DILEMMA - YOUNG LOVE

Missing Her

It was the next day. The game was starting in an hour. I went early so I could watch the pre-game of a bunch of kids a little younger than me. There were about 200 people present but it seemed awfully quiet. Something was off and I couldn't figure out what. An hour had passed and I see my teammates come in one by one. Anthony, Joel, Migz, a bunch of others and Andrew. But something looked quite different. He was walking towards the benches. And then it hit me. She wasn't here. Ara. Was. Not. Here. I felt guilty. And then I felt sad. Obviously it's because of what happened yesterday, she didn't want to sit here and see me play. I pretended that it didn't bother me. And sprinted towards the bench.

"Hey, are we ready to win this!?", I shouted while everyone roared in response.

I walked over to where Andrew was. Before I could ask him he cut me off...

"She'll be out of town for the rest of the summer", he said coolly."You screwed up."

I felt the cold air leave my skin. It was quiet. Too quiet. I feel... different. Joel threw the ball at me but I wasn't paying attention and it hits my left shoulder. He apologized quickly and gestured for me to take practice shots. Time seemed to be in fast forward because all of a sudden I hear the buzzer ring as to start the first quarter.

In all my years I've never played worst. Most of the time the ball gets taken from me. And the times I do get a hold of the ball, I miss the shot. My teammates look at me like I've done something illegal. Luckily Andrew and the rest were at the top of their game. I call for a substitute and sit this one out. Migz makes the last shot and puts us in a 98-92 win. We're 5-0 and everyone was cheering. But I felt useless and alone sitting there. What was wrong with me? Before yesterday I was fine. Is this just guilt or do I actually miss her. Do I actually want her on every game cheering me on? Was that annoyance suddenly turning into something more?

The team celebrated again in Andrew's place. I got there and I kept looking for her. I know she wasn't there but I keep searching for her. Ugh. What the hell is this feeling.

"Could you relax? We won. You stank the place up but we won. What's gotten into you anyway?", Migz asked me the same question I've been asking myself.

Maya came in and everyone stared at her beauty.

"Hey, Maya", said Anthony, Migz, Andrew and Joel.

"Hi, guys. That was a great game. When's the next one?", asked Maya.

"THIS SATURDAY!", Joel shouted, a little too loudly.

I began to realize Ara won't be there either or any of my games for that matter. All because I was too excited to hook up with a girl. A girl I wasn't even attracted to. Sure Maya was pretty but growing up, I never thought of her more than a friend. It was all hormones and the spur of the moment. I wished she would just come back.

Saturday came and nothings changed. She wasn't there. And I sucked once more. Sitting out on the game once again. Actually something did change from the last game, I felt even lonelier. Everything was colder than before. And I miss her. The loud girl screaming my name every chance she could get. Ara.

I didn't join the celebration that night. Instead I went to my favorite spot in the church parking lot. Sat on the hood of my car and closed my eyes.

*ping

I opened my eyes and saw a text message from Andrew:

"Call her, apologize and get your s**t together because I'm getting tired of having to pick up after you. +63917*******"

I hurriedly dialed the number. I've never felt this nervous before. My hands were shaking as I held the phone next to my ear. What should I say tho. Should I tell her that I missed her besides apologizing or would that be too weird.

*click

"Hello? Who is this?", a sweet, familiar voice sounded.

Now what.