Like a tiger, the fierce police broke into our village, and many abducted women were rescued, and many villagers who abducted women were arrested, including my parents. My life has therefore become more unrecognizable. I was scolded and beaten by the whole village. Everyone thought it was me who brought the police. They didn't allow this traitor to stay in the village anymore. I was speechless, because I knew in my heart that even if Xiaoyue called the police, it was my responsibility. I could no longer stay in this village where I was born and raised. I could only pack my bags and bring a little savings I had saved years, and rolled out of the village like a stray dog.
The farther away from the village, the more miserably I cried. Countless emotions accumulated in my chest, the most profound being the feeling of reluctance. I was not at ease with my elderly grandmother, nor with my silly brother, and even more ashamed of my parents who were in jail. I knew that it was Xiaoyue who made me leave my hometown and become homeless. It was she who called the police. But in any case, I could only blame myself. It was me who let Xiaoyue go. Before letting her go, I should have thought of all these consequences. This painful price was all my own fault.
I wandered outside like a solitary ghost for several days, came to the train station, looked at the people coming and going, and saw those college students dragging suitcases. My wilted heart suddenly had a touch. God's teasing made me unable to go to college like a normal child. However, that city, that university, after all, was my dream. Even if I didn't have the money to sign up, at least, I had to go to the place of my dream to take a look. Thinking of this, I immediately took out the money that I was reluctant to use even for the hotel and meals, bought a train ticket, and embarked on the road to pursue my dream.
During the back-to-school rush, the train felt like a chaotic marketplace. People were crammed together, and I had purchased a standing ticket for the 20-hour journey. I spent most of the time standing because the train’s amenities were too expensive, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything. So, I endured the thirst with an empty stomach throughout the entire trip.
Finally, I endured until the last stop. As I stepped off the train, the scorching sun blinded me. Drenched in sweat, I stumbled to a small shop, desperate for a bottle of water. But when I reached into my pocket, I realized it had a hole. All the hard-earned money I had saved was gone—every cent. My legs gave way, and I collapsed on the ground, tears of helplessness streaming down my face. It hit me: not only were people in my village unkind, but the outside world was even more treacherous. Suddenly, I felt that there were no good people left in this world.
The thunderbolt of this unexpected blow drained my remaining strength and willpower. I struggled to lift my head, squinting at the scorching sun. In that moment, I surrendered. I yielded to the harsh realities of life, to an unjust world. My dreams seemed impossibly distant. Exhausted and penniless, how could I ever ascend to that dream university?
Weak and unable to withstand the direct sunlight any longer, I lowered my head. Tears welled up in my stinging eyes and fell to the ground. At that moment, I felt even worse off than a beggar. Beggars at least had the strength to beg, but I had lost everything, including that faint glimmer of hope. Exhausted, I longed for sleep. Just as I prepared to close my eyes, a ten-dollar bill fluttered down before me, shining like pure gold.
In that moment, I realized someone mistook me for a beggar. But I didn't feel ashamed; instead, my desperate and icy heart thawed slightly. Suddenly, I believed that this world wasn't entirely indifferent. Kind-hearted people existed. I glimpsed a thread of hope, a survival hope. Clutching that hope, I picked up the ten-dollar bill from the ground, lifted my face, and wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to the stranger.
Perhaps there was some inexplicable connection. As I lifted my head, the girl who had given me money—carrying a pink suitcase—suddenly turned back to look at me. In that fleeting moment of eye contact, a surge of emotions swept through me. I stood there, dumbfounded. The face not far away was unmistakably familiar. It wasn't anyone else; it was the transformed Xiaoyue.
In the sunlight, she dazzled—youthful and radiant. Her beauty emitted a unique glow that pierced my eyes and heart. My chest trembled violently. And in Xiaoyue’s eyes, I saw the same astonishment. She incredulously squeezed out two words: “Ge Tian?”
At that moment, a well-dressed middle-aged man approached Xiaoyue. He casually glanced at me and then turned to her, asking, “Xiaoyue, do you know him?”
My consciousness, fragile and fading, can only hold on for so long. Chaos reigns within me; my mind feels like a boiling cauldron. I yearn to rush toward her, to confront her—was she the one who reported me? Why did she cause me to lose everything, even my family and home? But I refrain. Ultimately, this is my own doing. Now, I lie prostrate before her like a dog. I refuse to be pitiable in her eyes.
Struggling to rise, I summoned every ounce of strength and took a deep breath. I avoided looking at her, masking my dialect with standard Mandarin as I replied, “I’m sorry, you’ve mistaken me for someone else. Thank you for the money!” With that, I turned away, limping resolutely into the distance…
In that moment, I was no longer weak. Instead, a surge of courage erupted from the depths of my heart.
Xiaoyue didn’t call out to me, but I could feel the searing heat on my back—her intense gaze fixed on me. Still, I didn’t turn around. With every ounce of strength, I staggered out of the train station.
At the convenience store, I held the ten-dollar bill Xiaoyue had given me up to my nose, inhaling deeply. Then I handed it to the cashier, buying a bottle of water and a piece of bread. Quenching my thirst and easing my hunger, I clutched the change I received. Resolute, I stepped onto the path toward the university…
As I stepped off the bus, the grand and imposing university gate captured my soul. I stared, transfixed, as a continuous stream of students poured through that majestic entrance into the campus. Each face radiated happiness, and I longed to be like them—full of enthusiasm and hope, walking toward the dream-filled campus. But in the end, I could only lower my head, limping, and traverse the vibrant atmosphere alone.
Dragging my weary steps, I explored every inch of the campus. Everything—the buildings, the towering trees, the lush flowers, the bustling crowds—tugged at my heart like a poison. It was all so beautiful, yet none of it belonged to me. Reluctant to abandon these wonders, I refused to leave. Even if I couldn’t be a student here, I vowed to stay, guarding my dream.
With determination, I began my quest for work on campus. But despite my unwavering resolve, reality revealed its cruel nakedness. I asked every shop on the university’s commercial street, visited every cafeteria, yet not a single place would hire me for odd jobs. Perhaps they, too, didn’t want this dirty, disabled person tarnishing their sacred grounds.
Day after day, I persisted despite countless setbacks and the cold glances I received. The university, my refuge, had become my second home. Reality could shatter fragile souls, but it couldn’t easily break my unwavering determination. I dragged my weary body, searching tirelessly, and finally, fate smiled upon me.
I found work at a small restaurant near the campus. The owners, a Sichuan couple, either pitied me or genuinely needed help. Although the pay wasn’t high, I was grateful. During the back-to-school rush, the eatery buzzed with activity. Despite my hunger, I worked diligently, even helping the owners with accounting. Impressed by my dedication, they raised my salary by 200 dollar.
And so, day in and day out, I toiled. I ate leftovers, slept at the restaurant, and effectively became their unofficial assistant. The work was demanding, but whenever I had a moment, I’d sneak into the campus. It was my reward for the relentless hustle. Sometimes, I eavesdropped on lectures, other times I hid in the library to read. Most often, I sat beneath the shade of a tree, watching the new freshmen during military training, my heart filled with mixed emotions. Countless times, I yearned to be one of them in camouflage, but reality always jolted me awake. Although my wishes remained wishes, this life—leaning on the university while working—was enough to satisfy me.
In no time, I had been working at the restaurant for over half a month, and the owners had grown to trust me. On this particular day—the last day of freshman military training—I was in the kitchen as usual, diligently chopping my carrots. Suddenly, the restaurant’s only two waitstaff rushed into the kitchen, their faces tense. They explained that there was a disturbance in the dining area, and they sought refuge here. The chef beside me hurried off to inform the owners. As for me, I continued slicing my vegetables, maintaining an outward calm.
Yet inside, I prayed fervently. I hoped that the commotion wouldn’t spill into the kitchen, disrupting the peace I had painstakingly found. But halfway through cutting the carrot, my body froze as if struck by lightning. The familiar shouts echoed in my ears—one after another. My heart, feigning composure, began pounding violently. It felt as if I’d been cursed. Without hesitation, I dropped the knife and hobbled out of the kitchen.
The restaurant was chaos. I stood in a corner, nervously scanning the crowd. And when I saw that face, I couldn’t suppress the trembling that overtook my entire body. Since our parting at the train station, I believed she would never reappear in my life. I thought I could bid farewell to my painful past once and for all. But how could I have anticipated that she would unexpectedly cross my path again?