Chapter 9
Being onstage was like being drunk, but without any unpleasant side effects. When I sang, the world clicked into order. If I was sad, I let my grief into the song. When I was angry, my rage fueled the lyrics. When I had an audience, I felt like all of the people watching me were lending me a bit of strength and energy. I’d heard people call it a high, but that wasn’t quite the right term for me. When I was singing, I became stronger. If I didn’t need the music to channel an excess of emotion, I simply become more. I became sexier, confident, and alive when I was in the right mood.
When I finished singing and walked over to Alamo, he was looking at me exactly like I wanted. I could see the desire in his expression. Once you’ve seen that look, that almost lean-in, that simmer in
