger, she will be ripped from this world and back into reality. She hears his voice or is it just a memory of his voice reassuring her?

Very good Amy, this is just a delusion, part of your psychosis. To detail these symptoms, I need you to describe to me everything that makes this world impossible.

Amelia’s feet work on autopilot. As she walks, she reaches out to touch the trees, bushes, and flowers. She wonders how her mind can create such things. As she walks, her mind drifts back to the first time she visited this world, with Dr. White. Back then she was unable to talk to Dr. White while she was trapped in her own mind. Even then, she could see him, although he was not able to see her world. Now he can hear her, yet he still cannot see the worlds she creates. It has taken many sessions for her to learn how to communicate with Dr. White through the veil of her imagination. But now, she knew the monologue that pours out of her, burning her throat with every word, is heard in the real world. Just like, she hears his droning speech. 

Amy began describing a place none of them had actually been to but they all knew intimately because of the experiments.  The sky is a brilliant green fading to a fiery red, the light of the sun setting at the edge of the trees. Two moons overhead hang in the air like ready to pluck fruit. The third moon is rising on the horizon in a starless night. The air is thick with the taste of ripe berries, smells of ash and lavender. The forest floor is rocky but covered in a thick layer of red moss, littered with the remnants of purple flowers soft as velvet and the size of my hand. The trees are larger in this part of the forest. It will take eight men at arm’s length to encircle one tree. 

Nurse Song watches the monitors intently, letting her fingers linger where Amelia’s wrist should be. Doctor White, I think she has gone far enough for today.  

Reaching out her hand, she pulls it back, then reaches out again, delighted; she is expecting the tree to be rough, instead, it has silken hair, floating away from the trunks that are like giant stems of a flower. The fur-like bark seemed to float out in greeting. As she walks by, she runs her hand across them, savoring the softness. Looking up into the blue-colored canopy of leaves, she discovers the source of the flowers that dust the forest floor with their purple remnants. 

As she walks deeper into this foreign part of the forest, the sound of the river grows louder with each step, drawing her forward. She has always assumed there was a river, but this is the first time she has even heard it. Quickening her step, she longs to see the water for the first time. 

Doctor White, I am heading towards the sound of water.

Dr. White glares at the woman recently foisted upon him by others. No, we will continue. We cannot pass up an opportunity to explore AR11 further. Maybe there is a reason why she returned to the same place, never visiting other parts of the planet. Today I will find out, and maybe we can get a better phase location. 

Again, the nagging buzz of Dr. White’s voice reaches her ear, and his ghostly presence darkens her mood, every time she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. She walks faster, trying to keep him out of sight. 

Very good, I want you to continue to the river. I want you to focus on every detail and explain to me your delusion, as you walk toward the sound of the river. This will help me to understand this area of your mind. Why have you not brought us here? What are you hiding in this new section of your delusion? Is there a reason behind the location?

Following Doctor White’s instructions, Amelia walks on, stumbling now and again, her bones weary from the excursion across the veil of her imagination. Doctor, if this is a delusion, why does it make me so tired and hurt so much? That is a question she wanted to ask Dr. White but never has. She wonders why?  The sound of the river rushes around her, then she smells wet stone and dirty. Amelia can taste the river before she sees it. 

I found the river, Doctor. The water is crystal clear, it is dancing over rocks of gold, amethyst, and sapphire. Kneeling at the water’s edge, Amelia instinctively cups her hands and fills them with the cool water. Sipping at first, the water is glacier cold, and tastes faintly of minerals. Knowing it is safe, she drinks the rest and reaches for more. Each drink of water makes this world more real, and the white room seems like a delusion. 

The EEG and EKG shriek a warning as the green line darts across the monitor. Doctor, she is tachycardic. Nurse Song looks at Doctor White, praying he will end this now. Nurse Song, increase the IV drip and give her 5 mg of verapamil. She turns to do as instructed. Slowly, Amelia’s heart drops back into what the experimental parameters consider acceptable, even though a heart rate of 180 and bp of 150/90 is anything near acceptable

Like a swarm of buzzing flies, Doctor White’s voice screeches in her ear.  Amy, what are you doing? 

Letting the water drain from her hands. I am just taking a drink of water, Doctor. The water is delicious here. She could hear the annoyance in his voice. 

It is not real water, Amy. You know that.   

Nurse Song looks at all of Amelia’s elevated vital signs and her sluggish responses to Doctor White’s inquiry. Stepping out of the phase bubble, the Song’s skin tingles, Doctor, we have to pull her back. At this rate, she will go into sudden cardiac arrest, and that will be the second time this month. Or worse, she will accept this world as her reality and cut us off.

Looking down at her dripping hands, did she really know that? It all seems so real, now more than ever before. Shaking the water from her hands like a bad dream, Amelia answers Doctor White. 

Doctor White glares at Nurse Song, perturbed by her interruption into his experiment. It is her last statement that makes up his mind. Doctor White steps out of the phase bubble that is created by Amy’s phase shift. As he crossed the line, they drew on the floor months ago after another experiment where they judged just how far the bubble extended, he looks back at the chair where Amy should have been. Even the silver outline of her is gone on this side of the bubble. Fine, that is enough for today. Let’s bring her back. Stepping back into the bubble, he feels it snap around him like a rubber band striking skin.

Yes, Doctor, I know it is not real. Looking down in the water, wanting just one more drink, she spots a small creature. 

Doctor, I have found something…something incredible.    In all her visits to this world, she has never seen any life beyond the magnificent plants that claim this world as their own. Now, looking down into the clear water, a creature swam towards her hand. It is a fish of some sort, with fins like the wings of a butterfly and eyes on top of its head, like white pearls. It blends in with the colorful rocks as it darts away from her moving fingers. 

Glaring at Nurse Song, he realizes that for the experiments to move forward he will need to get rid of her. She has been brought in, recently, to protect the interest and safety of the subject participants, but what is the safety or even life of one of these girls. When you compare it to the advancements in science, they represent. Calling out to Amy; Amy it is time to return to reality. I want you to feel the chair beneath you and feel my hand on yours. It is time to come home.  

Amelia sits down at the water’s edge, letting her feet soak in the cold water. To her astonishment, more of the fish-like creatures flock to her, their wing-like fins propelling them through the water as they snatch small flying insects from the surface. As she watches, one of the fish disappears into the deepest part of the river and then swims toward the surface, breaking free of the water hold; the fish pivots on its fin turned wing, eyes that once faced up from the depth of the water now look down on her from the sky. The fish-bird glides along the surface of the water, scooping up the small insects as it soars. 

Astonishment blooms at the sudden flight of the fish, Amelia’s heart races in surprise and delight. Distracted by her new creation, at first, she does not hear Doctor White’s voice calling to her. 

Amy, it is time to come back to reality. Finally, his voice breaks through. 

Amy, now! The voice whispers into her ear with a greedy insistence. 

Amelia does not want to return to the white world. She wants to stay here with her flying fish, by this river. Looking down the river’s shore, she longs to follow to its end. 

Doctor, are you sure you do not want me to go just a little further down the river? I am fine. This is only a delusion like you said. As the words leave her lips, Amelia is not sure if she even believes the lie she has just spoken. No, it is time for you to come home, Amy.

Doctor White looks at Nurse Song, cursing under his breath. Straddling the edge of the phase bubble; Ok, we are going to have to pull her back. Cut off the pain meds, administer the adrenalin, have the vasopressin ready, just in case.

 No, Amy, it is time to come back to the real world.

As the words hit her ears, pain washes over her body like jumping into a cold lake sucking the air from her lungs, setting them on fire. The ghost of Doctor White beckons at the edge of the veil. She stands and sprints into its fiery embrace, longing to die as she hits the barrier between her worlds. Blinking back pain and tears, Amelia feels the cold chair at her back, the scratchiness of the straps on her wrists and ankles, and hears the beeping of the monitors around her.

Looking up, she sees kind brown eyes looking back at her. 

You are back, Amelia. Everything is okay. 

A sigh escapes Amelia’s lips, the remnants of the unheard screams burn her lungs, bringing her back. Her whole body seemed to collapse in on itself. She feels like a sack of rocks is on her chest, making every breath difficult. Looking into those eyes, she sees past them. Her forest surrounds her like a ghost world; Doctor White and Nurse Song walk through trees and a river they cannot see. 

Yes, I am back, but the forest has followed me here.

Nurse Song glares at Doctor White as everyone checks the monitors that surround them.  Doctor White comes to her side. 

It is fine, Amy. We made good progress today. Give her clozapine and a sedative. Sleep now, Amy. I will make the forest go away. 

Amelia sinks deeper into the chair she is strapped to, trying to will the forest away, or back.  She is not sure which. But her voice broke, please, no more. 

Nurse Song rounds the chair, she approaches Doctor White, lowering her voice, to a near whisper, are you sure you want to give her a sedative? Her heartbeat is irregular, and it could put her into cardiac arrest. We should let her system rest some before we give her anything else.

Doctor White glares at Nurse Song for challenging him once again, after a cursory review of Amy’s vitals. Fine, just the anti-psychotics. 

Doctor White questions his assistants: What are you waiting for? We have to go over the data. So, I can plan Amy’s next treatment.   

Sighing, out of frustration, Nurse Song picks up a vial of sodium thiopental, pulls off 25 mg, and injects it into the IV attached to Amelia’s hand. Fine, Doctor. But I will take this matter up with you after I get Amelia settled in her room. 

Doctor White turns to leave, his assistance buzzing around him, the excitement of the latest discovery thick in the air as they walk out of the medical suit, leaving Amelia to Nurse Song.

Nurse Song disconnects the IV, hoping the last dose of sodium thiopental has not entered Amelia’s bloodstream. Nurse Song knows Amelia needs a break, even if Doctor White will not admit it. Moving slowly as not to startle Amelia, Nurse Song un-straps her wrists and ankles. Then she waits. Slowly, the girl’s eyes fluttered open.

Looking up at Nurse Song, her doe brown eyes and mahogany-colored brown hair give her the appearance of a woodland creature, thin and elegant, she works on Amelia, moving with caution. 

I feel so heavy, and my heart feels like it might break. 

Shaking her head, Nurse Song checks the monitor, placing a hand on Amelia's head. Take deep breaths, breath in this world. What do you smell?

Amelia looks up; I smell chemicals, some kind of astringent cleaner, alcohol from medical wipes, and a musk of sandalwood.

Nurse Song smiles. Good. Can you sit up?

I think so. Pushing up on an elbow, her head swims.

Nurse Song reaches out, stopping her fall. Lean on me, Amelia. I will not let you fall.

Amelia smiles up at Nurse. Thank you.

Call me Xea; I am here to help you; when I can.