Troubled Waters, Idled Minds

Chapter 14: Harry

That beautiful face that had been haunting my dreams day and night, whether she was with me or not, gazed at me so deeply and full of emotions. The urge to run to her and claim her mouth with mine was so strong I felt my fists clench in an attempt to restrain myself.

“Thank you, Harry.”

I don’t know what to say.

I knew what I wanted to do, though. I wanted to wrap her tiny body in my arms and smother her with kisses. Confess my love for her in its most honest and raw form, what I had felt since the moment I laid eyes on her. I wanted to take her far away and keep her for myself. All I wanted was to love her.

We both stared at each other for a few heartbeats, Callie looking away first with a hint of embarrassment on her soft cheeks.

God, I love this girl.

She deserved the whole world. She deserved someone better than a sick f**k like me, hiding behind his reputation and good grades and good friends. The dirty things in my mind would shock everyone to death if they were exposed. The naughty things I dreamt of doing to my underage cousin were a sure way of getting me a ticket to hell.

The moment I denied it, I made the mistake of pushing her away.

I was stupid not to wait and give in to my physical needs.

What made me think that I could just forget about her when I f****d other girls?

The look on her face that night when she… God. There was no going back from there. I knew right then that I should finally let her go. Let this evil lusting die along with her affection for me.

Even though I knew of her crush on me, I couldn’t just very well take advantage of her innocence. What I feel for her was stronger than what she does for me, a lot darker, a lot dirtier.

It would ruin her.

I would ruin her.

And she was too precious, too important to me for me to allow that to happen.

Many times, I had been determined to turn off my feelings. The last straw was when she caught me in bed with a girl.

I hated that I couldn’t explain myself to her, that when all I wanted to do was assure her, I just couldn’t bring myself to say my defense.

I needed her far away from me.

The devil knows what I’ll do if my string finally snaps and I jump her bones.

I really thought I’d be able to do it, walk away.

Again, stupid of me to think it would be that easy.

One call from her, one cry, a single tear, and I had no choice but to crawl back to her waiting arms. In her embrace where it always feels like home.

Seeing her hurt with blood on her head solidified my resolve.

I’m never going to leave my girl ever again.

I’m already knee deep in the pits of hell, what’s the point of

I strode back to the bed and started putting the rest of the packages back in the bag.

“What are you doing?”

“Throwing the garbage in the garbage.”

I don’t like how someone just sent Callie these. Nobody knew which hospital she was taken to, except the school administration through the nurse who went with us. After a short while, I had convinced him he could leave us alone, I’m basically an adult after all, and could take care of my cousin. He said he’d leave the room which made me think he might still be around the hospital and we just haven’t seen him yet. Maybe he’d come back in later. Not that I mind. I’d like to have my girl all to myself. I wouldn’t have had the chance to relish her soft lips otherwise.

Also, I’d already made the necessary calls that I’m sure Callie would be against. Good thing she didn’t bring it up just yet.

“Hang on,” she stopped me by grabbing on my upper arm, her forehead creased as she realized something.

Shit, I spoke too soon.

“Did you tell - ?”

“No.”

It was too quick of a reply. I knew I’d given myself too quickly.

“Well, yes,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my head. Callie looked mortified.

I put my hands out in defense. “I didn’t tell them about the stitches,” I amended, sitting beside her. “I told them that you bumped your head pretty badly and might have a concussion that’s why you needed to be taken to the hospital.”

It was the truth. The doctor did say that she might have a concussion.

I was watching her reaction as it softened a little and I hate that I was about to bring the frown back in her beautiful face.

“Before they could ask for details, I assured them I could take care of you,” I continued. I’d been taking care of this girl my whole life and have never failed, not until recently. I feel so disappointed with myself. “They were relieved but said that they would be back tonight.”

It’s not like the school wouldn’t inform them either so I just managed a little bit of a white lie. Well, omission of the truth.

Callie groaned frustratingly.

“How am I going to explain this to them?” She pointed at her head. I grimaced at the sight. I should’ve waited for her like I used to and walked her to her next class. I should have known that just talking rationally with Kim wouldn’t make her back off.

Now my girl was hurt and it was all my fault.

I’d have to come clean and confess that it was because of me that she’d been harassed by a group of seniors for over a year, something she begged me not to make a big deal out of when all I wanted to do was have them expelled so they wouldn’t bother her anymore.

“I don’t want them to know,” she said quietly.

My girl was so strong that she stood up to the bullies for a long time before someone gave her support and protection. She doesn’t share her problems and always chooses to fight her own battles. She’d stand her ground and pull out her claws to hit back, she was never one to allow herself to be bullied, but she was still too fragile, too weak, to actually win.

If I didn’t see it with my own two eyes, she’d just deny the rumors of her being bullied by a girl I used to date and her minions who were always trying to find ways to get close to me.

I never get that. If those girls were friends with someone I used to be with, why would they want to hook up with me, too? I’m so not into it and I find it weird and uncomfortable. I’d never date someone one of my buddies had been with.

The doctor came in and after a thorough check up, suggested that Callie stay overnight for further observation, a news the little girl opposed violently.

Dr. Brennan guffawed at the look on her face and I couldn't help the wide smile that stretched my face, too.

“It was only what I recommended, child. If your guardian,” he shot me a glance, “could take care of you and watch you overnight at home, then that’s fine, too. We just wanted to observe whether you have a concussion.”

He turned to me, saying in a stern voice, “So any signs of extreme headache, nausea, dizziness, loss of balance, or even if she vomited or had problems with her memory, she needed to be taken to the hospital, stat.”

The nurse from our school entered then, and Callie and I both froze at who followed him closely behind.

Callie was the first one to bravely break the silence.

“Hey, mom. Hey, dad.”