CHAPTER ELEVEN
718 Words
Ethan didnât plan to find it.
He wasnât even looking for anything.
It just⊠happened.
He had stayed back after class, pretending to look for a missing worksheet he didnât actually need.
The classroom was quiet.
Empty.
Except for him.
And her seat.
That same seat in the corner.
Still untouched.
Still waiting.
Something pulled him toward it.
Slowly, he walked over.
His fingers brushed against the desk lightly, like he was afraid it would disappear if he touched it too hard.
Thatâs when he saw it.
A notebook.
Worn.
Simple.
Familiar.
His chest tightened.
ââŠThis is hers,â he muttered.
He knew it was.
Of course he did.
He had seen her hold it so many times.
Without thinkingâ
He picked it up.
For a moment, he hesitated.
He shouldnât open it.
It wasnât his.
But then againâŠ
He had never tried to know her.
Not when he had the chance.
So maybeâ
This was the only way left.
Slowly, he opened it.
The first few pages were normal.
Notes.
Classwork.
Neat handwriting.
Nothing unusual.
But thenâ
He turned another page.
And everything changed.
The writing was different.
Messier.
More⊠emotional.
His eyes scanned the words.
«âI saw him smile again today.â»
Ethan froze.
His grip on the notebook tightened.
«âI think I could watch him forever and never get tired of it.â»
His breath caught slightly.
He kept reading.
«âHe doesnât know I exist. But thatâs okay.
I just want him to be happy.â»
A strange feeling settled in his chest.
Unfamiliar.
Uncomfortable.
Another page.
«âHe talked to me today.
It was only for a second⊠but I think that was the happiest moment of my life.â»
Ethan swallowed hard.
He remembered that day.
Vaguely.
But to himâŠ
It had meant nothing.
To herâ
It was everything.
His hands started to feel cold.
He turned more pages.
Faster now.
Desperate.
«âHe laughed when they said I liked him.
I laughed too⊠but it hurt more than I expected.â»
His jaw tightened.
«âHe said I was weird today.
I think heâs right.
Because normal people donât love someone who will never love them back.â»
Ethanâs chest felt tight.
Too tight.
Each word felt like it was pressing against something inside him.
Something he didnât want to face.
But couldnât ignore anymore.
Page after page.
Moment after moment.
Her feelings.
Her thoughts.
Her pain.
All written downâ
All real.
«âI gave him my umbrella today.
He didnât take it.
But I left it anyway.
I donât know why I keep doing things like this.â»
His hands trembled slightly.
He remembered that.
He remembered exactly what he said.
ââŠI donât need your help.â
The words echoed in his mind.
But nowâ
They didnât sound the same.
Now they sounded cruel.
Another page.
«âHe likes someone else.â»
Ethanâs breath hitched.
«âSheâs kind. She deserves him.
I hope heâs happy with her.â»
He closed his eyes briefly.
Then opened them again.
He had to keep reading.
Even if it hurt.
«âI confessed today.â»
His heart pounded.
«âI knew what he would say.
But I still hoped⊠just a little.â»
His grip tightened.
«âHe looked at me like I was nothing.â»
The words blurred for a second.
«âBut itâs okay.
Because loving him was never supposed to be easy.â»
Silence filled the room.
Heavy.
Suffocating.
Ethan slowly lowered the notebook.
His mind replayed everything.
Every moment.
Every word.
Every time he ignored her.
Every time he hurt her.
Every time he chose not to care.
And nowâ
Now he was reading the truth.
The truth he never wanted to see.
She had loved him.
Not casually.
Not lightly.
But completely.
And he had broken that loveâŠ
Like it was nothing.
His chest tightened painfully.
For the first timeâ
It wasnât just uncomfortable.
It hurt.
And he didnât know how to fix it.
Because the one person who couldâ
Was no longer there.
And maybeâŠ
Never would be again.
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