Forsaking His Luna

Forsaking

Miriam

The rest of the festival week felt like a dream. We basically spent our days on the beach, and when the night came, we would watch the main concerts and just run away from everyone around us. No time with Arthur could ever be enough.

We shared stories of when we were kids, and things we liked to do in our free time, and most of all, we laughed. I don’t remember ever being this happy in my life. Any time spent with Arthur was like a dream.

On the day we were supposed to travel to Alentejo, I woke up alone, with a single note that had a telephone number and a few words written.

'I am so sorry my love, there was a family emergency. Call me in four days, not before. I’ll explain everything. I love you. Arthur.'

Still shocked, I decided to wait. After all, he must have had his reasons for leaving, without a proper goodbye. It hurt so much. I felt like I had been punched in the chest, the pain was almost unbearable and unyielding.

Moving on was my only move. I tried and stay positive, going with Mafalda on our holiday as planned. Cody was also gone, even though nothing happened between them, I could tell Mafalda missed him too. They became good friends, we all did.

Just like he asked, I waited four days.

On the fourth day, I called around nine in the morning, hoping he would pick up the phone and apologise for leaving me.

Only he didn’t. My call went straight to voice mail which was already full of my messages.

As the days went by, I started feeling numb, nothing else mattered, he was gone.

No goodbye, no excuses, no apologies, it was like he never existed.

I couldn’t even cry any more. All my tears dried.

Me and Mafalda were staying at my aunt’s holiday house where we should all be now having fun, far away from everyone and everything.

I wished I could be left alone, and Mafalda understood why, but she ignored me and stayed anyway. There was no way she would let me suffer alone.

I heard her when she came into my room, opening the door slowly and placing a tray on my desk.

“Mi, hey. You have to eat.”

The smell of toast invaded the room, and I fought nausea that invaded my stomach.

I turned around facing her with my hand on my mouth.

“Please, take that away, it is making me sick.”

She frowned.

“The toast is making you sick?”

Before I could answer, I ran to the toilet faster than I ever had in my life, throwing up last night’s dinner.

Gathering my strength, I got up slowly to wash my face and brush my teeth.

When I turned around, Mafalda had a worried frown, which made me worried.

“What?”

“Miriam, when was the last time you had your period?”

“Oh, Mafalda, please! Leave it be, that’s impossible, I already told you! I am taking birth control every day at the same time. I never forget and never skip it, look!”

From my toilet bag, I grabbed the little pill package to show her. I never missed it. I was very meticulous when it came to my birth control, but since I told Mafalda I had lost my virginity with Arthur, and now I have been sick every morning, she believes I’m pregnant.

“Mi, I know, but, maybe don’t take it now, can you please just do this test I got you?” She handed me a pregnancy test, looking at me with concern in her eyes. It made it impossible for me to deny her request.

“At least you’ll give me some piece of mind, and if it turns out you’re not, great! But please, just do it...”

I waited a few seconds before giving in.

“Fine, give me that!”

She released a sigh and left the toilet, closing the door behind her.

Carefully I read the instructions on the box, finding it amusing that I was doing a pregnancy test. Mom would be so proud.

And then I felt a squeeze in my heart at the thought of having a baby, Arthur’s baby, even though I lost hope of him ever returning, if I had a baby on the way, he needed to at least know...

Taking a shaking deep breath, I started the test process. Putting it upside down when I was done. I exited the toilet, roamed my room and looked at the clock, hoping the time would go faster and slower at the same time. It was like riding a roller-coaster of emotions while waiting.

Finally, the time was up, and I had to face whatever result it was.

Mafalda was waiting for me outside my bathroom door for at least an hour before I could reach with my arm up and unlock the door to let her in.

“Miriam, thank God you’re okay, I was worried about you! Don’t you ever lock me out!”

She kneeled beside me, holding me against her. Soothing me with her hand on my hair as I cried silently.

“Do you want to tell me?”

I waited a few minutes to gather enough courage to tell her.

“It’s positive. I am pregnant. You were right.”

I started crying loudly again.

“It’s okay, let it all out, I’m here.” She waited for me to calm down.

“ What am I going to do? I can’t tell my parents, I can’t reach Arthur on the phone!”

“You have to stay calm and think about your options darling. Think rationally. I know it’s hard, but set your heart aside for five minutes. Do you want to tell him?”

“ Of course I do, he is the father.”

“ Do you want to have this baby?”

I answered without hesitation, I already loved the baby inside me.

“Yes.”

“Okay, so, the first thing would be to tell your parents...”

“I can’t do that now, Mafalda. I’m not ready, that’s going to be a battle I don’t think I can win.”

“Okay, we will find Arthur.”

“How?”

“I’m going to call Cody’s house number...”

“Wait, you have his house number? Are you kidding me?”

“No. He asked me if he could use my phone once when his battery died while he was on the phone with his mum. I didn’t delete it. I wasn’t going to say anything because I wasn’t sure that would be a good idea...”

I slowly sat up, wiping my tears.

“Okay, let’s try it.”

She fetched her phone from her jeans pocket and handed it to me.

I shook my head, I was in no condition to talk on the phone, I would probably say the wrong thing.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the green button.

It rang four times until a soft feminine voice spoke at the other end.

“Hello?”

Clearing her throat, Mafalda spoke calmly and collected.

“Oh, hi, my name is Mafalda, I’m Cody’s friend. I would like to speak to him if possible. Is he around?”

“Oh, yes, please just give me a moment, dear...”

We could hear her calling him on the other end. My heart was in my throat, I was about to have a stroke, completely unable to control my emotions.

“Cody?! Phone for you!... Cody!”

“Yes, Nan, I’m coming!”, we could hear him coming down the stairs.

With a sleepy yawn, he answered.

“Who is it?”

“Mafalda? She says she’s your friend...”

He started whispering, but we could still hear him.

“Oh, oh, nan, I can’t talk to her right now... tell her I’ve gone out, please.”

“Too late, I already told her you’re home. Just talk to her, she seems nice.”

It took a few seconds for him to finally speak.

“Hello?”

“Hey Cody, why are you avoiding me? I thought we were friends...”

“Sorry Mafalda, it’s just. I didn’t know what to say. Arthur asked me to keep my distance from you. He doesn’t want to talk to Miriam.”

Hearing that, it was like being punched in the gut, like someone ripped my heart out.

Why? I thought he loved me. I wasn’t ready for this at all.

“But why? I thought he loved her... they're mates! What changed?”

“He does love her, it’s his grandfather, he’s... well, dangerous. Arthur thinks he’s protecting her if he keeps his distance from her.”

“Well then, please tell him that it’s a life or death situation, he has to call her before it’s too late.”

“What?! Mafalda, what happened?”

“Just tell him I said that, I mean it, it’s life or death!”

“Okay, I’ll call him now. If you need anything in the meantime, call my house again, not my cellphone.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me, please...”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

Mafalda hangs up first and looks at me concerned.

“What?”

“Life or death?”

“I know it seems excessive but at least, we know he will call. I wasn’t going to be the one to give Cody the news before you got a chance to tell it to Arthur yourself.”

A couple of minutes went by and soon my phone started ringing. Mafalda got up and left the toilet, giving me the privacy to speak with him. I let it ring five times before I answered.

"Hello?"

“Miriam! What’s wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt?” I started crying as soon as I heard his voice, unable to contain my emotions.

“Miriam? Please, love, calm down, I’m sorry I didn’t call. Tell me what's happening.”

“Arthur, why? Why didn't you answer my calls? Or at least send me a text?”

“I know, love, I'm sorry, but it’s not safe being with you on the phone right now.”

“I don’t care!” I shouted, losing my s**t for once.“I had already accepted the fact that you had abandoned me, seventeen days have passed since the last time I saw you, you said four days on your note!”

“Miriam, please, I did it for your safety!”

“I don’t care!”

“Okay, okay, just please come down and tell me what’s wrong...”

The time to tell him was now, and somehow I couldn’t give him this news on the phone.

“Can we meet?”

“Now? I’m in Italy...”

“But Cody is in England...”

“I know he rang me and said something was up...”

“It is, and it’s serious. I can’t tell you over the phone.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated...”

“Miriam! Do you have any idea what I am risking right now by being on the phone with you?! Just say what you made me call for, don’t waste my time!”

It was the first time he had ever shouted at me, and made me feel hurt and furious at the same time.

A feminine voice could be heard from his side of the line.

“Arthur, what’s wrong? Who are you calling? I hope it’s not Cody again! We need to talk about the engagement proposal. Please come with-”

“Give me a moment, Allegra...”- his tone of voice, so much more gentle with her than with me. And engagement proposal? I couldn’t believe what I had just heard!

“Okay, don’t be too long...” -he waited a few seconds before speaking again.

“Sorry, Miriam I...”

“Who was that?”

“Miriam calm-”

“I asked you who was talking to you!?”

Realising he couldn’t escape my question, he answered without emotion on his voice.

“That was my fiancé. We are to get married soon. You can’t interfere, you have to stay away. I’m sorry this happened, but it’s my duty. I can’t change it. I will always love you, Miriam but I have to uphold my duties.”

“You know what? Forget it! I don’t need you... Just forget I exist. It shouldn’t be too hard anyway. Wish you all the best with ‘Allegra’, goodbye Arthur!”

“Wai-”

I hung up. It was indeed too late. I was done with him, he had forsaken me.

How could I have ever been so dumb? I was just a distraction from his life. He loves me, but not enough to choose me.

I was the one left behind, pregnant and alone.

Alone? No, I would never be alone again. I had my baby, still, a part of him, but also a part of me, and I wanted to hold on to the strength he was giving me. We will somehow make it without him.