Four
1965 Words
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Copyright © 2021 Cassey9
Third Person
Karey lies down sandwiched between Killan and Nillan. The storybook in hand drawing to an end. Her eyes flicker to her sons and she sighs appreciatively at their drowsy state. Her day had been long and draining and now sleep beckoned her like moth to a flame, “And that’s why the fish lives in water,” she whispers softly the final sentence of the children’s book.
Killan and Nillan still enjoyed stories before bedtime and Karey loved reading to them. The shelf hanging on the wall across the bedroom stacked full with all their books with each week gaining a new addition. Karey smiles as Killan snuggles to her body burying his head on her chest, his yawns draws out. He was starting to doze off. Something expected from all the energy he’d spend running and jumping around the play area downstairs.
Karey turns to Nillan who is still wide awake staring at her, “What is it sweetie,” she asks rubbing his face tenderly. His eyes close but immediately open to reveal his breathtaking blue eyes. Despite their beauty, sadness swirled within them. She’d noticed the changed since there return home.
“Mommy, are…are we going to live with Daddy?” he asks and the question knocks Karey off her axis.
“No.”
The sharpness in her answer is as clear as the rejection it carries. “Well daddy said we will,” Nillan continues speaking. The gloom in his voice evident, “Daddy also said that you were getting together and we…we would be a fam...”
Nillan hesitates at the last word, a tear running down his cheek. Karey’s anger boils over but she manages to hold it at bay. Her sons had been through a lot in the past years. Lawrence being a major cause. He’d been adamant and continued to be, apparently. Using every means possible to get his way up to the point of filling their sons’ head with lies. Lies of possibilities that would never come true. Despite the suffering, something good came, and it had been their growth and the understanding it brought along.
“Hey…it’s okay. Don’t cry,” Karey calms Nillan rubbing the wetness from his cheeks, “Nillan, do you…do you want to live with your daddy?”
As heavy and as painful as the question was she had to know. Knowing about her children’s stance mattered the most. She’d sacrifice and go back to him for their sake.
“No mommy. I want to stay with you,” Nillan answers after a while, “I want to always stay with you mommy and Killan and uncle Kane and…and I want to say with Rain too. When will she come back?”
Nillan’s statement offers great relief but also digs up her buried ache, “I don’t know sweetie. But I know we’ll be with her one day…someday,” in another life Karey wants to add but holds back.
“Does Rain miss us mommy?” Nillan continues and Karey nods fervently.
“A lot. Like we miss her. She loves you Nillan. Very much. You and your brother,” Karey whispers ruffling Killan long hair. He’d refused to trim it short only getting it cut at the edges. The style did suit him the downside being that he would spend his entire morning bunching it up to perfection.
“And you too mommy. Rain loves you very much.”
“Mm hmm,” is all she manages swallowing a huge lump down her throat. She fights to keep her tears at bay, her breathing slowed, “I love her too. Very much. Okay Nillan time…time to sleep. Tomorrow is school.”
“Okay mommy. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She stays in bed with them waiting till she hears Nillan’s soft breathing. Karey slowly pulls up resting her frame against the head board thoughts milling about in her head wildly. But something remains constant, the anguish that colonized her life.
Waking up to the news of Rain’s demise had been shattering. Her recovery slow and excruciating not to add the outrageous demand from her own mother and the mother-in-law.
Their nagging to patch things up with Lawrence had been persistent. Yet time after a time she’d refused their unsolicited advice. Going back to Lawrence would be the last damned thing she’d do in the world. And now Nillan had confirmed her choice.
Kane was her rock, standing by her through thick and thin. His punches able to fend Lawrence off every time. Her brother had lived up to her promise thrashing Lawrence so bad he had to be wheeled away in an ambulance. Despite all this, he still persisted. They both persisted but on opposite end.
Karey leans down and pecks Killan and Nillan a goodnight kiss on their foreheads before crawling to the edge of the bed. She pulls the covers up to their chins and switches off the lights and heads out.
She shuts the door softly behind her settling against it when the click sounds.
“Are they asleep?” the question booms cutting through her saddened haze like a hot knife through butter. Her blurred eyes scan the small space and find him settled on the L-shaped grey couch.
The single furniture had consumed most of the space in their one bedroomed apartment. The small space that served as their home for the past two years. Lawrence had forced her hand, making her move out of their house. The property had been listed for sell with three three-quarters of the money gotten going to Karey much to Lawrence’s dismay. The court had also been considerate in giving her full custody.
“Yes,” Karey mutters pulling the sleeves of her sweater up, “It took a while…but finally. They are sound asleep.”
Kane sits upwards, “Come sit down,” he offers patting the empty spot next to him. She nods and slowly approaches the sofa. The television ahead plays on, Kane had mounted it on the wall, Nillan and Killan wanting it to look just Rain’s television.
The animation they’d been watching still playing, “You look exhausted,” Kane states as she plop on the spot next to him.
“I am,” Karey answers honestly shuffling to sit comfortably on the plush cushions. She rests her head on Kane’s broad shoulder feeling satisfied from the warmth exuding from him. Kane sighs alongside Karey rubbing her arm in consolation, “Nothing a little rest can’t cure…”
“You’re right. Maybe I should leave you to…”
“Nillan asked about her again,” Karey barely whispers the discomfort in her throat escalating. She tries breathing away the pain but it only worsens, causing her eyes to cloud with tears. Talking of Rain always evoked strong reactions from her. Crippling her with pain and causing her world to come to a standstill. Time didn’t alleviate her grief, it only worsened it.
“Are you okay?” he asks careful not to trigger her. The mere mention of Rain’s name was like a fuse to a bomb. Setting Karey off into a frenzied state.
“No. I…I miss her,” Karey states truthfully, “I miss her so much Kane…I should have…”
She abruptly rises from the couch and begins pacing about, “I should have done more… it should have been me…”
“Hey…hey…stop please,” Kane mutters grabbing Karey’s hand. He pulls her down beside him engulfing her in an embrace. The happening before him something he’d grown to expect.
“I…I miss her so much,” Karey cries her tears soaking Kane’s shirt. She desperately bunches up the fabric clinging onto it tightly hoping to do away with some of the pain.
Kane holds on waiting for his sister to let it all out. The scenario they were in a familiar occurrence over the years. No matter how strong willed Karey depicted to the outside world it was clear to him how much suffering she was still suffering from.
The loss of Rain had been a heavy blow that Karey had struggled to pull through. She was still struggling and bottling up her pain. Rain’s death had been unexpected but till date it still raised some questions in his mind.
“It’s all my fault…”
“No! No…don’t ever say that,” Kane mutters, “You did all you could Karey. I know that sis.”
“No,” Karey pulls away burying her face in her hands. She continues to cry no amount of consolation able to rid her of the regret and guilt. She’d died so young, with so much potential ahead of her, “I should have done more…”
“Karey please…” Kane cuts through, “Will you stop with…”
“No! I should have done…”
“Maybe she’s still ali…”
Karey turns sharply, giving him a cold stare, “William please…No. Not this again,” she snaps.
“Please hear me out…”
“No! I don’t want to talk about…”
“Don’t talk then…just listen to me. The hospital had no records of Rain’s death. Her body wasn’t even registered at the morgue….” Kane fiercely argues back. He'd been suspicious of everything concerning Rain's disappearance from the office.
Karey laughs bitterly holding her own comments back, “Okay…how…how do you know all of this Kane. The hospital had been very reserved with her details. Then how do you know all of this Kane?”
“I did some digging,” he answers truthfully. Something about Lawrence’s words hadn’t been adding up. Kane had seen Rain’s family in the hospital and the doctors had successfully saved her life according to information he’d gotten from a nurse.
What made all of this strange had been her disappearance from the hospital. At first he’d thought Rain had been discharged but it seemed impossible, both she and Karey sustained major injuries.
Lawrence’s adamant conclusion on Rain’s death had been eye raising. And the fact he’d looked so contented at the news of Rain’s death made Kane more curious. The nurse had refused to talk of the case terming it against hospital policy to talk of patients to non-relatives. Though she’d been positively sure Rain had made it.
“So you are a private investigator now?”
“Karey just listen to me…”
“She’s gone Kane. And I’m left without…without her. A part of me died when she did…Kane please, just let her rest in peace,” she struggles to say, piecing her words with great difficulty, “I need to move on…”
“You still love her?” he question and Karey nods, “Then believe she’ll find her way back to you…”
“Kane please…”
“Love always finds its way back home,” he assures pulling her into another long embrace, “I read that today…and…and I actually believe it.”
“Well…for me it won't Kane. For me love is like an abyss one that I fell into it and I don’t think I’m ever getting out,” with that she pulls away, smiling sadly at him, “You’re staying right?”
“Yes!”
“I’ll get you the blankets then.”
- Writer
