A Walk to the Moon

FINALLY A NAME FOR HIM

As I opened my eyes from the very worst sleep I had, I felt a foot in my face. Hands were wrapped and legs were piled up into me. A loud ringing phone woke me up and these people who were so dead last night from drinking too much didn’t even bother with that ringing phone. I loosen up their arms and legs that cling on to me. I grab it with all the starting morning powers I have and throw them aside so that I can move freely and answer that phone that has been bothering me.

But as I stood up at the side of the bed. I can’t find any phone at the table and anywhere. So what I just did is to follow the irritating sound of that phone. Even though it is loud, these drunkard friends of mine can’t wake from it.  Until I was able to search their pockets and that phone was Jona’s. I hurriedly looked into it, and checked who was bothering him this early morning. And I was too shocked when the name of his mom flashed on the screen of his phone. I think someone is getting to be f*cked up.

I pushed the power button of the phone,  and I didn't answer the phone since I still have some respect for someone’s privacy. I checked the digital clock that was hanging on my color gray wall with stripes on it and it was already six o’clock in the morning. I was about to find another place for me to lay down, but I jumped out of shockness when the the door of my room abruptly opened.

“Mom?!” I said while catching my breath.

“Where did you go last night Eli?” asked by her.

And yes I was called Eli, it is my nickname with my mom because he hates pronouncing my whole name and according to her it tires her so much calling out my name as whole. But when she’s still in love with my dad before she’s not tired of pronouncing his whole long name.

“At the bar?” I replied dumbly. I was answering her question with a question. As if I didn't know I came from the bar if in reality I was really from there last night.

My mom doesn’t mind if I am going to the bar and drinking, and coming home late at night but she’s too lucky for me since I don’t drink that much that could end me being red and dead drunk.

My mom from the mouth of my room, entered and checked who were those people that piled up in my bed. This is such a shameful moment for my friends since they look like humans that were bombarded with nuclear bombs. “Who are those people Eli?” my mom asked while pointing at my friends who are having a very nice sleep, -- a nice sleep? Well based on their positions it is a complicated sleep, “Are you that drunk last night and just let in these strangers from the street? Our home here is not an orphanage for you to keep random people Eli!” my mom shouted.

I was supposed to be serious and be afraid of how angry my mom is but I was having a slight laugh.

“Mom, they are friends okay? I was with them last night, and you know I am not that kind of person who drinks  booze till death.”

“Well, who knows? If you’re like a wild hyena in the bar drinking some alcoholic drinks Eli. And besides that?” my mom interrupted what she was saying and walked towards my friends who are still sleeping even though my mom and I are having loud conversations here in this room. She is now picking up the hair of my transgender friends that covers their face. My mom slowly turned her head to me, and showed me as if she had a very big question mark in her face.

“Your friends are girls?” she asks and walks back to her position a while ago.

“They are my childhood friends' moms.”

“What? Childhood friends? Don’t tell me you’re gay since then?”

Very surprising right? How my mom didn’t know the real me. Even my friends didn’t know the real gender identity I carry all the time. I am still this person who’s still in a closet, hiding and afraid of anything, most especially judgement. I am already a grown up man. Unlike these transgender friends of mine that they were able to unleash their inner feelings in their younger years, that end them up to live in the real world they want.

Well, one more reason that I am very afraid to come out is, my dad is a gay. That he married another man because he was already free to choose when my grandma and grandad had already passed away. My mom was left alone. So I am really afraid that she might well hate me, and my friends. That’s why I keep being lowkey and I am already comfortable with the situation I am in now. But if things change to the thing I want then I will celebrate my own freedom.

I walk towards the bed, so that I can introduce my friends in the worst way. I told them this is them, this is him, this is her. I explained it all to my mom that some of the boys I used to play with when I was a kid are now addressed as girls.

==

I am now in the dining room sitting and busy scrolling at my phone while my friends are still sleeping. And my mom is cooking pancakes and bacon for us. But as I scroll on my i********: I was able to run over the post of the bar where we partied last night I was already followed with them since before I even took my flight we are already talking about the bar we are going to have our party and they recommend bunch if it and this is the bar I choose without any reason at all, I just did choose it.

In the post I saw someone very familiar. I saw the bouncer that checked for my stamp last night as I entered the bar and that boy in black hoodie that was holding a baseball bat. The post has a caption.

“Not him to make some war. But to catch someone who didn’t pay for an egg.”

Posted: June 2: 2021 @Samurai NightLife Bar

What the heck? How dare this bar make me the hidden topic of their caption. If I am the one who paid them a bountiful amount of money because of what my friends drank last night! But yeah I didn’t pay at first because I really don’t have cash but I have paid after so nothing is wrong there any more. But what’s more interesting is that a boy with black hoodie is in the post. So as usual I hurriedly checked whoever was tagged in the post and surprisingly there are only two tagged people in which one of them was the account of that boy who doesn’t have a name yet for me.

@BouncerMarky @IHHIV, these are the only tagged accounts in the post, and I think that Marky is the bouncer that was in the picture and I think this weird username would be that boy in black hoodie. I tried to stalk @IHHIV to check who it really is since it might be another person. But I wasn’t wrong, it was him.

His account only had his face and other friends, he is so attractive to look at. Even in pictures, in person or in near distance. Well I still can’t forget what happened last night, the time that we said goodbye to each other I thought it would be hard for me to see him again but no. Because our paths crossed again because he helped with something last night and unexpectedly I was with him all the time till four in the morning.

====

Last Night…

We are already out of the bar and I am really tired with my friends now. Imagine I am holding five drunk friends of mine. And now they are acting up like crazy people. Some of them were shouting, some of them were taking out their guts. I don’t really know what to do with these friends of mine. I don’t know how I am going to bring them home. I was planning to bring them into my house since I know they can’t even move on their own now. And I don’t know how I am going to enter their house. And it would be draining if I am going to bring them to their own houses knowing that I am the only one who’s alive here. Alive from being drunk. What’s even worse? We do not have our own cars since those uninvited people a while ago were the ones who picked us up. And they already left since I can’t even talk to them, because I do not know those people. I have no choice but to call a cab.

After a few minutes it is already two in the morning. I know it might sound so early for you if you are a party goer, but since these pieces of crap already knocked out no choice that I am going to go home this early. But thank God, I was able to call a cab easily.

Now the next thing I am going to do is to individually put my friends in the cab, they were so heavy even tho how feminine they look. I was struggling when I was carrying this piranha friend of mine. He is the first one that I have carried since he is the lightest among them. And next would be the only girl in our squad Desiree, then Lara, then Dana since we are not able to overload the cab Jamie and I would be in another cab. I was able to quickly hire a one cab but I was about to carry Jamie but I couldn't. I was pulling her hand but she wouldn't stand. Until I used all my powers using my two hands, but as I pulled her even harder my hands got wet, and with her somehow wet skin made my hand slip.

I was waiting for myself to be on the floor but everything turned in slow motion. My hands were moving in a circular pattern, you know, the typical falling people move. But right after I reached the floor, suddenly someone held my hip stopping me from falling. And now, my posture was like I am a magician that was floating in the air, but not. I turned my head to see someone who had just stopped me from falling.

“You?”  yes, him again.

“Yes,” he smiled, “me again.” he said and suddenly pulled me up to be on my feet. After that I fixed myself and acted like normal.

“What’s happening here?” he asked and looked to the cabs that were awaiting me and Jamie to hop on. “You seem to be in lots of trouble huh.” he continued and walked towards Jamie and tried to hold her hand, pulled her up and carried her easily and put her to the cab. How I wish I was the one who’s drunk here and be carried by this boy infront of me.

“There.” he said while he was fixing Jamie to sit. After that he stood up and held the door of the cab.

“Thanks.” this is the only word I can say. It is so embarrassing that he has already helped me a lot. It’s already twice he helped me during difficult situations, as if I am a troublemaker in every aspect I do.

“Well I think it’s time to go now?” and he gestured his hands to show the way going in the cab. I gave him a smile and hopped on the cab. But I was surprised when he suddenly pushed me all the way in the cab and he also hopped on.

“What are you doing?” I asked. I was really confused. Why would he come with me as if he is living in our neighborhood? But how? He doesn’t even know where we are going. And now he keeps on pushing me so that he can have a room to sit until he closes the door. I am still waiting for his answer as to why he’s coming with us. Until he looked into my confused face right after he was comfortable sitting in the cab now.

“Would you be able to carry these people? In addition, it's already late at night and it would be dangerous for you. So, tell the cab driver your destination.” he explained. Well I think he is true. But it would be dangerous if he’s going to be alone coming back here. Ahuh! maybe he is going to rehire this cab going to his home.

I was about to tell the driver my destination when suddenly the window of the cab from this black hoodie boy’s side opened and it was the driver of the cab from the other side where my other friends were.

“Ahm. Sorry, we are going to McKinley Village.” I said right even after the driver asked.

……….

We are now already halfway to our house. And yes, we have a house here even though we live in another country. Because my mom didn’t sell our property here. She got it renovated instead. My mom is a teacher and also a business woman and her business is doing a good job in Canada. And now he has my other relatives looking into it so that she can focus on teaching which has been her dream since then. All of my family now on my mother side is living in Canada. That's why we have caretakers looking for our house.

It was too silent here since the cab started going to our home. We never spoke, and this boy beside me is in his closed eyes with his arm crossed. I was able to think that I still didn't know his name so to break this deafening silence, I started to clear my throat as an introduction.

“Yow bro?” I said just to make sure that he can listen to me.

“What?” he said and opened his eyes just to look at me.

“Well, I just want to ask, What’s your name? What should I call you?” he changed his position by facing me.

“I am Ace, Adam Ace Martinez. What about you?”

“Elixir, Elixir John Miller.” and finally we have already introduced ourselves to each other. 

“Nice name.” and he goes back to his original position. “Should I call you John then? As your nickname?” he smiled and I don’t know if he silently laughed since it is somehow dark here inside. But calling me John is the worst thing ever. I am cursing to that name so much, I don’t know why I hate that name. I just hate it without any reason.

“Don’t even mention that name.” I said with my voice sounding like I am threatening him.

After a short conversation we are already in front of our house. I hurriedly checked on the purse, wallets and even pockets of my friends if they had hefty cash to pay for the cab since I do not have any cash plus my mom is already sleeping and he would be angry if I bothered her. But then it would fall that my friends don’t have enough, so it ends up that Ace adds some of the money for the cab. This is so embarrassing.

We carefully brought my friend into my room, and it would be hard for me since my room is on the third floor. While my mom is in the first, because she hates stairs that much. Expectedly Jamie would be the last one to be brought since she’s really heavy. But I know we are both now tired and I am so shameless if I am not going to help Ace to carry Jamie. Even though he doesn't want me to help because he’s telling me that he can, I did insist. So we end up carrying Jamie.

We are now near to an end, I just wish that I would be having a good sleep until tomorrow since I am already drained as much. Until we already reached my bed and threw Jamie on it, but then, unknowingly Ace lost his balance. I was about to grab him but I was too weak. He tried to pull into my shirt’s collar with his hands. Knowing that he would be able to avoid the fall. But physics is a joke this time, I was the one got pulled, until Ace finally fell on the floor and followed by me falling into his chest.

Unexpectedly my face nearly had a contact in his. But I can’t get the fact that our faces were inches away. That made me even smell his perfume with his drunk smell as well. Our eyes met, and I was able to take a closer look into his pinkish smooth lips, making me want to kiss it. I can feel his heart beating on my chest. His breath, his hair smell and all.

“What are you doing?” me and Ace were shocked when we heard a drunk voice out of the blue. We stand fastly as we can from being on the floor in an awkward position. And then we saw Jona sitting on the side and looking into us. I was so nervous that he was in that position that even made him think of something.

“I think I need to go?” Ace said and he was about to walk but I stopped him. I held his hand just to stop him.

“Wait, I need to tell you something.” I said.

“If you are talking about what happened, don’t worry about it, it’s just an accident. If you are too nervous because of him, don’t be. Because he was just in zombie mode.” he said. And I looked into Jona, who was still sitting there. And he suddenly swings going back laying in the bed.

“See?”

But I was not talking about that because I know that there’s nothing wrong about it. But sometimes those positions can make a rumor that’s why maybe he was thinking that way. But we just did accidently fell, right? And I was just asking if he wants to eat something since it was just too shameless if I did not treat my visitor.

“Are you hungry?” I asked him.

“No.”

“Then what do you want then? It would be shameful if I’m not treating you since you already helped me a lot today.” I insist.

“Hey look,” he said as if he was angry and walked towards me. “I don’t need anything, okay? I just want to help. And go home.”

“Do you live near here?”

“No, I live near the bar.”

“Well then let me give you a ride. ”

……….

I am now driving back to the bar and Ace is sitting there chillin’ and enjoying the music since I know he drank too but it was too impressive that he looks like he isn’t tipsy or drunk. Maybe he has a high tolerance of alcohol. I know he is not looking at the way so I might bring him into a nearby fast food chain. So I turned up my phone and used an app for a map and attached to the phone holder. I just drove silently and didn’t let Ace know. And after just a minute of driving I was able to reach the nearest McdoNald’s.

I decided just to make a drive thru since Ace already rejected my offer a while ago. Maybe he can just eat what I am going to order when he is home. When I stopped to order Ace noticed it. He opened his eyes and checked the surroundings.

“Where are we?” he asked while scratching his eyes.

“We're in McdoNalds just doing some Drive Thru.” I said.

“ I said I’m not…” I cut him.

“I’m hungry, okay? So just let me order my food.” I said and he kept silent after hearing those.

Minutes passed. “Is this your last order sir?” the cashier said and repeating to say my order just for confirmation.

“Yes that’s all.” kindly said.

“Okay sir, your to…...” the cashier was cutted.

“One Large Iced Coffee Vanilla, One Large Fries, Two Deluxe CheeseBurgers and one brewed coffee with creamer and sugar free sweetener.” Ace suddenly talked while he was still in his closed eyes and I was confused, since he told me that he is not hungry and just wants to go home. But I smiled.

“What are you saying?” I asked.

“That’s my order. If you want to buy it then buy it. If not then don’t” he said.

I laughed a bit with him because it was too funny to him that he would order at the last minute but I will be happy if I would be happy that’s why  I said, “Okay sure, sure.” and ordered the things he wanted.

We waited in a parking lot since the brewed coffee needed a minute to be completed. But it didn’t take so long and after just a minute it was already here. And I continued to drive back to the bar.

But then Ace noticed that there’s a phone in front of us with a map app on it. He touched my phone and he was looking for a specific location. He marked or pinned a location somewhere and I think that was his house. So I just followed the pinned location he had pinned.

Time passed, I already reached the pinned location. I stopped at that location and got my phone. I got out of my car to check if the map was accurate. He said that his house was near the bar but we are on a hill with no houses, so dark, with just trees but with a good view of our hometown. But then suddenly my car that was parked suddenly moved and I saw Ace driving it.

What the? He must be running with my car!

I run hastily to the car and knocked on the window. I grabbed the driver’s seat door and to my surprise it opened.

“Woah woah woah!!” Ace shouted as if he was going to an accident. He stopped the car and looked at me confusingly.

“What are you doing John?!”

“What?! I am stopping you Ace!” I shouted back.

“Stopping?! I’m not running with your car bro, what the heck.” he said and he was laughing at me. While I am being serious.

“Then why are you driving my car?”

“Hey, look. I brought you here since the view is good. Then I am going to repark your car so that we can sit in the back while eating. Since your car is a pick up type it would be good enough space to sit on.” he explained.

Well, he can’t blame me since he wasn’t telling me his plan. I think we are here because it was his home.

After minutes he is able to turn around the car. He gets out of it and breathes the fresh air from the good environment of this place, plus it is chilly. While Ace is enjoying the view as me. I think of getting the foods we ordered. And put it on the back. He came right after he saw the food and checked for the one he ordered. And I just noticed that he ordered Iced Coffee and brewed coffee. Which is seemingly weird because that is too much caffeine.

“You are drinking all of that?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I’m going to give this to grandma.” and he separated his food and the food for his grandma and put it back inside the car.

After that, we eat peacefully while we are facing the bright night lights of my hometown. As in, no one talked and we just enjoyed eating since I am really hungry, and same with him based on the way he eats. After eating we did even smoke. I was not really going to smoke but you know, it’s hard rejecting the offer of an Adam Ace. I don’t know why. Because when it comes to other people I was too fast to reject them if I am against it. 

And after all the eating and smoking sessions, we are now lying on our hands while looking in the stars again. We are now resting from eating too much food and anytime we will be going home. But to break the silence I was the one to talk again.

“You really love grandma huh?” I asked as I broke the silence in between while still looking at the stars.

“More than everyone.” he replied.

“She’s too lucky to have you.”

“No, I am the one who’s the most lucky to have her.” he said and he just sounds too kind. 

“Let's just say that you were both lucky.” I laugh slightly.

He looked at me and said “Agreed.” and I heard him following my slight laugh.

We continued on looking at the night sky. And to my surprise I suddenly encountered a falling star. 

“Wow! That was a good falling star. Did you see it?” I asked him since he was looking at the night sky too.

“Yes. But I am already tired of it.” 

“You must be coming here often? That’s why you are tired of looking at the shooting stars?”

“When I have problems or I need to unwind. I always come here but there’s another place that I really go too often.” he said.

“And what I really wanna see is the northern light. It was beautiful. It is my dream to go to another country that has those.” he continued and I was not expecting that he would want those. That he was interested in astronomical things.

“Really? I always see those. Look.” I said and I reached for the phone I have in my pocket. Because I always keep pictures of auroras when I encounter those back in Canada.

I opened my gallery where my photoshoots album was. I gave him my phone so that he could freely look at it. And I can see in his eyes his interest with the auroras. That he even zooms and looks for every detail of it. And after which he is able to satisfy himself by seeing one of those.

“You must be lucky to see those.” he said and you can really hear the sound of enviousness in his voice.

“We have our own luck Ace. But if you want to see things you want you just need to work hard and travel all the places you want and you might be able to visit places that have auroras.” I said to motivate himself. “Or maybe I will tag you along going back to Canada after my mom's business here?” I added.

I saw him crawling by his elbow from lying on his hands going towards me. He is now in the position like a mermaid who’s dragging its tail. Until he got closer to me, and closer and closer and closer to inches again, that made me think of what happened a while back.

I really hate myself for being like this, that gives me adrenaline shots that makes my heart beat faster. What’s even worse is I can’t move an inch.

“Really? You can?” he asked with a sound of something like he’s tired and too tired to talk. And I can’t say no, because he really heard what I just had said.

“Y-y-yes.” I stuttered since he’s really near to me again.

“Oookaaayyy…” until he lay his head on my chest. And he acted like a robot that run out of battery. And now I’m doomed since my heart beat is in an abnormal state now. He might heard how its beats.

“Ace?!” I said, “Ace?!” again and I tap him continuously to get his head out of my chest.

“Ace? Come on bro! Get your head out of my chest.” and he’s still not moving. Until I heard him snore.

“What the heck?!” I said to myself since I have someone who is suddenly sleeping out of the blue and I can’t even move him. But I have no choice. what I just did is to let him sleep there but it is weird that he could sleep that fast. I know he’s drunk but not acting like it. But should I waste this moment?