In the Blink of a Decade

Sunday Morning Coffee

As I stepped onto the deck I realized that I forgot to bring a towel down to the water with me. I sighed, I guess its going to be a chilly morning drip dry kind of day.

I took a deep breath and headed to the end of the dock to take a seat beside Casey. As I approached he got out of his chair to face me with a towel in his hand “I figured you might want this” he said.

I took the towel from him and said “thanks” as I wrapped it around myself. I was glad I was not going to have to sit in the chilly morning air soaking wet.

“One milk, one sugar right?” Casey said as he handed me a travel mug.

I raised an eyebrow at him wondering how he remembered the way I drink my coffee. I nodded taking the mug from him and sat down in the chair.

I took a sip of the coffee and tried not to moan. It was really good. I make a good cup of coffee, but this one was better. I am a sucker for a good cup of coffee in the morning.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes just drinking coffee and admiring the view. Finally Casey broke the silence “I owe you an apology” he said.

No s**t Sherlock! I thought but remained silent and focused on my coffee.

“When we were younger, you were different and it scared me……I wasn’t ready for you. You made me think about buying houses, having children and growing old. All I wanted to do was plan my next adventure…..so I panicked and started seeing Destiny. The problem was I also wasn’t ready to let you go.”

Destiny…was that her name? Ironic, I thought.

10 Years Ago

I had moved back home after graduating from my post grad and had been spending time with Casey for the past 6 months. We had never labelled what we were doing and I didn’t focus on it. I later realized we were more like Friends with Benefits than actually in a Relationship. Being in a Relationship would have involved a actual date, and he never took me on one.

I had just landed my first real job as a Marketing Assistant and Hallie convinced me that we needed to go out and celebrate.

Hallie was living in Toronto at the time working on her Masters Degree and I took the Go Train into the city to see her.

Hallie and I got dressed up to go out dancing and she took me to a club she liked.

The music was Electronic, which I am not a fan of but it has a dancing beat so I didn’t care.

We skipped getting a drink and went right to the dance floor to have some fun. After about twenty minutes I was getting thirsty and Hallie had been grinding some guy for the past couple songs so I was starting to feel like a third wheel. I signalled to her that I was going to get a drink and headed to the nearest bar.

The bar was crowded and I knew that the only way I was going to get a drink is if I held out a Twenty to get the bartender’s attention. It would be an expensive drink, but I didn’t care, I was celebrating!

As I waited for the bartender to return with some imported beer I would have never ordered if I was in a regular bar that had normal beer I saw a man who looked like Casey across the club sitting in a chair.

Weird, I thought, why would Casey be in Toronto?

As I waited for a drink I saw a tall skinny blonde sit down in the man’s lap.

See, it can’t be Casey if that woman is in his lap I thought.

The bartender brought my beer and I headed to wait in the bathroom line to go pee before heading back out on the dance floor.

I was standing in line for the ladies room drinking my beer when I saw Casey’s friend Max coming out of the men’s bathroom.

I froze mid sip. Was that Casey across the club?

Max didn’t see me and I couldn’t help myself, I had to find out what was going on. I left my place in the bathroom line and started to follow him.

Max went over to where the man was sitting with the blonde in his lap and took he seat next to him.

My feet seemed to move on their own as I got closer to Max and the guy sitting next to him who I now was certain was Casey.

Before I knew it I was standing in front of them, but I couldn’t form words so I just looked at Casey in silence.

“Can I help you? The blonde said.

“Shelly I” Casey started but was cut off by the sound of Max laughing.

“You know her?” The blonde asked.

Casey looked at me and didn’t say anything.

I was still processing what was going on and could not think of what I wanted to say.

The blonde spoke again “I’m sorry who are you?” She asked.

Max stopped laughing and looked at her with a big grin on his face “She’s some girl Casey was boinking, don’t worry, he would never actually date someone who looks like her.”

My mouth dropped open and Casey stayed silent and stared at me with a blank look on his face.

I was humiliated and I didn’t know what to do. I threw the rest of my beer at Casey and turned and bolted before I could see what happened next.

I headed to the dance floor and dragged Hallie out of the club without an explanation.

I haven’t heard from Casey or spoken to him since.

Present Day

Casey seemed to be done talking and we sat in silence for a minute.

Finally he said “Are you going to talk? Conversations usually have two sides.”

I looked at him not sure what I was supposed to say, so in my usual fashion I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head, “you said you owed me an apology and I didn’t actually hear you apologize.”

Casey sighed “apologies really aren’t my strong suit……I’m sorry.”

I was a little irritated, “what is it you are sorry for?”

“For all of it” he said.

“All of it? You mean humiliating me in the club? Letting Max talk about me that way? Seeing someone else and not having the decency to tell me? Never taking me out on a proper date because you were embarrassed to be seen with someone who “looks like me”? Is that what you are sorry for?” I asked my voice starting to rise.

“All of it” he said again. “You deserved better.”

“No f*****g s**t!” I spit out.

We were silent again for another minute. I tried to calm myself down refocusing on my coffee and the lake view in front of me.

“If I could do it all over I would” he said finally.

I sighed “I wouldn’t” I said.

“Really?” He asked.

“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and if I had continued to be strung along by you I would have never met Zack and I wouldn’t have Dalia……..I thought I was going to grow old with Zack, and I may not have gotten as much time as I thought I would, but I’m glad I got what I did.”

“Do you think we have a shot at being friends again?” He asked.

I studied him for a minute thinking I am not ready to forgive him. “I don’t have time for the friends I already have” I said as I got up and headed back up the stairs to the cottage.