Bianca I watched as the boys arrived with Erika to the burial, because there was no funeral service. She asked if it was an issue, because I hadn’t spoken to them lately. I said that it wasn’t, because they were coming to support me, and it would be selfish to refuse them that privilege. They’d done nothing wrong, and I’d taken my anger out on everyone but the one person who deserved it, because he was dead. I couldn’t vent to him, as much as I wanted to do that. No, I had to carry on and be thankful that he didn’t take me down with him. I felt shitty for thinking it or even voicing it when I spoke to Uncle Floyd or Nan, but Dad being dead meant that we were safe. He would have not only sold his soul to the devil, but all of ours too if it meant that he got to gamble more. I’d convinced

