Whisper

2

2

“ARE WE ALMOST THERE?” I asked, staring through my sunglasses at the endless rows of cornfields. We’d been driving for hours through the countryside and I could no longer tell the difference from one town to the next. More than anything, I just wanted to get out of the car and stretch my stiff legs.

Mom cleared her throat. “Pretty soon.”

Nathan was following us in his Mustang, and I glanced back to see him talking on his cell phone once again.

“Oh, Lord,” I said, leaning my head back against the headrest. “He must be talking to Deanna for the tenth time. She just won’t get over the fact that we’re really moving.”

Mom tightened her hands on the steering wheel and glanced at me. She looked miserable. “I’m sorry about having to uproot the two of you. Especially in your last year of school. I feel so shitty about it.”

I groaned. “Mom, seriously, it’s not your fault. I can’t even believe you’re feeling guilty about it. I mean, nobody had any idea that Dad could be so violent.”

It had been less than three months since our father had brutally attacked our mother. They’d been separated for the last couple of years because of his sporadic temper tantrums, along with his inability to stop screwing other women. When she’d finally found the courage to leave him, he’d actually been pretty civil about it. That was—until he’d learned she’d moved on emotionally and had started dating again. After hearing about it from a mutual friend, he’d flown into a jealous rage, striking back at her viciously. We were all still stunned about the horrifying ordeal.

“I just wish they could locate him,” she said, staring straight ahead. “I think the not knowing where he is scares me the most.”

I nodded. I was so ashamed, that any thoughts of him made me physically ill. It was still really hard to believe that our own father was capable of being so violent. It made it even more disturbing that he’d been in law enforcement and responsible for keeping people safe.

“Me, too.”

After the attack, Dad had disappeared. Meanwhile, our mother had spent several nights in the hospital recovering. Thankfully, there’s been no internal bleeding, although she’d sustained a lot of bruising. The worst of the damage had been done to her mentally. In fact, when she was finally released from the hospital, she couldn’t sleep at night without drugs. She’d wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that he’d show up and beat her again. Then, just recently, she’d been given a gift—a way out. Her employer had offered her an accounting job in Montana, and that was where the three of us were now headed to start a new life.

“I think it’s good that Nathan’s getting away from Deanna, anyway. She’s so whiny and annoying.”

Mom smiled wryly. “Now, Nikki, you haven’t liked any of Nathan’s girlfriends.”

“It’s not my fault he attracts the psychos.”

She burst out laughing and I smiled, enjoying a sound that was finally finding its way back into our lives again.

“God, you’re awful,” she said, shaking her head in amusement.

“Oh, come on. You know I’m right.”

She grabbed her Ray-Bans from the center column and put them on. “Well, he is a little too young to be tied down to just one girl. So, if you ask me, this move will be healthy for the both of them.”

“I’m sure Deanna will find someone else by next week, anyway.” She was so damn needy. Watching her cling to Nathan all the time had been nauseating.

“You really don’t like her, do you?”

I shrugged.

Deep down, I knew I wasn’t being totally fair, because the truth was, I was a little jealous. My brother and I had always been very close, especially living in such a dysfunctional family environment. My earliest memories were of my parents constantly arguing and accusing each other of things. They’d yelled and fought so much of our lives, that once he’d left, the quietness had been eerie. And through it all we’d weathered the storms together. In fact, for all our lives, we’d been best friends; sharing and doing everything together. That was, until the tenth grade, when he’d discovered boobs, I mean, girls. Of course I’d discovered boys as well. I’d discovered that most of them in my school were crude, boring, or just plain idiots.

“So, Mom,” I said, changing a subject in which, I had to admit, left me feeling a little guilty. “What were you saying about this place we’re renting?”

She grinned. “I guess it’s just breathtaking. It’s a log cabin on Shore Lake that’s been on the market for some time. The owners are related to Ernie, and because of our circumstances, they’re letting us rent it relatively cheap.”

Ernie was my mom’s boss, a really nice old man. He was almost like a father-figure to her, which was good because both of her parents had passed away several years ago. Aside from us, there really was nobody else.

“The cabin does sound really cool. Do they happen to have a boat or jet-skis?”

“I’m not sure about the jet-skis, but they definitely have a boat.”

“Sweet.”

“Ernie says he’s caught hundreds of walleye on the lake, so we’ll have to do some fishing, too.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that either.”

“What’s wrong?”

I pulled down the visor. “I have something in my eye.”

“Oh.”

After removing an eyelash out, I examined my reflection in the mirror. Sandy brown hair, light blue eyes, and decent cheekbones. Pretty average-looking and nothing spectacular. My mother claimed that I looked exactly like her when she was growing up. Most of Nathan’s friends said she was a hot MILF, which was pretty gross, but I guessed that meant there was still hope for me.

I closed the visor and leaned my head back against the seat. “I wonder what the school is going to be like.”

As an introvert, I was definitely feeling some anxiety about it. Unlike Nathan, the chatterbox and social butterfly.

“Ernie didn’t say much, but honestly, I don’t expect him to know. He’s in his seventies and never had children.”

“Oh, well. I’m sure it will be fine.”

I didn’t want her worrying about me. She was the one who needed the extra support from us, and I wasn’t about to make her feel any more guilty about moving than she already did.

She slapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, there’s an extra computer at the cabin and you’re allowed to use it.”

“Really? That’s cool,” I smiled. Although she had a laptop, I’d been nagging her forever about getting a computer of my own. Not only would we need it for homework, I loved writing poems and had hoped to one day become an author. Most of mine were written in old notebooks and so hard to keep track of.

“Yes, but you’ll have to share it with your brother.”

“Great,” I said dryly.

“I’m sure he’s learned his lesson.”

“I hope so.”

When Nathan had been in middle school, he and some friends had borrowed her old laptop to surf the internet. Apparently, they’d “accidentally” found themselves on a p**n site, and she’d gotten a virus. After dealing with that, she banned him from using her computer again.

“Are you still writing your poems?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Maybe they’ll have some kind of writing club you can join in the new school?”

“Maybe.”

“If not, you could always join the track team or the cheerleading squad.”

I snorted. “Me? Really? When have you ever known me to be interested in cheerleading? Besides, I’m sure the girlson the squad have been doing it since elementary school. They’d laugh me right out of tryouts.”

“Oh, you never know.”

“It’s not my thing. I’m also not into running for fun.”

“What about soccer or basketball?”

I laughed. “Basketball? I think you need to be taller than the ball to play.”

She chuckled. “Sorry. You got the short gene from me.”

I was only five-foot-two. She was slightly taller.

“How in the hell did Nathan get the better end of the stick?” He was almost six-foot tall. “I mean, we’re twins. Not that I expect him to be as short as me. It’s just weird.”

“Stuff like that just happens that way sometimes. Anyway, think of it this way, you have more choices in guys.”

I grunted. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Even the short ones can be tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Yay,” I said dryly. “I’d still rather be normal height.”

“Oh, Nikki. You are normal height and very pretty. Once you start school, I’m sure the guys will be flocking. Just be picky about who you choose to go out with.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

“What do you mean?”

“High school guys like sporty, outgoing girls. Or sluts. I’m neither.”

She looked amused. “Although I’m glad you’re not a s**t, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You have a lot of great qualities. Don’t sell yourself short.”

I wasn’t even interested in meeting anyone at the moment. Most of the girls at my old school had been constantly stressed out because of their immature boyfriends. I wasn’t about to go down that road, especially in my last year of high school. “It doesn’t matter.”

She frowned. “Sure it does. You’ll want to go to all the dances, and then there’s the prom. You don’t want to miss out on all the fun. You’ll regret it later.”

“Didn’t you go with dad to the prom?” I asked, then immediately felt rotten when I saw the bitterness in her eyes.

“I did,” she said slowly. “But he wasn’t always so... volatile. And, really, he’s among the very few out there like that. You know, Nikki, you can’t be afraid of the world because your dad has some issues.”

Yeah, but weren’t we running because she was still very much afraid?

Of course, I didn’t dare mention that. Instead, I just changed the subject.

“So, how much farther of a drive do we have?” I’d noticed the mountains coming up in the distance, which had to be a good sign.

“Oh, just a couple more hours.”

“Good.”

She turned on the radio and tried looking for some music. It was either country or static. Frustrated, she plugged in her phone. Seconds later, Adele began to sing about Rumors.

I stretched my arms and yawned.

“Honey,” she said, lowering her sunglasses down, “you look beat. Why don’t you try and get some rest? I’ll wake you when we get there.”

“Okay.” I closed my eyes and eventually fell asleep.