Devilish Mate

16

Lucifer’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me against him and holding me tight. “So you do remember.”

“Part of me wishes I didn’t. Our daughter…” The pain returned, and it was too much. I couldn’t breathe. I pressed my face into his shoulder, craving his familiar strength.

“I know,” he said in a low voice. “I understand.”

Yes—he was the only one who truly understood. Jophiel had taken his memories too, and he’d only just regained them a few days ago. The pain was fresh for him also, which was why he’d warned me I might not want the memories back.

I gripped the front of his suit. “I should have listened to you and stayed in the dark.”

“No, it’s better that you know. Harder, yes. But better.” His hand moved slowly across my back as he held me close. “I knew you’d choose to get the memories back. You always did want the truth.”

The truth...the truth brought pain. But it brought clarity too. I took a deep breath and looked up at Lucifer with determination burning inside me. “Adam. He took our daughter. He has to pay.”

Lucifer growled in response, his chest rumbling with the force of his rage. “My people are searching for Adam as we speak. With the curse broken, we can defeat him once and for all.”

I nodded, focusing on the anger to get through the pain. Vengeance wouldn’t return what was lost, but it would help. And as long as Adam was out there, he would continue trying to torment us and everyone we loved. I was going to kill that fucker, once and for all, even if it was the last thing I did in this life.

“Adam has taken everything from me a thousand times, but that night I thought he might truly have broken me,” Lucifer said, his voice distant as he recalled his own memories. “You vanished, leaving behind only a trail of blood, and I knew it was bad. I managed to track you to Jophiel, but by then it was too late. She told me you were both gone.” His hands tightened around me, pressing me harder against him. “I’m very familiar with grief after watching you die so many times, but this...this was different. It was unbearable. I could barely think straight, and Jophiel was able to overpower me and remove my memories. Perhaps I didn’t fight it too hard. Perhaps oblivion seemed preferable.”

I sensed the great depths of grief inside Lucifer, akin to my own, even though he was good at hiding it from his face. “I wanted the same thing. It seemed easier at the time to forget.”

“But now the pain is back, just as raw, and you want to tear the world apart,” he finished for me.

Emotion made my throat tight. He knew me so well after hundreds of lifetimes together, no matter what body I was in. “Yes.”

He cupped my cheek in his hand, his eyes intense as he gazed into mine. “Then return to Las Vegas with me as my dark queen, and together we’ll burn the world down and rebuild it from the ashes.”

I stepped back from him and glanced around the flower shop that had once meant so much to me. Now all I wanted was for Adam to pay. I wouldn’t find justice if I stayed here in Hannah’s life. I wouldn’t find peace either, if such a thing was possible. But leaving this place behind was harder than I expected. For the last five years, this had been my life. Real or not, it was everything I’d known...until I’d met Lucifer.

I turned back to him, my decision made. “I’ll go with you, but just because I’m returning doesn’t mean I forgive you for what you did. If you want me to be your queen, you have to start treating me as your equal. You can’t keep making decisions that turn my whole world upside down without discussing them with me first.”

His eyes narrowed. “I already explained why I had to kill you the way I did. You’re welcome to be mad at me for the next few hundred years, but I stand by my actions.”

“But you didn’t give me a choice! Just like Jophiel, you took away my options and had all the power in the situation. I know you had your reasons, but I still can’t accept that this was the only way, and I’m not sure how to move on from it. You killed me, Lucifer. With your own hands.”

He scowled at that, his jaw clenching, but after a moment he managed to say, “I suppose I’m so used to making all the decisions on my own after ruling the demons for thousands of years, and most of that time without you by my side. I will do my best to consult with you in the future.”

It wasn’t an apology, but it was something. An acknowledgment that maybe he’d f****d up a little at least. I wasn’t sure Lucifer could really change at this point, but he was my mate. The two of us were inevitable, and I couldn’t escape him even if I wanted to. Which meant I had to find a way to live with him. More than that, I wanted to find a way. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

“What will you do about the shop?” he asked.

“Close it, I guess. It was never really mine anyway. Jophiel is the real owner.”

He rested a hand on my shoulder possessively. “I’ll send someone to deal with it. My people will handle everything.”

I nodded and looked around the place for what was probably the last time, and all I felt was an aching hollowness deep inside me. “I’m ready.”

9

Lucifer

H

annah was silent the entire drive back to her friend Brandy’s house. I couldn’t blame her. She’d been through a lot these past few days, but now she would return home to Vegas where she belonged, and together we would get through this. It was clear Hannah needed time, and I had plenty to give her—we had forever, after all.