Chapter 4
1133 Words
I barely slept that night.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Kai’s face—first the shock when the bond hit, then the cold mask as he rejected me, and finally that raw conflict in the moonlight when he admitted his wolf was fighting him.
By morning, the rejection pain had dulled to a constant ache, like a bruise deep in my bones. I lay in my narrow bed, staring at the cracked ceiling of my childhood bedroom, one hand resting on my stomach.
Still flat. No sign yet. But the nausea that woke me at dawn, the tenderness in my breasts, the missed cycle—they all pointed to one thing.
I was pregnant.
With the Alpha’s pup.
A pup he could never know about. Not after last night. Not when he’d chosen the pack—chosen Victoria—over the mate the Goddess gave him.
I dragged myself out of bed, splashed cold water on my face, and pulled on an oversized hoodie. The mating ball aftermath breakfast was mandatory for all unmated wolves. Tradition said we had to show our faces, prove we could handle whatever the Goddess gave or took away.
I wasn’t sure I could.
But I wouldn’t hide. Not today.
Lila met me at the door, eyes red like she’d cried half the night too. “You don’t have to go,” she said quietly. “No one would blame you.”
“I know.” I forced a small smile. “But if I don’t show up, it’s like admitting he broke me.”
She hugged me tight. “He didn’t. You’re stronger than all of them.”
We walked to the pack house together. The morning air was crisp, carrying the scent of dew on pine needles. Wolves milled around the front lawn, some nursing hangovers, others already training in the fields beyond. A few glanced our way—some with pity, some with curiosity, a couple with outright smirks.
I kept my chin high.
Inside the dining hall, long tables groaned under platters of bacon, eggs, fresh bread, and fruit. The smell should have made me hungry, but my stomach churned.
And then I saw him.
Kai sat at the head table, flanked by his Beta Damon and Gamma Ryder. Victoria was there too, of course, perched close enough that her shoulder brushed his. She laughed at something Ryder said, tossing her hair, but her eyes flicked to me the second I entered.
Kai’s gaze followed a heartbeat later.
He looked awful.
Dark circles shadowed his eyes, his hair disheveled like he’d run his hands through it all night. His shirt was wrinkled—unheard of for him. When our eyes met, the ache in my chest flared sharply, and I saw him grip the edge of the table, knuckles white.
His wolf was punishing him.
Good.
I turned away quickly, grabbing a plate and piling on food I knew I wouldn’t eat. Lila guided me to a table near the back with a few other omegas and lower warriors. Safe. Invisible.
But I couldn’t relax.
Every few minutes, I felt his stare like a physical touch. Burning into my skin. My wolf—or whatever dormant thing lived inside me—whined to go to him. To fix this. To let him fix it.
I shoveled eggs around my plate, pretending to eat.
Halfway through the meal, Elder Marcus stood and cleared his throat. The room quieted.
“Last night, the Moon Goddess revealed several new mate bonds,” he said, voice booming. “We congratulate those pairs. For those who remain unmated, trust in her plan.”
His gaze lingered on me for a moment—sympathy? Judgment? I couldn’t tell.
Then he continued, “And for the rejected… the Goddess sometimes tests us. Strength is shown in acceptance.”
A few murmurs of agreement.
My fork clattered against my plate.
Acceptance.
That’s what they expected. That I’d just accept being publicly humiliated and discarded because I wasn’t “strong enough.”
I pushed my chair back and stood.
Every head turned.
Lila’s eyes widened. “Evie—”
But I was already moving.
Not toward the exit.
Toward the head table.
My heart thundered so loud I was sure the entire room could hear it. The rejection pain spiked with every step closer to Kai, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
I needed answers. Not the excuses he’d given last night. Real ones.
I stopped in front of him.
The hall went dead silent.
Victoria’s smile faltered. Damon and Ryder exchanged glances. Kai stared up at me, gray eyes stormy, jaw tight.
“Evelyn,” he said, voice low and rough. A warning. Or a plea.
I ignored it.
“You said I’m weak,” I began, my voice shaking but loud enough for nearby tables to hear. “That the pack needs a strong Luna. Fine. I accept that I’m not what you want.”
His eyes flashed. “Evelyn—”
“But tell me this, Alpha.” I leaned forward, hands braced on the table. “When your wolf is ripping you apart from the inside, when you can’t sleep because her scent haunts you, when every breath feels wrong without her—will you still think rejecting your fated mate was strength?”
Victoria gasped. Someone at a nearby table whispered, “She’s challenging him…”
Kai stood slowly, towering over me, but I didn’t back down.
His voice was barely above a whisper, meant only for me. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I know exactly what I’m asking.” Tears threatened, but I blinked them back. “I’m asking if you’re going to spend the rest of your life lying to yourself. Because the Goddess doesn’t make mistakes.”
For one heartbeat, the mask cracked completely.
I saw it all—regret, longing, torment. His hand twitched like he wanted to reach for me.
Then Victoria laid a possessive hand on his arm.
“Kai,” she said sweetly, “she’s causing a scene.”
The spell broke.
His face hardened again. He sat back down without a word.
Dismissed.
Again.
The pain hit so hard I nearly doubled over.
I turned blindly, walking out of the dining hall on legs that felt like jelly. I didn’t stop until I was outside, gulping fresh air, tears finally spilling over.
Lila caught up to me near the tree line.
“You were incredible,” she whispered, pulling me into her arms.
But as I cried into her shoulder, one terrifying thought looped in my mind.
If confronting him hurt this much… how was I going to survive leaving him forever?
And how was I going to raise his child alone?
- Writer
