In the Blink of a Decade

Wine Hangover

Thanks to the wine, I passed out quickly, but my sleep was restless. Even in sleep I could not stop thinking about Casey Steel.

I can’t remember much of the dreams, but my brain was not doing me any favours. When I woke up to the sun blasting in my room, I could remember bits and pieces of him smiling at me, his possessive kisses and the way he looked at 20 without a shirt on.

Just great.

On top of the memories, I had a pounding headache. I rolled over in bed to see a glass of water, a bottle of Advil and my clothes neatly folded on the bedside table.

Must be Hallie, she really is a goddess that woman.

I took 2 Advil out of the bottle and chugged back the glass of water. I was still thirsty, but not in the mood to move much further.

I closed my eyes willing my headache to dissipate, but I know it’s not likely to magically disappear. So I resolve to lay in bed and enjoy the fact that there is no little person running around the house I need to get up and feed.

My brain was not being my friend this morning. All the dreams about Casey had just pushed me to think about him more….which irritated me.

Fucker, ruining what should be a peaceful morning in bed, sleeping in.

I know I am not being fair, the headache is not helping me relax either, and that was self inflicted.

I decided I have 2 choices. 1, Lie in bed waiting for my headache to disappear and think about Casey. Or 2, do something to distract myself from my pounding head and Casey.

I like option 2 better so I resolve to get my bathing suit out of the dresser and head down to the lake for a swim. The water always calms me down and hopefully the refreshing chill will help my headache.

I get changed and head down to the kitchen with my water glass. I head to the sink and fill it up once and then drink it trying to rehydrate my body. I fill it up again to take down to the lake.

I still don’t know what time it is, but it must be early, the sun is beaming , but it’s still lower in the sky. I head into the living room with my water glass to look at the clock. 6:15AM, great, I can’t even sleep in when I am on vacation.

I turn to head out to the lake just as Casey starts to descend the stairs. He smiles at me and I nod and head out the back door.

I might have been drunk last night, but I do remember promising Fisher to have a conversation with him this week. I just didn’t promise when I would do it and 6:15AM with a wine headache is not when I want that to be.

I head down the stairs to the lake and set my water glass down at end of the dock so that I can reach it from the water.

It’s a chilly morning so there is a small amount of fog on the lake. When I was younger the outdoor temperature would not have given me a second thought about jumping in, but now I am wondering if I should rethink the swimming.

I dip my toe in the water and it doesn’t feel too bad so I decide to jump in. I was right, it was cold, and as it was cold outside, it wasn’t the refreshing kind of cold.

When I resurfaced I decided to tread water until my body got used to the temperature. I swam out about ten feet from the dock and started treading water while I admired the sun rising over the lake.

After a few minutes my body either warmed up from the movement or I got used to the temperature because I was no longer feeling as cold. I decided to swim across the lake again.

I set off towards the other side of the lake relaxing with every stroke. By the time I reached the other side my headache was clearing up. I pulled myself up onto the rock I was laying on last night and closed my eyes to relax.

This was a mistake. Without the mental task of swimming across the lake my mind now had time to wander back to Casey.

16 Years Ago

It was the summer after I graduated from High School and once again I was living and working at the cottage for the summer.

It was mid July and Fisher’s parents were on a European summer holiday, which meant he had the cottage to himself. In Fisher’s mind, that meant PARTY.

Fisher invited some of his friends from home up to the cottage for what promised to be a good night.

I was working at the local variety store and was working until 9:30PM closing up with Hallie. After work we headed to her cottage to get changed for the party.

Generally, I have a no makeup at the cottage rule. Makeup is not practical with a lake. Diving in to have your mascara running down your face is beyond pointless. However, tonight Hallie convinces me to get dressed up and she does my makeup.

I feel overdressed and we both look like we are heading to the club. When I point this out to Hallie she laughs at me and tells me that Fisher’s party is the closest thing we are going to come to a club this summer so we might as well look good.

She’s not wrong. There isn’t a bar in a 30 minute drive from where we are. So why not dress up for the night?

We walk into the party about 10:30PM and are immediately pulled into a beer pong game with Peter and Laura. I haven’t had time to survey who is here yet and say hello, but I am thirsty and we are the last ones here so I figure we have some catching up to do.

As usual, I suck at beer pong, but Hallie doesn’t miss a shot and we still win the game.

I have been so focused on my beer and how bad I keep missing the cups with the ball that I don’t notice Fisher and Casey watching us play and waiting to play the winners.

The boys immediately take the other side and Casey smiles at me “Nice to see you again short stuff” he says.

Short stuff? I think.

“Hey” I say back.

Hallie gets into her competitive mode and says “Prepare to loose again.”

I laugh, because I know the only reason we have a chance in winning is because she is my partner.

The game is close, Hallie hasn’t missed a shot, but I am exceptionally bad and I don’t hit a single cup. I keep getting distracted by Casey, and the smug look on his face says that he knows it.

The look on Casey’s face irritates me. I am bad at beer pong, but not this bad. Get it together I think.

I concentrate like I have never concentrated before and sink my ball in the last cup on their side of the table. Hallie sinks her ball in the same cup sealing the game. “NO REDEMPTION” she shouts giving me a high five.

I give Casey a smile and start setting up for our next opponents as they walk away.

Hallie does not like to loose and after 3 more straight wins I tag in Laura to take my place. I am starting to feel drunk and I have had enough of beer pong.

I make my way around the room stopping to say hi to all the locals, but noting that there are a lot of people here I don’t recognize.

One thing I work hard to ignore is my people claustrophobia. I don’t like being in large crowds where I have trouble moving around in and Fisher’s cottage feels packed. I have trouble walking 5 feet without bumping into another person.

I need air, but I hate heading outside just to get away from the crowd because it makes me feel like a loner so I decide to go outside and smoke a cigar.

I head out on the back deck where there are a couple people I don’t know sitting at the patio table smoking a joint. I nod to them but walk past them wiping stopping to talk. I head to the end of the deck to lean against the railing which overlooks the lake.

I take the pack of cigars out of my pocket and light one up enjoying the light chocolate flavour it has.

I lean against the railing smoking my cigar and staring up at the stars. It is a clear night and the sky is lit up like a Christmas tree.

A voice behind me says “I don’t meet many women who smoke cigars.”

I turn around to see Casey standing behind me smiling.

“I think that means you need to meet more interesting women” I reply.

That was witty I think. Since when am I witty? Must be the beer. Thank-you beer gods!

Casey smiles at me “I was hoping to see you here tonight.”

“Guess it is your lucky day” I say.

“May I?” he asks pointing to my cigar.

I hand it to him and turn back to face the lake and stars.

Casey comes up behind me, leaning his front into my backside, takes my right hand in his and points up into the sky. “See that group of stars that looks like a spoon? That’s the Big Dipper” he says in my ear.

My heart is beating hard and my throat feels dry. I do my best to concentrate on where he is pointing.

I can see where he is pointing and do my best to not seem over eager at his touch. “You really are an astronomy nerd aren’t you?” I say.

“I have been star gazing with my Dad since I was little” he said.

“I have an astronomy class first semester at University this fall, hopefully I can start picking some of these things out for myself” I said.

“I happen to know someone who would be happy to be your tutor” he replied.

I blushed, thankful that I was not facing him so that he could see it.

From behind us we heard a loud bang and I turned around to see what the noise was. Someone had knocked over the beer pong table and there was beer everywhere.

“I better go help clean it up” I said leaving Casey to finish my cigar.

I went into Fisher’s bathroom and got some towels to sop up the mess. As I started cleaning he joined me and we quickly got everything relatively clean.

I took the towels and threw them in the washing machine returning to find Casey and Fisher talking. As I got closer I heard Fisher say “Your new girlfriend is smoking hot.”

Girlfriend. What the f**k!

Casey caught my eye and I gave him a dirty look.

I walked up to Fisher and told him I was calling it night and walked out of the cottage without saying goodbye to anyone else.

Present Day

While I was glad my headache was gone, I was annoyed at myself for thinking about Casey again.

I slid off the rock back into the water and swam back across the lake feeling much better than I had when I woke up.

When I got to the dock I peeked up over the edge to get my glass of water and saw Casey sitting in one of the chairs sipping a cup of coffee.

He smiled at me and pointed to the chair beside him saying “I brought you a cup down too, come sit with me.”

I slipped back over the edge of the dock with my water glass debating my next move.

The smell of the coffee was winning me over and I decided that there was no time like the present to get that chat I promised Fisher over with so I swam to the latter and climbed out of the lake.