The Way Life Goes

Secrets

Tyler paced the length of the living room nervously and scrubbed a hand over his mouth. The guilt over what he did or better yet what they did wouldn’t fade from his mind. It was there when he woke up and when he went to sleep. It had been awkward and confusing when they woke up together in the car much soberer and dressed. Olivia had looked pale and shifty as she stood there staring at him before he drove her home.

He left her at her house and drove away, not looking back once in fear of what he might see. It was a mistake. There was no doubt about that and a mistake they had to learn from, move on from, and never mention again. He knew without a doubt he would be fired, arrested, and most probably go on a register or sent to prison. Olivia was underage and he had taken her virginity in a drunken encounter in the back of his car. It left a sickening feeling in his stomach every time he thought about it.

He had wanted it and every argument in his head had gone out the window when she was there. It was now Sunday evening and he was worried sick. He had her first morning in English but he knew he couldn’t run away from it.

Jeremy walked in on that moment with food for the both of them and frowned at Tyler pacing the length of the room.

“You okay there buddy?”

“Fine,” he replied, sitting down and closing his eyes.

“Okay, well I have food and drink.”

“I’m fine,” he muttered while holding the vodka bottle up.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? You have work tomorrow,” Jeremy said slowly raising an eyebrow at him. “You’ve been acting weird again.”

“Well, maybe that’s just how I am now,” he said, meeting his eyes with a nod and a deep sigh. “Maybe I’m acting weird because it’s the new me. I’m not the same man I was in New York. I’ve changed.”

“Not for the worst,” he muttered sitting down next to him.

“No, you don’t understand, Jeremy, I-I’ve become something that everyone hates. I’ve done something that people like me would hate. I’m the worst excuse of a man.” he said clenching his jaw tight.

His friend stared at him in wonder and grabbed the food passing it into his hands. “Eat, you’re scaring me and I think you’re a little too drunk for comfort. You’re not a changed man, you’re just quieter, weirder, and I think you need a time out.”

Tyler huffed amused and went to his room. He dropped on the bed, closed his eyes, and sighed deeply wondering what tomorrow would bring.

***

It was the worst feeling walking into that classroom the next day and spotting the left whiskey bottle on the floor. His heart dropped as he picked it up and quickly hid it in his drawer panicking. Tyler sat down at his desk staring at the clock and wondered if Olivia would even come in today. The hand inched towards the number eleven and the lump in his throat appeared.

The bell eventually rang and he jumped a little standing up and started to prepare for the lesson, bringing out all the necessary papers. The students filed in, talking loudly as they sat down and his heart constricted when Noah walked in followed by Olivia. His eyes went to the front of the class and he breathed out collecting himself. He had a class to teach, he just wouldn’t look at her, and everything would be fine.

His first mistake though was looking over to see her looking down and doodling on a page. She looked pale and small in the navy blue oversized jumper she was wearing. His stomach flipped just for a moment before continuing the lesson and pretending it didn’t happen.

The next bell an hour later was the best sound in the world as he sat down and caught her eye for the first time throughout the whole lesson. Olivia lingered behind and he bit into the side of his cheek when she walked over to the desk.

“How are you?” he said softly.

“I’m fine, what about you?”

“Same.” He replied, clearing his throat. “Look we can’t talk about this now so come by at lunchtime and we’ll talk then.”

She blinked and nodded quickly, opening her mouth to say something but thinking better of it as she quickly left the classroom.

Tyler watched her leave with a hard swallow and covered his face with his hands instead of despairing over the impending conversation.

Meanwhile, Olivia leaned against the wall of the bathroom breathing in and out shakily. It hadn’t been the best weekend in the world when she had to deal with the fact her virginity was gone and the realization she was stupidly in love with her English Literature teacher. She could remember most of the encounter in the car and even though she ached afterward and Tyler looked like he was about to be sick, despite it all, it was the best experience she ever had.

The images wouldn’t stop going around and around her head over and over again. The way he kissed her, held her, and of course, the s*x was the extra bonus. The alcohol hadn’t been the best way to do it but what’s done was done and nothing could change it. The only thing she was dreading was Tyler telling her it was a mistake and could never happen again.

It wasn’t something she wanted to hear from him even though anything between them would be illegal and he could be arrested. She looked down at her phone to see she was already fifteen minutes late and decided to skip the lesson. She threw down the lid of the toilet and sat down with a sigh.

“Politics,” she muttered, grabbing her phone and opening a game to play on to pass the time away.

***

It was when the second bell rang that her phone rang and she frowned while answering it.

“Noah?”

“Where the hell are you? Why didn’t you come into chemistry?”

“Toilets, I was in no mood for that class and Green’s bullshit experiments,” she explained, exiting then and walking down the corridor. “I’ll meet you in the cafeteria.”

She hung up, pocketed it, and headed there. Noah looked at his phone with a sigh and waited patiently for her to arrive, shooting her a pointed look when she smiled at him.

“You’re going to get detention.”

“So?”

“Olivia, you don’t get detention. What’s with you today? You’ve been acting strange all weekend and we hardly spoke.”

“Do we need to speak twenty-four seven? You have no right to talk when you ignore me for days for your girlfriend. I’m not objecting to that of course because she’s your girlfriend and no, I am not mad at you for missing my birthday. I had a good birthday. I… ate bad food and went to sleep watching Netflix.” she said, stealing his bag of chips and eating them instead.

“I’m still sorry about that.”

“You can make up for it next year when we travel the world. Do you think we can convince the others to come with me?”

“Go where?” Adam said, and she smirked at him happily.

“I want to go around the world starting on my eighteenth birthday, do you fancy coming?”

“Why not?” he said without care and left as soon as Samantha arrived, and Noah rolled his eyes shaking his head.

Angela and Samantha joined them and it was Samantha who looked pissed off and huffed sitting down on a spare seat. “Adam and I had an argument.”

“Is that news to us?” Angela commented and looked away sheepishly when she glared at her and folded her arms over her chest.

“He’s being a dickhead.”

“Now that’s not news...” Olivia murmured and hid her face in Noah’s shoulder when Samantha turned the full force of her glare on her.

“I’ll talk to him,” Noah said, pushing her away gently so she chuckled and nabbed Angela’s drink despite her protests.

“What’s yours is mine,” Olivia argued when Angela fought her for it and she won with a laugh of triumph. “You see, this is why you always lose.”

“You’re not funny and you owe me three dollars now.”

“Fine, whatever, I’ll pay you back later,” Olivia murmured taking a big gulp and handing it back. “You’re temperamental, are you on your period?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Rude,” she muttered pointing a finger at her. Olivia then sat down, rolling the bottle in between her hands debating whether or not to tell them what really happened on her birthday. Her eyes roamed over all of them. She hated keeping secrets from them but maybe this secret was worthwhile to keep for now.