Crazy Family Stories

My "Perfect" Life

Hi, my name is Amy and this is my crazy story of how I became my parents' rich favorite child after just being a stupid teenager.

"You i***t!" my mom yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"

Before I could respond, a voice behind me said, "Of course not." I turned around to see Mr. Mason laughing at me. "You know, not everyone can be as amazing as you, Nurse Janet."

My mom giggled like a silly school girl and asked him why he was here. Mr. Mason looked at her and said, "I have a heartache." He never stopped flirting with mom.

Before they could continue with their gross conversation, I said angrily, "Leave, now." Mom yelled at me to mind my own business, then she left with him.

At home I found my brother Ben passed out on the couch. He started to wake up as I came in. As soon as he saw me he shouted, "Make me a sandwich, loser. Make yourself useful."

Suddenly I heard mom yelling her head off. I rushed out to find her screaming and throwing things at dad. "You cheater, how dare you bring her into my house!"

I saw someone else in the room. The girl whose name turned out to be Anna walked over to my mom and said, "How could any man put up with you when you scream like that?" Then right in front of mom, she started hugging dad. "You alright sweetie?" she asked.

Mom was furious. She ran to her room and five minutes later she was already in a cab with all her suitcases. As she walked out she said, "That's it, I'm done with you and your kids. I'm going to live with Mason from now on."

The very same day, dad's girlfriend moved in. She started taking over everything and forced me to do all the chores. She said she was training me to become a proper lady.

To make matters worse, with mom gone, there was no one earning anything. Dad didn't want to work, of course. So dad said I had to take over mom's nurse job at school.

I said, "I'm not a certified nurse, dad." But he didn't want to listen and threatened to kick me out.

For a few weeks I managed to avoid any major events. If anyone came looking for mom, I'd help them and say mom had just stepped out.

One day after school, I was in the office when suddenly Paul rushed in. Paul was a senior and also my biggest ever crush. He had a huge cut on his leg. He was crying. He yelled "Burns!" then he fainted. When he woke up though, he took my hand and said, "You're pretty cool for a junior."

I was going to be a nurse for the whole year if Paul thought it was cool, but of course the principal found out soon enough. He was furious and demanded to know why I had been lying to everyone. He even called my dad who pretended he had no idea what I was up to and encouraged my principal to suspend me. Luckily I begged my way out of it.

When I got home and confronted dad, he said, "Time off from school would be a good idea. There's lots of cleaning and chores at home to do."

The next day I went to school and found the nurse's office open. Was mom back? I rushed inside, only to be sorely disappointed. There was a new nurse. Her name tag read Susan, but she looked really young, barely a few years older than me. She also wore a very tight uniform. A huge line of guys was already forming outside her office.

"Amy?" I asked her how she knew me and she took out something from her bag. I gasped when I saw what it was. My diary. I must have forgotten it here.

Then she turned to the boys who were all making up fake diseases to get her attention. She batted her eyes and said, "Will you all please leave us alone." Immediately they disappeared.

Susan turned to me and grinned like a maniac. She said I had to come here to work with her every day. She giggled and said, "Ugh, I'm just here for the money. I hate this job, I hate everything."

I knew she looked too young to be a nurse. I refused to help her, but she said if I didn't, she would show everyone my diary and tell everyone how sickeningly obsessed I was with Paul.

Just then Paul came in. Of course he'd heard about the new attractive nurse. She told me to get out of the office and she started flirting with him.

The next few weeks were horrible. Susan didn't know anything. If anyone came in, she would just tell me to deal with it or google the symptoms. I was so scared she would accidentally kill someone.

This one time, Mr. Davis came in to get an aspirin. Susan just said, "Oh, I've got the worst headache, is it okay if Amy helps you out?" and then she accidentally tripped in front of him. He ended up giving her a foot massage.

Worst of all, the one person who was always in the office now was Paul. He had completely forgotten I existed.

One day she looked at me and said, "How come you're never invited to any of Paul's parties? They're so cool." My jaw dropped. I looked at him in shock. He was inviting the school nurse to parties? Was that even legal?

At the end of the day I went home so pissed and to my surprise Susan was there, chatting away with everybody. She was flirting shamelessly with my brother. I rushed in and demanded to know why she was there and my dad said she was Anna's sister.

I was shocked. Susan started laughing and said, "Your dad was the one who told me about the job. I was just having some fun with you." I was furious and I started yelling at her to get out of my house, but of course dad started yelling at me and said if I didn't behave he'd kick me out.

The next day I got to school and was immediately called into the principal's office. He started saying that I had really crossed a line. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Your stupid games may have ruined his life forever."

Susan suddenly ran into the room crying and said she was so sorry that she had trusted me. I had no idea what she was talking about.

She said angrily, "Oh, so you don't know what you've done to poor Paul?" I gasped.

"Paul?" He said the nurse told him that I was so mad at Paul because he didn't like me, that I had switched his aspirin with some different and way stronger medicine. Now he couldn't move one of his legs.

"You did this, you witch! You hurt my Paul!" as I was shouting, Paul rolled in. He was in a wheelchair. I rushed over to him and he yelled at me to stay away.

"I hate you, I never want to see you again."

I was heartbroken. I rushed out and ran home. At home I found dad's girlfriend on the phone. She saw me come in and started laughing like a hyena. Clearly her sister had told her what she'd done.

That was it. I went to my room, packed my bags, and left. Outside I took the first bus going out of town. I got off the end of the line and looked for a homeless shelter. With time, I got a job and enrolled in a local high school. Life was okay for a while, but I was always really busy and short of money.

One day as I was leaving my job, a guy came up to me. He introduced himself as Martin and he said he wanted to offer me a job. "I'll pay you a lot," he promised. I asked him what he had in mind and he told me that he had an uncle who had been caught in a gold diggers trap. He said, "She's after his money. She forced him to run away with her and she won't let him spend a penny on himself or anyone else."

I agreed to the job and he said all I had to do was help him expose her. I asked him to take me to them. He was psyched. He took me to his uncle's place. I had agreed that I would tell his uncle that I was her daughter and that she had abandoned me.

As soon as I saw his uncle though, I almost passed out. It was Mr. Mason. Just then my mom walked out too. I couldn't believe my eyes. They were fighting. My mom was saying to him, "I would never cheat on you."

They stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw me. "You!" he yelled at me. Mom started screaming at me too. She wanted to know why I was stalking her.

"His nephew thinks you're a gold digger and wants you two to break up," I said.

Mason screamed at her, "So you're a gold digger and a cheater? I can't believe I ever loved you." Within ten minutes he had kicked us both out. Martin hugged me.

"Thank you so much," he said, handing me an envelope full of money. Mom started yelling at me for trying to ruin her happiness. Martin looked at me in shock. He asked if I really was her daughter. I nodded yes. He snatched back the envelope and said, "Like mother like daughter, gold diggers." After that, he walked away.

Mom was still angry and she wouldn't listen to me, so I decided to leave, but she said, "Since you're the reason I'm homeless, I'm coming with you." She followed me to my shelter and was a real pain the whole time. As soon as we got there, she dumped her bags onto a girl standing near the door.

"Take these to my room," she said. The girl threw mom's stuff on the ground and walked away.

Then my mom saw Mr. Dawson, the kind manager, and immediately tried flirting with him. His wife jumped out from behind him and glared at mom. Mom took one look at her and stepped away, but the next day she put on a red dress, went over to him, and asked, "Do you need any help? I'm a qualified nurse, yes, your daughter was a very good nurse too."

Mom laughed and said, "Her? She doesn't know anything." Everyone around us looked angry. They all liked me here and thought mom was annoying.

I dragged mom away and told her they'll kick you out if you don't behave, but mom wasn't willing to back off. She decided to follow me to work and told my manager that she was a much better server than I could ever be. I'd had enough. I yelled at her in the middle of the crowded restaurant and told her to get out. I had to ask security to take her outside.

I went back to the shelter hoping she'd gone away, but I was in for a shock. At the shelter, there was someone else waiting for me with mom. Dad. This was the last thing I needed. I started yelling at him and demanded to know why he was there. More importantly, "Why are you holding mom's hand?"

Mom just sat there blushing like a teen. "Anna ran off with my money," he said. He wanted us to come back and live with him. I burst out laughing and told him he deserved it, but mom was suddenly ready to forgive him. I told him to do whatever they wanted, but that I was done. The two left the shelter and moved back home.

At first they would call me every day to ask for money and when I refused they sent me a gift. One day I returned to find my room completely trashed. My roommate was inside crying. I was horrified and asked her what had happened. She angrily looked at me and said, "Why do you keep bringing your crazy family here?" The door flew open and my brother barged in. He demanded that I give him money and said, "I've got a kid now, I gotta feed him too. Give me money or else."

I was furious. I kicked him out and said if he ever came back I'd call the cops. Then I decided to move away. I applied to a college far away from my parents' town. I thought the drama was finally over, but I was so wrong.

On the very first day of medical school, I saw someone else I'd hoped never to see again. Paul. As soon as he saw me he jumped up and started waving at me. He came up to me and said, "Amy, I'm so sorry, all these years I've been looking for you."

He explained that a few weeks after I had left, he had found Susan making out with some guy. When he confronted her, she said there was no way she was dating a guy with a bad leg. She also said she'd only pretended to like me because you liked me.

I told Paul it was okay and I was over it, but he held my hand and said, "But I'm not over it. I love you."

I couldn't believe Paul wanted to be with me. We started dating and after a few months everything was perfect, until one day Paul stopped talking to me out of the blue.

At first I couldn't understand why he was acting this way, but then one evening I saw him at a college party with another girl, but the real shock was when I saw who it was. The nightmare nurse.

I was furious. I rushed up to him and before he could say anything Susan cut in, "Get away from him, he's my fiance." Then she said something even worse, "We have a child."

I was shocked. Paul reached for me, but I pushed him away. As I ran away, Susan called after me and said, "We're getting married next week, come see the wedding."

On the day of the wedding, I got a call from my brother. I hung up the first time, but he kept calling and said, "I can't find my son." He said his fiancee had disappeared with their son. I asked him who it was, although I had a pretty good feeling I knew the answer.

I had to stop Paul at the church. The crowd had gathered and the girl was walking down the aisle. As the ceremony started, my brother burst through the door screaming, "That's my son!"

Susan gasped and tried to hurry through the vows, but it was too late. Paul pulled back and well, long story short, they didn't get married. In fact, my brother grabbed his son and told her never to talk to them again.

Paul ran to me and said he was sorry. And guess what? My parents finally realized I was the only normal one and I became their rich favorite child.